Categories > Celebrities > AFI > A Thousand Scars
Losing Hope & Your Past
0 reviewsAshley can't help but lose hope, as Davey is appalled by what he reads in the files on the Outlaw's past.
0Unrated
Back in his seclusion room, Ashley was beginning to lose hope. He hadn't heard from Davey after the day that the other man came in to say that the only one left was Andy. But the truth was, Davey should've said that there was no one else left. He didn't expect Andy to say yes to helping him, especially considering the fact that they had quickly fallen apart over Ashley's issues, and the huge spat that they'd gotten into within a few days before the Outlaw had wound himself up in this shithole.
However, the thoughts soon passed out of his mind, as they were wont to do what with his overtly drugged state. He was just so fucking sick of all these drugs that if he wasn't suicidal and depressed before, he certainly was now. And if he was that before, then he didn't know what he was now.
Meanwhile, in his portable potty of an office, Davey was busy reviewing Ashley's bulging files in between clients. He was shocked at how young some of the children were, and how much they were taking. If he wasn't mistaken, most of those drugs he could swear that he had heard the disclaimers and warnings for most of them being unpleasant, such as "Not approved for children under 18', and 'May cause suicidal thoughts or actions', and the whole laundry list of nasty side effects for even the mildest of medications.
*]
[*(A/N: This is true, most medications, even ones given to children as young as 12 or so, maybe even younger, such as abilify and prozac have lists of side effects as long as my arm, maybe longer. Sad thing is, the doctors won't tell you that. Even if it's something that could be life threatening, like heart failure, blood disorders etc. And yes, mice given prozac tended to have a higher incidence of cancer than the mice not given the drug, yet of course FDA and pharmaceutical companies haven't put out that warning because there 'Isn't enough evidence' as the drug hasn't been out long. But watch, in like 20 years there's going to be a huge amount of cancer sufferers just because they LOVE handing out prozac without knowing the longterm consequences.....)
Several said that they were feeling 'fine', even though they were so out of it that they couldn't focus their eyes, and their speech was slow and slurred. Then, Davey realized by quick glances into their files that they were only saying that because in the past every time that they said they weren't doing well, ro were getting side effects, other medications were added, and the dosages were upped.
Sadly, while he realized how fucked up this place was, he only had a few minutes with each patient, and he couldn't go around yanking patients off the medication without causing a shit storm. As it stood, he couldn't cause a shit storm before saving Ashley, so he did the most that he could get away with, and still keep his job. He removed some medications from the really drugged up ones, lowered some dosages, and even let a couple off completely free, told to follow up in a month or two. IF he were asked, he'd say he had concerns the drugs were negating each other, or might react badly together, and that the doses were so high that it might do damage, and they didn't want a lawsuit if anything went wrong, now did they? And the ones let off was because they had begged for it, and he just wanted to show them that they couldn't function without the pills they were taking all them time. Of course, this was all bullshit that he was hocking up from the back of his throat, but he was going to play their stupid little games just to get what he wanted. Even so, he felt rather guilty about it, considering that he wasn't very manipulative by nature.
Somehow, he found the time to start reading through Ashley's files. The kid certainly had a fucked up life.
About 2 years after the initial visit with the psychologist, he had been made to go see the same man, who yet again asked his parents the questions and ignored Ashley, and his parents were all too happy to lie about it. However, this time, Ashley left the room. He claimed he was looking for a bathroom and got lost. They still put him on a 72 hour hold, saying that he 'tried to run away'. They put him on anti-depressants the same day, apparently before he even saw a doctor. He was 13 at the time.
Several weeks after, maybe a month or so tops, he was thrown back into a hospital, because this time, someone with the name of Dahvie Vanity said that Ashley was cutting in front of him. That report, from the police, seeing as he had been taken from school by officers, stated that Purdy denied it, but upon searching his bag, they found a small exacto knife thing, it's blade barely a centimeter long. He denied knowledge of It being there. Said he wouldn't knowingly bring something like that to school. He was answered with another 72 hour hold.
Then, Davey's lunch break ended, and he had to go back to work. Vaguely, he wondered if he could stay late to finish reading the rest of this file. He also noted that a lot of the file was composed of those pointless notes on what the man ate, how much he slept, how many pairs of socks his mother brought him while he was in the hospital, and things like that. That was information that Davey didn't want or need to know,, yet here it was clogging up the files with unimportant shit when he just wanted the important details.
*]
[*A/N: Everything in Ashley's past that Davey is reading about is actually shit that happened to me...
However, the thoughts soon passed out of his mind, as they were wont to do what with his overtly drugged state. He was just so fucking sick of all these drugs that if he wasn't suicidal and depressed before, he certainly was now. And if he was that before, then he didn't know what he was now.
Meanwhile, in his portable potty of an office, Davey was busy reviewing Ashley's bulging files in between clients. He was shocked at how young some of the children were, and how much they were taking. If he wasn't mistaken, most of those drugs he could swear that he had heard the disclaimers and warnings for most of them being unpleasant, such as "Not approved for children under 18', and 'May cause suicidal thoughts or actions', and the whole laundry list of nasty side effects for even the mildest of medications.
*]
[*(A/N: This is true, most medications, even ones given to children as young as 12 or so, maybe even younger, such as abilify and prozac have lists of side effects as long as my arm, maybe longer. Sad thing is, the doctors won't tell you that. Even if it's something that could be life threatening, like heart failure, blood disorders etc. And yes, mice given prozac tended to have a higher incidence of cancer than the mice not given the drug, yet of course FDA and pharmaceutical companies haven't put out that warning because there 'Isn't enough evidence' as the drug hasn't been out long. But watch, in like 20 years there's going to be a huge amount of cancer sufferers just because they LOVE handing out prozac without knowing the longterm consequences.....)
Several said that they were feeling 'fine', even though they were so out of it that they couldn't focus their eyes, and their speech was slow and slurred. Then, Davey realized by quick glances into their files that they were only saying that because in the past every time that they said they weren't doing well, ro were getting side effects, other medications were added, and the dosages were upped.
Sadly, while he realized how fucked up this place was, he only had a few minutes with each patient, and he couldn't go around yanking patients off the medication without causing a shit storm. As it stood, he couldn't cause a shit storm before saving Ashley, so he did the most that he could get away with, and still keep his job. He removed some medications from the really drugged up ones, lowered some dosages, and even let a couple off completely free, told to follow up in a month or two. IF he were asked, he'd say he had concerns the drugs were negating each other, or might react badly together, and that the doses were so high that it might do damage, and they didn't want a lawsuit if anything went wrong, now did they? And the ones let off was because they had begged for it, and he just wanted to show them that they couldn't function without the pills they were taking all them time. Of course, this was all bullshit that he was hocking up from the back of his throat, but he was going to play their stupid little games just to get what he wanted. Even so, he felt rather guilty about it, considering that he wasn't very manipulative by nature.
Somehow, he found the time to start reading through Ashley's files. The kid certainly had a fucked up life.
About 2 years after the initial visit with the psychologist, he had been made to go see the same man, who yet again asked his parents the questions and ignored Ashley, and his parents were all too happy to lie about it. However, this time, Ashley left the room. He claimed he was looking for a bathroom and got lost. They still put him on a 72 hour hold, saying that he 'tried to run away'. They put him on anti-depressants the same day, apparently before he even saw a doctor. He was 13 at the time.
Several weeks after, maybe a month or so tops, he was thrown back into a hospital, because this time, someone with the name of Dahvie Vanity said that Ashley was cutting in front of him. That report, from the police, seeing as he had been taken from school by officers, stated that Purdy denied it, but upon searching his bag, they found a small exacto knife thing, it's blade barely a centimeter long. He denied knowledge of It being there. Said he wouldn't knowingly bring something like that to school. He was answered with another 72 hour hold.
Then, Davey's lunch break ended, and he had to go back to work. Vaguely, he wondered if he could stay late to finish reading the rest of this file. He also noted that a lot of the file was composed of those pointless notes on what the man ate, how much he slept, how many pairs of socks his mother brought him while he was in the hospital, and things like that. That was information that Davey didn't want or need to know,, yet here it was clogging up the files with unimportant shit when he just wanted the important details.
*]
[*A/N: Everything in Ashley's past that Davey is reading about is actually shit that happened to me...
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