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"It's not pity Gerard… I….. I think I love you Gerard………"

Gerard awoke from his dream in the middle of the day on a Saturday dazed and confused. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked to Frank's bed which was empty.

Gerard couldn't remember anything that had happened from when he had done the drugs at Bert's. He faintly remembered bits and pieces of things but can't decide if they were dreams or reality.

He got up from his bed and stretched out. He walked into the bathroom he and Frank shared and turned on the water to hot. While waiting for the water to warm up he stripped off his clothes and attempted to comb through his bed head. He noticed a white strip of Bert's cum in his hair and felt disgusted with himself.

He slipped into the shower when the water was warm and cleaned himself with his favorite strawberry scented body wash. Gerard thought of Frank and the way his chestnut brown hair curled in a cute brown fringe on his forehead. The way he was confident enough to go shirtless and not think about it. Gerard had always been envious of that. Frank's muscles were evident in his arms and stomach.

Gerard slipped a hand down to his now semi-erection grasping the base in his hand. "Fuu-ck." He gasped as he started sliding up and down his cock to create friction. He imagined Frank was the one touching him. The water cascading down from the shower helped make his cock slippery, helping each pump. Gerard slipped a finger towards his entrance teasingly continuing his pumps on his cock with his right hand. He teased himself with his finger before he slipped it into his entrance. He moaned out loud at the feeling of fullness. He twisted his finger around until he found his prostate. "Uhh Frankie." He slipped in another finger and continued rubbing his special spot. He stroked his cock slowly until he felt himself get closer to the edge. "Fuck Frankkk." He moaned as he shot his load all over himself and the shower. He finished cleansing himself washing his hair with his favorite shampoo and conditioner washing his hair twice to get Bert's vile body substances off of him.

He towel dried his hair and wrapped the towel around his slim hips. He went to the closet that he and Frank shared (Gerard's clothes taking up more of the closet) and picked out a pair of tight black skinny's and a misfits band shirt. He walked out to the lounge that all the guys shared when
he overheard Frank on the phone.

"No Kim baby it's not like that!" Frank pleaded to his girlfriend on the phone. Gerard's stomach dropped but then rose again when he realized that they were having an argument.

"Babe you know I don't like him like that!" "I only spend a lot of time with him cause hes my bestfriend!" Gerard felt his heart in his throat he knew who Frank was talking about.

"I know I'm sorry baby." "Yes I know we need to spend more time together….." "How bout tonight?" "I can come over there and we can have some…..fun." Frank says seductively.

Gerard didn’t want to hear anymore. He sulked back into his and Frank's shared bedroom and hurtled himself on his bed face first down in his pillows and attempted not to cry. He didn't know why this what such a shock to him. He knew Frank was straight and he needed to accept that. He probably freaked the fuck out of Frank all the time by flirting with him. Frank probably only kissed Gerard to see what it was like to kiss a guy and soon after found he was disgusted with it. The thought of Frank having sex with his girlfriend….or any other person for that matter made Gerard queasy. Gerard luckily enough managed to hold back his tears because Frank soon wandered back into their room and sat on his own bed.

"You feeling any better Gee?" Frank asked him caringly coming over to sit next to Gerard on his bed.

"Um yeah I guess," "My head hurts a little from the hangover but nothing too terrible." Gerard replied when really he had been vomiting all night.

"Are you sure Gerard?" "I swore I heard you puking last night?" Frank stroked a piece of Gerard's wet fringe out of his face.

"Yeah but that was last night I'm feeling better now." Gerard said confidently. Silence ensued between the two.

"Frankie I wanted to thank you for last night." Gerard said taking one of Frank's hands in his. Frank looked down at their hands starting to feel nervous.

"Um no problem Gerard but what do you remember from last night?" Frank asked nervously. "Well I remember us going to the movie and than going to Bert's and….doing drugs….and well that’s pretty much it and I also remember you bringing me home."

Gerard neglected to mention the dreams he had been having about Frank telling him that he loved him but he knew those weren’t true. Frank looked relieved at what Gerard said but than concerned again.

"How exactly did you…..pay for the drugs Gerard?" Gerard's breath hitched in his throat.

"I know that you aren’t exactly flush on cash at the moment." Frank looked at Gerard suspiciously. Gerard bit his bottom lip not trusting his voice to not give him away. Frank could practically feel nervousness radiating from Gerard as it had been doing so from him just a moment ago. Frank eyed down Gerard sternly

"Gerard did you do what I think you did?" Gerard looked at Frank with wide eyes remembering when he used to give sexual favors often for drugs.

"N-oo." Gerard said his voice cracking. Frank looked at Gerard knowingly.

"You sucked him off didn't you." Gerard gasped looking at Frank with guilt in his eyes. Gerard didn’t say anything to deny Frank's assumption.

Frank couldn’t explain why he said what he did next whether it was because of anger or jealousy but he regretted it immediately after.

"So your back to acting like a fucking whore?" Gerard visibly flinched when Frank said that and Frank's heart dropped when he saw the crest fallen look on Gerard's face.

"Fuck Gerard I didn't mean it!" "I'm sorry!" Frank tried to put his hand on Gerard's shoulder but Gerard shrugged it off. Frank saw tears making their way down Gerard's porcelain cheeks and felt his heart clench. He was the one who made Gerard feel this way.

"Please go away Frank." Gerard croaked out hiding his face in his hands.

"Gerard please I'm sorry!" Frank tried to hug Gerard again but Gerard pushed him off.

"Get the fuck out!" Gerard yelled at Frank burying his head in his pillows. Frank sighed and decided he had he didn't have a choice. He didn’t want to upset Gerard more he loved him after all, even though he couldn't admit it to Gerard.

Frank quietly walked out of their shared bedroom. He tried to make himself look forward to spending the night at Kim's but he couldn't thinking of how he had hurt Gerard.

Gerard was still crying in his room trying to calm himself down. It hadn’t hurt as much when people called him that in high school but when Frank called him that it ripped him apart. Frank was his best friend the one person he trusted with his life and that hurt him more than anything. Gerard knew he needed to be strong to get over Frank but he had no idea how. Hed loved Frank since highschool and he didn’t know how to stop. He spent the rest of the afternoon sobbing into his pillows and thinking about Frank.

******

When Frank arrived at Kim's apartment he felt that queasy feeling you get in your stomach when you do something you know you shouldn't be doing. He decided to ignore that sinking feeling in his stomach and ring the door bell. He had stopped at the store at gotten Kim a rose trying to make up for not hanging out with her lately. He didn’t have to wait long to see her pretty face opening the door.

"Hey Frankie babe." She smiled "Oh look you brought me a rose that’s so nice of you!" "Come on it." Kim dragged Frank into the bedroom of her shared apartment.

Kim pushed Frank down on the bed and whiserped in his ear "We can make up for lost time." she than begins seductively sucking on his neck. Frank tried to get it up he really did but he just didn’t feel right being here with Kim.

"Whats wrong baby?" She asked when she noticed he wasn’t getting hard.

"I'm just not really in the mood." Frank tried to cover up for the fact that he was he just didn't want to have sex with her at all.

"You're always in the mood Frank." She said sternly "Are you cheating on me?" She asked offensively.

Frank thought back to kissing Gerard. Kissing wasn’t really cheating right?

"No of course not!" he said indignantly.

"Are you sure?" "Well you're not acting like you're in love with me!" Kim bitched.

Frank sighed to himself he wasn’t in love with her really and he really ought to tell her.

"Kim, to be honest I'm not in love with you I never was really."

Frank looked at her dumb struck face and was surprised that he didn't feel that bad about breaking her heart. It hurt a lot less than hurting Gerard.

"What Frank?" She said holding back tears.

"Im really sorry Kim but I think we need to break up I'm in love with someone else actually." Kim's eyes flashed from sad to angry.

"Who?" She exclaimed "Let me guess it's that Gerard fag isn’t it? I knew I was right." Kim sneered at him.

Frank didn’t think she looked very pretty anymore.

"Don't call him that!" "And yeah it is." Frank admitted to her.

"Why? What does he have that I don't?" She bitched at him.

"Well for starters he has a heart." Frank laughed to himself "And he's also the most beautiful person I've met in my life inside and out." Kim slapped Frank hard across the face.

"Get the FUCK out of my apartment." She screamed at him. "Gladly." Frank replied snatching back the rose on the way out.

***

Gerard was still sat in his bed thinking over things when he heard someone return to the apartment. Gerard thought it was probably Brian or Zacky since Frank was out fucking his girlfriend. Thinking of this made Gerard's heart ache again.

Gerard was shocked when he saw the bedroom door open slowly to reveal Frank's sheepish looking face poke in the door way.

"Can I come in?" Frank asked shyly.

"Yeah I suppose." Gerard sighed, happy that Frank wasn’t with his bitch ass whore of a girlfriend.

Frank emerged through the door holding a single red rose.

"Um I came to apologize." Frank started off shuffling his feet. He handed the rose to Gerard who took it in his hands examined it and set it gently on his bedside table. He than met Frank's eyes again.

"Why aren’t you and Kim fucking?" Gerard asked coldly. Frank flinched at the tone in Gerard's voice.

"We uh…..actually we broke up." Gerard felt his heart soar.

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with someone else." Gerard's heart sank again.

"Ohh." Gerard sighed. "Well I'm sorry you two broke up."

"No Gerard don’t be sorry." Frank had decided to tell the taller man that he was in love with him.

"Who is it?" Gerard asked expectantly.

"Who's what?" Frank asked his nervousness getting the best of him again.

"Who are you In love with dumbass?" Gerard snapped. Frank gulped.

"You, I'm in love with you I've always been in love with you." Frank confessed wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Gerard looked at Frank shocked with his jaw on the floor.

"You-you what?" Gerard stuttered out.

Frank laughed sitting down on the bed next to Gerard cupping Gerard's face in his hands.

"Yes, I'm in love with you now kiss me you idiot."

Frank leaned into Gerard pulling his face towards his own and connecting their lips. Gerard's lips remained still for awhile until he realize what was happening and began to kiss back. This was what he had always wanted and he couldn't believe it. When they finally broke apart Gerard looked at Frank with confusion.

"I thought you were straight?" Gerard questioned.

Frank sighed.

"I only told you I was straight."

"What?" Gerard asked blankly.

Frank chuckled.

"I'm bisexual Gerard."

"I knew it." Gerard said smugly. "Why didn't you tell me before?" Gerard asked with a hurt expression on his face.

"I was scared Gerard, I was scared of what people would think of me, I was a coward."

Gerard gave Frank a sympathetic look.

"I was never brave like you Gerard."

Gerard blushed.

"I'm not brave Frank."

"Yes you are Gee you've always been out with your sexuality and proud of it."

"Yeah I suppose I have." Gerard grinned sheepishly.

Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and Gerard snuggled into his chest. A comfortable silence ensued.

"Frank?" Gerard uttered into Frank's chest.

"Yeah Gee?"

"I had some dreams last night where you said you loved me…..were those true?" Frank ran his hands over Gerard's back lovingly.

"Uh yeah they were." Frank coughed. Gerard smiled to himself.

"You know I'm in love with you too right Frankie?"

Frank laughed.

"Yeah Gerard you've told me a couples hundred times." Frank saw Gerard's face fall a little bit.

"And I never get sick of it." He whispered in Gerard's ear. Gerard could feel his heart rate pick up. He placed his hands on Frank's chest looking up at him.

"Good cause you're gonna hear it again….I love you Frankie." Gerard cooed in Frank's ear.

Frank grinned widely. "I love you too Gerard."

This time Gerard instigated this kiss leaning in to Frank and kissing his lips chastely his hands wrapping themselves around Frank's shoulders. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard's waist kissing him back urgently. Frank slipped his tongue delicately over Gerard's bottom lip silently asking for entrance. Gerard parted his lips and Frank's tongue danced with his own. When they finally pulled away Frank leaned his forehead against Gerard's. Both of them looked into eachother's hazel orbs.

"Gee?"

"Yeah Frank?"

"Am I forgiven?"

"Yes Frankie." Gerard sighed exasperatedly.