FicWad

A/N: Thanks to Nelum for motivating me to write this, I was going to stop writing after the last chapter because I didn't think it was any good, but I'll keep going and see what happens.

"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."
-John Lennon

Frank whined and tapped his sweating palm against Gerard’s hot cheek, trying to wake him up. “Gerard, come on…” he groaned, “Wake up…” Finally, Gerard stirred as though in a restless sleep and screwed up his eyes. Frank sighed in relief.
“Frank,” he moaned then rubbed the side of his face where Frank’s hand had been, “Did you go out?” Frank frowned and looked at Gerard’s tired expression.
“Yeah, I told you before I left,” he explained, stroking the side of Gerard’s face gently, “I went to go get food, remember?”
“Oh… Yeah, I remember.” He looked up at Frank guiltily. “I threw up in the sink.” He confessed, his cheeks flushing pink.
“Mm, I know,” said Frank, playing with Gerard’s hair, “S’okay though, I washed it away. You okay?” Gerard yawned and nodded his head, then fixed his eyes on Frank’s, taking in every detail, every subtle change in colour from green, to hazel, to brown. Frank noticed and smiled. “I told you not to drink,” he whispered, “If you’re not gonna listen to me, shit like that’ll happen.” He laughed then stood up and walked over to pick up the white plastic bag he’d brought back from the store. “Wanna see what I bought?” he called.
“Sure,” said Gerard, stretching his legs out on the floor, his black jeans spotted with dirt from the kitchen floor. The bag rustled as Frank pulled various items out of it and placed them neatly on the floor next to Gerard.

“Okay,” he said, sitting cross-legged next to them, “I thought I should get cheap stuff that’s gonna last a while in case we run out of money or something, so I got, like, eighteen cans of soup ‘cause they were, like, forty cents each. I got a couple of boxes of cereal too, I mean I didn’t buy any milk because it’d just go past sell by date in about three days, but we can eat it dry, right? And I know you’d rather have meat but I got some chicken tofu because then we can eat the same thing and it lasts longer, too. Same goes for this shit, I think it’s meant to be like beef or something…” Frank went on for another few minutes about the boring, below-average things he’d bought whilst Gerard chewed the side of his nail, not really concentrating on what Frank was saying but watching him closely. He loved seeing Frank happy about something and he looked almost excited over what he’d bought – it had been a while since they’d had real food, after all (assuming this could class as ‘real food’). Gerard smiled whilst he watched Frank, happy that he was happy.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me!” Frank giggled, spotting Gerard’s expression, “This took a lot of thought, you should appreciate it – unless you wanna go next time?” Gerard’s smile vanished and he scowled at Frank, sticking out his bottom lip.
“Hey, you know I don’t go out,” he said, sulking with his arms wrapped round his chest.
“Sociopath,” Frank teased, sticking his tongue out. Gerard’s face softened.
“I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh, “I’d go out but, I dunno, I just… Don’t wanna.” Frank nodded
“I know. You don’t have to go out, Gerard, I just…” Frank pushed his hair back off of his face, “I wish you would, y’know?” Gerard looked down, his long eyelashes hiding his eyes.
“I know, I… I know.” He rubbed his eyes with his right hand, he didn’t want Frank to see him cry; Frank noticed anyway. He noticed everything.
“Hey,” he said, comfortingly, “Hey, don’t worry, it’s okay, alright?” Frank put down the can of soup in his hand and walked over to where Gerard was sitting, dropping down next to him and squeezing his hand tightly. “It’s okay. When you wanna come out, and I know you will soon, I’ll be there with you, I promise. Everything’ll be okay, you know. There’s nothing to worry about out there,” Frank waved his hand towards the door, “Especially when you’re with me, because you know I’ll always look after you.” He leaned up and kissed Gerard’s cheek softly, feeling the warmth from his skin touch his lips for a second and smelling coffee and cigarettes, and the faintest smell of alcohol. Gerard looked at Frank gratefully, his hazel eyes damp but not with any more new tears. His white hair flicked across his forehead messily as he put his arm around Frank’s shoulder. “I love you, Frank,” he said, stroking his shoulder gently.
“I love you too,” Frank smiled, looking into Gerard’s eyes in a way that showed how much he meant it without any need for elaborate description or compliments. Gerard loved it when Frank looked at him like that. He was just so pretty. Gerard wanted to hold him like this forever and never let anyone hurt him, he wanted to keep him safe and happy and so, so beautiful. He stretched out his arm and touched the side of Frank’s face as gently as he could, not wanting to do anything but touch him, make sure he was really here and really his. His fingertips graced Frank’s soft, warm cheek like raindrops landing in water and Frank smiled slightly on one side of his mouth, moving closer to Gerard and holding his waist tenderly. Gerard’s fingers curled round and ran across Frank’s smooth pink lips, feeling the subtle hint of dry skin along the outside of them and the tiny creases that split his bottom lip so slightly, his hand cold against Frank’s warm mouth. Frank sucked the inside of his cheek then shuffled closer and pressed his lips longingly against Gerard’s, which were pale, cracked and dry, but he didn’t care, he needed to kiss him.

Gerard closed his eyes and held Frank’s upper back with both hands, moving his lips against Frank’s warmheartedly, as though he hadn’t been touched in weeks. Frank held the back of Gerard’s neck, stroking the side with his thumb and kissing his bottom lip softly, breathing slowly and savouring the rare intimacy that they’d been allowed. He climbed up onto Gerard’s knee and held his waist, keeping the kiss going for as long as he could, trying to make the taste and the rush last a little longer, needy yet patient. Gerard leaned down a little more against the sink, pressing Frank’s chest against his own and arching his back up just enough to bring them closer together in the freezing kitchen. He held Frank’s waist with both hands then wrapped both arms around his back, humming softly into his mouth and holding him tightly, almost possessively, as he slid down further when Frank pushed down instinctively, involuntarily nudging him until he wasn’t far from lying down. “Gerard,” he breathed, pulling away reluctantly, “I love you so much,” he brushed Gerard’s hair away from his damp forehead and held his shoulders tenderly as Gerard smiled on one side and kissed Frank’s bottom lip, his presence remaining for at least three seconds afterwards. “I love you too,” he said before moving over to kiss along Frank’s jaw softly, not moving his hands from Frank’s back.

“Can we stay here for a while?” Frank asked, rubbing the back of Gerard’s neck slowly, “I…I like being close to you.” His cheeks went warm and flushed a subtle pink.
“Mm,” Gerard nodded contentedly and rested his chin on Frank’s shoulder, his cheek rubbing against the scorpion inked onto his neck. He closed his eyes and held him tightly, almost in the way a drowning person would hold onto a life preserver in a shipwreck, unable to let go of this one piece of safety they had left, willing it not to let them sink. Gerard screwed up his eyes and bit his lip, holding Frank even tighter, silently begging him not to let him fall into the vast nothingness below him and trusting that he wouldn’t. Frank would never let him drown, of course he wouldn’t, he couldn’t just abandon him, and he’d always be there to hold him up and to stop him from sinking, always.

“Frank?” Gerard croaked, silent salt water leaking from his eyes as he bit down on his lip, hard, tasting blood.
“Mm?” Frank hummed, stroking the back of Gerard’s head comfortingly with his short fingernails, his dark eyes closed as Gerard’s opened.
“You can swim, can’t you?”