Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Come, Break Me Down

Into The Night, Desperate And Broken

by DeafeningSilence 0 reviews

“That’s some good work you guys did there.” I shook in surprise as his warm breath ghosted over my neck. Without turning around, I knew who it was. It didn’t take a genius to guess.

Category: 30 Seconds to Mars - Rating: R - Genres: Angst - Published: 2012-09-24 - Updated: 2012-09-24 - 1260 words

I stood to the left side of the stage, pride was constantly being overrun by nervousness as I looked on at My Chemical Romance’s performance, aided by my technical help. Every time I thought something might go wrong, I felt the knots in my stomach tighten again, only to find out it was completely unnecessary, because it all ran smoothly. And then pride had it’s chance to take over again.
I had my arms folded across my chest as I looked on, oblivious to the man standing directly behind me.
“That’s some good work you guys did there.” I shook in surprise as his warm breath ghosted over my neck. Without turning around, I knew who it was. It didn’t take a genius to guess.
“Thanks...” I didn’t turn around, I really didn’t want to.. To be met with his face... those eyes... who knows what I’d end up agreeing to.
I heard his low, almost sinister, chuckle radiate through his body against my back, “You’re a tad blunt, aren’t you? I just complimented your handiwork. At least turn around and thank me properly.” I cold sense the cocky smirk on his lips before I turned around, which only confirmed my assumptions when I eventually did.
There he stood; arms folded across his impressively toned chest, his smirk that just screamed ‘ego’, his eyes... Oh those eyes...
He cleared his throat, enabling me to think again, only to find that he was waiting expectantly for me, eyebrow raised.
I sighed, feeling somehow defeated, “Thank you, Jared.”
He eased his arms down to his side and smiled, “Better. It is good though, honestly.”
I shrugged, “Well, it was mainly them. I just checked it all worked fine.”
He sighed frustratedly, “Please. Just take a fucking compliment.” I frowned and reminded myself, once again, just how much I hated him.
“Take a fucking chill pill, Jared. If you’re going to be like that, then just leave me alone.” With that, I turned back towards the stage, once again admiring the band.
But then I felt his hands rest on my hips, and his head on my shoulder, “Oh, I will leave you alone for now, sweetheart. I have to get ready to go on stage. But while I’m up there, I strongly suggest that you wait for me by my bus. I’ll be expecting to see you there after we’re finished playing.”
He removed his hands and took a step backwards, allowing me to turn around. My face was flushed and I wasn’t sure of what to say.
“You will be there. There’s no way you’d let me down, now, is there?” I left him with no response and he chuckled, brushing my chin with his fingers. And then he left me. Standing there with my mouth ajar and nothing to say. Would I go to him? I like to think I had more self respect than that...
But I wanted to know what would happen if I did go to him. I mean, I know what would happen, but I was intrigued. I wanted to know exactly how it would go.
Fuck... Now, was it too late to say that this may no longer be so professional anymore? What is it with that guy? Why does he have to be so... overpowering? And without even so much as trying. I kept asking myself if I was really going to go. Would I have the guts? More accurately, would I have the guts not to go? I sighed and put my head in my hands, rubbing my temples. Fuck this. We all know I’m going. Who would dare not to? Who wouldn’t want to?
God, all these questions are making my brain ache.
I decided I would just calm myself down and watch the rest of My Chemical Romance’s set. I looked through my fingers to find that they were already setting up for 30 Seconds to Mars. And I should really be helping. Jesus... How long did I zone out for?
“Ugh.” I moved towards one of the laptops in the far corner of the stage and did my thing. Albeit, reluctantly.

I didn’t stay backstage to watch 30 Seconds to Mars’s set. Guess where I was instead. I was sat, on my own, on a low brick wall in the lot where buses were parked. I was waiting by one in particular, no prizes for guessing which.
Every now and then a beefy guy would come over and yell at me for being there. I would merely show him my pass and give him my best ‘Bitch, please.’ look. That generally did the job.
I was waiting for a long time in the cold British night. I’d sunken down to the floor against the brick wall in attempt to keep myself warm. For a long while, the most I’d seen was a bird or two. Until I saw a pair of trainer-clad feet.
“You look a little cold there.” I looked up from the enclosure of my hoodie and looked into the eyes of the man I’d been waiting for, my breath catching in my throat.
“Yeah, well, when you’re waiting outside for two hours in the freezing cold night, that tends to happen.”
He smiled and took my hand, pulling me to my feet, “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.” He pointed behind him towards the main stage, “Bit busy, you see.”
I nodded and looked at my hands in the embarrassment that I had actually gone to him. You may wonder, why had I gone after him? Well, unfortunately, I’d come up with the answer for that while I was waiting for him. I was desperate. For what? I don’t really know... I was well aware that I wouldn’t receive love from him, I didn’t expect that in the slightest. What I wanted was to be held and cared about, even only for an hour, if that. I just wanted to feel as though someone cared about me for once. To be honest, I hadn’t prepared myself for the rejection afterwards. I knew it was going to hurt, but in my head, at this moment in time, it seemed worth it. I knew how this was going to go. And yet... Here I was.
Due to my silence, he was quick with his next invitation, “Care to come inside?” I nodded and he took my hand gently, pulling me towards the door of the bus. After opening it, he gestured for me to climb through, following swiftly behind and locking the door. Oh, great. I’m gonna die in here, aren’t I?
“Don’t look so scared. I’m not a monster. An asshole, maybe. But not a monster.” He sounded thoroughly amused at my apparent fear. It wasn’t even fear, mainly just uncertainty.
He moved closer to me, his hand cupping the side of my face, and lowered his voice, “I’m not going to hurt you.” Then his smirk grew, and his hand tightened slightly on my jaw, “Unless you want me to, of course.”
I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I had been holding, and he chuckled, eyeing my entire body, causing me to squirm uncomfortably under his gaze. Which only made his grin widen.
“Oh-ho. I can tell you and me are going to have some fun tonight.”
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