Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Story Reviews
Still following the same basic structure, however I'm adding an apology to the beginning of this one. I haven't read all of this this I'm reviewing what I've read so far, I hope that works. I can come back a do a review of the whole thing later if you want to, however writing is usually pretty constant throughout a story so hopefully I'll be able to help still.
Summery: Classic friends with benefits from what I can see for far. Told from an OC, Mia's point of view. Frank's a little crazy, she's a sort of grounding figure, they're best friends. For now.
Good points: Frank is quite charming so far, some of the anecdotes- especially the xmas one- are very funny. You haven't put your OC on a pedestal, that can be very off putting in fan fiction.
What needs to be improved: The story line, or the idea I guess since I haven't finished yet, is very cliche, you see it in every rom com and in a lot of teen fiction. Though Frank is funny, his character is also a little unbelievable, he's very hard to relate to. Your chapters are very short, and they don't leave the reader pining for more.
How to do this: It isn't strictly something that can be fixed, i'd just make sure that your characters and the underlying themes stand out, make them different and give people a reason to read. Think about what is reasonable, Frank needs to be someone that you'd pine for in order for the reader to understand the story, think of realistic situations that are still funny. Flesh out your paragraphs and add in more dialog that explains more of the characters, use descriptions and add more meat to the stories of past Frank, you should be aiming for 2000 to 5000 word chapters. Leave your readers wondering at the ends of chapters, throw in red herrings and cliff hangers and people will keep reading.
Hope this helped!
Summery: Classic friends with benefits from what I can see for far. Told from an OC, Mia's point of view. Frank's a little crazy, she's a sort of grounding figure, they're best friends. For now.
Good points: Frank is quite charming so far, some of the anecdotes- especially the xmas one- are very funny. You haven't put your OC on a pedestal, that can be very off putting in fan fiction.
What needs to be improved: The story line, or the idea I guess since I haven't finished yet, is very cliche, you see it in every rom com and in a lot of teen fiction. Though Frank is funny, his character is also a little unbelievable, he's very hard to relate to. Your chapters are very short, and they don't leave the reader pining for more.
How to do this: It isn't strictly something that can be fixed, i'd just make sure that your characters and the underlying themes stand out, make them different and give people a reason to read. Think about what is reasonable, Frank needs to be someone that you'd pine for in order for the reader to understand the story, think of realistic situations that are still funny. Flesh out your paragraphs and add in more dialog that explains more of the characters, use descriptions and add more meat to the stories of past Frank, you should be aiming for 2000 to 5000 word chapters. Leave your readers wondering at the ends of chapters, throw in red herrings and cliff hangers and people will keep reading.
Hope this helped!
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