I'm trying to think of detailed critique, but it's difficult, because it's simply good story. It's interesting reading, enjoyable interaction, and Lulu and Cid sound exactly like Lulu and Cid. I enjoy the tiny touches of humor -- Tidus bounding all over the ship to meet people, a strange game artifact explained IC! -- and Lulu's shrewd comment that the priesthood was afraid of Kimahri.
One thought, which storyless and I discuss sometimes: Lulu's an interesting puzzle as far as her faith. She genuinely believes in Yevon, it seems; she's the one who says they have to go back to Bevelle and atone when they kill Seymour. But she is also able to see where the flaws in the system are; she tells Wakka that if Seymour's at fault, he needs to be held to account. So she seems to believe in Yevon as Yuna does -- ethically -- more than lip service. Also, her last pilgrimage was with a priest. Oh, I'm being longwinded, but you see what I'm getting at... she can understand the Al Bhed perspective better than hidebound Wakka, but I'm betting that she doesn't share Auron's total cynicism for Yevon. After the trial in Bevelle, I expect a bit more from her, if you carry the story that far!
Author's responseThank you! I'm glad the story continues to entertain you!
Lulu's faith is definitely going to be coming up in the story; I don't think I could write a story developing a relationship that would be so looked down on by her religion without spending some time on that. And, yes, the story will get to the trial in Bevelle. If it goes as plan and doesn't suddenly veer off course in the future it'll run parallel to the game right up to the end of it, and then finish up slightly afterit.
(#) Cerise_Tennyo 2007-09-16Now this was a rare treat: a well-rounded story, focusing on other chracters, with a pairing that holds together.
I loved the little touches in here--Lulu looking askance at the drink Cid offers her because Yevon forbids alcohol to women, Wakka thinking Lulu's losing her mind because she seems to have a two-way conversation with a 'stick'. There's a great deal said in the game about the Teachings (sorry, it just seems to require a capital letter), but aside from forbidding machina, we don't know what they are. Bravo for fleshing that out!
I read the whole story in one sitting, and I have to say, this couple, as you've written them, works as well, if not better, than canon pairings. I could go on and on, but I'll close this with a thank you for a great story. I'm looking forward to more. :)
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