Categories > Original > Humor > Fairy tales Gone Hills

Ruby Red Riding Hood

by Ebbie 1 review

Classic fairy tails retold, with The Hills Have Eyes mutants!

Category: Humor - Rating: PG - Genres: Parody - Warnings: [!!] [?] - Published: 2006-07-24 - Updated: 2006-07-25 - 412 words

Chapter 1: Ruby Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away from the prying eyes of fangirls and their viscious nets, lived a little girl named Ruby Red Riding Hood, or Ruby, since Ruby Red Riding Hood was a very long name. She was named that because she had a red sweatshirt that she had taken from a trailer. One day her father, Papa Jupiter asked her to take some food to her brother Goggle. "And stay on the path, not that there really is a path, but take the way you normally go." he said as he sent her off with some baby back ribs (not literally, they had actually found a cow or whatever BBR's come from) and some water, since it gets hot in the desert, and makes everyone thirsty.
So Ruby went off to find her brother and give him the Ribs and water, but little did she know that there was a Lizard wondering around dressed up in a badly sewed together wolf costume, who was rather bored and decided for no apparent reason to scare the crap out of Ruby. Soon, Ruby wondered off the path to pick desert flowers (work with me people) and ran into Lizard-in-a-badly-made-wolf-outfit. "Shouldn't you be heading off towards Goggle? Wheres he staying at anyways?" he asked. "Well, I saw these nice flowers and wondered if he would like them when he eats, and he's about not to far north, Mr. Lizzy Wolf." "I don't think you should get your brother flowers, but continue picking him flowers anyways." Lizzy Wolf said, and wondered off to tell Goggle of his plan.
After getting a heck of a lot of flowers, Ruby eventually made it to where Goggle was watching stuff, but it was really Lizard in a badly made Goggle outfit. "My, brother, what bad nails you have." she said, making Lizard mad, since he thought that they were rather nice. "The better to eat with, Ruby." Lizard said in a badly done Goggle impression. " My, brother, what bad teeth you have." she said, once again accidently insulting him. "The better!" Lizard said, since no one could come up with anything better. Ruby screamed, turned around, and ran into Goggle, knocking him down. She was happy to see him and hugged him, then they shared the ribs, even with Lizard, who was pissed that he had to dress up as a wolf earlier.
The End
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