Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Drowning Lessons

You're So Cold

by IndiaGirl 0 reviews

"I really don't want to tell you Frank, it'll ruin you."

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2012-12-16 - Updated: 2012-12-16 - 2785 words - Complete

Frank sat in the chair, opposite the woman, sighing.
"How is Gerard, so far?" She asked, pensively.
"Completely normal, very nice actually." Frank smiled softly, shrugging.
"Really? You're not convincing me," She replied, watching him intently, a little too intently for Frank's liking.
"Honestly, he's really sweet." Frank blushed, smiling.
"What makes you say that?"
"Just some nice things, he's done for me." Frank smiled, feeling the pain in his chest.
"Hm," She nodded, obviously slightly surprised. "He hasn't tried to hurt you?" Frank shook his head.
"Nope," He shrugged.
"Wow," She wrote down something in her file, before putting it away and selecting what Frank assumed was his own. "Now, I'd like to talk a little bit about why you're in here." Frank shook his head.
"Please, no." He begged, not wanting to speak.
"I don't want to talk about it either, Frank, but I am obligated to do so." She paused. "Have you stopped?"
"You don't need to know, if I have or haven't." Frank stated, crossing his arms.
"I do, unfortunately." She sighed, pushing her glasses up her nose. "The sooner you stop, and we feel you're more mentally stable, the sooner you can be out of here."
"I don't want to leave." Frank stated, shrugging.
"Is that so?"
Frank nodded, sighing. "I'm guessing you know my background?"
"Ah, vaguely." She read through the file. "They don't tend to talk much about it, in these files. Only the facts, the events. My job, is to fill in the emotional blanks, you see." Frank nodded.
"Well, I don't like school life, or my home life, but I feel kinda comfortable here."
"What makes it so?"
"Being bullied, every hour of everyday. Being attacked and injured, by your own family. Feeling like everyone hates you. That's what makes it so." She nodded in understanding.
"I see," She filled in the file and closed it, resting her arms on it. "My name is Doctor Reynolds. If you ever need to speak to someone, I'm here, Frank." Frank nodded.
"Can I tell you something I need to get off my chest?"
"Of course," She nodded. "That's what I'm here for."
"I have feelings for Gerard." Frank sighed, standing up, walking out of her office, wandering back to his room.

Frank had already gone before she could say anything more to him. And boy, did she have a lot to warn him about. Gerard was nowhere to be seen in the room, but Frank could definitely hear him. Gerard had hidden himself, curled up in the hole in the wall behind the cupboard, which very few people knew of. Frank sat at the table.
"Gerard, I know you're there." He smiled softly.
"No you don't," Gerard replied, still sniffling. He felt at a loss without the use of his drawing hand, and had very little to do otherwise. He had a blanket with him, a lighter, and a packet of cigarettes.
"Gerard, please, I just wanna talk to you." Frank sighed softly, looking at the cupboard. Gerard lit a cigarette, doing as he usually would, waiting for himself to pass out from the smoke as it filled the small cavern.
"I don't want to talk," He mumbled, resting his head back, inhaling deeply.
"Suit yourself," Frank replied, climbing the bunk, sitting on his bed, "Did you find my calligraphy?" He smiled softly, asking. Gerard replied, drowsily. "Uhuh.. I'was nice," He mumbled, shutting his eyes.
"For fucks sake." Frank mumbled, jumping off the bed, pulling the cupboard to the side, opening the cavern. Smoke leaked out in large quantities, leaving Frank coughing and his eyes watering as he looked through it to find Gerard. Gerard was passed out by now, his head tilted against his shoulder, his limbs sprawled, his lighter held loosely in his hands. Frank shook his head softly, taking Gerard in his arms, placing him on his bed, and closing the cavern.
"For fucks sake, Gerard." He sighed, stroking the older boy's cheek, hoping he'd wake up. Gerard could hear but couldn't respond. He moved his fingers as a way of replying, willing his body to move and failing. Frank smiled softly.
"You scared the shit outta me," He sighed in relief, taking Gerard hand, gently. Gerard wriggled softly, trying his best to form his response. He squeezed Frank's hand to ensure him. Frank smiled, gazing at the older boy, pulling the chair from underneath the desk, sitting next to him as Gerard laid on the bed.
"Sssory." Gerard mumbled, keeping his eyes shut until he felt he could will them to open. Frank shook his head.
"Honestly, don't apologize," He smiled faintly, stroking the back of Gerard's hand, with his thumb. Gerard felt a little feeling, clinging onto Frank's hand as he tried to pull himself from the darkness. Frank kept hold of his hand, gently, but still tight and comforting. Gerard flickered open his eyes, keeping a grip on Frank's hand, holding it far too tightly than he should have. Frank smiled happily, sighing in relief as he saw Gerard open his eyes.
"It's okay." He reassured, stoking Gerard's hand with his thumb.
"I like passing out," Gerard finally added, getting his words back. "I like it."
"Well, I don't. It scares me, a lot." Frank noted, blushing, "I may of met you, a few days ago, but I care about you."
"Nice to know," Gerard shrugged. "But I can't get hurt, in there. I've done it loads of times before, except I always awake in the infirmary. I don't know how I get there."
"People carry you, like I carried you over here." Frank added, letting go of his hand, thinking he would find it awkward and uncomfortable.
"Oh," Gerard breathed, beginning to cough the smoke from his lungs. "There's only been one time when I woke up in there, but that was the first time. And it was worse, I guess." Frank nodded.
"Sorry about the calligraphy, I got bored and I thought you might like it." He lied, blushing.
"I liked it. It was good." Gerard replied, shutting his eyes. He sat up abruptly, clutching at his stomach, spluttering and coughing. Frank patted him gently on the back, smiling softly. Gerard continued coughing until his throat felt red raw. He lay back, letting his eyes shut and allowing his limbs to fall past him and sprawl over the edge of the particularly uncomfortable bed. Frank placed a hand on Gerard's mattress, pressing down, then standing on the chair, doing the same to his bed.
"Have my bed, seriously, it's much comfier." Gerard mumbled something softly in reply.
"I don't usually sleep in my bed anyway, it feels comfy compared to where I usually sleep."
"Well, right now, you need somewhere comfortable to lay down. I'd carry you, but you might find it weird." Frank shrugged, giggling.
"It's okay, honnes-t.." Gerard mumbled, falling back to sleep. Frank rolled his eyes, sitting back on the chair, slightly worried about him.

When Frank awoke, Dr Reynolds was already sat on the bed beside Gerard, looking at him and sighing. Frank yawned, knowing he must of fallen asleep. He looked at Dr Reynolds, smiling softly.
"Hello Dr." She nodded to him, keeping her gaze on Gerard.
"Hello, Frank." She said, softly. "Did he smoke himself out?" Frank nodded.
"Yeah, I've been looking after him, but I must of fallen asleep," He shrugged, looking down, seeing Gerard's hand, holding onto his own.
"He's better than usual." She sighed, rubbing her head. "We keep taking his cigarettes away and he just.. Finds them again." Frank nodded sadly, sighing, stroking Gerard's hand with his thumb, comfortingly.
"How are those feelings working out for you?"
"Um...I still have them, but I can't tell him, because I know he won't feel the same. So, a little heart broken, to be completely honest." Frank sighed.
"I want you to be careful, about telling him, you know. He doesn't respond well, especially when people push it on him."
"How do I tell him?" Frank asked, softly.
"Knowing Gerard.." She looked down at him, fondly. "He already knows. Scary, it can be, sometimes."
"What do you mean?" Frank asked.
"He just knows." She paused, sighing. "He just knows things." Frank sighed.
"Fuck," He shook his head softly.
"It's always frightened us, but we assume it's just a skill that he possesses." She scratched behind her ear gently. "He seems quite comfortable with you, though, I suppose, he nearly always does."
"Again, explain. He just sees me as a friend, I think." Frank shrugged.
"He doesn't get close to people. And when he does.." She sighed. "You've heard about his previous roommates."
"He saved me though." Frank admitted, "I feel like he kinda cares about me," He blushed, shrugging.
"I really shouldn't tell you, much more. It's confidential." She sighed. "And saved you?" Frank rolled up his sleeves, revealing bandaged arms, reluctantly.
"He did this, he threw my blades away and he took care of me." He smiled softly. She nodded, worriedly.
"I'm very frightened for you, Frank. Please stay wary, even if you do have feelings for him."
"Why? He wouldn't hurt me." Frank pushed. She pursed her lips.
"I can't explain, it would.. It would ruin your view of him."
"Explain, now." Frank asked sternly, keeping hold of Gerard's hand.
"No, I really can't," She put a hand over her mouth, shaking her head. "I can't."
"I will continue to feel the way I do, because he seems to care about me," Frank shrugged, "I can like who I want, and if I like someone who is classed as crazy, mentally ill, or emotionally unstable. So be it." She nodded, softly.
"Stay safe Frank," She breathed, tears in her eyes as she gave Gerard one last look before heading towards the door.

"Wake up, Gerard." He sighed, speaking softly. Gerard mumbled, flicking his eyes open lazily.
"Reynolds was here?" He said, abruptly. Frank nodded, sighing, not even bothering to ask how he knew.
"Why did she go?"
"I have no idea."
"Oh." Gerard scrunched his eyes up, rubbing them. He turned and looked out of the window, calculating the time before lying back. "What did she speak to you about?" Frank sniffed, rubbing his eyes, shaking his head softly.
"You don't want to know," He sighed, sobbing softly.
"Why are you crying?" Gerard asked, staring at him, unsure of what he was supposed to do in this situation. Frank tucked his knees to his chest.
"She said you're going to hurt me, if I get close to you." He sniffed. Gerard tilted his head.
"I don't remember hurting anyone," He blinked. "Did I hurt someone?" Frank shook his head.
"No, not that I've been told of, or witnessed." He shrugged, "But, she said if I get feelings for you, you'll end up hurting me." Gerard was bemused. He didn't remember hurting anyone, and he was sure that with a brilliant mind like his, he would easily remember something like that.
"That's no reason to cry, I won't hurt you. And you won't get feelings, so there's no issue," He said, innocently.
"Uh...." Frank sighed, feeling the pain in his chest slightly, "Um..."
"Your chest is hurting."
"Maybe," Frank whispered, keeping his head down.
"Maybe you should get that diagnosed."
"It's nothing dangerous," Frank smiled softly, feeling butterflies in his stomach.
"But you're in pain." Gerard pointed out, rubbing his eyes of sleep.
"Yes, but...I don't know how to explain it," Frank giggled softly, scratching the nape of his neck, "Have you ever had a crush on someone?"
"No," Gerard replied, his eyes shut. "Not that I remember, anyway." Frank nodded.
"Then, I can't really describe or explain it." He shrugged, smiling softly.
"So it's a good kind of pain?" Frank shook his head.
"No," He tried to find the words to explain it, "It's a kind of sadness, where you feel a certain way about someone, but the other person doesn't feel the same way." He shrugged.
"Oh." Gerard calculated in his head. "But I like you, why would you feel like that?"
"Because, it's not like friendship." Frank blushed, chewing his lip, shyly.
"Oh," Gerard sniffed, still confused. "I don't understand, but you can keep talking to me,"
"Um... Ask Reynolds, maybe she could help you understand. I bet she could explain it a lot better than me," Frank shrugged, smiling softly.
"Maybe, but I don't really want to see her anyway." Gerard shrugged. "I'd like to know why she thinks I'm going to hurt people, though." Frank shrugged, smiling softly.
"I think you're sweet, and I wouldn't think you would hurt me or anyone else, on purpose."
"I think I'm an ass, but I wouldn't intentionally hurt someone." Gerard paused. "That was a lie, but I wouldn't hurt you, unless you pissed me off." Frank chuckled softly.
"Thank you," He smiled, "You're not an ass, I promise."
"I am, but thank you anyway." Gerard paused. "I need to make a phone call. Reckon Reynolds will let me?"
"Depends, who to?" Frank asked, softly.
"My mother."
"Okay, I need to talk to her any way, so she won't pay any attention."

Dr Reynolds opened the door, still a little weak from earlier.
"Come in, Frank." She nodded, stepping back. Gerard walked to the payphone, jangling money in his pocket that he had taken from Reynolds earlier this week. Frank sat down.
"I need to talk to you about something urgently, because I'm confused and upset."
"Alright," She nodded, sitting down. Gerard dialed the phone, waiting for someone to pick up.
"I really like Gerard, but he doesn't understand, how do I explain it to him?" Frank asked, sighing.
"You're going to just have to tell him. I don't really know any other way," She sighed, softly. "The others, they - well, they weren't as subtle, I suppose."
Gerard heard the phone click as someone answered. He could hear shrill crying in the background and recognized it immediately. "Hello, Mrs Way speaking."
"Other boys had crushes on him?" Frank asked.
"You could say that."
"He's an attractive young man. I know that, and they're messed up boys just like him, and he makes a connection."
"What's happened in the past though, between him and other boys?"
"They made a connection." She held a hand up to her mouth. "I really don't want to tell you Frank, it'll ruin you."
"Say it!" Frank clenched his fists. Reynolds shook her head, softly.
"You really don't want to know.."
"Say it!" Frank shouted. Reynolds shut her eyes, composing herself. She glanced up at Frank, exhaling, pursing her lips.
"He killed them, Frank. He killed them."

"How and why?" Frank asked, crossing his arms.
"He said that the voices were going to tear them apart. He said he was saving them." She sighed, holding back tears. "He.. He drowned them. All of them. Then hid him in the courtyard." Frank shrugged.
"Oh well. He won't kill me." He smirked, walking out, seeing Gerard by the door, "Hi," Gerard was in tears, holding the phone against his ear.
"Mom, just let me talk to him.." Frank stood in the door way, gazing at the older boy in tears. "He's not at a friend's house! I can hear him crying, Mom!" He shouted down the phone. "I'm not! I'm not!" Frank sighed, shaking his head softly, knowing what was happening. "Put him on the phone. Put him on the phone!" Gerard pressed, getting no response and crying. He threw the phone so it smacked against the wall, dangling on a wire. He stormed away, towards the main hall, returning to the living area. Frank followed him.
"Gerard?" He called softly and innocently. Gerard sat in the middle of the living area on the floor, his knees hunched up, his head resting forward on his knees and his fingers pressing against his temples. Frank sat beside him, sighing. Gerard breathed softly, angrily. He was silent, keeping his eyes squeezed shut, not even aware Frank was beside him. Gerard lay down, listening as other patients ambled by and didn't even consider his situation. That's what it was like in this place. He lay for hours, ensuring his anger had emptied from him.

Frank sat in his bed, thinking, whether or not, to tell Gerard he loved him, or that he knew he was a murderer. Gerard curled up, finally at peace for once, in the centre of the large, white room, enveloped in darkness. He didn't feel alone; he didn't even feel cold, but he felt calm and appeased. Frank built up the courage to tell him both things, he waited until he was back.
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