Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Forever Doesn't Mean Much Without You

Chapter 9

by Sarahkilljoykid 2 reviews

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2012-08-06 - Updated: 2012-08-06 - 1060 words

“Ryan?” Kayley whispered Ryan’s name but he didn’t even stir. He was completely passed out… passed out from whatever they had done the night before.

Kayley was as quiet as she could manage and ended up slipping out of Ryan’s bed without him waking. She needed her cell phone! She needed to clear her head and figure out what the hell she’d done! Unfortunately as she opened Ryan’s door she found herself coming face to face with Jon.
He had been seconds away from knocking upon Ryan’s door.

Kayley watched as Jon’s eyes widened… then his mouth fell open. His cheeks began to heat as his face flushed. “Jon, just wait-“ Kayley held her hand out, pressing it against his chest. “Let’s talk first.” She could see him getting irrationally angry… or was it irrational? She wasn’t entirely sure as to how far she’d gone with Ryan.

“Really Kayley?” Jon asked, voice deadly quiet. “Ryan?” He looked past her but Ryan was completely passed out in bed, the only sound coming from him was quiet half snores.
“No Jon.” Kayley shook her head, feeling herself break down a little at the disappointment in Jon’s tone. Ryan was a game, and she was just playing… “I- I think I had too much to drink.” Kayley paused, internally berating herself for what she’d just admitted.
“You were drinking?” Jon asked, eyes narrowing.
“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Kayley asked in a small voice, as Ryan began to turn in his bed. She didn’t want him to wake up.
“Yeah, I think that’s a good fucking idea.” Jon hissed, looking away. He didn’t want to see Ryan in bed, and he didn’t want to see Kayley straight out of his bed…

Kayley exited Ryan’s room, gently closing the door behind her. “Where do you want to talk?”
“Downstairs.” Jon finally said, after giving her a long, cold glare. He was angry, for lack of a better word.

Together they headed downstairs, listening to the silence of the house. Kayley felt stupid; Jon felt irate. Neither of them were happy. “I think this was a mistake.” Jon said, as his foot hit the bottom stair.
Kayley turned to look at him, “What?”
“Kayley, it was a mistake to invite you here. You shouldn’t be around two guys if you can’t keep your legs shut.” Jon shut his eyes tightly, trying not to lose his cool. “Have you slept with Brendon already as well?” He couldn’t keep his calm though. It was gone. It had disappeared the moment Kayley opened the door.
A small gasp of disgust was ripped from Kayley’s lips. “It’s not like I’m some slut, constantly looking for sex.”
“That’s not what I want to think of you but…” Jon looked away, “Who initiated the drinking?” He asked, glaring at Kayley. He already knew the answer but he didn’t want it to be true.
“I did.” Kayley whispered.
Jon shut his eyes once again. Kayley had never seen him so angry before. “Please just go to your room.” He finally whispered, keeping his eyes closed. “Just go.”

Tears bit at the back of Kayley’s eyelids but she kept them at bay as she quickly jogged up the stairs, running head first in to Brendon’s chest. His hair was tousled as he’d obviously just gotten out of bed. “Whoa, good morning.” He blurted.
“No.” Kayley said, as the tears fell free. “It’s not a good morning.”
“What’s wrong?” Brendon blocked her way as she tried to get to her bedroom.
“Do you think I’m a slut?” Kayley asked, finding the word was hard to force out.
“I-“ Brendon awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know how to answer that.” He finally spit out. “What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t want you to have to think about what the right answer would be.” Kayley responded, pushing past him.

Brendon grabbed on to her elbow, “Kayley that’s not how I meant it. The answer is no, okay? You’re not. You’re really tempting and you’re a tease but you’re no slut. I can attest to that.”
Kayley stopped, “That’s what I thought.” She finally said, not looking at Brendon. “I just thought I was a tease… and that was fun but I- I think I made a mistake and I think I took things too far.” Her voice broke.

“What?” Brendon’s voice lowered, “What happened?”
“I don’t know.” Another bedroom door opened.
“Kayley? What’s wrong?” Oh no, not Ryan! Kayley shut her eyes tightly.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Kayley muttered, pulling her arm from Brendon’s grasp. “Please just stay away from me.”

Neither boy knew who she was talking to.

As Kayley reached for her doorknob she heard footsteps and then Jon’s voice, “I need to talk to you guys alone downstairs please.”

Kayley wanted to scream. She wanted Jon to know that she wasn’t some slut. She made a bad decision but that didn’t make her a slut. It was just supposed to be a game and it was just supposed to be fun. This wasn’t fun anymore. Jon hated her… Ryan- did she sleep with him? And Brendon… Brendon was just Brendon. He was the only one she’d probably ever feel comfortable around again and even he was strange territory.

“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, and she could feel his eyes on her.
She had yet to make it to her bedroom.
She just wanted to disappear. She’d never felt so small before. Where was her personality? Where was everything that made her… her? She was just empty, waiting for the big answer… What did she do with Ryan?
“We can talk about it downstairs.” Jon muttered softly.
Kayley could still hear the disappointment.

It caused a sob to break free from her throat, horrible humiliation washing over her.
“No, I think I want to know right now.” Ryan said, voice strengthening. “Kayley, what is wrong?”
For once in her life she was speechless.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
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