FicWad

Gerard’s POV

I watched him fall to the floor, Ray made the second shot, to be certain and I fell to my knees in front of him, I hit the floor and my heart just shattered into a hundred tiny fragments, the tears still rolling down my eyes, Mikey knelt next to me, he placed his head on my shoulder, and his arm was wrapped around me in an attempt to comfort me, I couldn’t control my tears, or my uneven breathing, I couldn’t control the images of his face in my mind, it just feels like he’s taken my life with him, I have nowhere to go, I crawled forward toward his body on the floor, I let his blood stain my clothes, I didn’t care, I stroked his hair and wiped the stale tears from his face, I placed my hand on his cheek, he look so at peace, I placed a single kiss on his forehead, and stood up “Gerard, we can stay a little longer if you want to say goodbye…” Mikey whispered, I shook my head and took a deep breath “If you love it, let it go, right?” I stated I glanced back at his lifeless body before swiftly heading toward the fire exit that Bob and Ray had already walked through “….it’s easier to go…” I whispered into the air

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone


It’s been two months now, and I still can’t believe he’s gone, the pain just gets worse, with every waking hour, waking up of a morning and realising I didn’t just dream it, that he really is gone, realising that Mikey is protecting me these days, and not so much the other was around like it used to be, although the pain of a broken heart is not technically literal, t’s the most excruciating pain I’ve ever been in, every time I think of him, or remember him, it’s like a knife stabs straight into my heart, it’s like he’s killing me.


These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
/]
[/When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me


The dreams have gotten worse, Mikey’s been waking me up of a night telling me I’ve been screaming, and sometimes I’ve woken up crying, or sweating or calling out his name, the heart ache has eased a little, but it will always hurt, it’s just my mind that’s plagued now, plagued of his face, and his voice, and his touch, everything about him haunts me. sometimes I hear his voice in my head, and I tell myself not to listen, but it’s so hard, because I want to, just so I can feel like he’s here with me, just so I can talk to him, even if he isn’t there.


You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me


I understand now, I’ve been through the grief, I’ve blamed them, I’ve blamed myself, I’ve blamed Frank, but now I know, it had to be done, otherwise he’d have become something else, he wouldn’t love me anymore, and he would have killed us all, if Ray hadn’t have pulled that trigger, if I hadn’t have moved when he told me to, if he hadn’t have stopped running, he’d have died anyway, but his body, possessed by something else, would be walking the earth, with a lust for flesh, and I’d rather him have been shot dead, than him turn into a monster, and that’s what he knew, he was scared, scared of losing everything, and I see that now, it was his time, and one day it will be mine, and we’ll be together again, but until then, I’m always going to be there to protect Mikey, even though Ray’s kind of taken my role now they’ve been ‘together’ for a while, I envy them sometimes, and some days I hate them, I feel like they rub the fact they’re both alive and well and all in love and Frank’s not, I feel like they rub it in my face, I know they don’t mean to make me feel that way, but I’ve never once doubted my feelings for Frank, I never once denied them to try and make myself feel better, because I know, and I always have known, that what we had, that, is something that will never die, and that’s something very few people have had, and I feel sorry for them…
but I know that he’s still with me, he’ll always be with me, in my dreams and in my thoughts for the rest of my days, maybe I will find someone else, but I’ll never love them the way I love him, I will always love Frank, although our time is through, I’ll never get over him.


These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
/]
[/When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me…

AN- okay so that’s it! I do have another story that I’ve already started so you can check that out it’s called ‘The Hunters of The Predator’, I really hope you enjoyed this one! The italics is My Immortal by Evanescence if you didn’t know, I thought the song was relevant so I threw it in there. Okay so talk to you guys next story I guess – BitterLoveBlackHeart xoxo