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I clicked the lock so that no one could come in. I even put the chair under the knob of the door to make it extra hard. I stared at my pill packet. I’ve got just enough Dianette, Fluoxitine and Melatonin to do the trick. I sat down in the bath filled with water even though I was fully clothed, popped all the pills in my mouth, and drank the ice cold water I put on the side of the bath. I wasn’t always this way. I used to be happy.

In fact, I used to be the happiest person anyone knew. People would be stunned because I loved brussel sprouts, and that always gave me a massive buzz. I loved making other people impressed with me. I don’t like brussel sprouts anymore though. I don’t like anything anymore. My whole life has been a lie, and now the only thing left to do is end it. I was depressed years before I found out though. This story is what happened when, and after I found out.

‘What do you mean? Why didn’t you tell me before?’ I screeched at my mum.

‘Penina, don’t be disheartened. She wanted a closed adoption. This was a period of her life that she wanted to close off. She did love you, but she just couldn’t cope.’ My so-called mum, Talia, said.

‘Don’t you dare fucking defend her. I can’t believe this! I’m going to that concert in a few days’ time. You couldn’t tell me before? Before you even bought the tickets. How am I supposed to enjoy myself? I can’t do this.’ I shouted. ‘I have no fucking clue who my dad is. Gerard, who I’ve looked up to for years is now my step-dad, and I can’t handle this.’ I screamed. I ran to my room which is on the 1st floor, and slammed the door. We didn’t have enough bedrooms when we moved in. So, of course, me being the runt of the family, or in this case, not in the family at all, has to sleep in the coldest room. At first, I slept in the dining room, but I hated the noise of people walking through, so I ended up sleeping in the massive lounge. That was freezing cold, but I had to sleep in there for a year until my mum’s partner partitioned it, and put some carpet on the wooden floor, and now I have my own bedroom. I can hear everything around the house though, and I hate it. I hate how my mum didn’t want me. I hate how she just gave me up like that. I hate everything now. Well, not everything. There is still one guy who I knew I could call.

’You’ve reached the best friend hotline, how may I help you?’ Zeke asked once he picked up.

‘Giving me something strong enough that will help me forget my stupid existence.’ I replied.

‘Penina, for the last time, I’m not a drug dealer.’ He argued. Then he heard me sniffling. ’Are you alright?’

‘Nope. Not in the least. You know that band I showed you? The one with the bass player who you thought was sexy as hell?’ I asked.

‘LynZ? Oh yeah, I’d do her. Unless… Oh god. Did she die? Is that why you’re crying?’ He asked. I shook my head even though I knew he couldn’t see.

‘Nope. It’s worse than that. She’s my mum. She gave me up for a closed adoption.’ I answered.

‘Come on Penina, I know you think I can be stupid, but I know that’s a lie.’ He said. I could hear him eating.

‘Zeke, it’s not a lie, and stop eating. I know it’s virtually impossible for you to get fat, but you’ve had 6 lunches today. One day the food is just going to reappear in your stomach and your fatness will show.’ I said.

‘First of all, it’s pizza, so shut your mouth, and second of all, I’ve known you for what? 3 years? It’s probably another one of your stupid jokes.’ He said.

‘This isn’t one of those jokes, that aren’t stupid by the way, they’re the best jokes of all time. I’m being serious. I’ll send you a copy of my birth and adoption certificate.’ I said.

’Fine. I’ll call you back when I get them which will be when someone’s perfected the art of biologically changing your parents which will be in never.’ He said. I groaned, hung up, and sent him the pictures. A few seconds after, he started calling me, but I couldn’t be bothered to talk to him right now. I couldn’t be bothered to talk to anyone. I just wanted this all to be some sort of bad dream. But it wasn’t.

LynZ’s my mum. She doesn’t even care about me. She would’ve if it was an open adoption or she talked about it in interviews, but she didn’t. I feel like I was just some rubbish that was clogging up her teenage bedroom, so she just threw me out. I felt like that my whole life, even when I was being praised. It just felt fake. Now I know whenever someone tells me that I look just like my mum or dad, I know they’ll be lying. I look like neither of them. They’re not mine. I’m not theirs. I’m no ones. I belong to no one. I feel empty. I know what I have to do though. When I go to the concert, I need to let her know I’m there.

I need her to know that I’m still her daughter, and that I want to get to know her. I’m going to have to put a lot of hard work into this, but if it goes according to plan, I may just be able to see my mum. I may be able to get her to see me again, and maybe this time, just maybe, she might love me again. She might want to take me back. I want a mum. I want my mum. When my mum gave birth to me, she was Lindsey Ballato. Now, she’s LynZ Way. Maybe this version of her will like me more. Maybe she’ll like me now that I’m all grown up. I hope so anyway. I’m going to need a lot of help with it though.

Hey guys! Those are all real pills that I take by the way, but enough about me... I hope you liked this chapter! Don't worry! As far as I think I'm going, no one will die in this story. UNLIKE IN ORPHAN AND HOZZIE YOU SCARED ME SO MUCH MY GOD!!! THAT WAS THE FREAKIEST THING I'VE EVER READ!!! Haha. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. I love LynZ so much. I wish she was my mum... how awesome would that be?!? She seems like the most perfect mum ever, and she's just an awesome woman!!! I want this story to have rates and reviews, so, rate and review please!!! Oh, and I still need more characters. The auditions are still open!!! I think I'll allow someone to audition for Ray's wife too okay?!? Haha. XD xx