FicWad

"Okay, so let me get this straight. I spend the night and I get breakfast in bed. Now I actually spend the night in your bed, but I barely get a good morning?"

"Sorry, Frank, but you're going to have to take care of yourself this morning. I'm so damn late and I can't be late," Amy said, running around the room in her haste to get ready. "If you wanted breakfast, you shouldn't have..."

"I can do without breakfast," I grinned, leaning back in bed with my hands behind my head.

Amy paused to stare at me with her mouth hanging open slightly. She shut her mouth and her cheeks turned a slight red. My grin grew wider at this. She really was the most adorable human being I've ever met, and yes, I get what a ridiculous compliment that was to give a girl, since little kids were supposed to be adorable, but she was and I couldn't deny it. The blonde shook her head probably in an attempt to regain her senses and then continued her run to the mirror.

"Frank, really I'm starting to wonder about your hormone levels. You have too much energy and you're way too horny."

"I'm a guy. What else do you expect?" I shrugged innocently.

"Fair enough, but from what I can tell, you have way too much sex. Maybe you should see a shrink or go to a rehab centre. You might have an addiction."

"At least it's a healthy addiction," I said, pretty sure of my words.

"Frank..."

Amy sighed, turning around to look at me again as she put her hair up with a large pin, keeping them all in place.

"What?"I asked innocence personified.

Before she could reply a cell phone started ringing loudly and I reached over to the bedside table to snatch it up, pressing the answering button and bringing it to my ear.

"Hello."

"Frank, where are you?"

"Gerard?"I said surprised to hear my best friend's voice. "Uhm, why do you ask?" I want to know, sitting up straighter.

"Because I'm at your house to pick you up, but you're not here," he answered.

Fuck.Of course he was picking me up. It was a week day and we still weren't finished in the studio, but I'm not home, obviously.

"Your mom said you left in a hurry last night and never came home," he continued after a while, probably realizing that I wasn't going to respond. "Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine. Uhm thanks, but you don't have to worry about me today. I still have my mom's car. I'll be at the studio by the time you get there."

"Frank, I'd rather know that you're okay than whether or not you're going to be on time for work or not." He sounded stern, but I chose to ignore this.

I looked up to see Amy come running back into the room and shoving all sorts of objects into her huge handbag.

A small smile crossed my face as I gave him and earnest reply, "I'm good, Gee."

I heard him let out a breath and say, "Good. I'll see you soon then."

"Hey, Gee can you let my mom know that I'm okay?"

"Sure. Bye." With that he hung up.

"Gerard?"Amy questioned, looking over at me.

I nod, "Yeah, I forgot to let him know that he didn't have to pick me up this morning." I got out of bed and walked over to where she was grabbing her jacket and putting it on. "I've been somewhat preoccupied these last few hours. It completely slipped my mind," I grinned, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulled her into an embrace. I was about to kiss her when she pulled back.

"Frank, I really don't have time for this," the blonde beauty smiled apologetically.

"Goodbye?"

She sighed quietly and I knew I had won. Grinning victoriously, I pull her closer once more and kiss her deeply.

"Okay, now I really have to go," Amy stated, pulling out of my grip and out of my reach. "Lock up when you leave. I'll drop by sometime today to pick up the keys. I'll see you later."

She planted a quick kiss on my lips before disappearing out the door, leaving me standing alone in the middle of her apartment.

I have work too and I would be late if I didn't get a move on. The shower was brief and breakfast didn't see me and I finally arrived at the studio just in time.

"Morning guys!" I greeted cheerily, stepping into the studio where the rest of the band were listening to a playback of one of the songs we finished mixing the day before. Everyone looked up at my entrance. Matt and Ray saw the grin plastered on my face and waved. Mikey slightly frowned, but shrugged off whatever he was thinking and looked back down at his bass, plucking listlessly at the strings. Of course Gerard wouldn't just leave well enough alone and stared at me for longer than a minute, his hazel eyes careful assessing me. When they were finished and he was satisfied that my happiness was genuine, he relaxed and returned my smile. My grin widened and I walked over, plopping down next to him.

"It sounds good."

"Yes, it's really coming together real nicely," he nodded in agreement.

"How else with perfectionist Toro on our team?" I teased, looking at the puffy-haired guitarist.

"What's got you all chipper?" Ray asked amused.

Matt snorted lightly, "Do you even have to ask? The guy has a built-in energy booster."

"That he definitely does," Mikey smiled.

The day passed by uneventful, however all of us enjoyed the mixing of the tracks and hearing what they sound like afterwards.

We were taking a short break when Amy stopped by to pick up her keys.

"Hey guys! How's it going?" she greeted everyone.

"Hard, but fun work," Ray responded eagerly.

"You should hear the ones we have finished. They're awesome!" Mikey added with equal excitement in his voice.

Amy smiled brightly at them. "I'm happy to hear that. Hey, Frank can I talk to you for a second?"

I looked up from my guitar to see her waiting expectantly in the doorway. I nod, putting my guitar aside and getting up to follow her. Gerard caught my eye before I stepped out of the room and I knew he was suspicious. I still haven't told him about the relationship between me and the band's legal rep. He knows we're good friends, he's not stupid, but I don't know if he has any idea about what else we've been up to.

I still couldn't believe what's happened to me. When did I start keeping things from my best friend and lying to him? I was on a narrow, winding and bumpy path and at the rate I was going I was probably going to end up falling flat on my face, or someone might just push me into the bushes.

It sucked. I hated not being open with him and I knew he was losing patience with me. How could he not notice how distant I've been lately? When I thought about it, all this started when I started sleeping with Brittany. I in no way blamed her for it, but she undeniably played a role in the change. I just hoped that he would be patient with me a little longer. I'll tell him everything, eventually, soon.

Amy and I stepped out into the cold New Jersey air and I instinctively hunched my shoulders up against the cold and shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my black skinny jeans.

"What's up?" I asked curiously and Amy stopped walking, turning to face me.

The wind blew her hair in her face momentarily making her look like a model for some television ad. She certainly had the face for it. Her hand came up and impatiently tucked the strands behind her ear. I suddenly started to feel nervous. Something wasn't right. This wasn't her usual behavior. Yes, I get that I haven't known her quite forever, but I knew her well enough to know when she's not acting herself and right now was one of those times.

"Is something wrong?"

"Frank,"her sentence didn't stretch beyond my name. She took a deep breath and slowly, warily continued. "I've been doing some thinking. Yesterday when you came to my apartment... After I ran out this morning..." She paused again, closing her eyes for a brief second and I knew it was in order to collect her thoughts, straighten out what she wanted to say to me. By now I was extremely uneasy. Ihad a bad feeling about this.

"I thought about everything today, your break up with Brittany, your unexpected love confession to me last night, everything that's happened between us since then. Frank, I don't think we should date." That last part came out in a rushed breath and I was certain that I didn't hear her correctly.

"Sorry, what?"

"Frank, I don't think that you and I should be together in a relationship," she said again, more slowly this time.

I gaped at her. I couldn't believe my ears. Karma was being a bitch to me. However, I don't remember doing anything to deserve this. What could I possibly have done to deserve being dumped twice within twenty four hours by two different girls? /There is your reason right there. /But I didn't ask for this! I didn't choose to be in this situation. Brittany and I broke up. No big surprise there since we both knew from the very beginning that it was never going to work. As for my feelings for Amy... How the hell am I supposed to control the way I feel about someone? I've been attracted to the blonde since Ifirst laid eyes on her. Those feelings just became stronger with time. I didn't choose to love her, but I do. It's not like I cheated on my girlfriend, wait, ex-girlfriend, with her. Maybe then I would understand this, but I didn't. I've kept my end clean.

"Why not?" I asked still ashen after her shocking announcement.

"I can't be your rebound, Frank."

"You're not!" I almost yell. "Why would you think that?"

"How many times have you thought about Brittany today?"

Her question was completely unexpected and I didn't understand it. What did it matter how much I thought about the other female during the day? It was over and my thoughts have shifted to Amy. She was the one I thought about now.

"None. I didn't think about her," I admit honestly.

"Exactly!Frank, you're using me as some kind of barrier to keep you from thinking about her, but you have to think about her! Frank, you can't just forget about what happened between the two of you otherwise you'll never get over it."

"What?"I frown deeply, confused.

Maybe if Brittany and I had been serious and have dated for a very long time I would understand where she was coming from, but we weren't and we didn't and I had no idea what her argument was based on.

"You have to actually think about why you and Brittany broke up and learn from that if you have to. You can't just push it aside and forget all about it. I'm merely your distraction at this point in time."

"No, you're not," I argued firmly. "I told you how I felt about you. Can't you see that I'm happy?"

Amy shook her head, "Frank, that's not the point."

"Then what is the point?" I demanded incensed.

This wasn't fair. She couldn't just leave me without a legitimate reason. I thought we had a stronger connection than that. What happened to her supposedly loving me?

"Frank, deny it as much as you want, but you have to get over Brittany before you can be with me." After a long silence, her mouth opened again and she continued in a quiet voice, "Otherwise this will never work."

"But..."I opened and closed my mouth several times probably looking like a fish on dry land. "Amy," I said, stepping closer to the blonde and grabbing her hands. "Why don't we just give it a try?"

"Frank..."

"You don't know that this won't work. You don't know," I insisted certainly. "Come on. Just give me a chance, please."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head, pulling her hands free from mine. "I'm afraid that you'll hurt me."

Her last words surprised me and I had no idea how to respond.

"Maybe after some time," she added after a while. "I need to be sure that things between you and Brittany are over and that you're not just going to jump back into bed with each other the first chance you get."

"Do you really think that little of me?" I gasped.

"It's not that. I've seen the two of you together. I know how you operate. I don't think this is over."

"It is!"

"You had a fight, Frank!" she exclaimed upset, but I wasn't sure whether it was with me or herself or even the situation we were in. "It's what you and Brittany do!You fight. You're mad as hell at each other and you're both too damn proud to admit that you're both wrong and then by some miracle you talk and then you kiss and make up. It happens all the time. Honestly, you can't blame me for being careful."

I sighed deeply, putting my hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. Time, I'll give you time, but please go home and think about it. I really think we can make this work."

She thought about my words for about a minute and then nodded, "I will if you will."

I sighed deeply once again. She wasn't going to let this go. Now I forced to relive my breakup with the youngest way. Great. This was exactly how I thought my day would come to an end. Not. I thought at this point I would be taking my mom's car home before heading back to Amy's apartment. Surprise, surprise.

"Okay, deal," I grudgingly conceded.

Amy nodded silently.

"Tell the guys I said goodbye."

She planted a swift kiss on my cheek and turned around, walking away.

"Hey, your keys," I called after her, pulling them from my back pocket and tossing them at her. She caught them easily and offered me a small smile, "Thanks."

I sauntered back into the studio, less cheery than before and retook my previous seat. Gerard barely glanced in my direction, but I was pretty sure he knew more than I wanted him to know at this point. Fortunately he didn't say anything and I listlessly joined in with the decisions regarding the mixing of the leftover tracks.



*



I arrived home around six and completely shut off as my mom scolded me for my behavior the previous day. I wasn't in the mood for a lecture. I was a grown man and should be able to come and go as I please. I know my mother means well, but I simply did not want to listen to her admonishments right now.

I wandered aimlessly into my bedroom and fell down face first onto my bed. Idon't know how long I lay there like that, but I finally rolled onto my back when I realized I couldn't breathe. The ceiling was an uninteresting pale cream color and I closed my eyes with a sigh.

"But honestly I have to choose for myself and I need more."

"Frank, I don't think we should date."

"I'm afraid that you'll hurt me."

Fuck.What did I do? Am I such a bad person that no one wants to be with me?

Thinking about it, Amy had a point. I still believed that things between me and Brittany were over for good, but I understood her reluctance. It was only fair that Igave her some time, that I took some time myself. How did I feel about the breakup?

Brittany and I fought all the time and yet we were happy together, sort of, at least half the time, the times we weren't at each other's throats. What was different this time that we decided to split?



~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ *



It was entirely his fault. Just like the time before, he was the reason things went to shit between Brittany and me. Bastard. If I could get my hands on him. Why couldn't he just get the message and back off? If Brittany really broke up with him, if she did... No, I believed her when she said it was over. But then why the hell would she go back to him? Why insist on being his friend? Should Iconclude from her actions that she still has feelings for the football player?If she wants to be with him then so be it. I couldn't possibly care less. They were perfect for each other. I hope they're damn happy together.



~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ *



Why the hell did I have to be so damn proud? This really was all on me. If I just told Brittany how I felt... How did I feel? The point is, if I just opened my stupid mouth and told her that I didn't want to break up, things might have gone differently. It was as simple as opening your mouth and saying, "Hey, Iknow we're having another one of our huge fall outs and yes, I've said some really nasty things that I mostly didn't mean, one of the things being an urge to go back to your ex, but I swear I wasn't serious. I don't want you to go back to him."

And it wouldn't be a pride thing, because it wasn't about the fact that she would be going back to Tray. It was about her leaving me. That's not what I wanted. Yes, I was mad, furious, but that was not the outcome I had expected at all. Yet it was so easy for her to agree and turn away from me.

Did the weeks we were actually a couple mean so little to her that she could simply let it go, just like that? If only she tried a little harder I could be over there right now. She should've fought a little harder for our relationship. Yes, I blame her.



~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ *



Just get over yourself, pick up the phone and call her.

I bet I've gone through a million stages of blame in the last hour or so, blaming everyone for the breakup from Brittany to Tray to the next door neighbor. Ithink the mailman was in there somewhere too. The fact remained that it didn't matter who I blamed, nothing was going to change unless I did something to change it. I had to fix things. All I had to do was swallow my pride, pick up the phone and call her. It was as simple as that.

I kept staring at my phone not making any move to call the blonde.

Was she even thinking about it, about me? Was she home or at Tray's after all? It was most likely the latter. I wouldn't put it past her.

"Shut the fuck up, Frank and just call her!" I hissed out loud, lunging forward and grabbing my phone.

I knew the number by heart and immediately called her. The phone rang and rang and rang. I was slowly losing my confidence and just as I was about to hang up her voice cracked over the phone.

"Frank?"

Oh shit, now what? I called without thinking of what to say.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Why are you calling me?" she wanted to know and I swallowed.

I'm calling because... I want to apologize for my attitude yesterday? For the things I said? What?

"Uhm, I don't know," I admitted sheepishly.

There was a sigh and then the line went dead. I stared at my phone in irritation. Of course. She couldn't give me five seconds of her time. I wasn't even worth that much to her.

"Damn it!" I swore loudly, resisting the urge to throw my phone across the room. Iburied my face in my pillows and let out a string of profanities.

It was not long after that that there was a faint tapping sound against the window pane and at first I thought that I was hearing things, but it gradually got louder and a little more urgent. I hopped off my bed and made my way over to the window, pulling back the curtains to reveal a desperate looking Brittany clinging onto the trellis like her life depended on it. Ihurriedly lifted up the window and looked out at her in disbelief.

"Well, don't just stand there... Help me out!" Brittany panicked, looking up at me with scared eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, grabbing her hand and helping her inside. The blonde teen breathed a sigh of relief when her feet touched solid ground and silently thanked me with a nod of her head, brushing down her black hooded top and jeans.

"Well?"I demanded after shutting the window and drawing the curtains back into place.

Brittany breathed in another lung full of air and finally straightened up.

"Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?" she asked in turn, glaring at me and Istared at her taken aback.

She was the one who snuck in through my bedroom window and now she's demanding an explanation from me? Who did she think she was?

"You couldn't just apologize. No, like always your damn ego had to get in the way,"she scowled.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I gaped at her as if she wasn't from this world, because frankly I sometimes wondered.

Brittany blinked once, twice.

"You called and then you didn't say...anything."

Now it was my turn to just stare at her, blinking every now and then.

"It was beyond ridiculous so I decided to come over here and talk to you."

"You couldn't use the front door like a sane person?" I asked flatly.

"I think they call it romantic," she muttered casually, walking over to my bed and sitting down, staring back at me with her bright green eyes. Even in the faint lighting of my bedroom they seemed to shimmer. That was probably my favorite thing about her, her eyes and her fire. Boy could she explode at times, but that's not what I was referring to. No, the fire that attracted me to her was the excitement in her, her way of always going for what she wanted.

Don't think that I don't see the irony in that, because I do. I love the same thing about her that I also hate, her always getting what she wants.

"So where's my apology then?" she questioned, pulling me from my trance and Ilooked at her sheepishly.

Brittany pulled her legs up and looked at me expectantly. This was not going to be easy. She was going to make me beg and grovel, no doubt about it. I stepped towards the bed and cautiously perched myself down on the end of it.

Here goes nothing, I thought, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I was such a douche towards you."

She stayed quiet and kept her eyes locked on mine.

"I said some terrible things yesterday and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it..."

"Of course you did," she cut in, pulling one of my pillows into her lap. "Let's face it, it was all true."

I stared at her in surprise. That was unexpected, a confession from Brittany Way. That's new.

"Continue,"she urged after a while.

I sighed deeply; of course some things would never change, like how demanding she could be at times.

"Okay, to be honest, I didn't mean to push you. I didn't mean it when I said that you should go back to Tray."

Her eyebrows shot up and then she shook her head, chuckling lightly.

"Why do we do this to ourselves? Every time. We like hell, don't we, you and I?" She shook her head once more. "I know you didn't mean it. You were angry and upset and you had every right to be. I'm sorry, I should have told you about Tray, but I didn't want to make you angry which is exactly what happened. Way for it to blow up in my face."

"I would never ask you to choose, but honestly I have to choose for myself and Ineed more." Her words from the day before came back to me.

"But what about everything you said yesterday about wanting more?"

Brittany actually looked regretful at this, leaning back slightly.

"That, I meant that, but honestly, I haven't even tried. I didn't beg and grovel the first time just to let you go now," she finished, grinning at me and it was so infectious that I couldn't help grinning right back at her.

"So all is forgiven?" she said hopefully.

"You tell me," I turned her question on her.

"Well,"the blonde started with a sly grin. "I can think of one way you can make it all up to me." She put the pillow aside, getting to her knees and crawling over to me. "You're forgiven if I'm forgiven."

I instantly answered her kiss by pressing my lips back against hers. She pulled my higher up onto the bed and crawled on top of me with a wicked smile before leaning back down and reconnecting our lips.

Relief swamped my entire being. Things were back to normal. Something was itching in the back of my mind though, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't suppress it.

Amy... How did she know that this was going to happen? How would Brittany react if Itold her that I went to her after our fight the day before?

Everything was back to normal, but for how long? Maybe one more lie won't be the end of the world. Lying through omission, that's not so bad right? Brittany didn't have to know about me and Amy. Nope, she didn't have to know.

My mind being made up, I pushed all these thoughts aside and deepened the kiss. If things were going to go to shit again, I'm at least going to enjoy this moment.