Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > They said we were crazy beautiful...
Frank's Pov.
My life was pretty fucked up and sometimes I didnt feel like I wanted to be around anymore and I did try to take my life twice and both times I was saved and for what so I could suffer even more in this hell hole no thanks. My life wasnt always like this when my mother was with my father life was heaven for me, my father was everything anybody would ever want in a father, he was loving and giving and understanding. He was always there for me for everything I did, he was always so proud of me and encourged me to become anything I wanted and I loved that. The day my father left was the day I stopped caring about anything and anybody and the day my mother brought that monster into our lives was was the day I wanted to kill myself. The first time I went to park after dark and I popped a whole bottle of vicodin and chugged it down with some vodka some guy found me and called the cops and I was revived. The second time was the worst.
Flashback.
I sat in the dark in my room twisting the swithblade inbetween my fingers taking deep breaths as I heard my mother and that asshole argueing in there bedroom about me again. He never liked me from day one, sense the first time he saw me he made me feel like shit and he would humilate me and beat the shit out of me in front of everyone especially his friends cause they cheered him on.
"you honestly believe that little fag is gonna amount to anything hes a loser like his father and will end up on the streets. The little coke head deserves what he gets and you know it Diane" I heard him laugh.
"Jim come on I know hes not the best son but I need him you know we do thats how we get money and if you keep hitting him his father is gonna take him and we'll have nothing." as soon I heard those awful words leave my mother's mouth I broke down and just started crying. I had heard the one person who I thought loved me put me down. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I pressed the blade down onto my skin feeling it cut thru. I looked down as I sliced and I just stared at the blood as it hit floor. I leaned my head back a little hissing as I cut thru my second wrist it stung a little but it wasnt as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I dropped the blade next to me and scooted away from the wall laying on my back and just stared up at the ceiling trying to remember the good old times with my dad. I was feeling really weak and I smiled cause I knew that it was only a matter of seconds before I would be gone from this disgusting world. I was enjoying it when I heard banging on my door and I tried to ignore it but Jim had kicked the door down.
"OH MY GOD JIM WHAT DID HE DO WHAT DID HE DO MAKE IT STOP" I heard my mom scream as I felt Jim pull me up and sit me up against the wall.
"WHAT DID YOU DO YOU LITTLE SHIT" He yelled in my face as he kicked me and I slumped over still smiling as he panicked.
"I..did it to ..get...away..from you two" I whispered looking up at my mom as she cried her fake tears.
"STOP STARING AT HIM AND CALL 911 YOU IDIOT" Jim said pushing her out of the room and she practically ran.
"You think your gonna get away with this you bastard I dont think so" He said as he grabbed one of my shirts and ripped it apart and started to tie them around my wrists.
"do you really think its gonna be this easy to get away from us huh" he crotched down in front of me and smirked.
"I'm not gonna give up the money your father sends us, you are way to valuable to give up, think about it if I wanted to kill you I would have done it already"
I stared at him as he laughed and I just wanted die. I couldnt believe what they were capable of and I looked over to my dressor and I just stared at the picture of dad wishing he was here.
"oh how cute thinking about your daddy" Jim laughed.
"your father hates you" he leaned foward whispereing. I shook my head taking a deep breath.
"thats not true" I glared up staring at him and he just continued to laughed.
"oh its true your here arn't here your dad abandoned you. when was the last time he called you or came to see you" he smiled looking right at me and he grabbed my wrists.
"your pathetic and no one in life is gonna be here for you so enjoy what you have here now because when your of age your out and your daddy isnt gonna take you in so how about you do us all a favor and hold off the suicide attempts until after your out of our house you piece of shit" he said letting go as soon as we heard the Sirens outside of the house.
Agian they saved me, except this time the cops found out what was going on and they put me in the states custody until my dad took me to live with him but I couldnt stay not with the way I saw him now. He had remarried and had two kids and he gave them everything and I didnt feel the same anymore his wife hated me his kids hated me and I always got blamed for everything so I took off on him I took all the money he had in the house and I split. I left Jersery and I made my way to California and thats were I met Gerard and Mikey. They were awesome to me and they took me in and they gave me a room to stay in. There were times when I still felt depressed and suicide had crossed my mind time and time again and one night I was out with the guys and we ended up at house party and thats were I saw her for the first time. I remember it clearly casue she stood out to me in the most beautiful way and I couldnt take my eyes off of her I wanted to approach her until Gerard told me who she was dating and he warned me never to cross any of the guys that lived in that house but I refused to give up that easily. Towards the end the only reason why I came to play at this house was to see her, but I always saw her at her worst. I saw the way he treated her how hit her how she was always high or drunk or both but I knew he did that to keep her down and make her stay with him no matter how bad it got he had made her an addict.
Oct. 31st.
We were playing a show at Zacky's and Matt's house again I couldn't wait to see her again. As soon as we got there we played and I just stared at here the whole time. She looked so beautiful and when she turned to look at me I got really nervous but not a bad nervous good nervous. I could tell that something wasnt right with her tonight so kept my eyes on her as we played and I noticed that they started argueing and I lost it when I saw him shove her face into some coke and she got up hitting him and she took off running as she cried. This song felt like it was going on forever and I just wanted it to be over so I could go and check on her, we were a few notes away from finishing when I looked up and Zacky was gone I panicked and once we finished I practically threw my guitar down and ran upstairs looking around for her but I couldnt find her. I was making my way thru the kitchen when I heard someone screaming and I knew it was her. I looked towards the front door when I heard I heard banging and I ignored until I heard it break down and all the cops swarmed in making every scatter.
"shit" I muttered as I pushed my way threw the running crowd towards the hallway trying to figure out where she was it didnt take long cause I saw Zacky walking out of the hallway bathroom zipping up his pants smirking, I swallowed hard clutching my fist trying to hold in what I really wanted to do to him cause I knew exactly what he had done to her in there but I need to get to her first.
"You stop right there" I heard a cop yell and point at Zacky and I stopped hiding behind the divider wall as the cops chased him out the back door,as soon as they were out of sight I ran into the bathroom and I saw her lying on the floor her face was covered in blood.
"oh my god" I whispered kneeling beside her trying to figure out where the blood was coming from. I looked around and I saw the cut on her forehead and I grabbed a towel and pressed it onto her cut trying to stop the bleeding. I pulled her more into my arms and I saw her open up her eyes slightly and I sighed out of relief.
"your gonna be alright I promise no one is ever gonna hurt you again" I whispered stroking her cheek softly.
"step away from her son and put your hands behind your head." I looked up and there were three officers standing in the doorway pointing there guns at me.
"she's hurt you have to help her please" I pleaded as they pulled me away from her.
"okay just put your hands behind your head and get up slowly" one of them said again and I nodded putting my hands behind my head and getting up. As soon as I was up they handcuffed me and the other two officers were leaning down looking at her checking to see if she was alive.
"please get her some help" I said agian and they just ignored me and escorted me out and sat me outside on the curve. I looked around waiting for someone to get here. I was getting anxious until I heard the ambulance sirens, I got up and the officer pushed me back down onto the curve hard.
"Stay there and dont you dare move" he said glaring down at me and I just ignored him and watched as the paramedics went in quickly and came out with her and loaded her into the ambulance and left. I prayed asking god to watch over as the ambulence drove away. After all the commotion died down me and everyone else including Zacky and Matt were taking in and processed. Matt and Zacky were put in a different section and I was relased the next day. As soon as I was out I went to the hospital and tried to see her but they wouldn't let me casue she was being guarded by an officer. Days had passed I finally heard what had happened to her, she had been sent to mental slash rehab facility and I knew what I had to do to keep her safe, I signed myself in just so I could be with her. She didn't like me very much at first but I wasnt willing to let her go and when she finally gave me a shot I ruined by breaking the rules and lieing to her about why I was in her in the first place.
I woke up feeling really good and I was glad she knew that I loved her. I got out of bed and I as I was getting dressed there was a knock on my door. I opened it and it was that bitch nurse and some orderlies.
"what do you guys want" I said walking away from the door and slipping on my shirt.
"well Mr. Iero were here to inform that you are being released from our facility and these gentlemen are her to escort you off our grounds" she smiled.
"for what" I questioned looking at all of them as the orderlies grabbed my stuff and packed it all up.
"hey dont touch my shit" I said trying to grab my suitcase away from them but they just grabbed me and and practically started dragging me out of the building and out to the front were I saw a taxi waiting.
"you cant do this I havent done anything wrong" I spat.
"but you have Mr.Iero you are self admitted patient and you have no rights to be taking advantage of our state wards that is Ellie Sinclaire is a ward of the state and romances here are forbidden between patients. So I suggest you leave calmly and avoid any trouble" she smirked again and walked away. I looked up at the building and I knew Ellie was already waiting for me and it broke heart knowing that they had probably already told her.
"Ill come back" I whispered I was about to step into the cab when I heard her.
"FRANK" I turned around and there she was I slammed the cab door closed and ran towards her.
"Ellie" I screamed reaching for her and pulling her into my arms and I started crying.
"you cant go YOU CANT GO!!!"She screamed as she tightened her grip on me.
"I'm sorry I'm so sorry I cant stay Ellie there throwing me out for breaking the rules" I said looking down at her as she cried.
"what rules" she said looking around at everyone as they encircled us.
"for being with you I dont want to leave you I.." But I was cut off when I saw an orderly pull her away from me and when she tried to to grabbed me again they pulled her harder and pinned her arms behind her back.
"DONT FUCKING TOUCH HER LIKE THAT" I yelled pushing one orderly away but another one grabbed me pulling me farther away from her.
"NOOOO! FRANK DONT LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY PLEASE DONT" she cried out reaching for me.
"ELLIE I WONT LEAVE YOU I WONT I PROMISE YOU ILL COME BACK FOR YOU I LOVE YOU" he I as they dragged me towards the cab they got me, they opened the door and tried shoving me in but I pulled back when I heard her yell something I wanted to hear.
"I LOVE YOU TO FRANK I LOVE YOU" she screamed out as the orderly carried her back to into the facility. I tried one last time to run to her but they shoved me into the car and the cab took off I looked out the back window and my last glance of her was the orderly pushing her into the large doors.
My life was pretty fucked up and sometimes I didnt feel like I wanted to be around anymore and I did try to take my life twice and both times I was saved and for what so I could suffer even more in this hell hole no thanks. My life wasnt always like this when my mother was with my father life was heaven for me, my father was everything anybody would ever want in a father, he was loving and giving and understanding. He was always there for me for everything I did, he was always so proud of me and encourged me to become anything I wanted and I loved that. The day my father left was the day I stopped caring about anything and anybody and the day my mother brought that monster into our lives was was the day I wanted to kill myself. The first time I went to park after dark and I popped a whole bottle of vicodin and chugged it down with some vodka some guy found me and called the cops and I was revived. The second time was the worst.
Flashback.
I sat in the dark in my room twisting the swithblade inbetween my fingers taking deep breaths as I heard my mother and that asshole argueing in there bedroom about me again. He never liked me from day one, sense the first time he saw me he made me feel like shit and he would humilate me and beat the shit out of me in front of everyone especially his friends cause they cheered him on.
"you honestly believe that little fag is gonna amount to anything hes a loser like his father and will end up on the streets. The little coke head deserves what he gets and you know it Diane" I heard him laugh.
"Jim come on I know hes not the best son but I need him you know we do thats how we get money and if you keep hitting him his father is gonna take him and we'll have nothing." as soon I heard those awful words leave my mother's mouth I broke down and just started crying. I had heard the one person who I thought loved me put me down. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I pressed the blade down onto my skin feeling it cut thru. I looked down as I sliced and I just stared at the blood as it hit floor. I leaned my head back a little hissing as I cut thru my second wrist it stung a little but it wasnt as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I dropped the blade next to me and scooted away from the wall laying on my back and just stared up at the ceiling trying to remember the good old times with my dad. I was feeling really weak and I smiled cause I knew that it was only a matter of seconds before I would be gone from this disgusting world. I was enjoying it when I heard banging on my door and I tried to ignore it but Jim had kicked the door down.
"OH MY GOD JIM WHAT DID HE DO WHAT DID HE DO MAKE IT STOP" I heard my mom scream as I felt Jim pull me up and sit me up against the wall.
"WHAT DID YOU DO YOU LITTLE SHIT" He yelled in my face as he kicked me and I slumped over still smiling as he panicked.
"I..did it to ..get...away..from you two" I whispered looking up at my mom as she cried her fake tears.
"STOP STARING AT HIM AND CALL 911 YOU IDIOT" Jim said pushing her out of the room and she practically ran.
"You think your gonna get away with this you bastard I dont think so" He said as he grabbed one of my shirts and ripped it apart and started to tie them around my wrists.
"do you really think its gonna be this easy to get away from us huh" he crotched down in front of me and smirked.
"I'm not gonna give up the money your father sends us, you are way to valuable to give up, think about it if I wanted to kill you I would have done it already"
I stared at him as he laughed and I just wanted die. I couldnt believe what they were capable of and I looked over to my dressor and I just stared at the picture of dad wishing he was here.
"oh how cute thinking about your daddy" Jim laughed.
"your father hates you" he leaned foward whispereing. I shook my head taking a deep breath.
"thats not true" I glared up staring at him and he just continued to laughed.
"oh its true your here arn't here your dad abandoned you. when was the last time he called you or came to see you" he smiled looking right at me and he grabbed my wrists.
"your pathetic and no one in life is gonna be here for you so enjoy what you have here now because when your of age your out and your daddy isnt gonna take you in so how about you do us all a favor and hold off the suicide attempts until after your out of our house you piece of shit" he said letting go as soon as we heard the Sirens outside of the house.
Agian they saved me, except this time the cops found out what was going on and they put me in the states custody until my dad took me to live with him but I couldnt stay not with the way I saw him now. He had remarried and had two kids and he gave them everything and I didnt feel the same anymore his wife hated me his kids hated me and I always got blamed for everything so I took off on him I took all the money he had in the house and I split. I left Jersery and I made my way to California and thats were I met Gerard and Mikey. They were awesome to me and they took me in and they gave me a room to stay in. There were times when I still felt depressed and suicide had crossed my mind time and time again and one night I was out with the guys and we ended up at house party and thats were I saw her for the first time. I remember it clearly casue she stood out to me in the most beautiful way and I couldnt take my eyes off of her I wanted to approach her until Gerard told me who she was dating and he warned me never to cross any of the guys that lived in that house but I refused to give up that easily. Towards the end the only reason why I came to play at this house was to see her, but I always saw her at her worst. I saw the way he treated her how hit her how she was always high or drunk or both but I knew he did that to keep her down and make her stay with him no matter how bad it got he had made her an addict.
Oct. 31st.
We were playing a show at Zacky's and Matt's house again I couldn't wait to see her again. As soon as we got there we played and I just stared at here the whole time. She looked so beautiful and when she turned to look at me I got really nervous but not a bad nervous good nervous. I could tell that something wasnt right with her tonight so kept my eyes on her as we played and I noticed that they started argueing and I lost it when I saw him shove her face into some coke and she got up hitting him and she took off running as she cried. This song felt like it was going on forever and I just wanted it to be over so I could go and check on her, we were a few notes away from finishing when I looked up and Zacky was gone I panicked and once we finished I practically threw my guitar down and ran upstairs looking around for her but I couldnt find her. I was making my way thru the kitchen when I heard someone screaming and I knew it was her. I looked towards the front door when I heard I heard banging and I ignored until I heard it break down and all the cops swarmed in making every scatter.
"shit" I muttered as I pushed my way threw the running crowd towards the hallway trying to figure out where she was it didnt take long cause I saw Zacky walking out of the hallway bathroom zipping up his pants smirking, I swallowed hard clutching my fist trying to hold in what I really wanted to do to him cause I knew exactly what he had done to her in there but I need to get to her first.
"You stop right there" I heard a cop yell and point at Zacky and I stopped hiding behind the divider wall as the cops chased him out the back door,as soon as they were out of sight I ran into the bathroom and I saw her lying on the floor her face was covered in blood.
"oh my god" I whispered kneeling beside her trying to figure out where the blood was coming from. I looked around and I saw the cut on her forehead and I grabbed a towel and pressed it onto her cut trying to stop the bleeding. I pulled her more into my arms and I saw her open up her eyes slightly and I sighed out of relief.
"your gonna be alright I promise no one is ever gonna hurt you again" I whispered stroking her cheek softly.
"step away from her son and put your hands behind your head." I looked up and there were three officers standing in the doorway pointing there guns at me.
"she's hurt you have to help her please" I pleaded as they pulled me away from her.
"okay just put your hands behind your head and get up slowly" one of them said again and I nodded putting my hands behind my head and getting up. As soon as I was up they handcuffed me and the other two officers were leaning down looking at her checking to see if she was alive.
"please get her some help" I said agian and they just ignored me and escorted me out and sat me outside on the curve. I looked around waiting for someone to get here. I was getting anxious until I heard the ambulance sirens, I got up and the officer pushed me back down onto the curve hard.
"Stay there and dont you dare move" he said glaring down at me and I just ignored him and watched as the paramedics went in quickly and came out with her and loaded her into the ambulance and left. I prayed asking god to watch over as the ambulence drove away. After all the commotion died down me and everyone else including Zacky and Matt were taking in and processed. Matt and Zacky were put in a different section and I was relased the next day. As soon as I was out I went to the hospital and tried to see her but they wouldn't let me casue she was being guarded by an officer. Days had passed I finally heard what had happened to her, she had been sent to mental slash rehab facility and I knew what I had to do to keep her safe, I signed myself in just so I could be with her. She didn't like me very much at first but I wasnt willing to let her go and when she finally gave me a shot I ruined by breaking the rules and lieing to her about why I was in her in the first place.
I woke up feeling really good and I was glad she knew that I loved her. I got out of bed and I as I was getting dressed there was a knock on my door. I opened it and it was that bitch nurse and some orderlies.
"what do you guys want" I said walking away from the door and slipping on my shirt.
"well Mr. Iero were here to inform that you are being released from our facility and these gentlemen are her to escort you off our grounds" she smiled.
"for what" I questioned looking at all of them as the orderlies grabbed my stuff and packed it all up.
"hey dont touch my shit" I said trying to grab my suitcase away from them but they just grabbed me and and practically started dragging me out of the building and out to the front were I saw a taxi waiting.
"you cant do this I havent done anything wrong" I spat.
"but you have Mr.Iero you are self admitted patient and you have no rights to be taking advantage of our state wards that is Ellie Sinclaire is a ward of the state and romances here are forbidden between patients. So I suggest you leave calmly and avoid any trouble" she smirked again and walked away. I looked up at the building and I knew Ellie was already waiting for me and it broke heart knowing that they had probably already told her.
"Ill come back" I whispered I was about to step into the cab when I heard her.
"FRANK" I turned around and there she was I slammed the cab door closed and ran towards her.
"Ellie" I screamed reaching for her and pulling her into my arms and I started crying.
"you cant go YOU CANT GO!!!"She screamed as she tightened her grip on me.
"I'm sorry I'm so sorry I cant stay Ellie there throwing me out for breaking the rules" I said looking down at her as she cried.
"what rules" she said looking around at everyone as they encircled us.
"for being with you I dont want to leave you I.." But I was cut off when I saw an orderly pull her away from me and when she tried to to grabbed me again they pulled her harder and pinned her arms behind her back.
"DONT FUCKING TOUCH HER LIKE THAT" I yelled pushing one orderly away but another one grabbed me pulling me farther away from her.
"NOOOO! FRANK DONT LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY PLEASE DONT" she cried out reaching for me.
"ELLIE I WONT LEAVE YOU I WONT I PROMISE YOU ILL COME BACK FOR YOU I LOVE YOU" he I as they dragged me towards the cab they got me, they opened the door and tried shoving me in but I pulled back when I heard her yell something I wanted to hear.
"I LOVE YOU TO FRANK I LOVE YOU" she screamed out as the orderly carried her back to into the facility. I tried one last time to run to her but they shoved me into the car and the cab took off I looked out the back window and my last glance of her was the orderly pushing her into the large doors.
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