Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Mess of Youthful Innocence

Paintball To The Ass

by moocow 4 reviews

You take paintballs, lighters, bubblewrap and cheese, add tourbuses, underwear, mega phones, and pickles, a little bit of adventure along with some corny pick up lines and you get what happens betw...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Action/Adventure, Humor, Romance - Warnings: [!!] [?] - Published: 2006-07-26 - Updated: 2006-07-26 - 1698 words

Chapter 1- Paintball To The Ass

December 7th 2005

"Ughh," Lexi whined from backstage, scrunching up her nose. Freeda raised an eyebrow and laughed at her friend from where she sat on the small couch.
"What are you complaining about?" she asked and Lexi sighed, hunching over.
"It's stuffy," she simply said. Heather laughed from where she was tuning her guitar.
"Stuffy? That's new..." Lexi glared at her and cracked her knuckles.
"You have to admit, it is kinda stuffy...there's a lot of smoke circling the stage..." Aloe spoke up from her pacing near the stage. Lexi smiled.
"Do you see anything other than suspicious people?" she asked, looking hopeful. Heather shot up and walked over and peered her head around the corner, moving it around a little.
"Check out Mr. Incognito," she mumbled and Lexi ran over, jumping on her friends back, earning her a giant "oomph". Smiling, Lexi looked to the over head bar and saw who Heather was talking about. A man that looked a little older was sitting there, obviously waiting for the show to start. He kept glancing at his watch, but what was even weirder about the guys was the fact he was wearing sunglasses and his hood was up. Lexi shook her head jumping off her friend and doing a cartwheel back to the lounge area.
"We better play really, really good tonight...Mr. Incognito is expecting us..." Aloe smiled and strummed a power chord on her guitar. Heather smiled.
"So I get to belt it?" she asked and Lexi jumped up and down, clapping her hands.
"Yeah! And I get to be a sexy bass player!" she smiled at Freeda who just smirked and picked up her drumsticks.
"I'll bang" she paused. "I don't know really, I'll just bang it like no other," Lexi laughed.
"That's the spirit,"
"Hey, Lexi," Lexi turned around to see the opening band coming back from the stage.
"Hey, you guys were great," she hugged a few of the members and learned they had five minutes. Heather checked her nails, her perfectly painted nails really, and smiled.
"I'm set..." Aloe laughed tying up her brown curls and grabbed her guitar.
"Can I do the spiny thingy?" she asked and the rest of the girls nodded. Freeda grabbed her drumsticks and tapped them on her sides.
"So...same order, one cover, right, for tradition?" she asked and Heather nodded.
"Where did Lexi go?" she asked noticing the lack of their bass player.
"She's either finding her bass, lucky necklace or...trying to find a shirt," Aloe told her and right when she said this, Lexi came back out buttoning up her shirt and grabbing her bass by the neck.
"It's Saturday night, we should play Saturday as our cover..." she mentioned and Heather smiled widely.
"I get to be Patrick for a night,"
"Yeah, and I'm Pete Wentz," Lexi joked and they all laughed as the stage crew sent them on stage.
"Welcome to Martini Ranch!" The host welcomed into the microphone. "So this next kick ass. They have proved that girls can truly kick ass at anything. This full girl band has made a place in the Arizona local music scene. And trust me...they will rock your world. Please welcome, Behind the Bleachers!" The crowd cheered as they girls took their spots on stage.
"K, now, it's come to my attention it's Saturday night, right?" Lexi said into the microphone. The crowd cheered and Lexi smiled at Heather.
"For our traditional opening cover, we just might treat you to an old favorite of ours," she spoke and suddenly the crowd quieted.
"I'm good to go..."

Lexi played and played, focusing where her hands slicked up and down her bass. Every once and a while she would look up to the overhead bar to steal glances of what Mr. Incognito. By the end of the set, he had disappeared out of the building. Lexi sighed.
Another idiot who doesn't like our all girl band...
They finished their last song with a giant power chord, thanks to Aloe and Lexi thanked the crowd. Soon a lot of the people started to drift out of the club long after the show was over. Both Aloe and Freeda had left for home; they had work the next day. Lexi and Heather stayed to hang out with the fans, but were faced by having to pack the car with the entire band's stuff.
"Heather, are you sure none of our friends are out in the crowd? I think this would be a lot easier with some help," Heather laughed as Lexi pushed the giant amp into the backseat of the SUV. It was the early morning, around 2 am and both Lexi and Heather wanted to get to the house they both shared and sleep. Sighing, Lexi through her bass case into the back seat as Heather handed her one last amp. The two friends were pushing it into the trunk when they heard an awkward sound. Before they could turn around, two paintballs hit both of their butts, making them scream and grab their ends, turning around and yelping. Lexi looked around, anger starting to burn in her eyes.
"There's nothing like seeing a girl grab her own ass," Lexi flickered her eyes up to see Mr. Incognito standing on the roof of the next building over, paintball gun in hand, it resting on his shoulder.
"Oh my god...I really don't have time for this..." Lexi muttered turning around and raising her arms to close the trunk. When she turned around, she saw Heather with her mouth wide open, eyes wide and gum falling out of her mouth. Lexi blinked a couple of times before slowly moving her gaze to where she was looking. Right in front of her was the real Mr. Incognito, /Pete Wentz/.
"Holy shit," Lexi breathed and grabbed onto Heather's shoulder for support, clutching her chest. "I think I'm going into cardiac arrest," Pete raised an eyebrow before chuckling.
"Geeze, you ok?" he asked and Lexi shot straight up, laughing.
"I'm a good faker," she laughed and Heather just still stood there, mouth hanging open.
"Faker ehh? Even in bed?" Pete asked and Lexi sighed.
"This is a weird conversation to be having with the infamous Pete Wentz," Lexi laughed and he shook his head.
"This is a weird conversation to be having with the infamous Lexi Starr," Lexi blushed.
"What?" she asked and Heather just widened her eyes more.
"Yeah, that's right, I know you, only because my friend really likes your band, um, Paul, he lives around here, so he told me to check you guys out, so here I am," Lexi let one of her eyes twitch slightly.
"Don't you have a show tomorrow?" she asked slowly and he nodded.
"Yep, we are in town for a couple more days after that, just gonna hang," Pete looked around and then landed his eyes on Heather, who was still standing with her mouth and eye wide open.
"Is she ok?" he asked and Lexi booty bumped her friend, who instantly shot out of her transfixion.
"What?" she screeched and Lexi laughed.
"You were being all...funny," Pete watched as the two friends play fought.
Reminds me of me and Patrick...
"Ok, the real reason that I'm here, and not anywhere else is that I really liked your set, I like the band too," he mentioned, quite randomly. Lexi turned back to him.
"Is it because we are all girls?" Heather giggled.
"We are irresistibly sexy," she and Lexi laughed. Pete shook his head, a smile forming on his lips.
"That too, but the's amazing...I know these might freak you out, but, have you heard of my new record company, the one that braches off of Fueled by Ramen?" he asked and both girl's eyes lit up.
"Decaydance?" They asked at the same time. Pete laughed at the two.
"Yep, you know the one that takes small overlooked bands and takes them to the top?" he asked and both girls nodded. "Well..." he paused and both girls leaned forward a little to hear him. "You guys, I mean girls, I are next," he finished and Lexi turned her head to Heather and Heather turned her head to look at Lexi. Both developed Cheshire cat smiles before jumping into each other's arms and screaming, dancing down the giant backstage parking lot, smiling and laughing. Pete stood there and watched as the two girls regrouped and stopped, leaning against their car.
"This...can we tell Aloe and Freeda to quit their jobs?" Heather asked, breathless. Pete shrugged.
"If you want," he smiled and Lexi closed her eyes, breathing deeply and smiling, showing her teeth.
"Heather...we are actually being asked to join a label.../Pete Wentz's/ label," she added and opened her eyes to see Heather smiling.
"So what now?" she asked, turning to Pete. He looked down at his watch.
"I have to get back to the hotel, but here," he handed Lexi his Sidekick and motioned her to add her number. Quickly, she handed him back the phone. He messed around with it a bit and then raised it up.
"Pose with Heather," he commanded and Lexi raised an eyebrow before wrapping her arm around Heathers shoulders and placing an imaginary hand gun to her head.
"Bang, bang babes," she joked and smiled as the camera phone flashed.
"Ok, now...I'll come find you, whenever I want, cause I'm fucking Pete Wentz...expect me, when you least expect it...if that made any sense," Lexi raised an eyebrow.
"Your fucking Pete Wentz? So.../that/ would explain the pictures on the internet..." Heather giggles and Pete glared but then laughed at himself and turned to the left, grabbing his keys.
"See you girls," he muttered before walking away. Once out of sight, Lexi turned to Heather.
"Did that just happen?" she asked and Heather nodded.
"That just happened," she said softly.
"That just happened," she said a little louder. Both friends smiled widely at each other.
"THAT JUST HAPPENED!" they screamed into the night.
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