Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Stones Of Words.
Frank’s POV
After five minutes of a heavy awkward silence, Gerard walked through the door “Hey Mikey, Bob and Ray are at the bar…hey, Bert what are you doing here?” He asked surprised, Bert who was now standing approached Gerard and snaked his toned, tattoo covered arms around his waist, Gerard placed his hands on Bert’s chest “I wasn’t going to miss your show baby, not for the world” he muttered, he then closed the gap between his and Gerard’s faces and began to quite passionately kiss him, I sighed and took that as my cue to leave, I stood up and walked out of the room muttering a soft “see you at home Gerard” as I past him on my way out, not expecting a response as his mouth was clearly too busy to talk to me, I rolled my eyes as I walked through the corridor and left through the back exit only to discover the heavens had opened and it was pouring down with rain, I stepped outside and looked up into the sky, squinting, trying to see if there was a break in the clouds, but no, a giant thick black blanket covered the sky and the rain poured heavy and strong against my skin as I began the walk home, not really caring that I didn’t have keys or a coat, or anything for that matter I just walked and let the rain soak everything and hide away the stream of tears rolling down my face, I shouldn’t let it get to me the way it has, I told myself I wouldn’t fall again, but when it seems there’s only one person in the entire world who genuinely cares about you, how can you not fall in love, he’s given me everything and I gave him my trust, now I’m here walking in the rain, heartbroken and wondering what mental institute my mom will send me to when she finds out I haven’t improved in the slightest, when in reality I have, but my world just came crumbling back down, I’m just a walking disaster, everything goes wrong for me, and I don’t think that will ever change.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets in a failed attempt to keep at least one party of my body dry and warm, but instead they just scraped against the harsh wet denim from my jeans, I continued to walk and after a few minutes I could hear the splashing of someone running down the street behind me, probably someone running for cover out of the rain and I dismissed it, that was until I realised it was getting closer toward me, I stayed calm, I’m on a street, their house is probably on this street, yeah Frank stop freaking out, it’s totally nothing. At least it was nothing until a hand grabbed my wrist and spun me around “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” I screamed tensing up every inch of my body and holding my eyes shut tightly, after a minute of silence I opened my eyes to see Gerard standing in silence and staring at me, I sighed and pulled my hand away from his grip, turned around and continued my walk “Frank, I can explain…” he started, I turned around to face him glaring “Explain what? How you lied to me, even though you swore to me you never would, you kept secrets and you let me think you actually, genuinely cared about me and you didn’t once think how the way you acted affected me did you?” I stared at him waiting for a response but it never came, so now the tears again streaming down my face and my breathing uneven I waited a little longer, in the hope he’d say something but he didn’t “Who am I supposed to trust now Gerard? You were the only person I had in the entire world. And you’ve just thrown it all away and now I’m right back to where I was before, not knowing what to do, how to cope, where to go…” I trailed off and he stared at me “’Where to go?’ what’s that supposed to mean?” he questioned, I threw my arms into the air in irritation “What the fuck do you think it means Gerard, do you know how hard it would be if I stayed here, living with you, after this? I can’t stay here, not like my mom will let me stay here when she sees the state of me tomorrow…” I trailed off; Gerard still stood staring at me in silence “You’re not even trying to defend yourself! Fuck! She’s going to send me away…” I breathed heavily, gripping my hair with one hand and my stomach with the other, starting to feel nauseated at the thought of it “send you where Frank? She said this was her last resort…” he pointed out, I turned to him “Yes, her last resort before she sends me to a fucking mad house!” I screamed, Gerard stared at me in disbelief “Frank, your mom wouldn’t do that to you…” he stated “Gerard! She had fliers and booklets and letters all over the house, she thought I never saw them, she thinks I don’t know, she thought I wouldn’t notice, but I saw the way she looked at me, like all her hope had gone, like she didn’t know who I fucking was anymore, she didn’t care about me, all she wants if for me to be out of her life, so she can live happily ever after without her ‘disturbed son’ anymore!” After I’d finished screaming at Gerard, I didn’t really know what to do, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him, to wait for a response, so I didn’t, as I had planned to ten minutes earlier, I continued my walk back to the house, the rain still pouring heavily and my world shattered.
Gerard’s POV
Words had escaped me at that moment, when he turned and walked away, I still didn’t know what to say, what to do, in all honesty I just wanted to go to the local bar and drink it all away, but then I remembered it’s not my problems I’d be drinking for, it’s his, and no amount of alcohol or drugs will take that pain away from him, and it won’t take the image of his tortured soul that’s burnt in my mind away from me, that will stay there for as long as he suffers, and I can’t live with that image in my mind, the thought of him losing all hope, knowing the kinds of things than run through his mind, the things that have happened to him, I don’t trust him enough to be on his own anymore, but it’s clear now that in Frank’s eyes I’ve blown it, ruined everything and worst of all he hates me, he’s lost all trust in me and I have nothing to say for myself…
Frank’s POV
I got back to the house and knocked on the door softly, Donna opened it smiling, but her smile faded when she saw the state of me “Frank sweetheart are you okay?” she asked stepping aside to let me into the house, I shook my head “No.” I muttered, before walking upstairs and into my room, I pulled all of my clothes out of the wardrobe and stuffed them into my suitcase, and then I sat on my bed, not bothering to change out of my soaking wet clothes, I sat and stared at the door waiting for my demons to take hold, the fear felt so real now that I could imagine them, men in white suits walking through the door and taking me away, walking me down the hall, seeing my mother’s careless eyes and Gerard not even being able to look me in mine, but I wouldn’t fight, I wouldn’t struggle, I’d go with them peacefully, because I’d have lost this fight, the fight that I’d battled so hard to win, I’d have lost and I wouldn’t care because I lost everything I cared about along the way, so really there’s nothing left to fight for…
I sat for what felt like hours in silence, thinking, and the whispers of my mind echoing louder and louder, my fears growing stronger, but then the door opened, my heart stopped for a moment, a rain drenched hand appeared on the door and the soaked mess of Gerard poked his head around it, I glanced at him briefly but quickly looked away, he came in and shut the door behind him “You didn’t let me explain…” he whispered, I glared at him, not saying a word “Bert was my boyfriend, was, we broke up two weeks before you got here, he moved out to Washington for a job and I told him I didn’t want to do long distance, I didn’t know he was coming tonight and I didn’t know he still thought we were dating, but after you left I made things perfectly clear that we were through and I know I’ve kept so many things from you and I’m sorry, I’m sorry it hurt you but if you listen to me right now, I’ll tell you everything, all my demons and my darkest fears, I’ll spill my soul to you if that means you’ll forgive me and trust me again…” I looked at him, he had genuine regret in his eyes and so I nodded in agreement, he sat on the edge of the bed opposite me, but kept his distance still, he took a deep breath and began to talk “Right, well two years ago I found out my dad died… at the funeral people were saying such nice things, and praising him and saying how he was “an amazing person” and “a loving father” and I lost my shit, I stood up in the middle of his funeral and told everyone exactly how much of a prick he was, how he’d treat me and Mikey, I showed them the scars on my stomach from his belt buckle and basically the whole family turned against me, even my grandma…and I felt so guilty, I felt awful, I felt like a disgrace for disappointing her for saying those things, it really hurt her to hear me say all that, she always used to say “he may do these things to you Gerard, but he’s still your father.” And I used to listen but that day I just couldn’t take it…and then three months later, she had a stroke and slipped into a short term coma, only two weeks, but I didn’t get the chance to say I’m sorry or to say goodbye…because I was so hung up with the band and school and exams, I had no time and I’d organised with my mom to go and visit her on the weekend, she died in hospital on the Friday…I didn’t take the news too well, I got into drugs, and alcohol, which was why Ray was offering me alcohol earlier, as of five months ago it was basically all I drank, I hid away in my room and didn’t do anything, I stopped socialising, I cut myself off from the world because I was scared they’d all hate me, or the minute I connect with someone, they’ll leave, every day, I get worried that one day mom won’t come home from work, maybe she had a car crash, maybe she just left, because I’m a disgrace, every day I wonder if Mikey is okay, I get so scared that he’ll fall into my old habits and sometimes I just want to drink it all away, but I always remember it doesn’t get rid of the thoughts, it just slows them down, momentarily, and then they come back at you twice as hard…” he paused and looked me in the eyes “I don’t know whether this makes up for anything Frank, but I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want anyone else to leave me, and I don’t think I could survive a day without having you around any more, without seeing you smile, or hearing your stupid little giggles, seeing the pain in your eyes shrink more and more every day, and having that light behind your eyes, that you had when we were kids, because it’s still there, I’m just waiting for that guy to come home and take away the broken person who you are now…” he finished smiling at me weakly with tears in his eyes, I stood from the bed and knelt in front of him on the floor “that makes up for everything.” I whispered, I placed my hand on the right side of his slightly damp face and brought his face to mine “it makes up for everything.” I muttered again before I pressed my lips onto his, I felt him tense up briefly but then his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer, I jumped up so I was sitting on his lap, our lips never once disconnecting I mumbled an “I’m sorry” into his lips but he simply responded with a mumbled “shut up.” I smiled into the kiss and he pulled away “What?” I asked, he shook his head “I wanted to see your smile.” I felt my face heat up but a grin spread across my cheeks, Gerard smirked and placed his lips back onto mine. Never once in my life has a moment felt so perfect and so right, not once have I ever felt so cared for and to think, half an hour ago, I was willing to cast his existence out of my life, but then he did sell me his soul and that’s something I’m never going to let go of now…ever.
AN- sorry if there are any errors, I will read through it again but I was excited to get it up so yeah haha, hope you enjoyed rates and reviews would be lovely -BLBH
(Chapter title from the song Sold My Soul by The Used)
After five minutes of a heavy awkward silence, Gerard walked through the door “Hey Mikey, Bob and Ray are at the bar…hey, Bert what are you doing here?” He asked surprised, Bert who was now standing approached Gerard and snaked his toned, tattoo covered arms around his waist, Gerard placed his hands on Bert’s chest “I wasn’t going to miss your show baby, not for the world” he muttered, he then closed the gap between his and Gerard’s faces and began to quite passionately kiss him, I sighed and took that as my cue to leave, I stood up and walked out of the room muttering a soft “see you at home Gerard” as I past him on my way out, not expecting a response as his mouth was clearly too busy to talk to me, I rolled my eyes as I walked through the corridor and left through the back exit only to discover the heavens had opened and it was pouring down with rain, I stepped outside and looked up into the sky, squinting, trying to see if there was a break in the clouds, but no, a giant thick black blanket covered the sky and the rain poured heavy and strong against my skin as I began the walk home, not really caring that I didn’t have keys or a coat, or anything for that matter I just walked and let the rain soak everything and hide away the stream of tears rolling down my face, I shouldn’t let it get to me the way it has, I told myself I wouldn’t fall again, but when it seems there’s only one person in the entire world who genuinely cares about you, how can you not fall in love, he’s given me everything and I gave him my trust, now I’m here walking in the rain, heartbroken and wondering what mental institute my mom will send me to when she finds out I haven’t improved in the slightest, when in reality I have, but my world just came crumbling back down, I’m just a walking disaster, everything goes wrong for me, and I don’t think that will ever change.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets in a failed attempt to keep at least one party of my body dry and warm, but instead they just scraped against the harsh wet denim from my jeans, I continued to walk and after a few minutes I could hear the splashing of someone running down the street behind me, probably someone running for cover out of the rain and I dismissed it, that was until I realised it was getting closer toward me, I stayed calm, I’m on a street, their house is probably on this street, yeah Frank stop freaking out, it’s totally nothing. At least it was nothing until a hand grabbed my wrist and spun me around “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” I screamed tensing up every inch of my body and holding my eyes shut tightly, after a minute of silence I opened my eyes to see Gerard standing in silence and staring at me, I sighed and pulled my hand away from his grip, turned around and continued my walk “Frank, I can explain…” he started, I turned around to face him glaring “Explain what? How you lied to me, even though you swore to me you never would, you kept secrets and you let me think you actually, genuinely cared about me and you didn’t once think how the way you acted affected me did you?” I stared at him waiting for a response but it never came, so now the tears again streaming down my face and my breathing uneven I waited a little longer, in the hope he’d say something but he didn’t “Who am I supposed to trust now Gerard? You were the only person I had in the entire world. And you’ve just thrown it all away and now I’m right back to where I was before, not knowing what to do, how to cope, where to go…” I trailed off and he stared at me “’Where to go?’ what’s that supposed to mean?” he questioned, I threw my arms into the air in irritation “What the fuck do you think it means Gerard, do you know how hard it would be if I stayed here, living with you, after this? I can’t stay here, not like my mom will let me stay here when she sees the state of me tomorrow…” I trailed off; Gerard still stood staring at me in silence “You’re not even trying to defend yourself! Fuck! She’s going to send me away…” I breathed heavily, gripping my hair with one hand and my stomach with the other, starting to feel nauseated at the thought of it “send you where Frank? She said this was her last resort…” he pointed out, I turned to him “Yes, her last resort before she sends me to a fucking mad house!” I screamed, Gerard stared at me in disbelief “Frank, your mom wouldn’t do that to you…” he stated “Gerard! She had fliers and booklets and letters all over the house, she thought I never saw them, she thinks I don’t know, she thought I wouldn’t notice, but I saw the way she looked at me, like all her hope had gone, like she didn’t know who I fucking was anymore, she didn’t care about me, all she wants if for me to be out of her life, so she can live happily ever after without her ‘disturbed son’ anymore!” After I’d finished screaming at Gerard, I didn’t really know what to do, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him, to wait for a response, so I didn’t, as I had planned to ten minutes earlier, I continued my walk back to the house, the rain still pouring heavily and my world shattered.
Gerard’s POV
Words had escaped me at that moment, when he turned and walked away, I still didn’t know what to say, what to do, in all honesty I just wanted to go to the local bar and drink it all away, but then I remembered it’s not my problems I’d be drinking for, it’s his, and no amount of alcohol or drugs will take that pain away from him, and it won’t take the image of his tortured soul that’s burnt in my mind away from me, that will stay there for as long as he suffers, and I can’t live with that image in my mind, the thought of him losing all hope, knowing the kinds of things than run through his mind, the things that have happened to him, I don’t trust him enough to be on his own anymore, but it’s clear now that in Frank’s eyes I’ve blown it, ruined everything and worst of all he hates me, he’s lost all trust in me and I have nothing to say for myself…
Frank’s POV
I got back to the house and knocked on the door softly, Donna opened it smiling, but her smile faded when she saw the state of me “Frank sweetheart are you okay?” she asked stepping aside to let me into the house, I shook my head “No.” I muttered, before walking upstairs and into my room, I pulled all of my clothes out of the wardrobe and stuffed them into my suitcase, and then I sat on my bed, not bothering to change out of my soaking wet clothes, I sat and stared at the door waiting for my demons to take hold, the fear felt so real now that I could imagine them, men in white suits walking through the door and taking me away, walking me down the hall, seeing my mother’s careless eyes and Gerard not even being able to look me in mine, but I wouldn’t fight, I wouldn’t struggle, I’d go with them peacefully, because I’d have lost this fight, the fight that I’d battled so hard to win, I’d have lost and I wouldn’t care because I lost everything I cared about along the way, so really there’s nothing left to fight for…
I sat for what felt like hours in silence, thinking, and the whispers of my mind echoing louder and louder, my fears growing stronger, but then the door opened, my heart stopped for a moment, a rain drenched hand appeared on the door and the soaked mess of Gerard poked his head around it, I glanced at him briefly but quickly looked away, he came in and shut the door behind him “You didn’t let me explain…” he whispered, I glared at him, not saying a word “Bert was my boyfriend, was, we broke up two weeks before you got here, he moved out to Washington for a job and I told him I didn’t want to do long distance, I didn’t know he was coming tonight and I didn’t know he still thought we were dating, but after you left I made things perfectly clear that we were through and I know I’ve kept so many things from you and I’m sorry, I’m sorry it hurt you but if you listen to me right now, I’ll tell you everything, all my demons and my darkest fears, I’ll spill my soul to you if that means you’ll forgive me and trust me again…” I looked at him, he had genuine regret in his eyes and so I nodded in agreement, he sat on the edge of the bed opposite me, but kept his distance still, he took a deep breath and began to talk “Right, well two years ago I found out my dad died… at the funeral people were saying such nice things, and praising him and saying how he was “an amazing person” and “a loving father” and I lost my shit, I stood up in the middle of his funeral and told everyone exactly how much of a prick he was, how he’d treat me and Mikey, I showed them the scars on my stomach from his belt buckle and basically the whole family turned against me, even my grandma…and I felt so guilty, I felt awful, I felt like a disgrace for disappointing her for saying those things, it really hurt her to hear me say all that, she always used to say “he may do these things to you Gerard, but he’s still your father.” And I used to listen but that day I just couldn’t take it…and then three months later, she had a stroke and slipped into a short term coma, only two weeks, but I didn’t get the chance to say I’m sorry or to say goodbye…because I was so hung up with the band and school and exams, I had no time and I’d organised with my mom to go and visit her on the weekend, she died in hospital on the Friday…I didn’t take the news too well, I got into drugs, and alcohol, which was why Ray was offering me alcohol earlier, as of five months ago it was basically all I drank, I hid away in my room and didn’t do anything, I stopped socialising, I cut myself off from the world because I was scared they’d all hate me, or the minute I connect with someone, they’ll leave, every day, I get worried that one day mom won’t come home from work, maybe she had a car crash, maybe she just left, because I’m a disgrace, every day I wonder if Mikey is okay, I get so scared that he’ll fall into my old habits and sometimes I just want to drink it all away, but I always remember it doesn’t get rid of the thoughts, it just slows them down, momentarily, and then they come back at you twice as hard…” he paused and looked me in the eyes “I don’t know whether this makes up for anything Frank, but I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want anyone else to leave me, and I don’t think I could survive a day without having you around any more, without seeing you smile, or hearing your stupid little giggles, seeing the pain in your eyes shrink more and more every day, and having that light behind your eyes, that you had when we were kids, because it’s still there, I’m just waiting for that guy to come home and take away the broken person who you are now…” he finished smiling at me weakly with tears in his eyes, I stood from the bed and knelt in front of him on the floor “that makes up for everything.” I whispered, I placed my hand on the right side of his slightly damp face and brought his face to mine “it makes up for everything.” I muttered again before I pressed my lips onto his, I felt him tense up briefly but then his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer, I jumped up so I was sitting on his lap, our lips never once disconnecting I mumbled an “I’m sorry” into his lips but he simply responded with a mumbled “shut up.” I smiled into the kiss and he pulled away “What?” I asked, he shook his head “I wanted to see your smile.” I felt my face heat up but a grin spread across my cheeks, Gerard smirked and placed his lips back onto mine. Never once in my life has a moment felt so perfect and so right, not once have I ever felt so cared for and to think, half an hour ago, I was willing to cast his existence out of my life, but then he did sell me his soul and that’s something I’m never going to let go of now…ever.
AN- sorry if there are any errors, I will read through it again but I was excited to get it up so yeah haha, hope you enjoyed rates and reviews would be lovely -BLBH
(Chapter title from the song Sold My Soul by The Used)
Sign up to rate and review this story