FicWad

Chapter 5

“Uhh, please, please, please, please, please don’t screw this up! It may be your only chance…” Mikey whispered under his breath as he sat awkwardly on the red cushion of one of the metal chairs, hunched over and fidgeting with his hands. He couldn’t possibly be more nervous. The thought of meeting Frank Iero was making his insides twist uncomfortably as he waited impatiently for the older boy to arrive. Now that he was actually here, he began to realize what a mistake this was, texting Frank and asking to hang out. He probably had a million friends his own age he’d rather be hanging out with. But, then again, he did say yes…

Mikey looked up from the gray marble pattern on the small squared table for two, tucked away in the corner of the café, scanning the world outside the large window, that stretched across the entire front of Starbucks, in anticipation to see the quiet, mysterious boy who spent his life hiding behind his straightened dark hair. Instead he witnessed only the busy street and crowded sidewalks right behind the glass. The sky, gray and cloudy as always, and the never ending rows of buildings towering over the city made the place seem like a never ending world of car fumes and concrete. This was why he hated leaving the peace and comfort of suburbs, thought the walk into the center of Belleville was only a short one.

The boy almost didn’t notice when Frank emerged from the angry city crowd, each person rushing somewhere, trying their best to make as much money as possible in a useless attempt to buy their own happiness. He stood up as the small, silver bell above the door rang and Frank stepped into the café. “Frank! I’m glad you could make it.” He smiled as he tried to look past the boy’s hair and into those secretive eyes.

Frank responded by muttering a quick ‘hey’ and lifting his gloved hand for a brief moment as he sat down opposite Mikey.

Mikey’s face lit up even more as he continued to stare at Frank, picking up the small, laminated menu. “What kind of coffee would you like? They honestly have it all!”

“Uhh, anything without dairy, I guess.” Frank mumbled, staring down at the dirty table and assuming that nobody had had time to wipe it before Mikey sat down. He didn’t feel like talking, or even just being here. He was perfectly aware of how rude he was being, but he just couldn’t bring himself to look up at Mikey. All he saw was a younger Gerard with glassed, straightened sandy hair and a slightly larger nose.

“Oh…” Mikey bit his lip as he scanned the menu. “Well, there’s not too many options in that case… Are you a vegan?” He asked casually, looking up at Frank with curiosity.

“Lactose intolerant.”

“Oh, right.” The younger boy smiled. “Well, you could still have-”

“Why did you want to meet up?” Frank cut him off, finally managing to look up. He was sitting with his forearms parallel to the edge of the table and his fingers laced together, glaring straight ahead with his head tilted slightly and his eyes colder than ever. Mikey found this incredibly intimidating and was definitely taken aback.

“Err…” Mikey uttered, straightening up slightly in his chair and staring right back at Frank. “Well, I wanted to hang out. We only met once, very briefly, and… and I… I wanted to see why Gerard’s always gone on about you so much…” He felt his face burning up. Even he knew that this was a stupid idea, although he hadn’t expected Frank to act like this. From what he knew Frank was a really nice guy, so he sensed that something might be wrong. “I realize this may be awkward… But, are you okay? I mean…” He trailed off.

“I’m fine.” Frank snapped, looking down at the miniature menu. “I’ll have a simple black coffee…” His voice softened and he sighed, placing a hand on his forehead. “Look, I’m sorry, Mikey. I know I’m not exactly being the best company…”

“No! Honestly, it’s fine!” Mikey replied immediately. “As long as you’re sure you’re okay.”

Frank simply nodded, shutting his eyes as he did so and running a hand through his hair. This was almost as weird as he imagined it to be, although, in his mind, they would have both been sat in a tense and awkward silence. At least it wasn’t like that.

After a pause, Mikey decided he should ask – or at least he wanted to, “Is it about Naomi?” He trembled a little, now unsure if he should have asked or not.

“Who?” The older boy glanced up at him, clearly taken by surprise.

“I… I heard that you guys broke up. I’m sorry, I want to say I know how you feel, though I’ve never really been dumped before…” Trailing off, Mikey looked down at his fingers and fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Uh, what?” Frank scoffed incredulously, looking at his acquaintance with eyebrows raised high and amusement playing across his face. “She didn’t dump me!” He announced loudly, making Mikey jump a little and look up from the table. “I dumped her.” He emphasized.

This time it was Mikey’s turn to raise his eyebrows. Frank dumped the most ‘popular’ girl in school? Frank, who, despite his not-so-secret charm, had never had a girlfriend before? That Frank? He’d thought that Frank was desperate enough to stay with a girl just for the good part. A ray of hope suddenly shot through him, and the sudden idea that maybe, hopefully, Frank just wasn’t into girls at all made him struggle to keep the wide smile he could feel coming on from spreading across his face. No. That couldn’t be it. It was Frank for heaven’s sake.

“Why does it come as such a surprise to everyone?” Frank was once again looking down at his menu, frowning as he turned it over and decided to change the subject, seeing Mikey blush in embarrassment. “Anyway, I though they sold all kinds of things other than coffee here…” His frown deepened as he put the miniature menu back, unable to find what he was looking for.

“Umm, well, they normally sell lots of stuff in Starbucks, but there are two in town and this is the small one.” Mikey explained, watching the other boy look around the café to find only five tables for two and a small bar. “They only sell coffee in this one. It’s actually pretty convenient if all you want is to buy a drink to keep you awake without getting tangled in the crowd and waiting in line for fifteen minutes.”

Finally turning back around to look at Mikey from behind his hair, he announced, “I’ll stick to the basic espresso.” At first he wasn’t sure exactly what Mikey intended on talking about, but as he eyed the younger boy sat opposite him, he noticed that they may have more in common than he imagined. They both had straightened hair, although Mikey’s was sandy-blond and Frank’s was dyed jet black, and both of them sort of used it as a shield, hiding one or both eyes from the world around them. Then there was the fact that they both knew Gerard really well and they both loved him, though in completely different ways. He let his eyes wander slightly further down, as if scanning the boy like something out of a sci-fi movie. That’s when something finally caught his eye. Frank choked.

“You alright?” Concern was building in Mikey’s voice as he stared in horror across the table at Frank, unsure of whether it was serious, or just a bad cough.

Frank held up his hand, letting Mikey know that he was fine, as he finally caught his breath and looked up at the boy in shock. “You like the Misfits?” His eyes widened as he squealed almost excitedly.

The truth was, Mikey had only just listened to two or three songs the night before, he knew nothing about the band and the T-shirt wasn’t even his. Could he really lie to Frank? Well, he had no choice now. He couldn’t come off as one of those people who wear T-shirts of bands they don’t even know. Panicking, he finally answered, “Yeah, I love them,” sinking in his seat as he lied. The truth was, he was never even that into all this rock music.

“That’s so awesome! What’s your favorite song?” Frank questioned in excitement, placing his palms on the tabletop and leaning forward, smiling like an idiot. He’d completely forgotten about Gerard, and the fact that he was grounded. At least for now… Right now he had to be overjoyed about the fact that Mikey was actually into some cool stuff.

“Umm, err, uh…” The boy sighed, giving himself an extra few seconds to think as carefully as he could about his answer. He could barely remember the titles of the songs he’d heard. “I… I don’t… I don’t have a favorite…” He finally uttered. “They’re all just… genius.”

“These,” Frank placed his hands firmly on the table between him and Mikey, “are official Misfits skeleton gloves.” A large grin was slowly spreading across his face, becoming so wide that he almost resembled The Joker. “Got them at a gig! Jealous yet?”

“Umm… So w-where’s the waitress?” Mikey stammered, taking Frank’s question as a rhetorical one and tucking a strand of straightened, sandy hair under his black beanie as he studied the table, avoiding the other boy’s eyes. He’d never been comfortable with lying, especially not to his crush. Especially not to Frank Iero.

“Actually, I think you just have to go up to the counter…” Frank chuckled slightly, turning in his seat to look at the three people lined up behind the small counter, waiting impatiently to order their own drinks, as he realized they’d been waiting for nothing. “I’ll go up. What do you want?” He turned to his new friend, who was no longer having a staring contest with the table, the redness fading from his face, revealing the paleness of his bony cheeks once again.

“Oh, umm… hazelnut latté. My favorite…”The boy smiled warmly as Frank got up from his chair and searched his front left pocket for money. “Thanks.” He added, sliding five dollars to pay for his own coffee across the table towards Frank, avoiding the coffee rings left by whoever was here last.

Taking the money obediently, Frank smiled and turned away, making his way to the back of the short line. The sweet, sweet smell of fancy drinks with milk and whipped cream on top, served with all kinds of delicious cookies and various small snacks flooded his mind, making it harder than ever for him to think straight. He wished more than ever that he could drink all the lattés and whipped cream without embarrassing himself later. Especially in front of Mikey, who had turned out to be rather cool. Were all the members of the Way family this nice and funny? His mind wandered back to Gerard, and how he’d probably forgotten all about him now, after what happened.

“Oi, sweetie, I don’t have all day. I said next!” A rather squeaky voice mixed with an exaggerated New Jersey accent brought him right back down to reality.

“I’m so sorry!” Frank gasped, wide-eyed, as he took a step towards the large lady – the owner of the voice – biting his lip awkwardly. “One hazelnut latté and one regular black coffee please.” He spoke, sliding the money towards the woman and immediately moving his hand as she reached for it, giving Frank a look he didn’t quite understand.


Mikey watched carefully as Frank carried the coffee back to the table, struggling not to spill any from the overflowing cardboard cups. He never asked for coffee to go, so the fact that he got cardboard cups unlike everyone else made him feel as if the lady didn’t trust him. He could still feel her gaze on his back as he set the drinks down and took a seat.

“Thanks, Frank.” Mikey smiled, sliding his latté closer to him. There was a moment of intense silence, before he spoke up again. “So, you taking any girls out for Valentine’s day this year?” He asked conversationally, looking up at Frank as he set down his drink.

Frank looked startled as he looked right back at his friend. Valentine’s Day? He’d completely forgotten about that, what with Naomi, Gerard, his parents and everything else that was happening lately. “Huh? Valentine’s?” He spoke, looking bewildered.

“Yeah… It’s in three days… there are posters advertising it all over the school, as if it needed any more attention… I mean, it doesn’t really matter. I was just curious.” The younger boy explained slowly, turning his attention back to the steaming drink in front of him. The truth was, he wanted to know if he should try and work up the guts to ask Frank out, even if they just ended up going to the movies one time. But he could never admit that. Not just yet anyway…

“Oh, err, right. I completely forgot. It was the last thing on my mind… So, nah, I’m definitely not doing anything this year. Just like the past 14 years…” Frank replied, gazing at the table, where his index finger was creating invisible patterns, his other hand around his neck, supporting him. “What about you?” He asked quietly.

Mikey simply chuckled, sipping his coffee. Frank looked up at him through his eyelashes, genuinely interested in what his response would be. Not that it mattered; he didn’t like Mikey that way. He liked Gerard, and, although they shared the same blood, they weren’t the same. His frown deepened at the thought of Gerard and he bit his bottom lip to avoid Mikey getting worried that he didn’t care. “Me having a date on Valentine’s day is like…” He struggled to find a good comparison, “It’s like Gerard having a date at all!” He laughed, though Frank found the joke anything but amusing.

“Anyone in particular you’d want to spend it with?” Frank attempted to distract himself from thought of Gerard once again, and avoid having to laugh at Mikey’s joke, but blushed when he realized that guys normally talked about how to get laid on Valentine’s day, rather than who would be their perfect date.

“Well…” Mikey blushed too, running his index finger around the edge of the lid on his latté, smirking a little. “There is one person…”

“Tell me about her! Is she cute? Is she funny? Is she smart?” Once again Frank realized he was sounding like an obsessed schoolgirl and lowered his gaze to the table. He’d never seen any guy act like this – straight or not.

Mikey couldn’t help but chuckle again, nodding his head slightly. “The whole package, actually…” The fact that Frank used the words ‘her’ and ‘she’ four times wasn’t too comforting. He was clearly straight as a ruler and there was no denying it. He just hoped that Frank was more like one of those bendable rulers you could get nowadays.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go get her before she’s with someone else!” Frank nudged his friend’s arm gently, causing him to smirk again. If only it was that simple. Life would be amazing. If he could only change the way Frank saw guys. But not just any guys. It had to be Mikey. He had to be the one for Frank. He was determined to be, no matter who or what stood in his way. He’d fight for him and lose a few times if he had to, as long as he won in the end. Knowing that he wasn’t the only person who felt this way, he thought up master plans every evening, but each one had its own flaws…

“It’s really not as simple as that.” Mikey frowned, scratching the table with his bitten-down fingernail, his cheeks reddening slowly.

“I know the feeling,” Frank sighed, suddenly avoiding Mikey’s eyes, as the younger boy looked up in surprise. Surely Frank couldn’t be talking about the same think. Or could he…? No. That couldn’t be it, no matter how much Mikey wanted it to be.

“You do?” His voice was entangled with shock as he pushed away the sweet thought of Frank talking about liking guys. Immediately clearing his throat, he changed his tone to a friendly, questioning one, raised his eyebrows and added, “I mean, you like someone as well?” Mikey’s insides were knotting and tightening as he secretly prayed that he was the person Frank liked, though the chances of that were slim. In fact, there was almost no chance at all. Frank had only just met Mikey, apart from that time at the party, completely unaware of just how much Mikey stalked him every day for the past few months.

“Uh… I… Well, I, uh… ” Frank stammered, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck awkwardly as his face reddened. Crap, he thought, mentally scolding himself. He couldn’t possibly tell Mikey that he liked his older brother. That would be creepy. And weird. And creepy. Besides, Mikey actually turned out to be rather awesome and Frank didn’t need to lose any more friends. The other thing was, he hadn’t actually come out of the closet just yet, apart from telling Gerard, and he wasn’t planning on it anytime soon. He was now wishing he’d never opened his mouth as he desperately searched his mind for something to say. “I… there is someone, but it’s not a big deal, really. It’s not a deal at all. It’s nothing, forget I even said anything! It’s… I mean…” He began to babble, not paying much attention to Mikey’s raised eyebrows and amused expression. “What…?” He asked slowly as he noticed the way Mikey was staring at him.

The younger boy chuckled in response. “You are so obviously obsessed with this person…” He felt a wave of jealousy and defeat wash over him as he realized that Frank was in fact obsessed with someone, but it most likely wasn’t him. It couldn’t be…

“I am not!” Frank slapped Mikey’s arm gently, causing the boy to jump a little as he snapped out of his thoughts of Frank. “Just because I don’t wanna talk about someone doesn’t mean I’m obsessed with-”

“Yes it does.” Mikey smirked, returning to his coffee and looking up at Frank over the thick, black frames of his glasses. Although the playfulness in his voice was faked, his smile was genuine. It was hard not to smile while looking almost directly into those large, golden and painfully innocent eyes. Almost, if not for the curtain of smooth, black hair that covered them 24/7.

Frank sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I’d love to sit all day and argue about this, but I gotta use the restroom.” He yawned, stretching his arms into the air.

“Oh, right. Err, I think it’s just around that corner,” Mikey explained, pointing to the space behind Frank.

“Thanks, I won’t be long.” The older boy stated, looking over his shoulder at Mikey as he got to his feet and began walking away from the table. Mikey simply nodded as he watched Frank. However, a few seconds later something caught his eye. He bent down to pick up a small, black book from the floor underneath the table. It was about A6 in size, but actually rather thick. The cover was made of thick black card and the whole book was slightly bent, probably from being carried around in a pocket all day. Turning it over, Mikey noticed a peeling white label with the name Frank Iero scrawled carelessly on the front. Unable to help himself, Mikey turned over the cover, finding an entire page filled top to bottom with messy but tiny handwriting, and a date at the top. Every page was like this, until about fifteen pages in, when the writing stopped. Mikey glanced at the last entry, squinting as he tried to read the messy black letters.

I was really drunk out of my mind; I barely remember it to be honest. But I still remember exactly what happened… how could I forget?

Mikey read, suddenly becoming almost addicted to the writing.

I… I must have said it out loud. Yeah, I definitely did. It’s not like I meant to, the alcohol was controlling me. Anyway, before I knew what was happening, Gerard was there, in front of me, his face so lose to mine, his breath-

Mikey’s eyes widened and a cold chill ran down his back. What was Frank on about? Was this just fiction? Maybe it was something for school that he had to help Gerard with… Yeah, probably. Hopefully… No chance. It must have been a dream diary! That would have made perfect sense.

He began to kiss me, knocking over the pickle jar. Neither of us really cared though. I didn’t know what to think, but all my instincts were telling me to kiss back, and obviously I did. How could I not? This guy is everything I ever wanted!

This didn’t sound like a dream diary to Mikey. Suddenly his mind wandered off-topic slightly and focused on the pickles. Gerard and Mikey always ate pickles when they were drunk. It was like a Way tradition, and it did actually help. Kind of like bread, but not in the same way… Too bad that morning when he came home from his party, still drunk, the jar was gone. Wait a minute? The jar was gone?

‘…knocking over the pickle jar.’

He gasped as he came to a sudden realization. Frank must have been there that night. It was all true. It had to be… Frank and Gerard. And that’s who Frank was ‘obsessed’ with! Mikey’s own brother! But… Gerard knew exactly how Mikey felt about Frank long before. How could he betray him like that? And were they together now? Mikey felt sick and dizzy as hundreds of thoughts raced through his mind. His brother had betrayed him.

He was shaken out of his trance by Frank’s casual ‘hey’. His head shot up from where he’d been glaring at the table and he gave Frank a panicked look.

“I- I- I… I have to go.” He announced, downing the rest of his latté as he got up, his chair sliding back and nearly toppling over if not for the wall behind him.

Frank simply stared at the shaking Mikey, freezing just as he was about to sit back down. His eyes narrowed slightly as he eyed the boy suspiciously. What could have happened to cause Mikey to feel the need to flee like that? Unless it was something bad… Frank’s narrowed eyes suddenly widened in concern, his expression softening a little. “Mikey, is… is everything alright? What happened?”

The younger boy continued to stare at Frank, disappointment and anger building up inside him slowly, bitter tears threatening to spill from his eyes, which were now more innocent than ever. He was really more shocked than sad, but he never took shock well. He hated surprises, and this… this was definitely a surprise. He placed one hand on the wall behind him as he pulled his long, black coat off the back of his chair before wrapping it around himself like some kind of maniac. “I’m fine.” His response was surprisingly quick, the words disappearing into the air as fast as they were said.

“Y-you sure…? You don’t seem fine…” Frank’s voice was quiet and cautious as his concern grew. He had no idea what was happening. He wondered if Mikey just acted like this, if he had a mental disability. Like bipolar disorder, or something that made him forget what was going on, like Alzheimer’s. It’s not like Mikey had arranged this just to get some kind of information out of him and then leave, since Frank never really told him anything. What if Gerard put him up to this? Frank let out and almost inaudible gasp at the thought. Was this all a part of a joke that Gerard decided to play…

Mikey just nodded quickly, his head buried in his own shoulders, avoiding any eye contact with Frank. “I just have to go.” His voice, barely a whisper, was now shaking, much like the rest of him. His eyes shifted from the floor to Frank, meeting his eyes which were wide with surprise, concern, and everything in between.

Frank nodded idly, continuing to stare vacantly at Mikey, who was now shakily moving away from the table, his knees turned inwards slightly as he shuffled awkwardly along the floor.

“I’m really sorry. I… I just found out some disturbing news and… I’m sorry.” With that Mikey hurried out the glass door, sending a winter breeze into the café, leaving Frank stood alone next to an empty table, unsure of what had just happened. The amount of thoughts he had in just that moment was unreal, though most of them focused on Gerard. What was the disturbing news? Is it about Gerard? Was Gerard hurt? Maybe he felt so bad about what happened that… No. It was Gerard; he wouldn’t do anything like that. What if he’d texted Mikey that Frank was the only one for him and Mikey found that upsetting for some reason? Nah, that couldn’t possibly be it.

Frank snapped out of his train of thought when he realized he was still standing in the middle of Starbucks, his arms bent awkwardly by his sides, fists clenched slightly. He found that his lips were parted and he was whispering his thoughts quietly to himself. He must have looked like a freak, and it seemed like others had noticed too. Grabbing his unfinished coffee, he headed out the door the same way Mikey had, just minutes earlier, before breaking into a half-run and heading in the direction of his house. But he wasn’t going home just yet…