Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Connection of the eyes and heart
Chapter 18
The same night
Franks Pov
I sat by Gerards front door for about an hour just sobbing, I could hear Mikey and Gee on the other side of the door, I just wanted to be in there holding him. I can’t believe I screwed this up every time something good comes a long I just have to ruin it don’t I. I heard Mikey move Gerard probably to his room; Gee was broken because of my repulsive life and me.
The door opened and it was Mikey, he had a shocked look on his face probably because of the way I look. I’m drenched in my blood, covered in bruises from head to toe, and I’m sobbing my eyes out. Mikey says, “God Frank you look terrible”
“Mikey please I need him” I beg
“Frank if what he said is true I hate you so much I could kill you, if it isn’t I still hate you for making him feel this way” he pauses and rubs his forehead, “Either way Frank you need to leave, you shouldn’t come back for a while, I can’t watch you hurt him like this”
I catch him before he closes the door, “Wait Mikey please, I’m sorry I never wanted it to end like this, please just tell him that I love him, and I always will” He closes the door.
Every inch of my body kills, every step I take feels like I’m being stabbed in the stomach, all I want is to curl up in bed with Gerard and feel safe. Although that wont be happening for a long time.
I know that if I don’t stay in a motel that I wont be able to get cleaned up until Monday so, I will have to spend some of my money. I get to the motel and I see sandy. Sandy has worked at the front desk since I was 14 she knows me, she has helped me so much over the years.
“Oh Frankie, you need to be more carful, you look terrible” she says
“I know, I know it’s fine really, I heal fast. Can I get a room for the night I need to clean up”
“Okay honey”
I go digging through my bag for my wallet but, I can’t find it. There are a few places it could be In Berts car, In the ally, In Gerards car, or in Gerards house and I doubt I will ever get it back. So I’m screwed no money for winter, no food, and no Bert. This is probably the year I die, having no money I can’t possibly live and I can’t think about living without Gerard.
“Sandy cancel that, I don’t have my wallet, and I don’t have any money on me” I say I guess the next time I will be clean or warm will be on Monday.
“No Frankie, it’s on me just tonight so you can get cleaned up”
“No sandy I can’t let you do that”
“Don’t fight me boy, you know you wont be allowed in any building looking like that, so for tonight you will stay in this room and I will pay for it. After tonight it’s up to you what to do.”
“Thank you so much sandy I don’t know what I would do with out you” I head down to the room and un lock the door, I step in, lock the door and strip down.
I throw all my clothes in the sink I don’t even want to see what I look like, I just immediately jump in the shower. I keep the water on cold because my body aches so much.
I get out of the shower, start running the sink to wash my clothes, and then I grab a clean pair of boxers and start asses the damage to my body. Starting at my feet, which are bruised. Then my calf’s, which are bruised. Then my thigh, which are bruised. Then my stomach, so many deep bruises then there’s on spot on my rib cage that is multiple colors and is swollen I assume Bert broke one of my ribs. Then I get to my shoulder and holy fuck it’s dislocated, I guess I didn’t notice throughout every thing with Gerard. As soon as I think of him I start to cry, I can’t live with out him.
I stop my self and look in the mirror. My nose is broken, and I have one healing black eye and one fresh black eye. When I look my self up and down, I look like I got hit by a truck. I should of fought back, with Bert and Gerard. I understand why Gerard finds me repulsive. I give guys blow jobs for money, I’m short, I’m ugly, I’m mean, I’m fucked up, and I ruin every thing.
I will Fight for Gerard, I can’t live without him. That’s not an option, there’s nothing in this world that make me happy other than him. I would want to say I could move on, but I know I wont. I would want to say I could focus on school and making a career, but without love in my life what’s the point, I have no one but him. It sound creepy and stalkery, I know but it’s the truth. I hate life, I hate school, I hate my self, and the only reason I want to be here right now is so that I can be with Gerard
I can’t live without him, if I’m not with him I wont be here at all.
The same night
Franks Pov
I sat by Gerards front door for about an hour just sobbing, I could hear Mikey and Gee on the other side of the door, I just wanted to be in there holding him. I can’t believe I screwed this up every time something good comes a long I just have to ruin it don’t I. I heard Mikey move Gerard probably to his room; Gee was broken because of my repulsive life and me.
The door opened and it was Mikey, he had a shocked look on his face probably because of the way I look. I’m drenched in my blood, covered in bruises from head to toe, and I’m sobbing my eyes out. Mikey says, “God Frank you look terrible”
“Mikey please I need him” I beg
“Frank if what he said is true I hate you so much I could kill you, if it isn’t I still hate you for making him feel this way” he pauses and rubs his forehead, “Either way Frank you need to leave, you shouldn’t come back for a while, I can’t watch you hurt him like this”
I catch him before he closes the door, “Wait Mikey please, I’m sorry I never wanted it to end like this, please just tell him that I love him, and I always will” He closes the door.
Every inch of my body kills, every step I take feels like I’m being stabbed in the stomach, all I want is to curl up in bed with Gerard and feel safe. Although that wont be happening for a long time.
I know that if I don’t stay in a motel that I wont be able to get cleaned up until Monday so, I will have to spend some of my money. I get to the motel and I see sandy. Sandy has worked at the front desk since I was 14 she knows me, she has helped me so much over the years.
“Oh Frankie, you need to be more carful, you look terrible” she says
“I know, I know it’s fine really, I heal fast. Can I get a room for the night I need to clean up”
“Okay honey”
I go digging through my bag for my wallet but, I can’t find it. There are a few places it could be In Berts car, In the ally, In Gerards car, or in Gerards house and I doubt I will ever get it back. So I’m screwed no money for winter, no food, and no Bert. This is probably the year I die, having no money I can’t possibly live and I can’t think about living without Gerard.
“Sandy cancel that, I don’t have my wallet, and I don’t have any money on me” I say I guess the next time I will be clean or warm will be on Monday.
“No Frankie, it’s on me just tonight so you can get cleaned up”
“No sandy I can’t let you do that”
“Don’t fight me boy, you know you wont be allowed in any building looking like that, so for tonight you will stay in this room and I will pay for it. After tonight it’s up to you what to do.”
“Thank you so much sandy I don’t know what I would do with out you” I head down to the room and un lock the door, I step in, lock the door and strip down.
I throw all my clothes in the sink I don’t even want to see what I look like, I just immediately jump in the shower. I keep the water on cold because my body aches so much.
I get out of the shower, start running the sink to wash my clothes, and then I grab a clean pair of boxers and start asses the damage to my body. Starting at my feet, which are bruised. Then my calf’s, which are bruised. Then my thigh, which are bruised. Then my stomach, so many deep bruises then there’s on spot on my rib cage that is multiple colors and is swollen I assume Bert broke one of my ribs. Then I get to my shoulder and holy fuck it’s dislocated, I guess I didn’t notice throughout every thing with Gerard. As soon as I think of him I start to cry, I can’t live with out him.
I stop my self and look in the mirror. My nose is broken, and I have one healing black eye and one fresh black eye. When I look my self up and down, I look like I got hit by a truck. I should of fought back, with Bert and Gerard. I understand why Gerard finds me repulsive. I give guys blow jobs for money, I’m short, I’m ugly, I’m mean, I’m fucked up, and I ruin every thing.
I will Fight for Gerard, I can’t live without him. That’s not an option, there’s nothing in this world that make me happy other than him. I would want to say I could move on, but I know I wont. I would want to say I could focus on school and making a career, but without love in my life what’s the point, I have no one but him. It sound creepy and stalkery, I know but it’s the truth. I hate life, I hate school, I hate my self, and the only reason I want to be here right now is so that I can be with Gerard
I can’t live without him, if I’m not with him I wont be here at all.
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