FicWad

It was insane. I wasn't scared that he was there. In fact, I was kind of expecting it. It wasn't the first time I'd seen him.

It started about a week ago. I woke up in the middle of the night but this time I wasn't all sweaty or panicking or crying. I'd been having a pretty nice dream. I'd finally dreamt about something else other than Mikey. I smiled and buried back under the duvet, trying to remember my sweet dream and hoping that things would be okay now. My thoughts were interupted by a voice saying "No way are you over it yet."

I reached out for my bedside table lamp and flicked it on before sitting up slowly. At the end of my bed was my dog Bruno, fast asleep. Sitting next to him was Mikey Way. He looked pretty good. His hair was perfect, his glasses freshly cleaned by his fingers... They were black and blue, covered in dried blood. I tried my best not to look at them and looked away from him "Umm you do know it's rude to ignore people, right?"

I ignored him, trying to focus on my breathing. This was just a dream. A bad dream. Any minute now I'd wake up if I just tried to focus on the fact that I was in a dream... "Come on Jasmine, you're starting to get on my nerves now. Don't be so pathetic."

He didn't sound like a soul-sucking demon or even just a ghost. He sounded exactly like he used to sound. So I sighed and returned my gaze to him "There. That's better." Mikey smiled "God, anyone would think you'd seen a ghost!" He burst out laughing but then turned serious "But seriously. You'd better not get over me that easily."

"Wha... What?"

"You were dreaming about something else. Someone else." Mikey told me "You can't do that. You should be thinking about me every second. About what happened to me."

"You're not real." I told him. I tried to sound firm but my voice wobbled and I knew I sounded terrified "You're not real and I'm going to wake up now." I closed my eyes and started humming a lullaby that my Mom would sing to me if I ever had a nightmare.

"You sound like a crazy person Jazz. Now look at me."

I didn't want to but I sighed and looked at him. Mikey smiled "There. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"What do you want from me?" I asked, snapping at myself inside my head. He wasn't real. What was I doing talking to him?

Mikey rolled his eyes and smirked. It was a smirk I'd seen a million times before "What do I want from you? Someone to talk to perhaps? A friendly shoulder to cry on? Someone to sympathize with the fact that I'm fucking dead!" Anger flashed across his features so quickly before he returned to smirking.

"You're not real." I said, my voice shaking.

Mikey raised his eye-brows "Sure about that are you?"

"But you're-"

"Dead? Tell me something I don't know Sugar."

I shook my head, scowling at him "No. You're not real, this is just a dream and I'm going to make you go away." I buried under the duvet and counted to two hundred before popping my head out and looking around.

"BOO!" Mikey yelled right in my face, causing me to jump "Wow. You always were an odd one, weren't you?"

"Stop it. I'm going back to sleep now or waking up or whatever and I'm going to get away from you." I buried under the duvet again, closing my eyes and praying that I'd fall asleep soon.

"Fine. Be like that. But I'll be back Jazz. You can't forget about me so easily."

I waited for as long as I possibly could before I dared peak again, expecting him to still be sitting there. But he was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief, praying it was over now. I laid awake for hours, too scared to go to sleep but also too scared to stay awake. But finally I fell asleep and woke up to Bruno licking my face. I pushed him off and tried to convince myself that it had just been a crazy dream and that I'd never have to see him again.

I'd seen him twice more since that night.

The next time was last Thursday night. It was another night of a perfect nightmare-less sleep. He was sitting on my desk, on top of yesterday's clothes. He was talking non-stop and I couldn't block him out, not even by putting my pillow over my head. He was going on about how I'd kept my room pink and how babyish it was and was I ever going to grow up? He said it looked like this the last time he'd come over a few years ago.

It was a surprise one afternoon. I was about ten and had grown out of the whole 'pink' thing by then but it was Mom's surprise and she was a bit too busy focusing on the whole 'not dying' thing that she didn't have time to notice my preferences. She was wearing a pink scarf around her bald head that day to mark the special occassion. I'd been staying at a friends home and I'd come back to a bright pink room.

So no, I'd never changed it and I never planned to.

Eventually I managed to block Mikey out long enough for me to fall asleep. When I woke up, he was gone and this time I hoped he wouldn't come back.

It was different last night. I woke up crying and panting after another nightmare. Mikey was there, smirking at me "Now that's more like it." He smirked at me while I wished he'd just go away and leave me alone. Tomorrow would be hard enough without him here talking to me "I prefer it when you have nightmares. You should have nightmares. It's the least you deserve."

I swallowed, closing my eyes and not looking at him. Pretending to be asleep. He carried on "So tomorrow's my big day, right? Wish I was still alive to see it. Looks like you're gonna need to squeeze out a few tears for the day. Maybe you should take a raw onion."

I ignored him and carried on pretending to sleep. Eventually he left me alone but not before telling me that I should squeeze into my skinny purple jeans. That surprised me. How did he know about them? I'd left them stored at the bottom of my wardrobe. They were a little too small for me and I hated the way they looked so I never wore them out of the house. When I was rifling through my wardrobe for what to wear this morning, I was pretty sure I'd ignore Mikey's request but I figured - What could it hurt?

But then he returned and started asking all sorts of questions about his funeral. I ignored him and sat down at my desk, trying to start an essay that Daley had set us on a book that I actually quite liked but I couldn't concentrate. Not with Mikey prattling in my ear the entire time "Look, could you leave me alone? I need to get on with my homework."

"Finally! She speaks! Let me tell you, watching someone do homework is way more boring than actually doing homework. Now come on, I want details. Tell me everything."

So I sighed and told him everything. Who was there, who wasn't there, even though I was pretty sure he already knew (he raised an eye-brow when I told him that Mia hadn't shown up.) Who cried, who hadn't. The music, the speeches, everything. The only time the smirk disappeared from his face was when I told him about Gerard's speech. He actually burst out laughing when I told him about Daley's speech.

"Wow the old bitch LOVES me. Well, loved me."

"God knows why."

"Because I played the game Jazz." Mikey smirked "Told people what they wanted to hear. It's all about that and being the person you want them to be."

"Why can't you just be yourself?"

Mikey laughed again "You should know better than anyone Jasmine that being yourself doesn't get you anywhere."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is! What do you think people say at your funeral? 'Oh yes I think I remember Jasmine, she sat behind me in History...'"

I couldn't take anymore of this. I stood up from my desk and made my way to my bedroom door, pretty certain that he wouldn't follow me downstairs "Where do you think you're going? I'm not finished with you yet."

I sighed and turned back around to face him "Look, I'm sorry your dead Mikey."

"Are you?"

"Yes!" I cried "But I can't do anything now. I just need to get on with my life and forget about you. I'm sorry. What happened to you was AN ACCIDENT." He didn't say anything and I really hate awkward silences so I repeated "An accident."

"Was it?" Mikey asked, raising his eye-brows.

"Yes!"

"So you actually know what happened?"

"Yes... No... I don't know." My thoughts were all clustered inside my head.

"Well you need to find out the truth Jasmine. For my sake. You owe me that much."

I turned and walked downstairs, thinking about what he said. He was right. But I knew the truth didn't I? Though I hadn't been there when he'd taken his actual last breath, had I? My thoughts were starting to scare me.