FicWad

Patrick’s POV

“Patrick...” Pete says softly, lightly shaking me awake, “Rise and Shine..”

I slowly sit up and rub my eyes, after probably the best sleep I’ve ever had. Pete smiles and goes to his closet, pulling out his clothes for the day. I put on my glasses and go through my bag, blushing as I hide a pair of boxers, folding them up in my shirt. My blush deepens, once I realize that Pete is the one who packed my clothes. He’s already seen my boxers.

“Patrick? You okay, man?”

I look up to Pete and feel my heart stop as he pulls his shirt over his head. If possible, my blush deepens. I try not to stare, honestly. But I’ve found it...difficult. He pulls his shirt over his head, snapping me out of my trance. I quickly stand up and hurry to the bathroom before he changes his pants. I glance at my reflection, noticing how red my face is. I change my clothes and walk back into Pete’s bedroom, thankful, yet strangely disappointed he’s finished changing. I sit on Pete’s bed and pull on my shoes.

Pete grins to himself, pulling on a hoodie.

I raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’m just excited about messing with Josh at school today.” He gives a nonchalant shrug.

I pale and feel my heart drop. School. Josh. Everyone knows I’m gay. I deal with fat jokes and the like every day, but this? I can’t do this. I can’t. Being tormented over my sexuality has been my biggest fear for years. And now it’s unavoidable. I’m not ready for the taunts and jeers. I’m not ready to be beaten up, simply for being attracted to other guys. I can’t.

“Patrick?” Pete puts a hand on my shoulder, “You okay, man?”

“P-Pete I-I... I-I can’t.” I begin to shake nervously.

“Can’t what?” he frowns.

“Sc-School.... I-I can’t. I-I can’t.”

“Hey...” Pete sits beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulders, “It’ll be okay. Alright? We’re gonna get him back for this. And you know what? I think it’ll be fine. You told me you get teased every day and have pretty much gotten used to ignoring them... so that’s what you have to do. Because no matter what any of them think, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. Not one thing.”

“B-But they’ll-”

“They’ll be horrible and cruel. You just have to remember, you’re so much of a better person than any one of them, alright? You can do this.” He smiles encouragingly.

I sigh and bite my lip, “I-If you s-say so...d-do you think your parents will le-let me stay tonight?”

“Are you kidding? They love you!” he grins, “They love how polite and sweet you are.”

“I-I wasn’t very polite or sweet when I went off on my m-mom and got kicked o-out...” I look down.


Pete's POV

I shrug and smile at him. "It doesn't matter right now. All that matters is breakfast. C'mon." I nudge his shoulder and stand up. He stands as well, and we go down to the kitchen together. My mom's in the kitchen, and she's making pancakes.

"Morning, boys. Sleep okay?" I nod and go to grab a plate. Patrick walks over to my mom nervously.

"M-Mrs. Wentz? Thank you for letting me st-stay here. I really appreciate it."

She turns to Patrick, smiling. "No problem, dear. You can stay as long as you need to." She sets down the pan and pulls him into a hug. He relaxes instantly. My mom's good like that, she can calm anyone down with just a hug. We sit down to eat, and both of us devour our pancakes quickly. After we eat, we grab our bags and say goodbye to my mom. We head to my car and sit there for a while, waiting for it to warm up.

"Pete?" Patrick asks, still yawning sleepily.

"Yeah?"

"We'll be okay, right?"

"Yeah man, it'll be fine." Patrick nods and lets himself relax for a moment. I watch him as he stops fidgeting. I've been watching him quite a bit this morning. And I think he has been too. I caught him staring at me this morning when I took off my shirt. He probably hasn't seen a shirtless guy outside of a locker room in a while. I gasp quietly.

"Pete, what is it?" Patrick looks over at me nervously.

"The locker room. What period do you have gym?"

"5th, why?"

"So not only did we dodge the gym bullet yesterday, but we also have the same class. Perfect." I grin, bouncing slightly in my seat.

"Why is that perfect? I hate gym."

"Me too, I suck at sports. And running. And fresh air. But that's not important. What is important is... what does Josh have that period?"

Patrick winces. "Gym. But I never have to see him. He's on the basketball team so he just practices with them. And I never change in the locker room, so..."

"But I do."

"Well, that's great for you, but what does that matter?" Patrick asks, puzzled.

"I'm gonna catch him in the locker room. That's where I'll do it. I'd suggest you be there too."

"N-No I c-can't, I can't be i-in there with them, they'd k-kill me..." All calmness leaves Patrick as he begins to rock back and forth.

"You don't have to change in there.. The end of the period, okay? Just meet me in there after you change and I'll take care of everything."

Patrick starts shaking his head quickly and I grab his shoulder. He looks at me with fearful eyes and I just watch as he stops shaking his head. He sits still, looking at me.

"Patrick. I owe this to you. I was a total idiot yesterday and I just want to make things okay for you. Please let me?"

He nods, biting his lip. "I-I'm just afraid. R-Really, really afraid. I'm afraid it'll go all wrong."

"I won't let it, okay? I know how to do this. I have a way with people. Just hide. Try to remain invisible. You can just watch, unless I need your help." Patrick starts to interrupt. "I won't need anything though, okay? You don't have to worry. And if anyone so much as breathes on you, I'll kick their ass."

"Why are you d-doing this?" Patrick murmurs.

"Because it's the right thing to do."

With that, I put the car in motion and begin to drive.


Patrick’s POV

I try to remain calm as Pete drives, but by the time we’re in the school parking lot, I’m panicking again. He calms me down, though, and we head to our first class. I sit in my assigned seat and keep quiet the entire time, trying to ignore the whispering around me.

“I heard he’s gay, how gross!”

“Fag.”

“I think I’ve seen him checking out my ass before!”

“Do you think he’s ever had sex with a guy? Eww!”

“As if anyone, gay or not would have sex with him.”

I bite my lip and shake as the conversations continue around me. As soon as the bell rings I run out the door and into a bathroom stall, locking it before vomiting from the nervousness. I can’t do this. I fucking can’t. I’m going home. My heart sinks. Home. As of yesterday, I don’t really have a home. I bite my lip and flush the vomit before unlocking the stall door.

“So you’re making yourself puke now, fag?”

I squeak as I see Josh waiting in front of the stall door. Where is Pete? Someone please walk in. Someone that won’t help him.

“You know, Patty, that’s very bad for you. Although, so is being a fat ass.”

I look down and bite my lip.

“I heard you got kicked out for being a fag.” he smirks, “Where are you living now, in a box? It’s not like you have any friends.” he shoves me against the wall, “And I’m going to make damn sure you never do.”

I whimper, not bothering trying to struggle out of his grip. He’s got me.

I walk into my second class with a black eye, Pete looks up at me with a gasp.

“Patrick what-”

“You know exactly what happened. Everyone in this fucking classroom knows.” I take my seat and mumble, “At least I got my glasses off in time..”

Pete clenches his fists angrily, “Josh is fucking going down.”


Pete's POV

"P-Pete, n-no..."

I whisper, trying to be as quiet as possible. "Patrick, I don't wanna hear it. This is the last fucking straw. He's gonna pay, and he's gonna hurt. I'll make sure of that. But this is gonna take a lot more acting on my part. I have to pretend like I don't want to kill him. So Patrick? I'm gonna have to pretend not to want anything to do with you."

Patrick whimpers and shakes his head. "Y-You're the only p-person who c-cares about me. At all."

I lean forward, glancing around the room to make sure we're not overheard. No one has entered the classroom yet except a few girls asleep on their desks. I look back to Patrick.

"I'm gonna make you a promise. I promise that no matter how horrible I am to you, no matter what nasty things I say to you or what I do to you, it is all a lie. I'll probably have to get mean. But I promise you I don't and won't mean a word of it. And I also promise I won't lay a hand on you. That's where I draw the line." I'm talking fast and low now, the nervousness beginning to show in my voice.

"I-I c-can't do this, p-please, I j-just can't, d-don't make me go th-through this."

"I know it's horrible, I know. But he needs to go down. There's no backing out of this now. Not for me. I'm sick of this abusive, homophobic, sadistic pig. He needs to get broken. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

Patrick is slowly backing away from me. I take a deep breath and look at the floor. I know I'm getting too riled up. I reach over and take his hands, squeezing them reassuringly. He bites back tears and I pull one of my hands away to wipe his cheek.

"It's going to be okay. I won't stop until it is. So here's what I want you to do. Go to your happy place. All day. I don't know if you have one, but if you don't, make one. Survive until 5th period. Don't go to the bathroom unless you really need to. They'll trap you there. Hide. Try to be invisible. I know there will be incidences. But I believe in you, you can do this. It's already 2nd period. It won't be long."

"D-Do you have any other classes with me?" Patrick whimpers.

"No, I don't think so. I glanced at your schedule earlier and you and I have different 3rds and 4ths. I'm sorry. After this... you're on your own. And at lunch, I'm gonna sit by myself. If I sit with you, I'll be suspected. If I sit with them... well I kinda kicked Josh yesterday, so..."

"Wh-What about me?"

"Maybe don't eat. At least not around other people. You have to be safe."

Patrick nods and turns fearfully as the rest of the students start filing in.


Patrick’s POV

Why doesn’t Pete understand that I can’t do this? I can’t. I’m completely incapable. They’ll kill me before lunch! And Pete... I don’t want him to be mean. Doesn’t he understand it will break me? As fake as it may be, I know I won’t be able to take it. I glance over to look at Pete, then look down, noticing he’s moved away from my seat. Josh smirks as he walks in, pointing at me.

“Damn you did that? Faggot can hardly open his eye!” one of Josh’s friend’s cheer.

Happy Place. Happy Place. Happy Place.

There is no fucking happy place. The only time I’ve felt happy recently was...last night. When I ate dinner with Pete and his parents. They were so nice to me, and they didn’t suggest I only eat half of my plate, and skip dessert. They made me feel safe enough to come out. Safe, is a rare feeling for me. His parents are so nice. For a few moments, I’d even forgotten about getting kicked out, and my trouble at school.

“Are you ignoring me, queer?” Josh stabs me with a pencil.

I wince, “Wh-What?”

“I said, How’s it feel knowing your mother doesn’t even love you.” he grins.

I look down, “Like hell.”

“I bet she hates you now.” he gloats.

“Y-Yeah..” my eyes water.

“I don’t blame her. Having you as a son? That’d be tragic.”

I sniffle, “I-I don’t blame her either. I-I hate me too.” I stand up and try to hide my tears as I ask to go to the nurse about my eye.

I walk to the nurse’s office alone, crying silently. I don't even have Pete to help me now.


‎Pete's POV

I stare at the door after he leaves, shaking in anger. What I wouldn't give to beat Josh right now in front of everyone. No. No, I remind myself. I need to break him. I spend the rest of the period looking from the door to the clock and back. I have no idea what's being taught and I really don't care at the moment. As soon as the bell rings, I'm out the door. I'm not gonna wait around for Josh and his stupid lackeys. I hide in a deserted corridor and glance at my school map before going to find my class. Before I can make it, I feel someone grab my shoulder.

"Hey, new kid. Heard what you did to Josh. What do you have to say for yourself?"

I look up into the face of the tall, muscled jock standing before me. Before I speak, I take a deep breath to calm my mind and prepare what I'm gonna say.

"I uh... I'm really... I didn't know what came over me." I start to act nervous, avoiding his eyes. "I really hope he doesn't kill me, I just... I'm just trying to fit in, you know? I wanna hang out with you guys, and I guess I got a little... out of hand."

"Well why'd you stick up for the fag?" the jock asks, sneering.

"You kidding? I wasn't sticking up for him, man." I chuckle, rolling my eyes. "Nah, I was showing him what happens to people who piss me off. I figured he's already Josh's punching bag, so why not throw a kick Josh's way instead? I knew he can handle it."

Josh's friend grins and nods. "Yeah, you seem pretty cool. You gonna hang with us later?"

"Fuck yeah, man. Count me in. Oh, and tell Josh I need to talk to him after gym. I gotta apologize, tell him I wasn't trying to kick the shit out of him. Just let him know, yeah? Locker room."

"Sure thing, dude. Cool, I'm off to class." With that, he pats me on the back and leaves. I sigh in relief and enter my classroom. Guilt eats at me instantly.


‎Patrick’s POV

Unfortunately, the nurse denies my request, which was practically begging, to stay there for the rest of the day. In my classes, I’m completely unable to concentrate. The teasing is getting to me. And by gym, I’m a wreck. We’re told to run laps around the gym, which I’m glad at least doesn’t require much concentration. I just run, ignoring the fat jokes. I run, ignoring the gay jokes. I ignore the laughs and sneers as I run past. Despite my size, I can run. It comes in handy when you miss the bus, and when you’re being chased by bullies. My problem is that, I generally freeze in fear. Suddenly, I fall to the floor with the aid of Jacob’s foot. I bite my lip and slowly stand up. I guess running requires more concentration than I thought.

“You alright over there?” Jacob grins, proud of himself.

“I’m fine.” I begin walking away.

He snorts, “Whatever fag, wait until after school. Josh is going to kill you.”

“If only I were so lucky as to actually die.” I mumble, breaking into a run again.

After we’re told we can change, I get into a stall and begin changing my clothes, and then wait for Pete and Josh. I don’t know why I have to be here, I’ve gone through enough shit today, I don’t want to watch Josh and Pete badmouth me. I hear the door open and bite my lip, watching through the crack of the door.

“You had something to say?” Josh asks.

Pete nods, “I, yeah. About yesterday... I meant to scare Patrick by kicking you, but I didn’t think it through. I just thought, yanno, you’re not gonna get hurt by one kick, and it seemed to work.”

Josh nods, “That was very risky, Pete... I thought you were defending that fag, and trust me, you don’t want that. Being associated with him is like catching the plague.”

Pete nods, “I can see that... hey, I have a question.”

“What’s that?” Josh raises an eyebrow.

“Besides the obvious reasons, why is everyone so against him? He do something?”

Josh shakes his head, “Nah, just look at him. Everyone needs a punching bag, and Patrick fits the bill, for all of us. Actually, last year we had this kid pretend to be his friend.” Josh laughs, “It was hilarious. He told Mike all kinds of shit we can use. Apparently the freak cuts himself, or used to. Can you imagine how fucked up you’d have to be?”

I bite my lip and look down. Great, now Pete knows about that too.

“He starves himself half the time too.” Josh grins, “Fat ass could lose a few hundred pounds, right?”

I wince and look at Pete through the crack in the door. Please, I know you can’t say anything nice, but please don’t bring up my flaws. Please.


[‎Pete's POV]

I'm seeing red. Josh doesn't notice, but I'm clutching my bag so hard my fingers feel like they're gonna break. They bullied him into cutting himself? Starving himself? If murder wasn't illegal, I'd be standing in a pool of blood right now. I'm gonna need to talk to Patrick about that later. I heard him go into one of the stalls as I walked into the locker room. I know he heard what Josh just said, and I know he's probably dying inside. I take a deep breath and nod at Josh, forcing a grin onto my face. Act, Pete. Just act. Lie through your teeth. You can do it. Do it for Patrick.

"Yeah, sounds like how we used to treat this one guy at my last school. He was gay too. Never talked to anyone, total outcast." I talk as I take my clothes out of my gym locker.

"Oh yeah?" Josh chuckles. "What'd you do?"

"We shoved him in a teacher's closet. Locked him in. Told him he's better off in the closet. He wouldn't even admit to being gay, that was the worst part!" I laugh cruelly, kicking myself inwardly. I shake my head a tiny bit and pull off my gym shirt. He glances over at me, not looking me in the eye.

"What do you mean?" Josh asks.

"When the fags don't admit they're fags, that's the worst thing there is. Yanno? He was too big of a pussy to come out, even though we saw him kissing another guy! Refused to admit it, though. So we told him until he was ready to come out of the closet, he couldn't come out of the closet." I laugh hysterically at my own vicious joke, hating myself more by the second. I glance at Josh and notice he's not laughing. Just standing there, rubbing the back of his neck absently.

"S'wrong, Josh? I say something?" I frown, stretching my arms behind my head, subtly showing off my bare chest.

"Nah man, just... I can trust you, right? You'll laugh, it's..."

I nod earnestly. "Course you can. I'm actually a really trustworthy guy. You'll learn that as you get to know me."

"You ever get the urge to do something? Out of curiosity? Shit, man... what am I saying?"

"Urge to do what?"

"Oh um..." he chuckles quietly. "Yanno, punch the shit out of random kids, same 'ol."

"Yeah, 'course I do. But I don't think that's what you wanted to say." I move toward him the tiniest amount. He bites his lip and glances at my chest before looking back at my face.

"I don't... I don't know, it's like you said. People shouldn't really hide stuff, I guess."

"Yeah? You mean like that gay kid I shoved in a closet?" I inch closer. He's definitely staring at my chest now.

"Yeah... that f-fag..." The way his voice cracks on that last word doesn't go unnoticed by me. I inch closer.

"What about him? And what were you saying about urges? Urge to do what, Josh?"

Before I know it, he's pulling me into a kiss.


‎Patrick's POV

Pete's lying. Remember that. He would never do something so incredibly cruel. Never. I may have just met him a day ago, but I know he's a good guy. And he's gay, he'd never do something like that. I watch Pete inch closer to Josh, shirtless. I blush as I shamefully stare at him. He's definitely good looking. Josh keeps looking at his chest too. I look down and clean my glasses. When I put them back on, I clench my fists. They're kissing. No. Flirting, fine. But kissing? How did that even happen!? The kiss gets more heated and I'm getting angry at the both of them. If Pete wanted a make out buddy he didn't need to bring me along for the fucking show. I need out of this locker room, and now.