Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Can't Be Saved
I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I got arrested and had to deal with al that. but i should be updating more now that i go all that takin care of. Enjoy this chapter, rate & review :)
The sent of Gerard is very soothing to me for some odd reason, smells like coffee and cigarettes. We ended up watching a movie that last night we both fell asleep on the couch. I feel like he can truly help me get better. its about 7:30 in the morning as i'm waking up to the smell of coffee, bacon and eggs. I sit up rubbing my eyes. The smell of the food makes me feel sick. I stand up and get to the bathroom just in time to make it to the toilet. A few moments later Gerard appears in the door way with a bottle of water and a smile.
"Ya know I used to be like you." Gerard said as i take the bottle from him and take a sip.
"What do you mean?" I said swishing the water around in my mouth and spitting it out in the toilet and standing up.
"I used to drink a lot and do pills I bought off my brother." He said as we walked into thew living room.
"You have a brother?" I asked siting on the couch next to Gerard.
"Yeah, I don't know what happened to him or were he is. I think he might be in jail." Gerard paused for a moment then continued." That's not the point. I know what it feels like to be you. Lost and alone. I got better now I'm going to help you." He said smiling at me.
"What's his name?" I asked.
His name is Michael, but everyone calls him Mikey." He said standing up and headed into the kitchen with a sad look on his face.
I wondered to myself is the guy i used to buy my stuff from is the same guy. I pushed the thought out of my head as Gerard reappeared in the living room.
"What's wrong?" He asked sitting down next to me again.
"I hurt." Was all i could manage to get out. I pulled my knees to my chest and started to rock back and forth. Tears starting to form in my eyes. I put my head down on my knees. I don't know how much longer i can take the getting sick and the achy pain my body is always in. Then out of no where I could smell Gerard close to me. Then I felt him hugging me, running his fingers through my hair. I embraced it, It hurt so bad I just wanted it to stop.
"Shhhhh Frankie it's okay. I'm here." Gerard whispered.
I start to slowly sob. I start to think about where my life will go now after i get though this, If i get though this. I don't have any friends and I doubt my mom is really going to want to be around me when she sees what kind of person i am not. I'm not her little boy anymore. I'm covered in tattoos, I'm bone skinny. and to top it all off I'm gay. She's not going to want me. Even if i am clean, It just wont happen. My body aches all over, I feel like i'm going to die. This is just too much for me to take. I push Gerard away from me, He's very strong and I'm so week it's a little hard for me to get a way. I quickly make my way to the front door. I fumble with the knob.
"Frank! Frank. What are you doing?" Gerard said coming after me.
"I......I.. need to go find Jeph." I manage to get out before stumbling to opening the door.
"You don't need Jeph anymore, You have me and I'm going to help you, Make you better. Frank please!?." He said grabbing my arm.
"No! I can't take this pain and the thoughts anymore. Let me go!" I yell pulling my arm away from him and running off down the stairs and out the door into the streets.
My mind is a little fuzzy I'm not thinking straight . I haven't really eaten very much i can't keep anything down, this withdrawal is ripping me apart I just wanted to see Jeph. I start walking in the direction of Jazz Hands. I know Jeph will be there somewhere.
I walked for about a half hour when i finally got to Jazz Hands, I was shivering and I couldn't get myself stop. I turned and stumbled down the alleyway to the back of Jazz Hands. As soon as i turned the corner I fell. I was already unstable on my feet and it was just getting worse.
"Frank?" I hear a voice as I am lying on the cold ground trying to get up. "Frank is that you?" The voice said again. I could feel hands on me. "Frank, It's Jeph. Are you alright?"
As soon as i knew it was Jeph I latched onto him hugging him as tight as I could.
"Frank what's the matter? Where have you been?"
"Help me Jeph." I whispered as I started to cry still shivering.
"Hold on ill be right back." Jeph sat me against the wall and ran toward his spot, my vision was getting blurry, all I could see is his outline. He re-appeared a short while later. "Here take a drink while i get this ready." He said sitting down next to me handing me a bottle. I took a drink and I knew what it was right away. It was out drink. Captain Morgan. I took another big drink I could feel the warmth in my chest and stomach as a took another big drink. A smile was forming on my face and I was starting to feel normal again.
"Here dude give me our arm." Jeph asked. So I placed my arm in his lap and my head on his shoulders and closed my eyes. I felt him tie off my arm right above my elbow. I opened my eyes and looked at him as he poked me with the needle i could feel the familiar warmth flowing threw me. He undid the tie and I felt amazing. I turned and looked at Jeph and he smiled at me. I took another sip and I felt normal again.
"Thank you Jeph." I said giving him a small kiss on the lips.
"It's no problem, you know I would do anything for you." He said smiling at me taking the bottle and taking a drink.
"Frank?"
"Yeah." I said taking a drink.
"Where did you go? I know that guy bought you for the night but when you didn't show up to work the next day we were worried. I asked Jim and he said he didn't know, the last he knew of you were with that guy and were supposed to be at work the next day."
"Wh...what?" I said looking at him with a shocked face. I started to panic a little. Was I kidnapped? I started to cry again and shake.
"Frank? Frank! calm down, what's going on? What happened?" Jeph asked again.
"I...i..."
"Frank! there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you." Gerard said running up to Jeph and I. After what Jeph just told me and the drugs and alcohol . "Come on lets get you home."
"NO!" I yelled backing up and falling over some trash. "Stay away!"
"Frank what's the matter?" Jeph asked trying to help me up. I yanked my arm away from him. I struggled to stand up. I had no balance and fell again. Hitting my head the brick wall of Jazz Hands in the alley. "Frank? Frank?! You stay away from him" I hear Jeph yelling just before everything went black.
The sent of Gerard is very soothing to me for some odd reason, smells like coffee and cigarettes. We ended up watching a movie that last night we both fell asleep on the couch. I feel like he can truly help me get better. its about 7:30 in the morning as i'm waking up to the smell of coffee, bacon and eggs. I sit up rubbing my eyes. The smell of the food makes me feel sick. I stand up and get to the bathroom just in time to make it to the toilet. A few moments later Gerard appears in the door way with a bottle of water and a smile.
"Ya know I used to be like you." Gerard said as i take the bottle from him and take a sip.
"What do you mean?" I said swishing the water around in my mouth and spitting it out in the toilet and standing up.
"I used to drink a lot and do pills I bought off my brother." He said as we walked into thew living room.
"You have a brother?" I asked siting on the couch next to Gerard.
"Yeah, I don't know what happened to him or were he is. I think he might be in jail." Gerard paused for a moment then continued." That's not the point. I know what it feels like to be you. Lost and alone. I got better now I'm going to help you." He said smiling at me.
"What's his name?" I asked.
His name is Michael, but everyone calls him Mikey." He said standing up and headed into the kitchen with a sad look on his face.
I wondered to myself is the guy i used to buy my stuff from is the same guy. I pushed the thought out of my head as Gerard reappeared in the living room.
"What's wrong?" He asked sitting down next to me again.
"I hurt." Was all i could manage to get out. I pulled my knees to my chest and started to rock back and forth. Tears starting to form in my eyes. I put my head down on my knees. I don't know how much longer i can take the getting sick and the achy pain my body is always in. Then out of no where I could smell Gerard close to me. Then I felt him hugging me, running his fingers through my hair. I embraced it, It hurt so bad I just wanted it to stop.
"Shhhhh Frankie it's okay. I'm here." Gerard whispered.
I start to slowly sob. I start to think about where my life will go now after i get though this, If i get though this. I don't have any friends and I doubt my mom is really going to want to be around me when she sees what kind of person i am not. I'm not her little boy anymore. I'm covered in tattoos, I'm bone skinny. and to top it all off I'm gay. She's not going to want me. Even if i am clean, It just wont happen. My body aches all over, I feel like i'm going to die. This is just too much for me to take. I push Gerard away from me, He's very strong and I'm so week it's a little hard for me to get a way. I quickly make my way to the front door. I fumble with the knob.
"Frank! Frank. What are you doing?" Gerard said coming after me.
"I......I.. need to go find Jeph." I manage to get out before stumbling to opening the door.
"You don't need Jeph anymore, You have me and I'm going to help you, Make you better. Frank please!?." He said grabbing my arm.
"No! I can't take this pain and the thoughts anymore. Let me go!" I yell pulling my arm away from him and running off down the stairs and out the door into the streets.
My mind is a little fuzzy I'm not thinking straight . I haven't really eaten very much i can't keep anything down, this withdrawal is ripping me apart I just wanted to see Jeph. I start walking in the direction of Jazz Hands. I know Jeph will be there somewhere.
I walked for about a half hour when i finally got to Jazz Hands, I was shivering and I couldn't get myself stop. I turned and stumbled down the alleyway to the back of Jazz Hands. As soon as i turned the corner I fell. I was already unstable on my feet and it was just getting worse.
"Frank?" I hear a voice as I am lying on the cold ground trying to get up. "Frank is that you?" The voice said again. I could feel hands on me. "Frank, It's Jeph. Are you alright?"
As soon as i knew it was Jeph I latched onto him hugging him as tight as I could.
"Frank what's the matter? Where have you been?"
"Help me Jeph." I whispered as I started to cry still shivering.
"Hold on ill be right back." Jeph sat me against the wall and ran toward his spot, my vision was getting blurry, all I could see is his outline. He re-appeared a short while later. "Here take a drink while i get this ready." He said sitting down next to me handing me a bottle. I took a drink and I knew what it was right away. It was out drink. Captain Morgan. I took another big drink I could feel the warmth in my chest and stomach as a took another big drink. A smile was forming on my face and I was starting to feel normal again.
"Here dude give me our arm." Jeph asked. So I placed my arm in his lap and my head on his shoulders and closed my eyes. I felt him tie off my arm right above my elbow. I opened my eyes and looked at him as he poked me with the needle i could feel the familiar warmth flowing threw me. He undid the tie and I felt amazing. I turned and looked at Jeph and he smiled at me. I took another sip and I felt normal again.
"Thank you Jeph." I said giving him a small kiss on the lips.
"It's no problem, you know I would do anything for you." He said smiling at me taking the bottle and taking a drink.
"Frank?"
"Yeah." I said taking a drink.
"Where did you go? I know that guy bought you for the night but when you didn't show up to work the next day we were worried. I asked Jim and he said he didn't know, the last he knew of you were with that guy and were supposed to be at work the next day."
"Wh...what?" I said looking at him with a shocked face. I started to panic a little. Was I kidnapped? I started to cry again and shake.
"Frank? Frank! calm down, what's going on? What happened?" Jeph asked again.
"I...i..."
"Frank! there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you." Gerard said running up to Jeph and I. After what Jeph just told me and the drugs and alcohol . "Come on lets get you home."
"NO!" I yelled backing up and falling over some trash. "Stay away!"
"Frank what's the matter?" Jeph asked trying to help me up. I yanked my arm away from him. I struggled to stand up. I had no balance and fell again. Hitting my head the brick wall of Jazz Hands in the alley. "Frank? Frank?! You stay away from him" I hear Jeph yelling just before everything went black.
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