Categories > Original > Humor > Romeo And Juliet Rewrites
Act II, Scene 6
(Enter Priest Beatrice, JayQuan's cousin, and a disappointed JayQuan).
JayQuan: So, we really couldn't get LeVar Burton to marry us.
(Beatrice shuffles around nervously).
Beatrice: Yeah, you can say that... But let's be happy. I'm honored to marry a couple like yourselves. Let's hope nothing bad happens to destroy it.
JayQuan: Wait...ain't you 16? How is you a Priest?
Beatrice: I got connections, yo.
JayQuan: THAT'S MY CUZ! (He hugs Beatrice.) But for realz, the love I feel for this gurl be powerful. When I look at her, I be happy. I feel like I could YOLO all day. So, no matter what, I be happy with her.
Beatrice: Whatever. Your joy can soon end. Abruptly. Possibly by death.
JayQuan: You be cray-cray.
(Ashley enters the room and embraces JayQuan).
Beatrice: Don't make me get the hose!
(Ashley quickly pulls away).
Ashley: Yo, what's up, Beatrice? Why are you a Priest? Aren't you only 16?
Beatrice: That's just how I do.
JayQuan: Yo, I can't wait til' we is married. What do you expect?
Ashley: I expect sneakers and snapbacks. And happiness and love.
(Beatrice hums the tune of "Golddigger" by Kanye West, until stopped by JayQuan).
JayQuan: That's just how we roll.
Beatrice: So, let's be getting this over with. We gotta roll quick. And I will not leave you two alone together until marriage, you sex polluted monsters.
(They all exit).
END SCENE.
(Enter Priest Beatrice, JayQuan's cousin, and a disappointed JayQuan).
JayQuan: So, we really couldn't get LeVar Burton to marry us.
(Beatrice shuffles around nervously).
Beatrice: Yeah, you can say that... But let's be happy. I'm honored to marry a couple like yourselves. Let's hope nothing bad happens to destroy it.
JayQuan: Wait...ain't you 16? How is you a Priest?
Beatrice: I got connections, yo.
JayQuan: THAT'S MY CUZ! (He hugs Beatrice.) But for realz, the love I feel for this gurl be powerful. When I look at her, I be happy. I feel like I could YOLO all day. So, no matter what, I be happy with her.
Beatrice: Whatever. Your joy can soon end. Abruptly. Possibly by death.
JayQuan: You be cray-cray.
(Ashley enters the room and embraces JayQuan).
Beatrice: Don't make me get the hose!
(Ashley quickly pulls away).
Ashley: Yo, what's up, Beatrice? Why are you a Priest? Aren't you only 16?
Beatrice: That's just how I do.
JayQuan: Yo, I can't wait til' we is married. What do you expect?
Ashley: I expect sneakers and snapbacks. And happiness and love.
(Beatrice hums the tune of "Golddigger" by Kanye West, until stopped by JayQuan).
JayQuan: That's just how we roll.
Beatrice: So, let's be getting this over with. We gotta roll quick. And I will not leave you two alone together until marriage, you sex polluted monsters.
(They all exit).
END SCENE.
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