Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Forever Yours

17- History

by foreverfalling 3 reviews

What's it like to be a vampire?

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Published: 2013-01-07 - Updated: 2013-01-07 - 2150 words


(Madeline’s POV)

The light was dim in the bedroom, and the blankets all around me felt soft as I sank in to them further upon shifting. I stared up at the ceiling, not wanting to wake up. I was so comfortable. Brendon’s bed really was fantastic.

Then things got better as I heard the soft music flood in from the crack in the door. It was soft and beautiful- daring me to fall back asleep.

I couldn’t though. I needed to see what Brendon was playing. I needed to hear more, and watch him play. I was no musical genius but it sounded appealing to my ears.

Once my feet hit the floor I felt a renewed sense of energy. I nervously placed my fingers to my neck, expecting to feel bandages there. The whole ‘magical’ blood thing couldn’t work so fast, could it?

The bandages were gone.

My skin felt unbroken, and smooth to the touch. I hesitantly stepped towards the mirror, gazing at my reflection. Other than being a little on the thin side, and extremely pale I looked healthy.

Brendon’s voice cut through the air, filling me up with a warmth that hadn’t been there before. The words weren’t important enough for me to focus on, instead I simply soaked in the sound as my feet carried me closer to the door- and closer to Brendon.

The door creaked open. I tried being quiet, not even thinking through the fact that he would hear me immediately, despite how ninja I attempted to be.

Brendon didn’t look up though, as his fingers continued pressing down on the piano keys. The music drifted around the room. His eyes were closed, and he was wearing nothing other than a pair of black boxers. The contrast of color against his skin was beautifully breathtaking.

The last key seemed to play for a prolonged period of time and then Brendon was speaking. “How do you feel?”

“Normal.” I admitted. “Normal and healthy, and a little bit crazy.”

Brendon’s lips pulled up in a smile. “Want to learn the piano?”

“I, um, I’m really not musical at all.” I was tone deaf actually, and couldn’t play an instrument for the life of me.

“Come here.” I hesitantly did so.

Brendon scooted over and I sat down on the bench beside him. His cold pale hand fell on to my thigh, cooling me down considerably.

“Is this the beginning of music night?” I inhaled the scent of him, which seemed to be swirling through the air. He smelled fresh and clean, and perfect.

Brendon smiled. It seemed so innocent. “It is.” He moved his hand, covering mine. I let him guide my hand to the piano, giving him complete control. “You know we could do this every single night forever, right?”

He pressed my finger down on to one of the keys, and sound poured out. The next key was hit, and I was playing but it was really him. “For sixty or so years probably.” I chuckled. “Though it’s weird to think of you and me playing the piano well in to my 80s.”

“No. It’s not weird.” Brendon softly commented.

“Would you still be attracted to me?” It seemed like a valid question.

“Yes.” Brendon didn’t even think about it.

“I’ll be old and wrinkly Brendon.” I reminded him. “And I’ll probably smell like old person, like really bad.”

“I thought about changing you.” Brendon pressed another of my fingers down, making yet another noise blend in with the other noises. “You’d be beautiful forever.”

“I don’t want that.” I breathed out, trying to pull my hands away from him. He held on tight, and the music continued on. It was like I wasn’t even struggling. He was too strong.

Brendon leaned over, brushing his lips against my neck. I become very still, and yet he continued moving my fingers from key to key, no noticeable break in the music. “Brendon.” My voice betrayed how frightened I was of Brendon at the current moment.

“I would have to drain you of your blood and then feed you mine.” Brendon murmured, gently kissing along my neck.

“You’re scaring me.” I admitted, as my finger pressed painfully against one of the keys, dragging out the tune.

Brendon buried his nose against my neck, inhaling deeply. “I don’t want to watch you grow old. I don’t want to watch you die.”

“I don’t want you to kill me.” I tried to force some power behind my words but with the way Brendon was currently controlling me I found it hard. I felt like a tiny bug, easily crushed by his strength. I didn’t want to live like him though. I didn’t want to drink blood to survive, nor did I want to live forever. That seemed like a lonely existence.

Brendon’s grip instantly loosened as if he’d suddenly come to his senses. My fingers fell sloppily on to the piano keys, making a terrible noise. “I’ve thought of changing Jon and Spencer too, you know.”

“Your band mates?” I was still on edge, but I made no move to separate myself from Brendon. I knew it would do no good. He was faster and stronger than me. It would be useless.

“Yeah. They are talented.” Brendon commented. “We could move through time together, creating something great.”

“I think someone would notice if four hot musicians never aged, and continued producing music for the general public.”

“We could be descendants of a very talented line of musicians.” Brendon chuckled, “And of course we wouldn’t just continue on. We would have to fake deaths and practice music in a lonely way for awhile. It’s a small price to pay if you look at the big picture.”

“What if they don’t want to kill to survive?” I posed the question that had been eating at me. Did Brendon even like killing for a living? I doubt he would give me a straight answer on that one.

“You get used to it.” Brendon commented. “I think Jon might like it. Spencer is… different. He’s more /pure/.”

“Would you even ask them, or just do it?” It was another important question, and one that applied towards me as well.

Brendon turned so that he was facing me. I faced him as well, trying to act unfazed by the conversation. I don’t think it worked. “Sometimes you don’t know you want something until you have it. Immortality is kind of like that for some people.”

“Did you want it?” The question finally tumbled free.

Silence filled the space between us.

“Brendon?” I prompted him, unwilling to let this go.

“I wanted to live forever.” Brendon softly commented. “But this? I never expected such a gift when I was turned. I was a stupid scared kid, given a gift I couldn’t understand. I didn’t want it per say, but I didn’t not want it.”

“If you knew then what you know now… would you have wanted it?” He was trying to escape the question but I wouldn’t let him.

“I need to get something to eat.” Brendon moved effortlessly, stopping by the door before I could even comprehend that he had moved from beside me. “I’ll be home later.” He blew a kiss and then disappeared.

I let out a loud sigh, knowing I’d probably never get the answer I wanted from him.

I would never really know him if he didn’t let me.


Ryan’s eyes snapped open as I fell on to his bed beside him. He grumbled out something I couldn’t quite make out.

“Wake up sleepyhead.” I replied, cheerfully. “I need to be entertained.”

“You know we kidnapped you, right? It’s not our job to entertain you, just to detain you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “What’s it like to be a vampire Ryan?”

Ryan eyed me wearily. “Let me guess, today you’re suddenly in love with Brendon and want to live forever?” He rolled his eyes. “It’s your period. Approach the subject again when you’re a little less out of your mind.”

“Guess again.” I rolled my eyes, making sure he saw. “I just want to know… what it’s like, for you guys. Like how were you turned, what was it like… and do you regret it?”

Ryan suddenly looked uncomfortable. “And all of these questions are for Brendon, not me, right?”

Seems I was a little more obvious than I thought. “Right.” I looked away, slightly embarrassed. “He won’t tell me.”

“It’s not my place to tell you.” Ryan replied, just as I knew he would.

“Well maybe you could tell me from your point of view, and from there… I could… go from there.” I lamely pieced the sentence together, hoping Ryan would give me something to go off of.

Ryan threw some of his blanket over me, signaling that I should get comfortable. So I did. I turned on my side to face him, cuddled up underneath his blankets. “I was a young musician. Things were different when I was /alive/. Vampires were called by a different name then.”

“What?” I felt like a small child, excitedly having story time.

Ryan smiled wryly. “We were mainly called monsters, or soul suckers. The term vampire was coined later in life. People believed we sucked the soul from our victims as we killed them. When I was a kid I remember my father burning the body of my brother, because he had a cut on his neck. They believed he had been bitten and would soon change in to something soulless and evil. He really just fell and got a scrape.”

I gasped. “They killed him?”

“The fire killed him.” Ryan answered. “I was changed later in life after that. I’d left my family for music. I didn’t believe in the undead. I thought it was a myth, nothing other than another useless fear. Then I met… /him/. He was beautiful and fearless, everything I wanted to be. I was seduced immediately.”

“You were gay?”

“Not that kind of seduction.” Ryan rolled his eyes. “I fell in love with what he was. I didn’t know what I was getting myself in to. We became friends. He protected me… then he turned me.”

“Soon I learned the downside of being dead.” Ryan sighed. “You lose the light. I never knew how much I loved it until I could no longer see it, or feel it. I had to watch everyone I cared about die as I stopped aging. I killed people when hungry. I couldn’t control myself. I was consumed by the blood lust. I truly became… a monster.”

“Do you hate him for doing that to you?”

Ryan’s eyes went to the doorway. I was slow to look, instead focused on Ryan. “Yeah Ryan, do you?” It was Brendon.

Ryan didn’t say anything.

I looked at Brendon.

He looked flawless.

What was new?

His eyes were shaded red, and with a smile I could see his deadly fangs. “Answer her Ryan. Do you hate me?”

“You?” It pieced together after the word fell out of my mouth. “You changed him?”

“No.” Ryan didn’t look away from Brendon. “You’ve become my brother in more than just blood, and you know that. Don’t ask stupid questions.” Ryan’s eyes moved to me. “This interview is over. Get out.” Just like that he was shutting down.

I was wrapped in blankets, making it nearly impossible for me to get out as Ryan had demanded. “No.” I finally gave up the struggle.

“No?” Ryan’s eyes met mine again, though he now looked mildly amused.

“I’m a little bit stuck.” I informed him, with a large sigh.

“Perfect time for me to start asking questions then.” Ryan teased. “Do you take Brendon to-”

I was pulled from the bed by Brendon, a startled gasp rising from my throat, as Ryan’s question went unanswered… hell, it hadn’t even been fully asked. The door closed behind us.

“You just never give up, do you?” Brendon didn’t really sound annoyed, much to my surprise.

“I don’t really have it in me, surprisingly enough. I think it’s a genetic malfunction.” I admitted.

Brendon chuckled. “I know. I can smell it in your blood.”

“Hey now! No picking on something I can’t help.” I frowned, feeling my stomach drop. “And stop smelling my period too.”

“Would if I could.” Brendon answered.

And I would stop any feelings from forming towards him if I could.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t.
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