Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Here Comes Trouble AKA: The Internet
Well, here's the last chapter, though you guys can continue this story if you want. On one condition that you just let me know so I can see where you go with it. Sometime, I may write a one-shot where Dumbledore confronts JKR.
Chapter 9
More Evil Fan Fiction
Ginny B. laid down on her bed, in her room/prison. I wonder when my next victim - I mean visitor will come. Out of boredom she proceeded to sing the song that gets on everybody's' nerves loudly, "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes."
Ten more verses later . . .
Finally Mrs. Weasley shouted, "WILL YOU SHUT UP!" 'Another satisfied customer,' Ginny B. allowed herself an evil laugh as the ever so lovely Mrs. Black started shouting "complements" about how "wonderful" she thinks it is to have all those blood traitors, mudbloods, and half-breeds in her house.
Down the hall in Harry's Room . . .
"Lets read more of what those loony-toons wrote about us," Hermione said, returning to the evil that is fan fiction.net. One of the stories caught her eye. A Heart Renewed
____________________________________
Sadness was filling Harry at the thought of losing his godfather. Will Ron be able to help him? HP/CD RW/HP
_____________________________________
"What the heck, click on it," Ron said.
______________________________________
'I can't believe I killed him my, one true love,' tears fell from Harry's eyes as he thought of Cedric's murder. 'It is my fault.' He slumped against the wall of the astronomy tower.
_______________________________________
"What the?!" Harry's face did the perfect imitation of a fish out of water. "Haven't these people read the books? I AM STRAIT! Plus, I've only known the guy for 1 year!"
________________________________________
"Harry, is that you? Are you okay?" Ron asked as he sat down.
"I-I c-c-can't believe he's dead? My one true love," Harry broke into sobs.
"You have me, I've always had feelings for you, Harry. I love you," Ron said sitting down next to him, and they shared a passionate kiss.
_________________________________________
"WHAT THE (Bleep) (Bleep)!" Harry and Ron shouted.
Mrs. Weasley shouted, "Boys language!"
"Blimey, what are they going to pair us with next, the giant squid!"
"Uh, guys, you might want to take a look at this . . ."
Malfoy Manner . . .
"But, Father, this is muggle rubbish! Why are you making me do this!" Draco pouted.
"Because I said so, and it is important to know thy enemy," Lucius said sternly. "Now I'll only say this once, I want you to read some of those fan fictions and record what the story is about. Remember, this is a way to help our cause and the more you record the better."
"How exactly is reading muggle stories going to help the cause and why are you making me do this?!"
"Because the Dark Lord said so now get to work!" Lucius snapped. As he left the room he smirked. 'It's times like these that I appreciate being a father, having the son do all the work I don't want to do.'
'Alright so which one should I read first?' Draco clicked on the first story that caught his eye.
___________________
Hr/D Hermione changes over the summer do to her abusive father, little does she know she isn't the only one with scars. Will a certain Slytherin be able to save her?
_____________________
All throughout the story Draco started getting more and more irritated and one line finally made him snapped;
_____________________
"Oh Hermione, I've always loved you. I need help to cure my evil ways! My father not only beats me but -
______________________
Draco threw the laptop through the window. 'Number 1, my father never beats me, number 2, I enjoy being evil thank you very much, and number 3 there is no way I'll ever go out that mudblood!' Draco fumed.
"Accio laptop," Lucius said. "You will continue reading or else." He placed the laptop on the table.
"But Father, they paired me with a mudblood! A MUDBLOOD I TELL YOU!"
"Here's a little advice for you to take to heart and cherish for the rest of your life," Lucius said in a bittersweet low voice and then shouted. "DEAL WITH IT!" Then left the room.
Downstairs. . .
"Are you sure it is safe for Draco to be reading fan fictions? Those stories could potentially leave him scarred for life."
"My son, Severus, is a Malfoy, and is much stronger then you give him credit for! If I can survive reading a story pairing me and Weasley," he shivered, "then he can handle being paired up with Granger. And besides as far as I'm concerned, better him get scarred for life then me!"
"Whatever you say, Lucius," Snape took a sip of his tea.
"I still can't believe those blasted muggles would have the nerve to write stuff like this! This is evidence that everyone of those blasted muggles should be eliminated, starting with those fan fiction writers!" he spat those three words like they were filth.
Suddenly a shriek of terror was heard from upstairs, and when they came up to Draco's room they found him rocking back and forth whimpering to himself on the floor, "No, no, no, no! Not true, not true, not true."
"What's the matter with you."
"Father, am I a Weasley?" Draco whimpered, sucking his thumb, rocking back and forth again.
At this question, Lucius's eye twitched and Snape gave him the "I told you so" look.. "Whatever gave you that idea?!" Lucius asked, disgusted. Draco pointed towards the laptop.
Crabbe and Goyle Sr. suddenly came in holding a teenage girl. "We've captured a fan fiction writer, sir Her name is, Cristina Potter."
"If he's whimpering over reading a story about being a Weasley, just wait until he reads about being paired up with Harry Potter!" Cristina said.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Draco shouted and fainted
"I think you better call in a shrink 'cause he is definitely gonna need one," Cristina said.
And they all lived happily ever after; the local phychiatrists soon found themselves swamped with people muttering something about evil fan fiction writers and some were even sent to the loony bin (coughDracocough). Who could ask for a better ending?
A/N: By the way Cristina Potter and Ginny B., if you haven't guessed, were the volunteers.
Chapter 9
More Evil Fan Fiction
Ginny B. laid down on her bed, in her room/prison. I wonder when my next victim - I mean visitor will come. Out of boredom she proceeded to sing the song that gets on everybody's' nerves loudly, "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes."
Ten more verses later . . .
Finally Mrs. Weasley shouted, "WILL YOU SHUT UP!" 'Another satisfied customer,' Ginny B. allowed herself an evil laugh as the ever so lovely Mrs. Black started shouting "complements" about how "wonderful" she thinks it is to have all those blood traitors, mudbloods, and half-breeds in her house.
Down the hall in Harry's Room . . .
"Lets read more of what those loony-toons wrote about us," Hermione said, returning to the evil that is fan fiction.net. One of the stories caught her eye. A Heart Renewed
____________________________________
Sadness was filling Harry at the thought of losing his godfather. Will Ron be able to help him? HP/CD RW/HP
_____________________________________
"What the heck, click on it," Ron said.
______________________________________
'I can't believe I killed him my, one true love,' tears fell from Harry's eyes as he thought of Cedric's murder. 'It is my fault.' He slumped against the wall of the astronomy tower.
_______________________________________
"What the?!" Harry's face did the perfect imitation of a fish out of water. "Haven't these people read the books? I AM STRAIT! Plus, I've only known the guy for 1 year!"
________________________________________
"Harry, is that you? Are you okay?" Ron asked as he sat down.
"I-I c-c-can't believe he's dead? My one true love," Harry broke into sobs.
"You have me, I've always had feelings for you, Harry. I love you," Ron said sitting down next to him, and they shared a passionate kiss.
_________________________________________
"WHAT THE (Bleep) (Bleep)!" Harry and Ron shouted.
Mrs. Weasley shouted, "Boys language!"
"Blimey, what are they going to pair us with next, the giant squid!"
"Uh, guys, you might want to take a look at this . . ."
Malfoy Manner . . .
"But, Father, this is muggle rubbish! Why are you making me do this!" Draco pouted.
"Because I said so, and it is important to know thy enemy," Lucius said sternly. "Now I'll only say this once, I want you to read some of those fan fictions and record what the story is about. Remember, this is a way to help our cause and the more you record the better."
"How exactly is reading muggle stories going to help the cause and why are you making me do this?!"
"Because the Dark Lord said so now get to work!" Lucius snapped. As he left the room he smirked. 'It's times like these that I appreciate being a father, having the son do all the work I don't want to do.'
'Alright so which one should I read first?' Draco clicked on the first story that caught his eye.
___________________
Hr/D Hermione changes over the summer do to her abusive father, little does she know she isn't the only one with scars. Will a certain Slytherin be able to save her?
_____________________
All throughout the story Draco started getting more and more irritated and one line finally made him snapped;
_____________________
"Oh Hermione, I've always loved you. I need help to cure my evil ways! My father not only beats me but -
______________________
Draco threw the laptop through the window. 'Number 1, my father never beats me, number 2, I enjoy being evil thank you very much, and number 3 there is no way I'll ever go out that mudblood!' Draco fumed.
"Accio laptop," Lucius said. "You will continue reading or else." He placed the laptop on the table.
"But Father, they paired me with a mudblood! A MUDBLOOD I TELL YOU!"
"Here's a little advice for you to take to heart and cherish for the rest of your life," Lucius said in a bittersweet low voice and then shouted. "DEAL WITH IT!" Then left the room.
Downstairs. . .
"Are you sure it is safe for Draco to be reading fan fictions? Those stories could potentially leave him scarred for life."
"My son, Severus, is a Malfoy, and is much stronger then you give him credit for! If I can survive reading a story pairing me and Weasley," he shivered, "then he can handle being paired up with Granger. And besides as far as I'm concerned, better him get scarred for life then me!"
"Whatever you say, Lucius," Snape took a sip of his tea.
"I still can't believe those blasted muggles would have the nerve to write stuff like this! This is evidence that everyone of those blasted muggles should be eliminated, starting with those fan fiction writers!" he spat those three words like they were filth.
Suddenly a shriek of terror was heard from upstairs, and when they came up to Draco's room they found him rocking back and forth whimpering to himself on the floor, "No, no, no, no! Not true, not true, not true."
"What's the matter with you."
"Father, am I a Weasley?" Draco whimpered, sucking his thumb, rocking back and forth again.
At this question, Lucius's eye twitched and Snape gave him the "I told you so" look.. "Whatever gave you that idea?!" Lucius asked, disgusted. Draco pointed towards the laptop.
Crabbe and Goyle Sr. suddenly came in holding a teenage girl. "We've captured a fan fiction writer, sir Her name is, Cristina Potter."
"If he's whimpering over reading a story about being a Weasley, just wait until he reads about being paired up with Harry Potter!" Cristina said.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Draco shouted and fainted
"I think you better call in a shrink 'cause he is definitely gonna need one," Cristina said.
And they all lived happily ever after; the local phychiatrists soon found themselves swamped with people muttering something about evil fan fiction writers and some were even sent to the loony bin (coughDracocough). Who could ask for a better ending?
A/N: By the way Cristina Potter and Ginny B., if you haven't guessed, were the volunteers.
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