FicWad

I'm really sorry I keep making you guys wait, starting college soon so I've been really busy with getting things sorted, plus I had community work all last week -.-



Frank POV

Paralyzed with fear I stared terrified around the pitch black room, scrambling for Gerard’s hand and squeezing it tightly. Cupping his face I kissed him fiercely on his lips, stroking his cheek wishing I could see his beautiful eyes. Sprawling off the bed I messily opened the small curtain covering the window and the dim white glow of the moon highlighted Gee’s fearful face.

‘Baby, listen to me, it’s going to be okay.’ I lied, trying to comfort Gerard, his heart visibly beating fast under his pale chest.

Whimpering, Gee grabbed my hand and led me to his wardrobe, opening the doors and literally pushing me in.

‘Frankie…I love you.’ He croaked, tilting my head up with his hand.

‘I love you too Gee.’ I whispered, tears welling up in my wide eyes.

Smiling sadly he started to lock the door until I was suddenly immersed in pitch black again, hearing Gee stumble over to his desk, rustling with papers.

Swallowing hard I heard heavy footsteps descend the basement stairs a couple of minutes later, my breathing deepening. I also heard Mikey and Bob trying to reason with my Dad, but they didn’t realise that when my Dad wanted something, nothing would stop him.

His thundering steps stopped at the door.
The door slammed open.
I heard Gerard let out a weak yelp.
The footsteps slowly walked over to the desk.

‘Where the FUCK is the boy?’ I heard a slurred deep voice order.

‘I d-don’t know w-what you mean…’ Gerard whispered unsteadily, his voice breaking.

‘Don’t you fucking lie to me kid.’ He shouted, my heart pounding in my ears.

‘I’m not, I seriously d-don’t k-‘

I heard a hard punch and Gerard scream, my Dad commanding him to show me where I was hidden.

I didn’t know what to do.

Gerard is going to get seriously hurt if I don’t do something.

But I couldn’t.

I heard another gruesome fist collide to Gee’s face, this time lower down.

Oh god, he’s got him to the floor.

All I could hear was Gerard screaming, crying, and calling for me. His weak painful cries for my comfort wrapping my body tighter and tighter with guilt as I just sat there, hugging myself, hyperventilating.

Multiple footsteps echoed in the room as I heard Mikey scream at someone to call the police, and yelling at my Dad too stop hurting Gerard, his shrieks deafening my senses, his voice crippling with pain.

Gerard’s yells started to croak, and then I swear I could hear the faint splutter of him cough something up, Mikey screaming hysterically, his voice layered with undeniable panic.

Then the worst thing happened.

Silence.

Deathly silence.

Bawling, I covered my ears with my hands and started to sing quietly, trying to fill the empty silent void inhabiting my conscience. Squeezing my eyes shut I heard the light footsteps run to where I was hiding and fling the door open, a panicked frenzy terrifying me to my very
core.

A pair of cold hands grabbed my bare shoulders and started shaking me gently, increasing the volume of my voice. The hands started to attempt to pull my quivering ones away from my eyes, but it just resulted in me screaming and kicking out.

‘Shhh Frankie, it’s me, it’s Mikey.’ I heard him hush, brushing my drenched hair out of my eyes.

‘I’m here you for sweetheart.’ He whispered, lacing his hand with mine.

Breaking down I cried into his shoulder, clutching onto his jumper and dragging him down on top of me, my cries becoming muffled by his body. Something clicked in my head as I jolted up and pushed Mikey out of the way, rushing to Gerard, his skinny motionless body abandoned on the floor, blood dripping down his chin and smudged on his cheeks.

‘Call a fucking ambulance!’ I screamed, my body trembling violently as I threw myself down on the floor, cradling my beautiful boy.

This is all my fault.

Weeping harder I pressed my fingers on his throat, trying to pick up a pulse. It was irrationally high and unsteady, but it was there.

Blaring sirens burst through the house, blue lights flashing around Gerard’s room, his gorgeous hazel eyes half open.

Suddenly. He gasped and spat up more blood, wrapping his arms viciously around my neck, leaving blood on my bare chest. Frightened wide eyes gazed up at me, as he licked his irresistible lips, and then started to gasp for air again, his eyes rolling into the back of his head, his skin pasty and grey.

Crying and panicking, Mikey rushed into the room, directing the ambulance people to wear I was cradling Gerard. Shaking my head frantically I squeezed Gee harder, refusing to let go.

‘Frank let go…’ Ray asked softly, his warm brown eyes flickering over to Gee’s shaking body.

‘No…’ I croaked, closing my eyes, nuzzling my face into his wet hair.

Two men dressed in uniform tried to prise me off Gerard, but that just made me panic and clutch onto him tighter.

I’m not going to loose him, not again.

‘You’re going to kill him if you don’t let go.’ A man hushed sympathetically tugging at my arm.

Exhausted, I let go, crying hysterically and collapsing, clawing at the floor, whispering to myself.
‘Frankie pull yourself together dude!’ Ray said hurried, pulling me to my feet and holding me at arms length.

‘You need to be there for Gerard, he’s in real trouble this time.’ Ray attempted to explain calmly, whilst everyone bustled out of the room.

Steadying myself I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, nodding at Ray then rushing out of the house to the ambulance, a screaming Gerard being strapped down.

‘Frankie! Frankie? Get the fuck off me I need Frankie!’ He screeched, his frenzied squirming causing the paramedics to hold him down.

‘Don’t you fucking dare put that needle anywhere near me!.’ He shouted aggressively, then coughing, small specks of blood appearing on the white sheet covering his body.

His uncontrollable rage turned to panic and confusion, as the medication was managed to be injected. Mikey stroked him hair trembling, his tear stained face skimming over to me running over.

‘Gee…Gee baby I’m here.’

Mikey moved out of the way of me wearily as I put my cold hand to Gee’s boiling forehead and kissed his lips gently, his half closed eyes flickering open. His bloodshot amber orbs glistened at me sadly, his beautiful porcelain skin smudged with dark crimson specks. Tears started to run down my face again, as the sirens, the shouting, the commands and the people started to melt away.

Nothing mattered, as long as my baby was in my arms.

Smiling I licked my chapped lips as he tried to speak, but in his weak state he couldn’t muster his perfect voice, causing his eyes to close again, and his hands to become limp and unlace mine. Kissing him again I moved backwards for the paramedics, as they pushed him inside, his black hair covering his face.

‘Would you like to go with him?’ A medic asked me softly, arm on shoulder.

Brushing him off politely I bit my lip and glanced at the nervous wreck which was Mikey, his skinny frame pacing the drive, his voice rushed as he explained to Donna on the phone.

Scratching my head I jogged over to Mikey and patted him on the back, massaging his shoulders slightly as he hung up the phone.

‘Go with him Mikes, I’ll stay here with Bob and Ray, please ring me later…’ I trailed off, feeling tears well up in my aching eyes again.

‘I promise Frankie, it’s going to be okay.’ He sniffed, before awkwardly hugging me then rushing of to the ambulance.

I watched the vehicle drive off, sirens blaring, my eyes blurry and my head throbbing. Inhaling a shaky breath I stared down the pitch black road, even after the ambulance with my beautiful boy was long gone. I pulled out a cigeratte and sparked up, the artificial glow of the streetlamps hurting my eyes, and making the once mesmerizing twirls of smoke into ugly thick rivers of chemicals.

‘We’re going inside Frank, make sure you come in and sleep, don’t worry he’s going to be fine.’ Ray said; his muscular arm around my neck.

‘’Yeah Franks, the paramedics know what they’re doing.’ Bob reassured, nodding towards me to avoid any male to male contact.

Sighing, I took one last drag and glanced down the road once more, wishing Gerard’s warm arms were wrapped around my waist, his soft pink lips kissing and nibbling my neck attentively, his love oozing out of very pore of his beautiful perfect and irreplaceable body.

Shaking the thought of his presence out of my head I entered the house, the lounge very dim, the lamp just about lighting the place up. Ray was curled up on the couch and Bob on the floor, sprawled out awkwardly.

Feeling lost and very insecure, I swayed on the spot, lost in my own thoughts.

What’s going to happen to Dad?

What’s going to happen to Gerard?

In fear of loosing my mind, I searched for something to comfort me, but I was in unfamiliar surroundings and nothing was mine. I was becoming irritated and anxious, so I raced down the basement stairs and fell into Gee’s bedroom, the night’s events flooding back to me.

Shaking the visions out of my head I rushed over to next to the bed and fell to my knees, on all fours. My mad eyes searched the floor until my hands met with the soft thick fabric of a familiar piece of clothing. Smiling, I crawled into Gee’s skeleton onesie and breathed in his scent, the faint smell of coffee, graphite and cigarettes making me feel calmer.

Standing up I hugged my body and walked over the desk, as a small metal object was shimmering slightly under the moons glow, curiosity keeping my mind of Gee in hospital. Sitting on the chair my fingers wrapped around the smooth cool metal of a padlock and a chain, with a key in the slot. Tracing the metal with my fingertips I noticed a letter neatly written in Gee’s italic writing.

Dear Frankie,

I deserve the self destruction. I deserve the pain of hurting myself in every possible aspect I can muster. I’ve had a shit life, granted, and I’ve never wanted to end my life now more than I have ever wanted to in a long time.

Then I met you.

This weird boy with wild beautiful eyes and an adorable giggle, this new awkward kid with the fucked up family but had still managed to come out the other end stronger. The cute vegetarian who has an unhealthy obsession with dogs and makes me feel loved and is the nearest thing to heaven I think I’ll ever encounter.

You’ve changed my life, and I love you so much, so much it physically hurts. I can’t stop thinking about you, dreaming about you, being with you. I forgot how to smile, and you made me remember. I want you in my life forever, and I want to give you this padlock and key.

If you ever get fed up with me, I’ll understand, just unlock the padlock and give it me back. Just make sure, the last thing I want to see you do is smile, because even when you’re gone that smile will stay with me forever.

For my beautiful Frankie,

With all my heart, Gee. x

The ink started to spread as my teary eyes emptied onto the page, my quivering hands wriggling my head through the chain, and then kissing the padlock lightly.

‘I love you too Gee.’ I whispered shakily, my voice breaking.

My eyes were getting heavy and my head was hurting considerably more, so I decided to call it a night and crawl into Gee’s bed, pulling the covers over my head and nuzzling my face into the duvet, pretending Gee was next to me.

But I just couldn’t envision it.

Feeling incredibly empty, I was beginning to enter a turmoil of my old school depression and guilt, my own brain blaming myself for my Dad’s antics. Swallowing the lump in my throat I grabbed two pillows and laid them vertically down the bed next to me then cuddled up next to it, pretending it was Gee.

Slowly but surely, I started to drift off into an uncomfortable nights sleep.