Reviews for The Suicidal Immortal 2: 7 :: FicWad: fresh-picked original and fan fiction

Categories > Original > Humor > The Suicidal Immortal 2

7

by Togot 1 review

Ever have a day where everything goes wrong? For Derek that is every day and he wants to end it. There's just one problem, it seems that he can't

Category: Humor - Rating: R - Genres: Humor, Sci-fi - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2006-07-31 - Updated: 2006-07-31 - 1700 words

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Reviews

The Suicidal Immortal 2

(#) Ithilwen 2006-07-31

"He would have hoped that nothing would happen to it but he had learned that hoping didn't help much."

It's not clear what "it" is. Say "the car" either in this sentence or the previous one.

"He also hated that nick wasn't in "

Minor typo: Nick.

Ah well. I guess the tests and soda made it easier to pull off the bird droppings.

I was sort of expecting the thing with Nick to be other than what Derek had thought. It would have been cool foreshadowing.

Another chapter that has me cringing in a good way. Your story reminds the heck out of me of this webcomic, particularly this entry: http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02012003.shtml
Author's response
Appreciative as always and that was foreshadowing but for a latter chapter, keep your eyes open.

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