FicWad

Okay, first things first. I'M SO SORRY!!!!! I have no excuse, I'm really sorry, I just haven't been feeling very motivated lately, and I am INCREDIBLY stressed out D: This was supposed to be updated over a week ago, and I know I'm shit for not doing it, but it's here now! .... Am I forgiven? -looks hopeful-
Sorry for any mistakes in this, I haven't had any time to edit it, so... Meeeeeh. But I hope you like it all the same! :3

Franks POV


"Mikey, have you heard anything yet?" My voice was croaky, thick with tears as I spoke to my friend over the phone.

"No, nothing. God Frank, I'm so worried! Who knows what could have happened! He's not answering his phone, I've been to his house, I've called everyone he knows, and NOTHING! I just want to know if he's okay!" He sobbed into the phone. I felt my heart clench at the sound of his voice, so upset and anxious.

"I'm coming over to yours, Mikey. You need people around you right now. We all do." I sniffed, wiping my eyes.

"Okay, you're probably right. How long will you be?"

"About 20 minutes, I'll see you then." I hung up without waiting for his response and began to get ready.

I pulled myself off of the couch and went to my bedroom, going straight to the wardrobe. My mind didn't even register what I was picking up, I just threw on the first items of clothing my hands came into contact with. I wasn't focused on looking nice right now, I just wanted to comfort my friend, and have him comfort me. My hair was sorted by a quick run through with a comb, falling all over my face in messy tangles of chesnut. I brushed it out of my eyes with a shaky hand and started towards the living room again.

The mirror in the hallway hadn't been used for the best part of a week, so when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the smudged surface, I got a shock. My once smiling mouth was turned down at the sides, a sad look etched onto it and no sign of my trademark smirk anywhere. My skin had turned a nasty shade of pale grey, making me look like a member of the undead, barely alive and unhealthy looking. But I think the worst part of it was the change in my eyes. Not five days before now, my bright hazel eyes were filled with a sense of hope and joy, they gave me the look of a young child. But now... They just looked empty and full of sorrow, void of all light and happiness. Just that small change in my eyes had aged my entire face about ten years, making me look tired and weary. It was depressing to think that one small change could do that to someone, in such a short amount of time.

I felt the subtle burning sensation behind my eyes, and knew what was coming. To save myself from crying, I tore my gaze away from my reflection and proceeded to retrieve my shoes from under the couch. After I struggled to pull them on my feet, I hauled myself off of the floor and stumbled toward the front door. I took one more deep breath to calm myself and stepped outside.

Completely ignoring my car in the driveway, I set off to Mikey's. I didn't trust myself to drive at that moment, my mind was all over the place. And besides, the walk gave me a chance to clear my thoughts of the horrible things my imagination had conjoured up over these past few days. I'd be no use to Mikey if I was a mess myself, so it was a good thing really. But if I was being honest with myself, Gerard was all I could think about. We'd all been worried sick ever since we found out he'd left the hospital four days ago. I mean, we'd been worried when he was first admitted to hospital, but at least then he was safe and in the hands of people who could care for him. But now we had no idea where he was, or whether he was safe or not. We'd all been out looking every single day, never giving up. We'd even checked his house, but there was never any sign of him. It was killing me knowing that he could be in danger, or that he was alone, wherever he was. Things were bad enough when we found out about Lindsey, but then he goes and runs out on us! Is he trying to make us worried?

My eyes were stinging with the tears I refused to let escape, and I realised with a start that I was standing outside Mikey's house. For a moment, I couldn't bring myself to walk to the door, so I just sat on the short, crumbling wall in front of the house and put my head in my hands, desperately trying to regain my composure for Mikey. He needed me, and I wanted to help him.

I must have been out there a while, because I jumped when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. My head whipped round to be met with an extremely crumpled Anthrax t-shirt, so I looked up to see the face of my disturber. The look on Mikey's face almost broke my heart. The skin around his eyes was red raw from crying, and his deep hazel eyes were watering profusely, a solitary tear trickling down his pale cheek. He looked as though he was biting back a sob, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip to the point where it was starting to bleed. I let out a breath of defeat and stood up.

"Oh, Mikes." I sobbed, lunging forward to encase him in a bone crushing hug. He returned the gesture with the same amount of force, if not more. I could tell from the one glance I got of his face, that he was hurting. Bad. But to postpone any emotional conversations, we stood there in the cold, not speaking and just hugging eachother as though our lives depended on it.

"Frank. I'm so worried." He stammered out in between his ongoing sobs. We pulled apart and made our way into Mikey's house, where we entered the living room and occupied the couch.

"I know you are, buddy, but all we can do is keep looking for him, or wait for him to come home. And you never know, he could just be at his house. You know what he's like, he prefers his own company at times like this." He relaxed a little at my words, but I could tell something was still bothering him.

"You're probably right, but if that is the case then I'm kind of pissed off. Did he not stop and think about what this would do to all of us? We've already lost Lindsey, and now he just vanishes without even a note or a phone call. I know he's upset, but that's just selfish!" He cried, tears streaming down his smooth cheeks.

"I know, I know.... But Gerard was so close with Lindsey. They did everything together, it was kind of sweet. I imagine he feels as though a part of him has gone with her. It's almost as if he's lost a sister. I'm not saying that I didn't like her, I loved her to pieces. She had one of the kindest nature's I've ever known, but her and Gerard connected in this special way... It was a beautiful friendship between them. And now that's gone..." I wiped my eyes, ridding myself of the tears escaping from my eyes.

"And he's hurting. More than any of us." Mikey finished sadly. "We need to find him, Frank. Before he does anything stupid."

"Okay, where do you wanna look?" I asked, sniffing.

"Umm... I'll look at the hospital again, see if he's checked back in. You check his house again." He jumped up from his seat and went to grab his jacket from the hallway, scooping his keys up into his hand. He got to the front door before he turned and looked back at me. "What are you waiting for?" He shouted. "Come on!" I leapt off of the couch and followed him outside.

~.~'~.~'~.~'~.~'~.~'~

My feet were beginning to ache from the vast amount of walking from Mikey's to find Gerard. As I zipped up my jacket to the top and rubbed my hands together, I couldn't help but wish I'd taken my car that morning. The wind outside had a harsh, biting feel to it, as though it were trying to break me down as I walked. I huddled into my jacket more and kept on my way to Gerard's house. The weather over the past few days hadn't really helped to raise anyone's spirits, it was bitter cold and the lack of sunlight had painted everything in a dull gray colour. It was just depressing.

I turned down Gerard's street after about 20 minutes, and I suddenly felt a hard lump emerge in the back of my throat. The nerves were creeping up on me as my mind went through the possible scenarios I could face upon finding Gerard. If he was even there... What if he's even more injured, taken a fall down some stairs or something? What if he hasn't been eating? What if he's...?

My mind cut off the question, unable to bear even the thought of Gerard not being... alive. Gerard may be upset, but I knew him well enough to know that he'd never do anything so drastic. He just wouldn't.

Gerard's house came into my line of vision, and I found myself breaking into a run to reach it quicker. I don't know why I got my hopes up, because I knew deep down that he wouldn't be here. We'd already checked. But regardless of that fact, I continued to run up to his front door, banging on it urgently.

"Gerard? Are you there? Please, if you're there just answer!" I waited, my ear against the door, listening for any sign of movement. Nothing. "Gerard, Please! I begged. "I just want you back, Gerard, I miss you! Mikey misses you!" Still no answer.

With a cry of hurt and exasperation, I walked next door to his neighbours house and rang the doorbell. A short blonde haired woman with startling blue eyes and a small, pale face answered after about a minute. "Can I help you?" She asked sweetly.

"Yeah, I don't suppose you know if Gerard's at home do you? You haven't seen him?" Her brow creased with concentration, before widening her eyes in remembrance.

"Yeah! I remember hearing a cab pulling up the other night really late, so I looked out the window and saw Gerard being practically carried inside by a cab driver. He looked in pretty bad shape, but the guy left after a while and I thought nothing of it. Why, is he okay?"

"No, he isn't. Listen, is he still there? He hasn't left again?"

"No... No, not as far as I know. He's still in there."

"Thank you! Sorry for bothering you, by the way, but you've been a great help." She grinned back, her pink lips pulling back to reveal a gleaming set of white teeth.

"It's not a problem. When you see him, give him my best wishes. The poor guy is so lovely, I hope he feels better soon."

"I'll be sure to pass that on!" I began walking away from the door again, waving goodbye. "Thanks again!"

I ran back across to Gerard's, knocking again and shouting his name. With a sigh of irritation, I realised that I wasn't going to get an answer, so I wandered around to the side of the house, looking in all of the windows. No sign of him. I reached the back door and tried knocking on that, knowing full well that it was in vain. I let out a growl of frustration and hit the door one last time, throwing myself on the floor. I leant up against the large, black door, gazing out at the small back garden filled with weeds and overgrown grass. It was quite a mess, but it was so Gerard. A bit rough around the edges, but strangely beautiful and inviting. As I turned my head skywards, I looked at every small detail around me. The paint on the door chipping off at the corners, the wood showing through. The shelter above the door with its crumbling bricks, each corner a safe haven for a large amount of spiders. As my eyes fell upon the insects, I felt a shudder go through my body, my head jerking to the side. It was that moment when I noticed the open kitchen window.

I jumped to my feet, dusting myself off and rushing over to it. My eyes examined it carefully... It was big enough for me to fit through, as I have quite a small build, but it was too high up. I'd never be able to get that high. My head turned to either side of me, searching for a means of getting up there. In the corner of the garden, a plastic chair was sat embedded into the mud, almost inviting me to take it. I dragged it over to sit underneath the small square window, and pulled myself up onto it. Actually getting through the window was harder than I expected, because I hadn't considered the other side. I carefully pulled myself up onto the window ledge and slipped one leg into the house. My foot made a clattering sound as it landed in a sink full of dishes. I winced at the sound and moved to place my foot at the edge of the sink, easing my other leg through behind it. I was struggling to keep my balance now, so when I let go of the window, I slipped and crashed to the floor. Surprisingly, I didn't make a lot of noise, save for the yelp of pain as I fell flat on my face. But I ignored the pain and got straight back up again, rubbing my cheek. That was going to bruise.

Immediately, I set out to look for Gerard. The kitchen, obviously nothing. When I went through to the living room, I saw something that caught my attention. The jacket and shoes Gerard was wearing when he was at the hospital. He must be here. I carried on looking downstairs, but I found no other sign of him. So I took my search upstairs. I looked in the bathroom, his bedroom, the spare bedroom and his study, and still nothing. When I returned downstairs, I was beginning to feel agitated. Where was he?!

I looked in all of the rooms twice more, out of pure desperation, and still came up empty. There was no sign of him, except his belongings. Just as I was about to give up with my search, I saw the white door, almost invisible as it blended into the wall. Of course! I can't believe I didn't even think about the basement! He spent pretty much all of his time there, so it wouldn't surprise me if that was where he was now. I stumbled over to the door, reaching out for the handle before stopping myself. I needed to go about this in a particular way, I couldn't just barge in there. He was probably fragile, so I needed to be gentle with him. I took a few more moments to compose myself in the right way before turning the handle.

My ears were met with silence as I stood in the doorway that lead down to the basement. I didn't want to go down, because I was scared of what sight would meet my eyes. But I knew that I couldn't stand there all day, so I stepped cautiously down the dark steps, keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of movement. Of course, I couldn't actually see anything in this light, so I ran my hand along the wall at the bottom of the staircase and felt around for the switch. As soon as my fingers brushed over the cold, hard form of the tiny lightswitch, I flipped it as fast as I could. At first, my eyesight was temporarily distorted as the sudden change in light blinded me. As my vision cleared, my mouth dropped open in pure shock. His studio, his one true sanctuary... He'd destroyed it. Completely.

Everything, the beautiful paintings, all of his pictures, his easels... All broken and destroyed beyond repair.

My eyes scanned the large basement for Gerard, but amongst this mess, it was difficult to spot him. But something I saw out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. A mess of tangled hair, each greasy strand black as night, was huddled in the corner of the room. I was suddenly extremely aware of my heart thumping in my chest, each beat unmistakable to my ears. My feet stayed fixed on the spot, not daring to move any closer. Instead, I called out tentatively.

"Gerard?" The body in the corner of the room remained unmoving. "Gerard?" I repeated louder, a hint of fear creeping into my voice. The change in volume causes his head to snap up, and what I saw made me gasp in shock.

I could hardly believe that this broken creature was the same man I knew just last week. His face- which was fairly damaged when I last saw him- was covered in dark purple bruises, creating a dark mask over his once pale features. He had a large amount of dried blood trailing down the right side of his head, where it had then dripped onto his bloodstained shirt. Gerard's left eye was swollen almost completely shut, but the expression in his right eye made my knees go weak with sorrow. In just that one eye, I saw complete agony, anger, and utter sorrow. It pained me to look at it.

We said nothing for a while, just staying there in the tense silence that filled the room. In an attempt to make my voice come out, I cleared my throat- only to cause Gerard to jump and cower further into the corner.

"Are you... Okay?" I asked, taking a cautious step towards him.

Immediately, he jumped up and held his hands out in front of him defensively. The way his face was twisted with pain as he struggled to hold himself upright made me cringe slightly. But then I saw the rest of his body, and all of my thoughts left my mind, complete and utter horror setting in. Gerard was never a big guy, he'd always been a bit on the skinny side, but I'd never seen anything like this. His clothes were hanging off his bony body, and I could just see a glimpse of his collar bone, straining against the tightly stretched skin as though it were attempting to break through. His hands had always been bony little things, but the change was obvious, each knuckle turning the skin a bright shade of white. But that wasn't the most shocking thing about his hands.

They were covered in blood. And it looked pretty fresh, still holding its bright crimson colour as it caught the light. That was when I noticed that his left arm was bleeding. Not heavily, but enough for my ears to register the slow dripping sounds as the blood spattered the floor.

"Gerard, what did you-"

"Get out." He interrupted in a quiet whisper, sounding assertive and most unlike the Gerard I've spoken to before.

"What? Gerard-"

"Get. Out." He spat out through gritted teeth, looking as though he were restraining himself from punching me.

"But- Mikey, Gerard. He's really worried about you, and-"

"I SAID GET OUT!" He limped over to me with surprising speed and raised a fist in the air.

Despite my shock, I managed to block the punch before it hit me in the eye, and began backing away from him, watching as his frame shook with anger. When I didn't leave, he raised his fist again and brought it down too fast for me to block it this time, resulting in a searing pain in my mouth.

I tripped backwards, landing on the staircase. I saw him advancing towards me again, and I was overcome with a fear I have never felt when around Gerard before. I realized that at that point in time, he wanted to hurt me. So I made a hasty attempt to show my surrender, by raising my hands in front of me.

"All right!" I burst. "I'll go... Ju- Just don't hurt me." I lifted myself up and began backing away slowly up the staircase, before running up and taking them two at a time.

When I got to the top, I wrenched the door open and slammed it shut behind me. I stayed there, breathing heavily for a minute or two, trying to get my head around the fact that I was genuinely afraid of Gerard back there. The look in his eyes showed pure hatred and anger, and it honestly terrified me. He looked as though he wanted to kill me on the spot.

For a moment, I considered running from the house, and leaving behind any potential danger that could be inflicted by Gerard. But my heart got the better of me, and I decided that no matter how much he didn't like it, I was staying. I had to help him. But I couldn't risk going back down to the basment, so I just slid my way down the wall until I was slumped on the floor against the cold plasterboard.

I figured that I should probably have texted Mikey, to let him know Gerard was safe and well... well, he was alive, anyway.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and typed my message to my friend.

Hey, Mikes. I found Gerard, he's safe. I know it will be hard for you, but you can't come here. He's not acting like himself, and he's being violent. I promise you I'll text you when I can get him to talk properly, but promise me you'll stay away. I can handle him myself, I don't need you risking it as well. ~F

I hit send and awaited his reply. He didn't take long, my phone making a 'ping' sound to alert me of his response.

Frank, what the hell is wrong with him? Are you sure you're safe? If you don't want me to, I won't come down, but you have to keep me posted. Otherwise I'll have no choice but to visit. Be careful, Frank. ~M

I hastily tapped away at my phone, replying to him.

He's just not acting like himself, he's calmed down a bit now, but he managed to hit me. I'm going to try and talk to him again later, but for now I think just one person would be best to make sure he stays calm. I promise I'm safe, and I can keep him under control. I'll text you later, Mikes. ~F

Without waiting for a reply, I sent my phone sliding across the floor to the other side of the room, and rested my head against the wall. Trying to ignore the pain in my mouth, I began to fall into a restless sleep.

And that's that chapter done! I hope it was worth the LONG wait (again, I apologise "/)
I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible, but no promises, because I have shitloads of coursework to do "/

Love you all,
~BulletproofNinja xo