Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > The Curious Tales Of Four Guys In A Cool Band
The guys parked in front of a high school.
"Man, this brings back so many memories!" Brendon said
"Dude, we didn't even go to this high school" Spencer said
"Shhhhhh don't be a killjoy"
They got out of the car. They were supposed to go speak to high school students about dangerous stuff in high school and college, like drinking and driving, sex, rape, etc.
They walked through the auditorium doors, expecting the "ERMAHGERD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" fangirls. Nope. They had forgotten one thing. These were city kids. They were into "YOLO" stuff and One Way or Direction or something. No one there knew who they were. And if they did, they didn't care. It was silent. No one talked at all.
"HELLO YOUNG ONES I LOVE YOU!" Jon shouted
They made they're way to the stage, to give their words of wisdom out to the young ones.
"Well, I would like to start with saying that no one here should have sex" Ryan said. "I have never had sex becau-"
"BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS YOU!" a boy from the crowd shouted.
"NO! It's because if you have sex, I GUARANTEE you that your balls will explode. And for you ladies, 100% of the time, girls get pregnant and die" he finished
It was obvious that all of the students, except for the seniors, were horrified.
A senior boy stood up.
"I HAVE HAD SEX AT LEAST 20 TIMES! THIS IS FAKE! DON'T WORRY!"
Everyone relaxed. Ryan didn't know how to respond. It was obvious at this point that the teachers weren't in the room or they would've said something.
They're probably having an orgy Ryan thought. Someone save me
"Well," Spencer started "At least everyone knows that you're a whore"
That earned giggles from the girls
"EVERYONE STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE MIGHT HAVE STD'S" Brendon shouted
Everyone in the room was dying at that point. The boy remained silent and sat down.
"Now" Jon said "I want to give you advice. I have learned over the years that you have to be careful with the decisions you make throughout life. I know some of you like to party, and you think you're all cool and rad and shit, but you're not. NO ONE PARTIED AS HARD AS JONSTER!" he shouted
"Yeah right, Jon. You give up at drinking games after 3 beers! I'm the CHAMP!" Brendon said
"I wasn't even drunk-" Jon said
"Here we go" said Ryan
"I wasn't a little bitch like you! You were tripping balls!"
"I wasn't THAT drunk"
"YES YOU WERE! FOR GOD SAKES YOU SANG BROADWAY UNTIL 2AM"
"I-what?!"
"That's right! I still clearly remember a certain fellow named Brendon Urie in a dress at 1:30, urging us to sing along to the soundtrack of Wicked. YOU WERE GLINDA!"
Everyone roared with laughter. A teacher came in at that point and heard that last minute of the conversation.
"Uhh..boys! Why don't you roam around the high school for the rest of the day? I'm sure you'd like that" she said
"MRS.JOHNSON! I MISSED YOU!" Brendon exclaimed, as he got down from the stage. he tackled the teacher in a hug.
"Um...do I know you?"
"YES YOU WERE MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER!"
"I teach English"
"I love you."
"BRENDON!" Spencer shouted "Off, boy."
"But.. but..ok" he said, releasing her from his bear hug.
They agreed to wander around the school the rest of the day, checking it out and leaving when they felt ready.
"This is so cool! This reminds me of high school! Remember guys? I was the biggest whore!" Brendon said
"Dude, you were following Jennifer everywhere like a puppy" Spencer said "Jennifer was manlier than you. She liked manly things when you liked...what's the word...girlier things"
"Pshh it was only because I was tapping that"
"I'm tellinggggggggggggg!!!!!" Ryan said
"No please don't!" Brendon pleaded
They laughed. They came across a closet. They heard loud moaning. Ryan opened the closet door and pulled out a cheerleader and a jock, who were doing it. He held them, and screamed
"ABSTINENCE!" and then released them
"STOP PRESSURING ABSTINENCE ON PEOPLE, YOU VIRGIN!" Spencer said
"WELL,YOU'RE A VIRGIN,TOO!" Ryan shot back
"NO I'M NOT!"
"Oh shit, Spenc. Who's the poor girl?" Ryan asked, with mock concern.
Here's the thing: Spencer deflowered Ryan's precious, beloved, innocent little sister. But he couldn't tell Ryan that, now could he?
"Um...um..our English teacher!"
"WHAT?! OHMYGAWSH! THIS IS GOLD" Ryan said.
"What was she like?" Jon asked, with a devilish grin. Oh yeah. He knew Spencer's dirty little secret.
"Umm..soft and...cool..I guess" Spencer stuttered
"EWWWWWWWWW" they all said
"Yep.." was all Spencer could manage
They continued to walk, and they were soon face to face with 5 girls.
"They aren't students here they're.. ERMAHGERD PANIC AT DER DISCER!"
"RUN!" they all ran for they're lives, while the screaming fangirls chased them, hoping to rape them to death.
As they passed the open classrooms, Ryan screamed a message to everyone.
"ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE!"
They finally made it outside
"Do they follow us everywhere?!" Brendon panted
"I think so" Jon choked out. "I think they were the same girls that were in that college"
"Let's go home" Spencer said
As they walked to the car, Ryan stopped.
"Wait, guys"
"What" they said
"HOW THE HELL CAN THE GIRLS BE IN COLLEGE WHILE IN HIGH SCHOOL?!"
"Man, this brings back so many memories!" Brendon said
"Dude, we didn't even go to this high school" Spencer said
"Shhhhhh don't be a killjoy"
They got out of the car. They were supposed to go speak to high school students about dangerous stuff in high school and college, like drinking and driving, sex, rape, etc.
They walked through the auditorium doors, expecting the "ERMAHGERD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" fangirls. Nope. They had forgotten one thing. These were city kids. They were into "YOLO" stuff and One Way or Direction or something. No one there knew who they were. And if they did, they didn't care. It was silent. No one talked at all.
"HELLO YOUNG ONES I LOVE YOU!" Jon shouted
They made they're way to the stage, to give their words of wisdom out to the young ones.
"Well, I would like to start with saying that no one here should have sex" Ryan said. "I have never had sex becau-"
"BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS YOU!" a boy from the crowd shouted.
"NO! It's because if you have sex, I GUARANTEE you that your balls will explode. And for you ladies, 100% of the time, girls get pregnant and die" he finished
It was obvious that all of the students, except for the seniors, were horrified.
A senior boy stood up.
"I HAVE HAD SEX AT LEAST 20 TIMES! THIS IS FAKE! DON'T WORRY!"
Everyone relaxed. Ryan didn't know how to respond. It was obvious at this point that the teachers weren't in the room or they would've said something.
They're probably having an orgy Ryan thought. Someone save me
"Well," Spencer started "At least everyone knows that you're a whore"
That earned giggles from the girls
"EVERYONE STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE MIGHT HAVE STD'S" Brendon shouted
Everyone in the room was dying at that point. The boy remained silent and sat down.
"Now" Jon said "I want to give you advice. I have learned over the years that you have to be careful with the decisions you make throughout life. I know some of you like to party, and you think you're all cool and rad and shit, but you're not. NO ONE PARTIED AS HARD AS JONSTER!" he shouted
"Yeah right, Jon. You give up at drinking games after 3 beers! I'm the CHAMP!" Brendon said
"I wasn't even drunk-" Jon said
"Here we go" said Ryan
"I wasn't a little bitch like you! You were tripping balls!"
"I wasn't THAT drunk"
"YES YOU WERE! FOR GOD SAKES YOU SANG BROADWAY UNTIL 2AM"
"I-what?!"
"That's right! I still clearly remember a certain fellow named Brendon Urie in a dress at 1:30, urging us to sing along to the soundtrack of Wicked. YOU WERE GLINDA!"
Everyone roared with laughter. A teacher came in at that point and heard that last minute of the conversation.
"Uhh..boys! Why don't you roam around the high school for the rest of the day? I'm sure you'd like that" she said
"MRS.JOHNSON! I MISSED YOU!" Brendon exclaimed, as he got down from the stage. he tackled the teacher in a hug.
"Um...do I know you?"
"YES YOU WERE MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER!"
"I teach English"
"I love you."
"BRENDON!" Spencer shouted "Off, boy."
"But.. but..ok" he said, releasing her from his bear hug.
They agreed to wander around the school the rest of the day, checking it out and leaving when they felt ready.
"This is so cool! This reminds me of high school! Remember guys? I was the biggest whore!" Brendon said
"Dude, you were following Jennifer everywhere like a puppy" Spencer said "Jennifer was manlier than you. She liked manly things when you liked...what's the word...girlier things"
"Pshh it was only because I was tapping that"
"I'm tellinggggggggggggg!!!!!" Ryan said
"No please don't!" Brendon pleaded
They laughed. They came across a closet. They heard loud moaning. Ryan opened the closet door and pulled out a cheerleader and a jock, who were doing it. He held them, and screamed
"ABSTINENCE!" and then released them
"STOP PRESSURING ABSTINENCE ON PEOPLE, YOU VIRGIN!" Spencer said
"WELL,YOU'RE A VIRGIN,TOO!" Ryan shot back
"NO I'M NOT!"
"Oh shit, Spenc. Who's the poor girl?" Ryan asked, with mock concern.
Here's the thing: Spencer deflowered Ryan's precious, beloved, innocent little sister. But he couldn't tell Ryan that, now could he?
"Um...um..our English teacher!"
"WHAT?! OHMYGAWSH! THIS IS GOLD" Ryan said.
"What was she like?" Jon asked, with a devilish grin. Oh yeah. He knew Spencer's dirty little secret.
"Umm..soft and...cool..I guess" Spencer stuttered
"EWWWWWWWWW" they all said
"Yep.." was all Spencer could manage
They continued to walk, and they were soon face to face with 5 girls.
"They aren't students here they're.. ERMAHGERD PANIC AT DER DISCER!"
"RUN!" they all ran for they're lives, while the screaming fangirls chased them, hoping to rape them to death.
As they passed the open classrooms, Ryan screamed a message to everyone.
"ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE!"
They finally made it outside
"Do they follow us everywhere?!" Brendon panted
"I think so" Jon choked out. "I think they were the same girls that were in that college"
"Let's go home" Spencer said
As they walked to the car, Ryan stopped.
"Wait, guys"
"What" they said
"HOW THE HELL CAN THE GIRLS BE IN COLLEGE WHILE IN HIGH SCHOOL?!"
Sign up to rate and review this story