Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Cross My Heart
Ch 60 secrets
Matt's pov
I look at Sara, shaking.
"I thought Josh was finally clean..."
"I know."
Sara holds Josh as i dress him. Its like he was a toddler, who didnt want mommy, or daddy to leave. He clings onto Sara, shaking.
Most people would wonder why we are holding a 17-year-old like he was a toddler. To us, it is a matter of if Josh has the will to live. He needed us.
I push raven bangs out of his face, as tears spring from his eyes.
"Matty, are they gonna send me to a mental house? Am i gonna lose the boys?"
He really wants that?
"I dont know love."
Josh continues crying, and trying to get words out. He starts to settle down, as Sara reaches to comfort him. Josh looks at me, eyes wide, and hes shaking.
"Matty, dont let them take me."
Sara holds her scared brother, and rocks him back and forth. He looks at Sara, wide-eyed.
"No! Don't let them take me! I dont want to go back! They did things to me! I dont wanna!" He wails, tears falling on Sara's shirt.
He deathgrips Sara, and is sobbing into her shirt. Most people would think we were mad if they saw this, but Josh needs us. Now more than ever.
Sara manages to calm him, and his mental breakdown. I look at him, tears in my own eyes.
"What did Dimitry do to you love?" I whisper.
Josh hiccups, and looks at me.
"He hit me, an' said I was a worthless pile of shit, then he tried to kill me...." he whispers, fear lacing each word.
"Josh, he wanted you dead love?"
He nods weakly.
I kiss his now clean hair, as i hear sirens in the distance.
"He would glare at me, an' tell me he would kill me if I looked his direction. Then, during meals, he would flip my tray, and make me eat what was left on the ground. It was like I was his plaything. I didn't tell anyone because he would kill me on the spot. He called me a filthy whore, and I started cutting to numb the pain. I would pry the safety razor from the plastic, and slice a small cut, every day. Till, well this...."
He pulls up a sleeve to reveal a deep cut in his shoulder. Sara, and i gasp, as we stare at the pink bloody skin. How long ago was this?
"Josh, did he do that?" I asked, knowing the answer.
He nods again. I can't fucking believe it! Our Josh, being driven to this, in a place that was supposed to help him!
The paramedics burst in, and load him onto the gurney. He starts screaming hysterics. I can't see him like this, it breaks my heart. Sara is crying, as her baby brother is in such a state.
"Don't let them take me! Matty! Help me!" he wails. Sara runs to a paramedic, and begs her to let her be with him.
Sara gives me a glance, and Josh is taken to the living room to be examined. His mom and dad are shaking, seeing thier baby boy in so much pain. He starts coughing, and theres blood collecting on his shirt, and pants.
A paramedic looks at Sara.
"We need to get your brother intubated."
Intubated? What the hell is that?! Josh is taken to the ambulance, and Sara, and myself crawl in.
--
The arrival to the hospital feels like a blur, as Josh is wheeled into the trauma unit. He had so many scars, emotionally /and/physically. I soon learned what intubated meant.
Josh screams as the iv is put into his hand. A nurse gives him a sedative, and then looks for his airways. She grabs a trauma surgeon, who puts a plastic tube down his throat, and pushes air into his lungs, as something was making him cough up blood, and cause him all that stress. The nurse ordered chest x-rays, and blood work. Those went fine, but the results scared the shit out of me and Sara.
"Joshua has been trying to make himself ill, whether this is a cry for attention, we dont know, but what we do is that somehow he has some mental scars attributed to this attack."
Attack?! Josh has been to the end and back, this isnt a random attack, he has to be sick for a reason!
"We need to keep him for psychiatric testing. You all can wait in the small waiting area, while we question him."
"Sir, he's barely conscious. He'll have no idea what those questions mean." I pipe up. The nurse looks at me.
"I have a job young man, and I know what to do." He says calmly.
He leaves the waiting area.
"Fucking prick!" I scream.
Now we waited.
Josh would be fine, wouldn't he?
Boy was I in for the ride of my life!
Matt's pov
I look at Sara, shaking.
"I thought Josh was finally clean..."
"I know."
Sara holds Josh as i dress him. Its like he was a toddler, who didnt want mommy, or daddy to leave. He clings onto Sara, shaking.
Most people would wonder why we are holding a 17-year-old like he was a toddler. To us, it is a matter of if Josh has the will to live. He needed us.
I push raven bangs out of his face, as tears spring from his eyes.
"Matty, are they gonna send me to a mental house? Am i gonna lose the boys?"
He really wants that?
"I dont know love."
Josh continues crying, and trying to get words out. He starts to settle down, as Sara reaches to comfort him. Josh looks at me, eyes wide, and hes shaking.
"Matty, dont let them take me."
Sara holds her scared brother, and rocks him back and forth. He looks at Sara, wide-eyed.
"No! Don't let them take me! I dont want to go back! They did things to me! I dont wanna!" He wails, tears falling on Sara's shirt.
He deathgrips Sara, and is sobbing into her shirt. Most people would think we were mad if they saw this, but Josh needs us. Now more than ever.
Sara manages to calm him, and his mental breakdown. I look at him, tears in my own eyes.
"What did Dimitry do to you love?" I whisper.
Josh hiccups, and looks at me.
"He hit me, an' said I was a worthless pile of shit, then he tried to kill me...." he whispers, fear lacing each word.
"Josh, he wanted you dead love?"
He nods weakly.
I kiss his now clean hair, as i hear sirens in the distance.
"He would glare at me, an' tell me he would kill me if I looked his direction. Then, during meals, he would flip my tray, and make me eat what was left on the ground. It was like I was his plaything. I didn't tell anyone because he would kill me on the spot. He called me a filthy whore, and I started cutting to numb the pain. I would pry the safety razor from the plastic, and slice a small cut, every day. Till, well this...."
He pulls up a sleeve to reveal a deep cut in his shoulder. Sara, and i gasp, as we stare at the pink bloody skin. How long ago was this?
"Josh, did he do that?" I asked, knowing the answer.
He nods again. I can't fucking believe it! Our Josh, being driven to this, in a place that was supposed to help him!
The paramedics burst in, and load him onto the gurney. He starts screaming hysterics. I can't see him like this, it breaks my heart. Sara is crying, as her baby brother is in such a state.
"Don't let them take me! Matty! Help me!" he wails. Sara runs to a paramedic, and begs her to let her be with him.
Sara gives me a glance, and Josh is taken to the living room to be examined. His mom and dad are shaking, seeing thier baby boy in so much pain. He starts coughing, and theres blood collecting on his shirt, and pants.
A paramedic looks at Sara.
"We need to get your brother intubated."
Intubated? What the hell is that?! Josh is taken to the ambulance, and Sara, and myself crawl in.
--
The arrival to the hospital feels like a blur, as Josh is wheeled into the trauma unit. He had so many scars, emotionally /and/physically. I soon learned what intubated meant.
Josh screams as the iv is put into his hand. A nurse gives him a sedative, and then looks for his airways. She grabs a trauma surgeon, who puts a plastic tube down his throat, and pushes air into his lungs, as something was making him cough up blood, and cause him all that stress. The nurse ordered chest x-rays, and blood work. Those went fine, but the results scared the shit out of me and Sara.
"Joshua has been trying to make himself ill, whether this is a cry for attention, we dont know, but what we do is that somehow he has some mental scars attributed to this attack."
Attack?! Josh has been to the end and back, this isnt a random attack, he has to be sick for a reason!
"We need to keep him for psychiatric testing. You all can wait in the small waiting area, while we question him."
"Sir, he's barely conscious. He'll have no idea what those questions mean." I pipe up. The nurse looks at me.
"I have a job young man, and I know what to do." He says calmly.
He leaves the waiting area.
"Fucking prick!" I scream.
Now we waited.
Josh would be fine, wouldn't he?
Boy was I in for the ride of my life!
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