FicWad

I felt like I was floating. It was a good feeling, but a weird one. I mean, if I were to actually float would it feel like this? Would it feel like I was weightless or would it feel no different from having gravity? What even is this right now? Is this a dream? Am I dreaming? Wow, I have to be the most boring person to dream about—

“Liv.” My mother’s voice startled me awake. I didn’t open my eyes, just continued to lay on my stomach. “Olivia get up.”

I groaned and rolled over, opening my eyes as I did so. “Natural light! It burns!” I hissed. My mother chuckled. “Seriously, why can’t I move into the basement again?” I groaned.

“Be my guest, but you’re moving everything on your own,” she said from the doorway.

“I’ll get Frank to help me then.”

She laughed loudly at that. “He won’t be much help.”

“If he heard you say that he’d…cry…on your favorite dress,” I joked.

“I’m quaking in my boots.”

“Hey, his tears are like acid, I swear.” I flopped back down on my bed and rolled onto my side, attempting to go back to sleep. “Why’d you get me up so early,” I whined.

“Olivia, it’s nearly 4, that’s not early!”

“It’s the summer, any time before sundown is early.”

“C’mon, get up. I need you to watch Posy,” she persisted.

“Ugh, Demon Spawn.” Posy was my mother’s Chihuahua. I swear the dog had it out for me and Frank. The last time I had him over Posy pissed on Frank’s leg and devoured both of our wallets.

“She is not Demon Spawn.”

“Mom, she took a shit in my favorite shoes! The dog hates me!”

She sighed. “I just need you to watch her for a few hours. I’m going out, I’ll be back before 8.”

“Where are you going for four hours?!” I shrieked.

“Out.”

“To see your lover?” I made kissy faces at her until she rolled her eyes and left.

“Make sure Posy stays out of my room!”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell Shane he’s a dick!” I called as she closed the door.

Shane’s my mom’s man of the hour. He’s not really a dick but it was kind of funny how much he wanted me to like him for my mom’s sake.

I went downstairs and locked Demon Spawn outside. For the next three and a half hours I watched mindless TV and ate Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. Eventually I got bored and decided that a shower would be nice. I went upstairs and turned on my shower playlist.

The chords to my favorite song started. I grinned and hopped in the shower. Ah, this was nice. Showers were nice. Showers are the greatest. They’re so warm and…wet… I’m sure if someone wanted to they could write a sonnet about showers. Ok, I admit, I tried. But then iambic pentameter got too hard so I gave up. I never really got that far anyway.

About twenty minutes passed and I was still in the shower, singing at the top of my lungs. I didn’t have the greatest voice but it wasn’t like anyone was home. Eventually I heard footsteps downstairs and I sighed. I suppose I should get out now that mom is home. I got out of the shower, still singing along with my music.

“Look at my facial hair! Oh man! Hot damn! It’s everywhere!” I tried not to giggle at the nonsensical lyrics as I made my way to my bedroom. “Where’d you get that beard? I grew it! How do you keep it so clean? I shampoo it! YEAH!” I pushed open my bedroom door, towel wrapped around myself, and nearly dropped everything I was carrying, towel included.

Standing in the middle of my room was a random guy I’d never seen before. He had dark black hair that fell just past his chin. His skin was as white as snow, I swear. His eyes were a deep hazel and he was pretty tall.

I looked around, yep, this was my room. I checked my iPod, nope, I hadn't traveled through time somehow. I poked the guy in the chest, yep, he was real.

The guy furrowed his brow at me and I stared, just as confused, at him. He looked me up and down and smirked. “Maybe staying here won’t be so bad.”

“Mom!” I called while backing away and walking to the kitchen where I heard her banging around. “Mom, there is some weird guy in my room,” I whispered loudly as I entered the room.

“Oh, that’s just Gerard,” she said, her back turned to me. “He’s part of some student exchange program.”

“So he’s from Sweden or something?” I asked.

“No, he’s from New Jersey.”

“What? Mom, I thought you said foreign exchange program. New Jersey isn’t—”

“No,” she interrupted, “I said student exchange program.”

“What, so they just called up some kid from New Jersey and said ‘Hey, do you want to study in some po-dunk town in Texas for a semester?’” I was thoroughly confused.

“No, they said, ‘Hey, do you want to study in some po-dunk town in Texas for a year,’” she said, her back still turned to me. I’m not exactly sure what she was doing…

“What!? He’s going to be here for an entire year?! Why didn’t you tell me!?” I shouted.

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Surprise! You get a weird kid living with you for a year!” I mocked. “Yes, because that's such a great surprise. And why is he in my room? Can he not follow directions to the guest bedroom or something?”

“He's staying in your room tonight. The guest bedroom is messy, you two are cleaning it while I'm at work tomorrow,” she said calmly.

“Why can't he sleep on the couch?!”

“You and Frank broke it last week.”

“Oh. Yeah...” We were having a contest to see who could stick the most marshmallows to the ceiling. Frank is...vertically challenged so he started jumping fron the couch, trying to reach the ceiling. I joined in and eventually the couch just gave out. I chuckled at the memory. Then a thought struck me. “Why is he here at the beginning of the summer!? School doesn’t start until August!”

“He needs to get acclimated to the town.” My mom turned to face me for the first time during the conversation. “Jesus Christ, Olivia! Go put some clothes on!” She shouted gesturing to my towel clad form.

“I would but there's some weird kid in my room!” I glared at her and stormed back to my room. When I reached it the guy was sitting on my bed. I clenched my jaw, still clutching the towel to my chest. “You,” I said, pointing to him.

“Gerard.”

I blinked. “Yeah, right, whatever. Get out.”

“What?”

“Get. Out.” I repeated.

“Why?”

“Because, this is my room. Get out.” He silently relented and I slammed the door on him. When I opened the door again—fully dressed this time—Gerard was standing in the hall. “What are you doing?”

He blushed a little, making me feel the slightest bit guilty for snapping at him. “I don’t know where anything is…”

I sighed. “Come here.” He slowly walked into my room and I sat him on the bed. “This is my room. Unfortunately my mother is batshit crazy so you’re staying in here tonight.”

“Why aren’t I sleeping on the couch or something?” he asked innocently.

“I broke it.” I pointed out of my open door to the room across the hall. “That is the guest bedroom. We’re cleaning it out tomorrow so that’s where you’ll be staying.” My phone vibrated in my pocket alerting me that I had a text.

FroYo tomorrow? ~F

I smiled. Frank saves the day again! “I’m going to FroYo with Frank tomorrow!” I called to my mother.

“What about cleaning the guest bedroom?” She called back.

“Gerard said he’d do it by himself.”

“Did he really?” She asked skeptically.

“No," Gerard called, smirking at me.

I heard my mom laugh from the kitchen. “You should bring Gerard with you when you two finish.”

I sighed and glared at him. “I dislike you already,” I said before replying to Frank’s text.

Yeah, but I gotta bring someone. ~O

Aww, no Frankie/Liv time? ~F

Nope. Frankie/Liv/Gerard time. ~O

Who’s Gerard? ~F

You’ll see -.- ~O

I threw my phone on my bed and flopped on it, closing my eyes before realizing that Gerard was still there. I looked over to him and he was staring at me. “What,” I snapped.

He looked at me cockily. “So which side am I sleeping on,” he asked with a smirk.

I glared at him, my face turning red. Red from embarrassment and something else I just couldn’t place, but I’d let him think it was anger. “The floor.” I growled out.

So there it is. The first chapter. I hope you all like this and will continue to read it. I haven't written a humorous story in a while so I thought I'd do my best. Also, the title kind of sucks...Ok really sucks. I just had to put something down and that was the best I could come up with so if someone could come up with a better one that would be great! Thanks y'all! Stay lovely!
Oh, and the song I'm referring to when Olivia's coming out of the shower is Beard Lust by Natalie Portman's Shaved Head. It's a pretty great song.