Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > How not to seduce someone...


by FightingForever 5 reviews

And so it begins...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Characters: Frank Iero - Published: 2013-01-20 - Updated: 2013-01-20 - 1728 words

Edited because it sucked ass xo

Vikki and I talk about our plan to get the men we want as I fill in the spaces on her sleeve, she tells me about her best friends and how they are the masters of seduction, just what we need. A crazy eyed Bob comes storming into the room, screaming about how I better not be fucking the customers again or I was fired.

Just to clarify that only happened once and the dude was smoking hot, I am not a whore.

I can't hide the grin that breaks across my face as Bob spots Vikki in the chair and stops talking, his voice reduced to a squeaking sound, much like if you tazer a cat, again that only happened once, and turns a deep scarlet colour

"Hey Bobert.."


"Okay, come on Vikki, I'll walk you out" Bob drops his head as we walk past and Vikki lets out a small giggle at him. I laugh harder when she winks at him and he almost falls over, if looks could kill, I'd be dust

"So Frankie, I'll see ya at six outside yeah?"

"Sure thing, see ya!"

I watch Vikki leave before turning around to make my way back into the studio, releasing the most girly scream my little lungs could muster as I'm met by Bob and his Hulk-like demeanour. As if they have a mind of their own, my legs begin to shuffle backwards only to be met with the waiting area sofa, I'm going to die, I know it. Suddenly the door bursts open and a voice rings out across the shop

"Bob motherfucking Bryar, if you lay so much as a finger on my bitch, I will fucking end you!" Jennifers back!

Jennifer is our receptionist and Bob's sister, I shove Bob away from me and dive on her. She's been on vacation with her (totally hot) boyfriend Spencer and isn't supposed to be back for two more weeks

"What the fuck are you doing here?! I thought you were supposed to be sunning it up in Egypt with Mr Smith? where is he anyway?"

"He should be here in three, two, one" The door swings open and a very tanned, and very fucking sexy, Spencer walks in and wraps his arms around Jennifer's waist, resting his head on her shoulder so his face is partially buried in her hair. They really are the perfect couple.

"Well, Frankie, there's only so much camel shit and fat ass fucking tourists you can take before you want to kill every fucker with their fucking tour guide y'know?"

"Ah, so you bring me anything?"

"Of course we did! We brought you this..." Jennifer produces a small red bag with a stuffed camel inside and starts laughing "It's just big enough for you to ride, Frankie!"

I flip her off before hiding behind Spencer when Bob appears beside me

"I missed you Jennifer! I had to deal with fucking Frankenweenie on my own..." He pulled his sister into a hug and kissed her head "...But don't ever tell anyone I said that, I got a reputation to keep"

"Whatever Bobby, I missed you too" She turns her attention to me and smiles "Tonight should be fun, Frankie?"

"How'd you know?"

"I saw Vikki outside, thought I'd tag along" Jennifer replies with a shrug, Bob looks between us with confusion etched on his face and I can't stop the laugh escaping my lips, he shoots me a look before turning to his sister and smiling sweetly

"Jen? Whats going on? Can I come?"

"Sorry Bob, it's ladies night" She smiles at him

"But Frankie is a dude" Bob points out and Spencer steps forward, putting a hand on Bob's shoulder, shaking his head softly

"Dude, you and I both know that Frankie here is more of a chick than your sister and Vikki combined" Bob sighs and nods at spencer. I looked at each of them with a hurt expression which they choose to ignore, like so rude

"I may be a lady but at least my dick is bigger than both of yours combined, bitches." Bob crumples his eyebrows and I hear a laugh from behind me. I turn around to see Ray coming from the back room

"That doesn't make any sense Frankie..." I fold my arms and puff out my chest, pouting

"It doesn't have to make sense, I'm pretty..." Ray chuckles and puts his arm around my shoulders

"Of course you are Frankie, of course you are"


I'm bouncing from one foot to the other as I stand outside of 'Horror Business' I didn't want to go inside because I knew Gerard would ask me to hang out and I just can't resist him or that little expectant smirk...

Or those sexy eyes....

Or those soft long fingers and his tight little...

Oh God! I have a boner.

I'm standing right in the street and I have a fucking boner! This is not good, Vikki and Jen better hurry there asses up or I'm gonna have to just beat one out right here, outside of Gerards store, across the road from my place of work and where the innocent old lady crossing the street will see me and die.

I will go down in history as 'Frank Iero; Cumshot Killer' and will be hated by millions across the world. Oh crap I'm gonna go down like those serial killers! Instead of Jack the Ripper, I'll be Frank the Creeper and Gerard will never speak to me again. Shit.

Vikki comes strutting out of the store with her hair tied into bunches and grabs my hand "Come on Frankie, Jen is gonna meet us there"

She starts pulling me down the street and I look back at the window to see Gerard watching me, something posses' my stupid little mind and I wink at him, licking my lips seductively. While I'm distracted by a blushing Gerard I don't see the lady with a yorkshire terrier standing in front of me and I trip over her dog, leaving me in a highly unattractive splat on the sidewalk at her chubby feet.

I look up to see her blinking down at me, unamused by the tattooed moron tangled in her dogs lead then turn my head to see Vikki almost purple due to her lack of oxygen from laughing so hard. I struggle to my feet and wipe myself down before nodding at the gradually reddening lady and her dog, grabbing Vikki's wrist and running down the street, radiating shame for the world, and Gerard, to see. Suddenly being a cumshot killer is the least of my worries.

We approach a line of stores I haven't seen before and I rais my eyebrows as I look in the window of each store we pass, almost all of them had something to do with the porn industry I even saw a fucking Dominatrix chamber. An uneasy feeling rose in my chest as I saw Jen parked outside one of the stores waving at us. We walk toward her and I looked up at the sign of the store, it was call 'CHAINS' which in all honestly just added to the uneasyness.

I don't want to whip Gerard, I just want to do things to him. Naughty things...okay maybe whip him a little. Vikki turns to me and smiles deviously "Are you ready to meet the masters Frankie?"

I look back up at the sign above the store and bite my lip before looking at Jen and back to Vikki "As ready as I'll ever be, lets go"

I take a deep breath and push open the door, stepping into the dimly lit store. It's quite cool inside and the decor is pretty awesome. There are long black lace curtains draped down the crimson red walls with quite a variety of different umm...objects?

In all honestly this place is a dildo dungeon and being the childish idiot I am I burst into hysterics at the sight of them.

Vikki shook her head at me and wandered into the back room leaving Jen to mercilessly beat me with her bag. Just as I grab what looks like a riding crop to defend myself with, Vikki comes wandering back into the front of the store with two other girls in tow

"Frankie, Jen, this is Vivian..." I look her up and down drink in her appearance. She wasn't really what I was expecting at all but I put that down to watching too many late night movies.

Her hair is shoulder length and bright red with choppy bangs and her eyes are this amazing hazel colour, I swear they're almost gold. I began to look at her outfit that's suprisingly tight against her skinny frame, she's wearing an Anthrax (awesome) shirt which she has tied at the side to reveal her small stomach, I mean seriously does this girl even eat? There's some inkwork just below her belly button, a skull and stars and I have to admit, it looks pretty cool. She's also wearing a little leather skirt and some black Converse with an ear bud stuck in her ear.

I look back up at her face to see her smirking at me with an eyebrow raised and I immediatley go bright red and wave a little at her before turning my attention to the other girl "...And this is Sara..."

This girl is slightly smaller than the other one and more what I had been expecting, but not quite. Her hair is straight, long and black, and her eyes are blue which stand out against her ivory skin. She lifts her arm to run a hand through her hair causing her long sleeved black and red V-neck top to ride up and reveal a tattoo of two doves with a ribbon on her hip just above the waistline of her little black shorts. On her feet she's got black stilletos and my mind wanders for a moment if she ever did anything kinky with them, I mean it seems like it could be fun. Maybe I should get some stilletos and have some fun with Gerard

Frank my boy, you are way too weird.

"Uh, Frankie?"


"We kinda lost you for a minute there"


"Anyway, shall we begin?"
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