Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > This Is How We Disappear.
Mama, Just Sleep. (4)
1 reviewGerard's mom is sinking further into her depression, but how will it affect him?
0Unrated
The next 6 months went by in a blur, no matter what we tried we couldn't get hold of Mikey or Joseph. I never lost hope, but my mom was sinking further and further into depression, she even quit her job, so needless to say we were struggling money-wise, even more than before. Bob gave me some extra shifts at the comic-book store and I got a weekend job as a bus boy in Starbucks. My mom was already on benefits, but I didn't want her to have the burden of the only money earner in the house, especially with the state of mind she was in.
It killed me to see her like this, she leant a lot on me after Mikey was taken, but I think she saw how much it was upsetting me and began to rely more on drinking. I think that's what scared me the most, my friends dad turned into an alchoholic after his brother died and he eventually hung himself. The thought of that ever happening to my mom caused me to get a lump in my throat.
I did all I could to help keep her spirits up; I took her out for coffee, I rented out movies that reminded her of being a kid, I helped around the house, I hugged her more, I told her I loved her every day. Now, don't get me wrong, she was happy a lot of the time, but there was something in her eyes that was always there, lurking. It was depression. Waiting to jump up and drag her further down into it's clutches, it waited until she was alone. It waited until she was vulnrable.
That was probably the most frightening part, because of course I couldn't be there for her 24/7, I had two jobs and was out of the house for at least 6 hours Tuesday - Saturday. I couldn't babysit her. I was terrified of what she might do while I was out of the house, so I never wasted any time when I finished work. Anytime I left the house for anything besides work, I always made sure she came with me. As you can imagine, that didn't always work out. So I've been surviving on less caffeine and ciggarettes than I'm used to. Which didn't help my fatique or stress levels. Needless to say, this was taking its toll on everyone involved.
Present Day
My alarm-clock buzzed in my ear, I groaned and buried my face further into my pillow. But, like all good Wal-Mart alarm-clocks, mine wouldn't shut up, so I sighed loudly and threw my legs out the side of the bed, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked at the clock; 7:46am, Saturday October 11
I stood up and stretched, every joint in my body screamed out in pain. These jobs were really taking their toll on me, between bending down to stack shelves and kneeling down to clean spilt coffee, I could tell arteritis was now inevitable.
I picked a plain black t-shirt from my drawer and threw on my black slacks and black boots. I made my way to the kitchen, my mom was still in bed. I checked the coffee pot; empty. I puffed my cheeks and blew out. I'm really glad I worked in a coffee shop, employee discounts are my saviour.
I waited until eight-thirty but my mom was still asleep, I got a glass of cold water and went in and put it on her bedside table.
I went outside and locked the front and made my way to work. It was a nice day, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping. I smiled to myself, I had a feeling today was gonna be a good day.
It killed me to see her like this, she leant a lot on me after Mikey was taken, but I think she saw how much it was upsetting me and began to rely more on drinking. I think that's what scared me the most, my friends dad turned into an alchoholic after his brother died and he eventually hung himself. The thought of that ever happening to my mom caused me to get a lump in my throat.
I did all I could to help keep her spirits up; I took her out for coffee, I rented out movies that reminded her of being a kid, I helped around the house, I hugged her more, I told her I loved her every day. Now, don't get me wrong, she was happy a lot of the time, but there was something in her eyes that was always there, lurking. It was depression. Waiting to jump up and drag her further down into it's clutches, it waited until she was alone. It waited until she was vulnrable.
That was probably the most frightening part, because of course I couldn't be there for her 24/7, I had two jobs and was out of the house for at least 6 hours Tuesday - Saturday. I couldn't babysit her. I was terrified of what she might do while I was out of the house, so I never wasted any time when I finished work. Anytime I left the house for anything besides work, I always made sure she came with me. As you can imagine, that didn't always work out. So I've been surviving on less caffeine and ciggarettes than I'm used to. Which didn't help my fatique or stress levels. Needless to say, this was taking its toll on everyone involved.
Present Day
My alarm-clock buzzed in my ear, I groaned and buried my face further into my pillow. But, like all good Wal-Mart alarm-clocks, mine wouldn't shut up, so I sighed loudly and threw my legs out the side of the bed, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked at the clock; 7:46am, Saturday October 11
I stood up and stretched, every joint in my body screamed out in pain. These jobs were really taking their toll on me, between bending down to stack shelves and kneeling down to clean spilt coffee, I could tell arteritis was now inevitable.
I picked a plain black t-shirt from my drawer and threw on my black slacks and black boots. I made my way to the kitchen, my mom was still in bed. I checked the coffee pot; empty. I puffed my cheeks and blew out. I'm really glad I worked in a coffee shop, employee discounts are my saviour.
I waited until eight-thirty but my mom was still asleep, I got a glass of cold water and went in and put it on her bedside table.
I went outside and locked the front and made my way to work. It was a nice day, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping. I smiled to myself, I had a feeling today was gonna be a good day.
Sign up to rate and review this story