FicWad

Hey guys!!

OK so I was meant to have posted a chapter back on New Year's Eve and of course that didn't happen for reasons, reasons, which I feel like I should explain, but won't go into too much detail

First of all, I am a worrier; I will worry about the smallest of things and the biggest of things. I worry about everyone I love and care about more - I feel that they are far more important than me, so I always put them first

Also I tend to bottle up my emotions, so I will bottle up my anger, sadness, fear/anxiety, all my worries etc etc because I always feel that whenever I go to talk to someone about it, they're not interested, they don't care or I will simply freeze up and feel unable to talk to them, no matter how much I trust that person

I was also (despite [**]having 2 weeks off for Christmas holidays) still very tired from work, and still unwell as I hadn't fully recovered from the flu I had come down with right at the end of November (I'm still not fully recovered)

I also had some family issues at home, which really didn't help, and I also had some issues with my boyfriend (which have been resolved!!!) which really didn't help with my moods


So, with all of that combined into one, all it took was something so small and insignificant to pretty much open up the flood gate on New Year's Eve, and I just burst into tears, shut myself off from everyone. I felt alone and unwanted. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone, not even my boyfriend. I did end up doing something that I regret, which was cutting. I still hate myself for it today



Anyway, I've probably rambled a little bit, but I'm better than I was, my moods are a lot better after talking to a few people and I want to thank those of you who did post on my last authors note, the messages were very thoughtful :-)

So, with the next chapter that I am yet to post, it is half written. I was planning on finishing it tonight and posting it, but I am just so tired today - I spent my whole afternoon at work running around, playing games with the kids, and I did end up running into a wall, while playing, 'it' and I also managed to run into the fence, while playing, 'stuck in the mud' which proved entertaining for the kids to watch, but my left shoulder disagrees!!

EDITED PART:
Yesterday I said that I would have the chartered posted by today (Friday) but unfortunately one if the workers at work has kindly spread their sickness bug and I have been up since 4am being sick. My mum has bed bound me for the day, which isn't very fun! So I will try and post the chapter on Sunday/Monday, but I will warn you now that it really is only a filler chapter before I finally enter the last few chapters of the story