Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Here Comes Trouble AKA: The Internet
Chapter 8
Order HQ . . .
"So, tell who are you?" Dumbledore said to the blond muggle.
"You can call me Ginny Baudelaire."
"Very well, Miss Baudelaire. Are you familiar with someone named J.K. Rowling?"
"Oh, yeah! She writes the Harry Potter series, and to think it turned out to be true."
"You fan fiction authors think you are so clever, don't you?" Snape's spoke quietly yet Ginny Baudelaire could hear him just fine. "You think it's funny, don't you?"
"What? Your breath?" Ginny B. said innocently.
Snape gave her the look he usually reserves for Harry and Neville, whenever his potion cauldron blows up. "You think you can go on writing lies about people behind their backs."
"What? Rita Skeeter does it all the time."
"That is not the point, if you are going to write fan fictions, you should write decent stories where Slytherin wins the house cup, and Harry and his little friends get expelled. . ."
"Severus!" Dumbledore said warningly.
"What? I was giving her some . . . Advice for her safety."
"Don't you mean threat? Are you aware of the amount of Harry Potter fanfics on the net? You can't blame me for all the fan fics, Snakey. There are probably over a million of them."
So the interrogation went on for about another half hour . . .
Now Snape considers himself to have a decent threshold, after all he needs all the patience he can get when he's teaching the Gryffindor/Slytherin potions classes (A/N: We all know how much those Slytherins and Gryffindors and just love each other, right?). What takes one of those class periods - especially with Longbottom Gryffindors and Potter in them in them - she managed in just a half an hour.
"Thank you for your cooperation," Dumbledore manage to say in his calmest voice possible in his frustrated state.
"Like, I really had a choice, old man!" Ginny Baudelaire grumbled rolling her eyes.
"Come along, Severus," Dumbledore said. Snape gave the girl one last death glare then left.
"Thank god we got out of there, another minute and I would've blasted her threw the wall! One more wisecrack from her then ugh!" Snape let our an exasperated growl.
"We did learn some important information, now I say we should pay Mrs. Rowling a visit."
Little did he know someone already beat him to her. . .
J.K. Rowling was sitting in her armchair reading her book peacefully when she heard the sound of apparition. She sighed, after all, she had been expecting them to come for a long time. "You might as well come out and take a seat, it took you long enough to find out!"
Cornelius and his flunkies they call aurors stepped out of their hiding places, "Well, aren't we the smart one? You thought you could keep this," he held up a Harry Potter book, "a secret forever."
"Actually, I expected your visit a long, long time ago, then again your ignorance never ceases to amaze me, especially of the muggle world." She took a sip of her tea as Cornelius's face turned a shade of purple that would put Mr. Dursley to shame.
"Erase her -" Cornelius started to say.
"You really think that erasing my memory would really solve things. For starters, the Harry Potter books are sold all over the world. Do you really have the time and money to erase the memories of every Harry Potter fans all over the world, plus the internet is just filled with Harry Potter related stuff, even if you burnt every Harry Potter book - fat chance by the way - but still-"
"Shut up! You've crossed the line with these works of fan fictions- " Cornelius stopped in mid sentence as Rowling starting laughing.
"You're here because of some works of fan fiction. I'm not responsible for what my fans post, as odd as their stories may be, I didn't write them. I can't believe that all this time, all this publicity didn't get your attention sooner, yet it took FAN FICTION to clue you in!" Cornelius and his flunkies glared at her. "Sorry, sorry, I just thought that was amusing. Now listen, wouldn't erasing my memory just make things worse?"
"What do you mean?"
"Wouldn't my fans get suspicious if the, not to toot my own horn, infamous J.K. Rowling, me, all of a sudden forgot everything involving Harry Potter, which had earned her millions?"
"Your point is?"
Rowling thumped her head against the table. 'Do I really have to explain everything? What a stupid question, of course I do! I'm dealing with Cornelius Fudge, an idiot with no common sense whatsoever! Out of all the wizards in the world, why did I get stuck dealing with this idiot! Let's see here, if I try to explain the obvious and the, if I'm lucky, I should get it through to him in a couple of hours. I can't wait that long! He's driving me mad and he's only been here a few minutes.' She sighed and spoke in a way you would if you were talking to a very slow child (which she might as well have been when speaking to this idiot). "I am a very rich lady, if you leave me alone I can, uh, donate, to your cause, if just "forget" what you've learned." She got out her checkbook and wrote out a check, and placed it on the table.
Now like any good corrupt little politician he would of course except the "donation", "Of course, with someone of your status I'll gladly accept your generous donation" (A random auror made a cough the sounded suspiciously like "bribe") "for my cause, Mrs. Rowling. Lets leave the poor lady alone, and head back, we're sorry for bothering you." The aurors merely rolled their eyes wondering how this corrupt idiot got into the position of Minister of Magic, and like good little flunkies, they disapparated back to the ministry with their leader.
As, Mr. Rowling walked into the living room, he sat down near his wife, "So the idiots have finally found us at last?"
Sighing J.K. Rowling said, "Indeed they have. It took them long enough. Dumbledore must be losing his touch, if the idiots from the ministry found us first, though something tells me that it'll take more then a bribe to get him to go away."
"Not to worry, luv, everything will turn out alright in the end."
"I hope so."
A/N: Hope the Cornelius Fudge scene turned out alright. It didn't turn out as planned.
Order HQ . . .
"So, tell who are you?" Dumbledore said to the blond muggle.
"You can call me Ginny Baudelaire."
"Very well, Miss Baudelaire. Are you familiar with someone named J.K. Rowling?"
"Oh, yeah! She writes the Harry Potter series, and to think it turned out to be true."
"You fan fiction authors think you are so clever, don't you?" Snape's spoke quietly yet Ginny Baudelaire could hear him just fine. "You think it's funny, don't you?"
"What? Your breath?" Ginny B. said innocently.
Snape gave her the look he usually reserves for Harry and Neville, whenever his potion cauldron blows up. "You think you can go on writing lies about people behind their backs."
"What? Rita Skeeter does it all the time."
"That is not the point, if you are going to write fan fictions, you should write decent stories where Slytherin wins the house cup, and Harry and his little friends get expelled. . ."
"Severus!" Dumbledore said warningly.
"What? I was giving her some . . . Advice for her safety."
"Don't you mean threat? Are you aware of the amount of Harry Potter fanfics on the net? You can't blame me for all the fan fics, Snakey. There are probably over a million of them."
So the interrogation went on for about another half hour . . .
Now Snape considers himself to have a decent threshold, after all he needs all the patience he can get when he's teaching the Gryffindor/Slytherin potions classes (A/N: We all know how much those Slytherins and Gryffindors and just love each other, right?). What takes one of those class periods - especially with Longbottom Gryffindors and Potter in them in them - she managed in just a half an hour.
"Thank you for your cooperation," Dumbledore manage to say in his calmest voice possible in his frustrated state.
"Like, I really had a choice, old man!" Ginny Baudelaire grumbled rolling her eyes.
"Come along, Severus," Dumbledore said. Snape gave the girl one last death glare then left.
"Thank god we got out of there, another minute and I would've blasted her threw the wall! One more wisecrack from her then ugh!" Snape let our an exasperated growl.
"We did learn some important information, now I say we should pay Mrs. Rowling a visit."
Little did he know someone already beat him to her. . .
J.K. Rowling was sitting in her armchair reading her book peacefully when she heard the sound of apparition. She sighed, after all, she had been expecting them to come for a long time. "You might as well come out and take a seat, it took you long enough to find out!"
Cornelius and his flunkies they call aurors stepped out of their hiding places, "Well, aren't we the smart one? You thought you could keep this," he held up a Harry Potter book, "a secret forever."
"Actually, I expected your visit a long, long time ago, then again your ignorance never ceases to amaze me, especially of the muggle world." She took a sip of her tea as Cornelius's face turned a shade of purple that would put Mr. Dursley to shame.
"Erase her -" Cornelius started to say.
"You really think that erasing my memory would really solve things. For starters, the Harry Potter books are sold all over the world. Do you really have the time and money to erase the memories of every Harry Potter fans all over the world, plus the internet is just filled with Harry Potter related stuff, even if you burnt every Harry Potter book - fat chance by the way - but still-"
"Shut up! You've crossed the line with these works of fan fictions- " Cornelius stopped in mid sentence as Rowling starting laughing.
"You're here because of some works of fan fiction. I'm not responsible for what my fans post, as odd as their stories may be, I didn't write them. I can't believe that all this time, all this publicity didn't get your attention sooner, yet it took FAN FICTION to clue you in!" Cornelius and his flunkies glared at her. "Sorry, sorry, I just thought that was amusing. Now listen, wouldn't erasing my memory just make things worse?"
"What do you mean?"
"Wouldn't my fans get suspicious if the, not to toot my own horn, infamous J.K. Rowling, me, all of a sudden forgot everything involving Harry Potter, which had earned her millions?"
"Your point is?"
Rowling thumped her head against the table. 'Do I really have to explain everything? What a stupid question, of course I do! I'm dealing with Cornelius Fudge, an idiot with no common sense whatsoever! Out of all the wizards in the world, why did I get stuck dealing with this idiot! Let's see here, if I try to explain the obvious and the, if I'm lucky, I should get it through to him in a couple of hours. I can't wait that long! He's driving me mad and he's only been here a few minutes.' She sighed and spoke in a way you would if you were talking to a very slow child (which she might as well have been when speaking to this idiot). "I am a very rich lady, if you leave me alone I can, uh, donate, to your cause, if just "forget" what you've learned." She got out her checkbook and wrote out a check, and placed it on the table.
Now like any good corrupt little politician he would of course except the "donation", "Of course, with someone of your status I'll gladly accept your generous donation" (A random auror made a cough the sounded suspiciously like "bribe") "for my cause, Mrs. Rowling. Lets leave the poor lady alone, and head back, we're sorry for bothering you." The aurors merely rolled their eyes wondering how this corrupt idiot got into the position of Minister of Magic, and like good little flunkies, they disapparated back to the ministry with their leader.
As, Mr. Rowling walked into the living room, he sat down near his wife, "So the idiots have finally found us at last?"
Sighing J.K. Rowling said, "Indeed they have. It took them long enough. Dumbledore must be losing his touch, if the idiots from the ministry found us first, though something tells me that it'll take more then a bribe to get him to go away."
"Not to worry, luv, everything will turn out alright in the end."
"I hope so."
A/N: Hope the Cornelius Fudge scene turned out alright. It didn't turn out as planned.
Sign up to rate and review this story