FicWad

Ok - I first wrote this back in January 2011 and finished it August 2011. I first posted it, on deviantART, and it got a relatively good response on there, so I thought I'd post it here and see if it would get any response. I hope you enjoy it. It's about 31 Chapters in total and I will post a chapter every other day

Frank's POV
I had been lying awake in bed for about two hours now after being woken up by a stupid nightmare. At the time, it scared the shit out of me but now I just feel so stupid for being so scared. I pulled my headphones out and glanced at the clock to see it was coming up to seven o'clock, meaning mum will be up and will any minute be shouting from the bottom of the stairs, telling me to get up and ready for school. God school seemed worse than the nightmare. I was the 'emo freak' who liked all the wrong music, dressed completely wrong, wore guy liner and should go cut my wrists and die. I would get beaten by jocks if I was by myself and then most of the time have abuse hurled in my direction. They took more advantage at knowing that I was in actual fact gay. The school was full of fucking homophobes. This time last year, I was in a state, but I have gotten better, and the last time I cut was about three months ago, which I think was pretty good. My mum however was adamant that I should go and talk to a 'quack' about my nightmares and about myself. I didn't see a point, when really I had my music and Pansy, my guitar that kept me going, kept me on the straight and narrow.

"FRANK! TIME TO GET UP!" ah the voice of my mother, right on cue as normal. I lived at home with my mum. My mum and dad had split when I was very young. I don't remember much of it, but from what my mum has told me, he sounded like a right pig; drinking most nights, coming home drunk, try and knock my mum about both sexually and abusively and then would bugger off for a few days and not come back. If you ask me, she was brave to pluck up the courage to end her nightmare.

"Ok mom!" I called back, whether she heard or not was a different matter. I sat up in bed and glanced around my room. God it was a mess, but it was how I liked it; clothes more unless all over the floor, my schoolbag kicked to one side with half the contents spilled out onto the floor. My walls were covered in posters of my favourite music bands. I made this room my own and my mum hardly ever came in here, which was bliss as I felt it was being invaded if she even attempt to come in and tidy. I finally dragged my body out of bed and into the bathroom to stare into the mirror. My guy liner was still linger, smudge under my eyes from yesterday. My eyes were bloodshot but I didn't feel one bit tired. I turned the tap on and splashed cold water on my face, before drying with a towel. My hair was a mess as per-usual. I retreated back to my room, where I slipped out of my pyjama's and into a pair of black skinny jeans, a Misfits t-shirt and Black Flag hoodie. I grabbed my guy liner and reapplied it and attempted to tame my hair as best as I could before going downstairs

Mum was stood with her back to me as I walked over
"Morning Frankie," she said, her voice sweet, while she concentrated on breakfast
"Morning," I mumbled. I made myself a coffee and sat down as mum turned and placed a plate of toast in front of me. I was a fussy eater and a vegetarian, so my breakfast was simple. She poured herself a coffee before walking out of the kitchen, leaving me to sit thought, while I had my breakfast. I had biology first, which wasn't too bad, followed by maths, then geography, and in the afternoon, I had English, which I might add I nine times out of ten fall asleep in. Art was next followed by PE. I hated sports, it sucked, it really did. I really was the academic type and didn't want to be in school. The only subject I ever enjoyed was music, as I was able to sit and do my own thing, while the teacher made the class practice work. The teacher was cool, so happily sat in a room and played away for the hour.

I finished my toast and gulped down my coffee before making a dash upstairs to grab my bag. I shoved the books back inside and picked it up and grabbed my converses and ran down the stairs. I perched on the second to last step to put my converses on
"Have a good day!" mum called as I opened the front door
"Bye mum." I shut the door and walked out into the street. A mist hung over the street. It was October and the leaves on the trees had started to change colours and litter the pavements. I always stared down at my feet as I walked to school and always had my music playing, to drown out anyone that attempt to talk to me or hurl abuse at me. My thoughts drifted to what we might be doing in biology, until I felt an almighty pull on back, almost causing me to topple over.

"Holy crap Holly!" I instantly recognised the giggling. It was Holly, about the only friend who cared about me and the one person I could really talk to when I was feeling down and on the verge of cutting. I've known her for a year and she was in the year below me at school. She found me, on her first day at the school, when I was in a very bad state

FLASHBACK - One Year Ago

It was a Monday afternoon and it was a cool afternoon with a gentle breeze blowing. At the back of the school, was the old bike sheds; an area people left alone, which is why I liked it. I sat leaning against the old bike sheds, with my legs up against my chest and my arms wrapped around them tightly and my chin perched on top of my knees. I was trembling a little – not because of the cool breeze blowing, but because of the new bruising that was appearing on my stomach, chest and back. A group of jocks jumped me coming out of the toilets. They forced me back inside, where they beat and kicked me, leaving me there, crying out in pain. It took me a while to move again. My guy liner was smudge down my face and my wrists stung from where I had cut. Cutting was the only way that would take me away from all of my pain. The sudden rush as the blood slowly seeped out of the cuts and down my wrists. I managed to get to the old bike sheds after washing my wrists clean. My mind was buzzing though. I hated the fact that I was beaten; it hurt me physically, emotionally and mentally. I felt helpless and weak. Cutting wasn't enough, as it would only last for a short while and now I could feel the pain all coming back again. My eyes stung as they filled with tears again. I hated the jocks, I hated the cheerleaders. In all I hated everyone; everyone that surrounded me at school. Not even my mum could do anything about it. I didn't tell her everything. One thought crashed into my mind and stayed there. It would be quick. A few simple cuts to ensure that I never woke up again. A rush flooded my body at the thought. It made me feel sick, and made me want to cry even more, but it seemed so simple. I had nothing here anymore; I wasn't meant for school or life.

I stumbled out of my thoughts at the sound of someone coughing. I glanced up, thinking it was going to be a jock, ready to take another swing at me. But to my surprise it wasn't. A girl, who was shorter than me, stood a few feet away. She had layered, berry red hair, which was pretty much a mess, with her fringe falling to the left hand side of her face. Her green eyes, lined with black eye-liner stood out against her pale complexion. She was wearing black skinnies, red converses, a Simple Plan t-shirt and a Green Day hoodie. Her bag was slung over her shoulder. I've never seen her before; mind you I hardly paid attention to anyone in the school
"Erm . . . are you, uh . . . o-ok?" she asked in a very quiet tone. I felt like being sarcastic towards her, but a part of me told me not to. I didn't want to speak. My throat was dry and tense and the very thought of speaking made me tense more; scared that I might cry in front of her. That would be embarrassing. She stared at me for a second and I didn't answer

"Sorry, stupid question." Her cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment, "I'm Holly by the way, I'm new here." I nodded at her. New kids tended to avoid me at all cost, not wanting anything to do with me, they'd head a warning from everyone in the school, say that I was the freak that cut and they avoided me. Obviously she hadn't got the message yet
"I'm Frank," I whispered. She nodded her head
"Nice to meet you, do you mind if I sit with you?" A little shocked to be asked this, I shuffled over and kicked my bag out of the way so she could come and sit down. I let my mind wonder, oblivious to her rummaging around in her bag
"Skittle?" I looked round at her, to see her holding a bag of skittles in front of me. I accepted her offer and took a few and munched away on them, letting the fruity goodness fill my taste buds. I knew she was staring at me, except I didn't want to look round at her

"You look like something is bothering you." I looked round slowly. She still held out the bag of skittles offering them for me to take. I had no idea who she was, but before I knew it, I was telling her everything. I had a sudden feeling of trust towards her, yet I hardly knew her, I only knew her name, possibly the music she likes and the fact that she likes skittles. I told her everything, about my life, my parents' divorce when I was young, being bullied, cutting and my secret
"I'm gay, which is the main reason why I get hurt." I wiped away the tears from my face. I looked round at her and she just stared into my face. Great, another homophobe
"Go on, say it, I'm a fucking fag for liking guys, I don't care, I get it all the time, I'm the freaking who fucking cuts, the freak that everyone wishes would die," I said angrily. She did not move, and simply smiled
"It doesn't phase me, I'm bi, so I can't talk, besides, homophobia is gay." I raised an eyebrow at her, not believing what I was hearing
"I like you, you're weird, but I like weird, weird is good, so much better than being cool, or a jock who beats others for pleasure, or a cheerleader who flashes her ass to get laid." I chuckled at her comment and she smiled
"That's better to see you smile Frank." I smiled again at her as she offered the skittles again
"You've told me about yourself, so it's only fair I tell you about myself." It seemed like hours that we were sat there, talking, getting to know one another, laughing at the same things and even liking the same things. She too was shouted at for the way she was, but she didn't care

END OF FLASHBACK

We'd been good friends ever since and told one another everything and helped one another when it was most needed. But at times, she did know how to annoy me
"Sorry, I could resist it," she said giggling still. I flashed her a smile
"So, how are you this fine morning." I sensed a little sarcasm in her tone as we walked to school
"Meh, it's a school day, meaning a day of abuse being hurled our way, a day full of shit lessons, so not brilliant really. You?"
"Same here! But it could be an interesting day." I looked round at her to see her smiling. Uh-oh, I know that smile. That cheeky one, meant that something had happened or she was up to something
"What's with the goofy grin?" She hit me playful on the arm
"Two new students start today!"
"How do you know that?"
"One is going to be in my year, and I thought you knew as the other is going to be in your year?" Typical, something was happening and I didn't even know about it, either that or I tuned out of my tutor talking to the class and didn't catch it
"Uh, you should know me, I'm never on this planet." Holly burst out laughing as we reached the gates into school and walked through
"Well there is a new kid in your class, I'm kind of excited about it," she said as she began to play with one of her sleeves
"Oh course, another most likely homophobe to beat the shit out of me, just when I didn't get enough of it already." Holly shot me a look
"You are such a pessimist! Be optimistic for once!"
"I know, but that's how it always seems," I said sighing
"Come on, I'll meet up with you at lunch today. What you got first?" she asked
"Biology, shouldn't be too bad as long as we're not dissecting anything." I stood for human rights; I hated the idea of dissecting animals, even when they're dead. It's not right, it really isn't
"What about you?" I asked just as the bell sounded
"Maths," she mumbled
"Try not to get detention this time," I said laughing a little
"Try not to, I'll talk to you later." I watched her walk off towards maths, while I turned and walked to the science labs for biology. I began to think about the new kid; whether it was going to be a guy or a girl and whether they will be another homophobe.

*******

That is the first chapter, and you get an insight of what Frank is like and meet his best friend Holly. Holly is a made up character, who has the mine and my best mates personalities, blended into one. The first couple of chapters, are basically introducing the characters. Like I said, I will post a chapter every other day. I hope people do like it! if not I will remove it