Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Burning In Hell
The more she thought about it, the worse everything got. The next two days were a living hell for Courtney. Her father wouldn't stop what he was doing, and that minimized how much she got to see Gerard, and that made the agony worsen.
She just wanted nothing more than to tell Gerard everything that happened, and have him tell her everything would be okay, and have him comfort her. And as the days grew longer, and the time passed slower, she hated nearly every second, just wanting to be with Gerard.
Something she hated that she realized was that she was becoming... addicted to Gerard, almost like a drug, which only made it harder when she would be away from him, doing whatever her father forced her to. Hell, she felt guilty just being around Gerard, considering everything her father was doing.
It got to the point where she just wanted to tell Kelly everything, have it be out in the open, or at least make sure her best friend knows her biggest secrets, the things she swore on her life she would keep, and take to her grave.
As much as she tried to forget, the memories poured in at the worst times. She couldn't be near Gerard without thinking about it, and that only made her feel guilty. She hated it. She hated avoiding Gerard, she hated being secluded in her bedroom, she hated seeing everyone so happy, all the while knowing that she most likely won't be that happy again for a long time.
Every time she was in third period, all she could do was grin and bear it, occasionally cringing at the memories flooding in. She got asked why she was so distant from everybody else, but she just ignored them. She just didn't want anyone to talk to her, she wanted to forget all of her problems, maybe even forget the world. Maybe then she could at least smile.
She did get called emo by a few people, mostly the football team and cheerleaders, but just brushed it off, ignoring that they even existed. She just wanted to feel more comfortable around Gerard, even in the slightest.
"You're overreacting," she told Kelly. It had been about a week since she had been acting this way, and it was starting to really bug her. "I'm fine, Kelly, I promise."
"And what if I say I don't believe you?" Kelly inquired, crossing her arms.
"I'd find some way to prove it. Seriously, Kelly, I'm just fine," she told her friend, patting her shoulder. She was a damn good liar. "Wouldn't I tell you if something was wrong?"
Kelly shrugged, saying, "Yeah, I guess. But you've been ignoring me a lot lately, who's to say you're not just gonna keep something huge from me?" her theoretical question made Courtney nervous.
She kept everything a secret from Kelly. Gerard, her father, what was next? Would she suddenly become a drug addict and keep that from her, too? She hated keeping this from her, this was her best friend she was lying to.
"Kelly, would you hate me if I told you I was keeping a few... large secrets?" she asked. She knew the way Kelly's mind worked, and she knew there would be a possibility of her hating her after it would all be said and done.
"Depending," she said sarcastically. Courtney's eyebrows raised, her head cocked to the side. "I was only kidding, Courtney! Come on, if there's something you need to tell me, it's fine. I won't judge you! Whatever it is, insect, murder, rape, all of the above, I won't care!"
Courtney sighed. She was ready to just tell her, come hell or high water. She just didn't want to keep it from her best friend anymore.
~x~
After a while, Courtney just felt sick to her stomach. She felt like she betrayed Gerard by telling Kelly. Hell, she was damn sure this would cost him his job because she was tired of lying to a damned friend.
"You could have just told me, you know," Kelly said, walking back into the room. "Why would I have gotten mad? I mean, sure, I understand that you wanted to keep it a secret that you were dating our teacher, and that you wouldn't want to remember what the fuck your dad did, but I wouldn't have judged you. Though, isn't Mr. Way, like, really old?" she asked.
Courtney chuckled, "You'd be surprised, it seems. Gerard's only twenty-five, and damn good looking for someone his age," she swooned, thoughts of Gerard and how... amazing he was flooded into mind.
"Well, it explains always being held after class, why you're passing his class —"
"Actually, I did that one all on my own. I don't need to date my teacher to pass an easy class," she explained.
"Well, you don't need to rub it in. I get it, you're good in English class," she muttered, watching her friend, get up, walking to her phone. "Does Mr. Way know what your dad did?" she asked, placing her head on her hand.
Courtney's head shook. "Nope. And I'm planning on it staying that way for a while," she told her, throwing Kelly's phone at her. "He'll freak out if he finds out, and I like Gerard calm. Or at least not going off the deep end."
"I doubt he'll get that upset about it," Kelly stated, placing her phone in her pocket. "He can't just go insane because of that... could he?"
"Clearly, you don't know a normal human being. Of course he'll go crazy, especially when I say it was my father!" Courtney exclaimed, biting her thumb nail. "I can't just go up to him and tell him, Kelly. I'm not even sure how I'm suppose to tell him."
Kelly sighed, resting her back on the wall. "I could talk to him if you really need me to," she offered.
Courtney looked up at her, smiling. "Kelly, you don't have to do that for me," she told her, sitting beside her.
"I want to!" she exclaimed. "Look, you're obviously not gonna tell him. You're too freaked out about what he'll say, or what his immediate reaction will be."
Courtney heaved a sighed, leaning her head back as far as it would go, hitting it against the wall. "Okay, fine. But, if he freaks out, just tell him to talk to me."
"Got it."
She just wanted nothing more than to tell Gerard everything that happened, and have him tell her everything would be okay, and have him comfort her. And as the days grew longer, and the time passed slower, she hated nearly every second, just wanting to be with Gerard.
Something she hated that she realized was that she was becoming... addicted to Gerard, almost like a drug, which only made it harder when she would be away from him, doing whatever her father forced her to. Hell, she felt guilty just being around Gerard, considering everything her father was doing.
It got to the point where she just wanted to tell Kelly everything, have it be out in the open, or at least make sure her best friend knows her biggest secrets, the things she swore on her life she would keep, and take to her grave.
As much as she tried to forget, the memories poured in at the worst times. She couldn't be near Gerard without thinking about it, and that only made her feel guilty. She hated it. She hated avoiding Gerard, she hated being secluded in her bedroom, she hated seeing everyone so happy, all the while knowing that she most likely won't be that happy again for a long time.
Every time she was in third period, all she could do was grin and bear it, occasionally cringing at the memories flooding in. She got asked why she was so distant from everybody else, but she just ignored them. She just didn't want anyone to talk to her, she wanted to forget all of her problems, maybe even forget the world. Maybe then she could at least smile.
She did get called emo by a few people, mostly the football team and cheerleaders, but just brushed it off, ignoring that they even existed. She just wanted to feel more comfortable around Gerard, even in the slightest.
"You're overreacting," she told Kelly. It had been about a week since she had been acting this way, and it was starting to really bug her. "I'm fine, Kelly, I promise."
"And what if I say I don't believe you?" Kelly inquired, crossing her arms.
"I'd find some way to prove it. Seriously, Kelly, I'm just fine," she told her friend, patting her shoulder. She was a damn good liar. "Wouldn't I tell you if something was wrong?"
Kelly shrugged, saying, "Yeah, I guess. But you've been ignoring me a lot lately, who's to say you're not just gonna keep something huge from me?" her theoretical question made Courtney nervous.
She kept everything a secret from Kelly. Gerard, her father, what was next? Would she suddenly become a drug addict and keep that from her, too? She hated keeping this from her, this was her best friend she was lying to.
"Kelly, would you hate me if I told you I was keeping a few... large secrets?" she asked. She knew the way Kelly's mind worked, and she knew there would be a possibility of her hating her after it would all be said and done.
"Depending," she said sarcastically. Courtney's eyebrows raised, her head cocked to the side. "I was only kidding, Courtney! Come on, if there's something you need to tell me, it's fine. I won't judge you! Whatever it is, insect, murder, rape, all of the above, I won't care!"
Courtney sighed. She was ready to just tell her, come hell or high water. She just didn't want to keep it from her best friend anymore.
~x~
After a while, Courtney just felt sick to her stomach. She felt like she betrayed Gerard by telling Kelly. Hell, she was damn sure this would cost him his job because she was tired of lying to a damned friend.
"You could have just told me, you know," Kelly said, walking back into the room. "Why would I have gotten mad? I mean, sure, I understand that you wanted to keep it a secret that you were dating our teacher, and that you wouldn't want to remember what the fuck your dad did, but I wouldn't have judged you. Though, isn't Mr. Way, like, really old?" she asked.
Courtney chuckled, "You'd be surprised, it seems. Gerard's only twenty-five, and damn good looking for someone his age," she swooned, thoughts of Gerard and how... amazing he was flooded into mind.
"Well, it explains always being held after class, why you're passing his class —"
"Actually, I did that one all on my own. I don't need to date my teacher to pass an easy class," she explained.
"Well, you don't need to rub it in. I get it, you're good in English class," she muttered, watching her friend, get up, walking to her phone. "Does Mr. Way know what your dad did?" she asked, placing her head on her hand.
Courtney's head shook. "Nope. And I'm planning on it staying that way for a while," she told her, throwing Kelly's phone at her. "He'll freak out if he finds out, and I like Gerard calm. Or at least not going off the deep end."
"I doubt he'll get that upset about it," Kelly stated, placing her phone in her pocket. "He can't just go insane because of that... could he?"
"Clearly, you don't know a normal human being. Of course he'll go crazy, especially when I say it was my father!" Courtney exclaimed, biting her thumb nail. "I can't just go up to him and tell him, Kelly. I'm not even sure how I'm suppose to tell him."
Kelly sighed, resting her back on the wall. "I could talk to him if you really need me to," she offered.
Courtney looked up at her, smiling. "Kelly, you don't have to do that for me," she told her, sitting beside her.
"I want to!" she exclaimed. "Look, you're obviously not gonna tell him. You're too freaked out about what he'll say, or what his immediate reaction will be."
Courtney heaved a sighed, leaning her head back as far as it would go, hitting it against the wall. "Okay, fine. But, if he freaks out, just tell him to talk to me."
"Got it."
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