Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Seize The Day
Zacky's eyes got wide as Brian pressed his lips against his own. He noticed the tracks on his face where tears have rolled down. Zacky felt bad; Brian really did like Ronnie from what he could tell. But he couldn't help but feel glad Ronnie dumped him. Zacky had had a crush on Brian for the longest time and Ronnie was just a manipulative douche bag who used him for sex. But now Brian was kissing him. It was what Zacky had always wanted. But it was wrong and he knew it.
Once Zacky got over the initial shock of the kiss, he realized that Brian was fumbling with his belt buckle and trying to get him to lie down on the bed. No matter how much Zacky wanted this to happen, he knew it wasn't right. He pushed Brian of him gently, separating them from the kiss. Brian looked at Zacky questioningly.
“I’m sorry, Brian, but we can’t do this.” Zacky said quietly. Brian wiped at his running eyes with his sleeve.
“You’re right. Ronnie was right. I am a whore.” Brian buried his face in the pillow he was clutching as more tears threatened to fall. Zacky scooted closer and put a hand on his back reassuringly.
“No, Brian, that’s not it. It’s just...” Zack paused, trying to find the right words to say. “It’s just that you just got dumped, by a major asshole if I might add, and you’re vulnerable. You’re just trying to do something to keep your mind off of Ronnie.” Zacky felt Brian tense up under his hand at the sound of his ex-boyfriend’s name. “Trust me, you’d regret it in the morning if we did anything.” Brian stayed buried in the pillow for a few moments more, considering all of what Zacky just said. Then he slowly rose, still crying a bit, to look at Zacky.
“No, that’s not it, Zack.” He said loudly and forcefully. “You don’t want to have sex with me because I’m ‘vulnerable.’” He said, using air quotes. “You don’t want to have sex with me because you really don’t give a damn about me. Just like Ronnie and nearly every single other guy I’ve ever been with.” Zacky shook his head and opened his mouth to protest but Brian cut him off. “Save it, asshole. Apparently I’m not worth wasting your breath over.”
With that, Brian got up and left the bedroom, slamming the door behind him and leaving Zacky still on the bed, confused.
“Brian!” Zacky called after him. Expectedly, there was no answer. Zacky got up and quickly left the bedroom. He got into the living room and noticed the door into their apartment was left wide open. Zacky sighed and fell onto the couch, rubbing the sides of his forehead due to an incoming headache. He would go after Brian, but Jersey’s huge; he could go anywhere. Zacky decided to let him go blow off a little steam and when he comes back, they can talk.
Zacky pulled out his cell phone and dialed Frank’s number. He listened to the ring until he heard Frank’s voice telling him to leave a message. Zacky hung up before the recorded message was even finished; he had forgotten that he was on a “date” with Gerard. He always knew there was something going on between them. Zacky smirked as he lazily turned on the small TV, desperate to get his mind off Brian.
--
Brian slowed his jog to a walk, more tears rolling down his face and shoved his hands in his pockets. It was raining, fitting for the situation. He knew he shouldn’t be wandering around Jersey alone at sundown, but he was so fed up with Zacky and Ronnie both; he needed some time alone. He kept nervously glancing over his shoulder to make sure Zacky wasn’t following him. Thankfully he wasn’t and Brian was too far from the apartment for Zacky to catch up now.
He thought about what he had said to Zacky after he had pushed him away. Maybe he was a little harsh; Zacky was only trying not to take advantage of him while he was in a fragile state after all. But Brian was just so used to being taken advantage of; it surprised him when someone cared enough to stop him from doing something he’d regret.
Brian got to the end of the street and started to turn to head back to the apartment but a familiar figure that was walking closer stopped him.
“Ronnie?” Brian squinted his eyes to get a better look, the water dripping from his hair blurring his vision. As the figure got closer, Brian could make out Ronnie’s dark hair and tattoos.
“Brian, I was just on my way to your apartment.” Ronnie reached out to touch Brian but stopped when he noticed Brian’s jaw clench tight and his hands roll into fists. “Brian, what’s wrong?”
“You know damn well what’s wrong.” Brian spat. Ronnie didn’t speak, just looked at him with a confused glance. Brian rolled his eyes. “Does ‘I’m dumping your ass’ or ‘You’re more of a whore than the random chicks I pick up’ ring a bell?”
“C’mon, babe, you know I didn’t really mean that. I don’t want to break up. I love you.” Ronnie said reassuringly, wrapping his hands around Brian’s waist and moving closer. Brian pushed him away.
“Bullshit. You only want me back so you can fuck me until you find someone better. You even said so yourself. Now get the hell away from me before I kick your ass.” Ronnie just chuckled.
“Oh Brian. You and I both know you’re not the tough one in this relationship. You couldn’t hurt a fly.” Brian eyed Ronnie carefully as he started walking in circles around him. “You’re too weak. You know no one truly loves or cares about you so you should just take what you can get.” Ronnie’s words were getting to Brian. He always knew how to get under Brian’s skin.
“That’s not true.” Brian said, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence. Ronnie smiled evilly.
“Oh, but it is. What did you do when you got home after I dumped you, Bri?” Brian said nothing. “Oh wait, let me guess: You went home to cry to that dipshit roommate of yours. That Zacky kid. But he didn’t do a damn thing about it, did he Brian?” Brian bit his lip and tried to ignore Ronnie. But his words were getting to him and Ronnie knew it. “In fact, he even pushed you away. Didn’t he? Isn’t that what happened?”
“H-How did you know?” Brian asked, releasing his hands from fists. Ronnie smiled again.
“I’m the only one in this world you really loves you, Brian.” Ronnie whispered, ignoring Brian’s question. “Your parents included. If I remember correctly, they kicked you out because you’re gay. Isn’t that right?” Brian couldn’t hold it in any longer. He all but broke down crying on that corner of a random road in Jersey. He thought of how close he was with his dad before he came out. He thought of the disapproving look that came across his face when he did. He thought of hearing the door lock behind him after he was basically thrown out onto the front lawn and cried harder. Ronnie bent down next to him and put a hand on him back comfortingly.
“Here, Brian. I have something that will make it all better.” Brian looked up and stared at the silver container Ronnie was holding out to him. He didn’t care what it was; he snagged it out of Ronnie’s outstretched hand and downed the whole thing. He coughed and almost threw the dreadful liquid back up, but he managed to keep it down. Ronnie smirked as Brian stumbled over his own feet when he helped him up.
“Let’s go back to my place.” Ronnie whispered in Brian’s ear seductively. Brian tried desperately to focus on the situation but his vision was going blurry and he felt like he was going to pass out.
“I-I can’t.” Brian slurred. “I'm sorry, Ronnie, but I g-got to get home to Zacky.” Brian staggered, trying to walk back down the road towards his apartment, but Ronnie but a hand on his chest, stopping him.
“Zacky? The guy who pushed you away when you needed him most? The guy who’s probably back at your apartment, stuffing his fat ass, watching TV and barely realizes you’re gone? The guy who doesn’t give a shit about you?” Brian collapsed into Ronnie’s arms before he could say anything back. Ronnie smirked and carried him, bridal-style, back to his apartment.
--
Zacky jolted awake from the sudden loud noises coming from the TV that he left on before falling asleep. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and checked the time on his phone. He had been asleep for 3 hours.
Zacky sighed and looked around the apartment. There were no signs that Brian had returned. He checked in the bedroom to make sure Brian wasn’t in there asleep. Zacky started to worry when he saw that he wasn’t. He hurriedly punched in Brian’s number in his phone, growing more worried with every passing second. He hung up as soon as he heard his voicemail message and bolted out of the apartment to find him.
--
Brian was lying on Ronnie’s bed, only half aware of his surroundings, while he got more alcohol from his kitchen. Brian was trying to focus on a single spot on the ceiling, to keep the room from spinning so much, but had little avail. Whatever was in that silver container Ronnie had was really getting to him. He sat up a little too quickly and immediately felt like he was going to throw up. He rushed into the nearby bathroom and released the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl.
“You better not get any of your barf on my bathroom floor!” Brian heard Ronnie yell from his bedroom in between gags. “Hurry up and finish! Then get in here, I’ve got plans for you and me!” Brian slowly stood up from his place on the floor and placed his hand on the wall to guide him back to the bedroom. Once he got there, he found Ronnie sitting on the foot of the bed with two glasses in his hands.
“God you look like shit.” Ronnie said disapprovingly. “Come sit down.” He patted the spot on the bed next to him and when Brian sat down, he handed him one of the glasses.
“What’s this?” Brian asked groggily, still dazed.
“Champagne.” Ronnie said as he scooted closer to Brian.
“I don’t know, Ronnie, I’m still pretty fucked up from—”
“Just fucking drink it.” Ronnie interrupted. Brian hesitantly took a sip from the glass. He noticed Ronnie staring at him, waiting for Brian to finish the whole thing, so he downed the glass; just like he did with the drink in the silver container. “Good boy.” Ronnie smirked as he set his own glass down on the bedside table, untouched.
“Aren’t you going to finish yours, too?” Brian asked, quickly getting even dizzier than before.
“No, I want to be fully aware of everything.” Brian was about to ask him what he meant, but before he could, Ronnie pushed him down into a lying position and quickly climbed on top of him. He got Brian’s belt buckle undone in one quick movement and was beginning to pull off his pants. Brian wanted so much to tell him to stop and push him off, but he had had too much to drink and was on the borderline of unconsciousness.
It was like torture; to have Ronnie take off his boxers and shirt and not being able to do a thing about it, though he was fully aware of what he was doing. He squeezed his eyes shut and just waited for it to be over. He felt Ronnie against him, fumbling now to take off his own boxers. He tensed up as he thought of what Ronnie was going to do against his will. He thought he heard someone opened the door to the bedroom but he didn’t dare open his eyes. He heard a familiar voice shouting and suddenly, Ronnie was pulled off of him. His eyes shot open just in time to see Ronnie fall to the floor with Zacky standing above him, breathing heavily. Brian sat up too quickly and the dizziness overcame him. He watched as the world around him became dark as he slipped into unconsciousness.
Once Zacky got over the initial shock of the kiss, he realized that Brian was fumbling with his belt buckle and trying to get him to lie down on the bed. No matter how much Zacky wanted this to happen, he knew it wasn't right. He pushed Brian of him gently, separating them from the kiss. Brian looked at Zacky questioningly.
“I’m sorry, Brian, but we can’t do this.” Zacky said quietly. Brian wiped at his running eyes with his sleeve.
“You’re right. Ronnie was right. I am a whore.” Brian buried his face in the pillow he was clutching as more tears threatened to fall. Zacky scooted closer and put a hand on his back reassuringly.
“No, Brian, that’s not it. It’s just...” Zack paused, trying to find the right words to say. “It’s just that you just got dumped, by a major asshole if I might add, and you’re vulnerable. You’re just trying to do something to keep your mind off of Ronnie.” Zacky felt Brian tense up under his hand at the sound of his ex-boyfriend’s name. “Trust me, you’d regret it in the morning if we did anything.” Brian stayed buried in the pillow for a few moments more, considering all of what Zacky just said. Then he slowly rose, still crying a bit, to look at Zacky.
“No, that’s not it, Zack.” He said loudly and forcefully. “You don’t want to have sex with me because I’m ‘vulnerable.’” He said, using air quotes. “You don’t want to have sex with me because you really don’t give a damn about me. Just like Ronnie and nearly every single other guy I’ve ever been with.” Zacky shook his head and opened his mouth to protest but Brian cut him off. “Save it, asshole. Apparently I’m not worth wasting your breath over.”
With that, Brian got up and left the bedroom, slamming the door behind him and leaving Zacky still on the bed, confused.
“Brian!” Zacky called after him. Expectedly, there was no answer. Zacky got up and quickly left the bedroom. He got into the living room and noticed the door into their apartment was left wide open. Zacky sighed and fell onto the couch, rubbing the sides of his forehead due to an incoming headache. He would go after Brian, but Jersey’s huge; he could go anywhere. Zacky decided to let him go blow off a little steam and when he comes back, they can talk.
Zacky pulled out his cell phone and dialed Frank’s number. He listened to the ring until he heard Frank’s voice telling him to leave a message. Zacky hung up before the recorded message was even finished; he had forgotten that he was on a “date” with Gerard. He always knew there was something going on between them. Zacky smirked as he lazily turned on the small TV, desperate to get his mind off Brian.
--
Brian slowed his jog to a walk, more tears rolling down his face and shoved his hands in his pockets. It was raining, fitting for the situation. He knew he shouldn’t be wandering around Jersey alone at sundown, but he was so fed up with Zacky and Ronnie both; he needed some time alone. He kept nervously glancing over his shoulder to make sure Zacky wasn’t following him. Thankfully he wasn’t and Brian was too far from the apartment for Zacky to catch up now.
He thought about what he had said to Zacky after he had pushed him away. Maybe he was a little harsh; Zacky was only trying not to take advantage of him while he was in a fragile state after all. But Brian was just so used to being taken advantage of; it surprised him when someone cared enough to stop him from doing something he’d regret.
Brian got to the end of the street and started to turn to head back to the apartment but a familiar figure that was walking closer stopped him.
“Ronnie?” Brian squinted his eyes to get a better look, the water dripping from his hair blurring his vision. As the figure got closer, Brian could make out Ronnie’s dark hair and tattoos.
“Brian, I was just on my way to your apartment.” Ronnie reached out to touch Brian but stopped when he noticed Brian’s jaw clench tight and his hands roll into fists. “Brian, what’s wrong?”
“You know damn well what’s wrong.” Brian spat. Ronnie didn’t speak, just looked at him with a confused glance. Brian rolled his eyes. “Does ‘I’m dumping your ass’ or ‘You’re more of a whore than the random chicks I pick up’ ring a bell?”
“C’mon, babe, you know I didn’t really mean that. I don’t want to break up. I love you.” Ronnie said reassuringly, wrapping his hands around Brian’s waist and moving closer. Brian pushed him away.
“Bullshit. You only want me back so you can fuck me until you find someone better. You even said so yourself. Now get the hell away from me before I kick your ass.” Ronnie just chuckled.
“Oh Brian. You and I both know you’re not the tough one in this relationship. You couldn’t hurt a fly.” Brian eyed Ronnie carefully as he started walking in circles around him. “You’re too weak. You know no one truly loves or cares about you so you should just take what you can get.” Ronnie’s words were getting to Brian. He always knew how to get under Brian’s skin.
“That’s not true.” Brian said, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence. Ronnie smiled evilly.
“Oh, but it is. What did you do when you got home after I dumped you, Bri?” Brian said nothing. “Oh wait, let me guess: You went home to cry to that dipshit roommate of yours. That Zacky kid. But he didn’t do a damn thing about it, did he Brian?” Brian bit his lip and tried to ignore Ronnie. But his words were getting to him and Ronnie knew it. “In fact, he even pushed you away. Didn’t he? Isn’t that what happened?”
“H-How did you know?” Brian asked, releasing his hands from fists. Ronnie smiled again.
“I’m the only one in this world you really loves you, Brian.” Ronnie whispered, ignoring Brian’s question. “Your parents included. If I remember correctly, they kicked you out because you’re gay. Isn’t that right?” Brian couldn’t hold it in any longer. He all but broke down crying on that corner of a random road in Jersey. He thought of how close he was with his dad before he came out. He thought of the disapproving look that came across his face when he did. He thought of hearing the door lock behind him after he was basically thrown out onto the front lawn and cried harder. Ronnie bent down next to him and put a hand on him back comfortingly.
“Here, Brian. I have something that will make it all better.” Brian looked up and stared at the silver container Ronnie was holding out to him. He didn’t care what it was; he snagged it out of Ronnie’s outstretched hand and downed the whole thing. He coughed and almost threw the dreadful liquid back up, but he managed to keep it down. Ronnie smirked as Brian stumbled over his own feet when he helped him up.
“Let’s go back to my place.” Ronnie whispered in Brian’s ear seductively. Brian tried desperately to focus on the situation but his vision was going blurry and he felt like he was going to pass out.
“I-I can’t.” Brian slurred. “I'm sorry, Ronnie, but I g-got to get home to Zacky.” Brian staggered, trying to walk back down the road towards his apartment, but Ronnie but a hand on his chest, stopping him.
“Zacky? The guy who pushed you away when you needed him most? The guy who’s probably back at your apartment, stuffing his fat ass, watching TV and barely realizes you’re gone? The guy who doesn’t give a shit about you?” Brian collapsed into Ronnie’s arms before he could say anything back. Ronnie smirked and carried him, bridal-style, back to his apartment.
--
Zacky jolted awake from the sudden loud noises coming from the TV that he left on before falling asleep. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and checked the time on his phone. He had been asleep for 3 hours.
Zacky sighed and looked around the apartment. There were no signs that Brian had returned. He checked in the bedroom to make sure Brian wasn’t in there asleep. Zacky started to worry when he saw that he wasn’t. He hurriedly punched in Brian’s number in his phone, growing more worried with every passing second. He hung up as soon as he heard his voicemail message and bolted out of the apartment to find him.
--
Brian was lying on Ronnie’s bed, only half aware of his surroundings, while he got more alcohol from his kitchen. Brian was trying to focus on a single spot on the ceiling, to keep the room from spinning so much, but had little avail. Whatever was in that silver container Ronnie had was really getting to him. He sat up a little too quickly and immediately felt like he was going to throw up. He rushed into the nearby bathroom and released the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl.
“You better not get any of your barf on my bathroom floor!” Brian heard Ronnie yell from his bedroom in between gags. “Hurry up and finish! Then get in here, I’ve got plans for you and me!” Brian slowly stood up from his place on the floor and placed his hand on the wall to guide him back to the bedroom. Once he got there, he found Ronnie sitting on the foot of the bed with two glasses in his hands.
“God you look like shit.” Ronnie said disapprovingly. “Come sit down.” He patted the spot on the bed next to him and when Brian sat down, he handed him one of the glasses.
“What’s this?” Brian asked groggily, still dazed.
“Champagne.” Ronnie said as he scooted closer to Brian.
“I don’t know, Ronnie, I’m still pretty fucked up from—”
“Just fucking drink it.” Ronnie interrupted. Brian hesitantly took a sip from the glass. He noticed Ronnie staring at him, waiting for Brian to finish the whole thing, so he downed the glass; just like he did with the drink in the silver container. “Good boy.” Ronnie smirked as he set his own glass down on the bedside table, untouched.
“Aren’t you going to finish yours, too?” Brian asked, quickly getting even dizzier than before.
“No, I want to be fully aware of everything.” Brian was about to ask him what he meant, but before he could, Ronnie pushed him down into a lying position and quickly climbed on top of him. He got Brian’s belt buckle undone in one quick movement and was beginning to pull off his pants. Brian wanted so much to tell him to stop and push him off, but he had had too much to drink and was on the borderline of unconsciousness.
It was like torture; to have Ronnie take off his boxers and shirt and not being able to do a thing about it, though he was fully aware of what he was doing. He squeezed his eyes shut and just waited for it to be over. He felt Ronnie against him, fumbling now to take off his own boxers. He tensed up as he thought of what Ronnie was going to do against his will. He thought he heard someone opened the door to the bedroom but he didn’t dare open his eyes. He heard a familiar voice shouting and suddenly, Ronnie was pulled off of him. His eyes shot open just in time to see Ronnie fall to the floor with Zacky standing above him, breathing heavily. Brian sat up too quickly and the dizziness overcame him. He watched as the world around him became dark as he slipped into unconsciousness.
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