Categories > Books > Harry Potter
Reviews
Coach Granger
(#) tenga 2015-04-20
Overall, it was a very good story.
There were a few things that bothered me- Hermione's manipulating Harry, Harry's relationship with Luna- which happened off-screen over the course of a paragraph or two, and then she died, and apart from the Ravenclaw common room incident, there seemed to be no grief or reaction from anyone -, Hermione's inability to decide whether she's gay or not- first she isn't, then she is, then she is but still sleeps with Harry, then she isn't again. That girl goes through phases like changes of clothes. Then there's Harry's passiveness when people manipulate him, spend his entire inheritance frivolously without so much as a 'sorry', and i know he was a teenager, but generally you expect a little better from your protaganist than to sleep with anyone who offers.
Then there's the ending- i know you left a lot unresolved to leave the door open for potential sequals, but you shouldn't do that unless you are committed to writing one. Otherwise the ending just seems lazy.
Hermione is my favourite canon character. But here- i really didn't like her. She was manipulative, unnecessarily harsh, unsympathetic, unempathetic, and a lot of other negarive words that begin with 'un'. She was unlikeable and i started to genuinely think Harry's life would be better if someone killed her.
That said, i only had a problem with one character and some of the content. Everything else was great. Your writing style is good, the other characters were diverse enough to be believable, you didn't rush the 'get rid of Dumbledore' plot like so many authors do.
Overall- 7/10.
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