- Quite moving. However, one problem with song-fics is that the author tends to allow the song, or poem in this case, to carry too much of the story. More of your original writing would have been nice. What you do have is excellent, with just a few grammatical errors, but fleshing it out would show more of you. Using songs or poems should be like make-up: enhancing, yet not obvious. And, just for copyright's sake, you shoule mentions the author of the works you quote, as well as the source. It may keep you out of trouble. Thank you for sharing.
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