Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Connection of the eyes and heart
Chapter 19
The next day
Franks Pov
I wake up and I feel even worse than I did yesterday, I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to go through the day without Gerard it’s just not worth it.
I pull myself up and look in the mirror there’s more bruising and more swelling. At least I’m not bleeding. I hop in the shower cause I know I wont get another one until Monday, that’s would only be one night with out showering.
I know I have to be out of this room by noon, its 9am. All I want to do is curl up in a ball under the covers and sleep. Then the water gets to hot and sears one of my scratches from yesterday.
I turn the water down so it’s colder and I fall a part. I lean against the wall of the shower and sob silently until I’m on the floor of the shower wish I were dead. I hate it there’s so much pain, not just physically but inside, I feel empty. I’ve always felt empty since my mother’s death, but after having such a sweet taste of happiness’ and love, the emptiness kill, I loathe this feeling.
I know Gerard must feel ten times worse I be trade him, he knows I’m just a fucking asshole who lies. I let him trust me and I just kept feeding him lies and more lies. I should of told him the truth from the start. Does he know the truth? Or is he just guessing?
I could have a chance if I came strait out and told him everything, maybe he would take me back. Maybe if he knew that not everything was a lie and the truth is I can’t live with out him. Maybe if he knew that a mist all my lies the truth is I really do love him.
I jump up and out of the shower, I throw on clothes and check the time it’s 10am I have two hours in here and I wont waste them. I spend the next 2 hours calling Gerard and Mikey, leaving them messages. Neither of them picks up any of my calls. I’m screwed if Gerard doesn’t hear what really happened I would never get him back, and I need him back, He needs to know that I love him.
I head out of the motel wave sandy good bye, then I start to walk to Gerard’s apartment.
I get there and knock on the door several times, no answer, “Please Gerard I know your in there, please let me explain. Gerard I can’t live without you please oh please just talk to me”
No answer
“Mikey, you guys don’t understand, if you would just let me explain it to you”
The door hurriedly opens, it’s Mikey, “Frank, you need to leave neither me nor Gerard wants to hear you so please spare us some pain and just leave’
“No Mikey please just let me explain”
“Frank why can’t you get this your explinantion is useless, it will be filled with lies. You have nothing to explain Gerard saw you. He knows that you’ve been Fucking other men, We trusted you, and you went along and broke his heart.”
He was about to continue when I interrupted him, “Wait what he saw me? When?”
“God, really Frank he saw you the other day with your mouth on this guy dick, Gerard said his name was Bert?”
“Mikey it’s not what it seems it was like that I had to”
“Give it up Frank, you used my brother, he was finally getting better and you fucking broke him. I hate you.” Then he slammed the door in my face
I’m not done; I will get through to them.
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Gerards Pov
All day Frank has been calling and then he showed up, I can’t take it I don’t want him near me. I love him so much, what I really want to do is run into his arms and never leave them, but he lied, and he will always lie, I just can’t have that in my life it will make everything worse.
He has been seeing other men. I don’t know his exact story, and I don’t know what his life is really like, but I do know that he has been with other men and he has been lying to me this whole time.
There’s so much pain, I feel as though I am bleeding out from a stab womb, and then every time Frank calls or tries to see me, I am being stabbed again. I there’s emptiness without him, and that emptiness has been overflowing with pain. Frank left me full of lies, pain, and curiosity. I want this to be fake, that everything Frank told me was the truth. But it’s not every thing he told me was a lie.
I feel as though I can’t live without him. But I have to. And I will. It will be better without him. Hard at first, I will miss the love. But it wasn’t real because that emotion and every minuet I spent with Frank was all lie, it will be better with no lies, and no Frank.
The next day
Franks Pov
I wake up and I feel even worse than I did yesterday, I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to go through the day without Gerard it’s just not worth it.
I pull myself up and look in the mirror there’s more bruising and more swelling. At least I’m not bleeding. I hop in the shower cause I know I wont get another one until Monday, that’s would only be one night with out showering.
I know I have to be out of this room by noon, its 9am. All I want to do is curl up in a ball under the covers and sleep. Then the water gets to hot and sears one of my scratches from yesterday.
I turn the water down so it’s colder and I fall a part. I lean against the wall of the shower and sob silently until I’m on the floor of the shower wish I were dead. I hate it there’s so much pain, not just physically but inside, I feel empty. I’ve always felt empty since my mother’s death, but after having such a sweet taste of happiness’ and love, the emptiness kill, I loathe this feeling.
I know Gerard must feel ten times worse I be trade him, he knows I’m just a fucking asshole who lies. I let him trust me and I just kept feeding him lies and more lies. I should of told him the truth from the start. Does he know the truth? Or is he just guessing?
I could have a chance if I came strait out and told him everything, maybe he would take me back. Maybe if he knew that not everything was a lie and the truth is I can’t live with out him. Maybe if he knew that a mist all my lies the truth is I really do love him.
I jump up and out of the shower, I throw on clothes and check the time it’s 10am I have two hours in here and I wont waste them. I spend the next 2 hours calling Gerard and Mikey, leaving them messages. Neither of them picks up any of my calls. I’m screwed if Gerard doesn’t hear what really happened I would never get him back, and I need him back, He needs to know that I love him.
I head out of the motel wave sandy good bye, then I start to walk to Gerard’s apartment.
I get there and knock on the door several times, no answer, “Please Gerard I know your in there, please let me explain. Gerard I can’t live without you please oh please just talk to me”
No answer
“Mikey, you guys don’t understand, if you would just let me explain it to you”
The door hurriedly opens, it’s Mikey, “Frank, you need to leave neither me nor Gerard wants to hear you so please spare us some pain and just leave’
“No Mikey please just let me explain”
“Frank why can’t you get this your explinantion is useless, it will be filled with lies. You have nothing to explain Gerard saw you. He knows that you’ve been Fucking other men, We trusted you, and you went along and broke his heart.”
He was about to continue when I interrupted him, “Wait what he saw me? When?”
“God, really Frank he saw you the other day with your mouth on this guy dick, Gerard said his name was Bert?”
“Mikey it’s not what it seems it was like that I had to”
“Give it up Frank, you used my brother, he was finally getting better and you fucking broke him. I hate you.” Then he slammed the door in my face
I’m not done; I will get through to them.
_
_
_
_
Gerards Pov
All day Frank has been calling and then he showed up, I can’t take it I don’t want him near me. I love him so much, what I really want to do is run into his arms and never leave them, but he lied, and he will always lie, I just can’t have that in my life it will make everything worse.
He has been seeing other men. I don’t know his exact story, and I don’t know what his life is really like, but I do know that he has been with other men and he has been lying to me this whole time.
There’s so much pain, I feel as though I am bleeding out from a stab womb, and then every time Frank calls or tries to see me, I am being stabbed again. I there’s emptiness without him, and that emptiness has been overflowing with pain. Frank left me full of lies, pain, and curiosity. I want this to be fake, that everything Frank told me was the truth. But it’s not every thing he told me was a lie.
I feel as though I can’t live without him. But I have to. And I will. It will be better without him. Hard at first, I will miss the love. But it wasn’t real because that emotion and every minuet I spent with Frank was all lie, it will be better with no lies, and no Frank.
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