Categories > Original > Romance > This Blood Evacuation Is Telling Me To Cave In
Chapter One.
6 reviewsSadie is sent to Safe Haven, the mental hospital, and meets Mia and Missy, her new roommates.
1Cliche
Chapter One.
I gritted my teeth and slid the sharp piece of clear, translucent glass across my forearm, wincing in pain as I saw the white line show. This wasn't enough, so I repeated the action, until I got what I was wanting. Blood dripped out my arm and onto my bedroom floor. I smiled to myself, looking at the blood that coated the glass, then I did the same on my other arm. Why was I doing this, you ask? Well, I always got these thoughts, and my mind taunted me. It was used to pain, and it hungered for it. Only my Mum knew of what I was doing, but she was getting sick of it. She always nagged me about it, saying she had enough stress with mortgage and shit, and she doesn't want a self harming daughter on her worries too.
Although, she never really asked why I was doing this to myself. She usually assumed it was all over a boy, and that is the real sympathy she gave to me, is if I was upset over a boy. Every time, she'd say to me, boys are all the same. She says they are mean and only leave when the girl gets bored, and doesn't give him enough action in their life. She then goes on and on about that's what happened between her and my Dad, how he'd left because she wasn't 'treating' him enough with her body, so just up-ed and left. She thought it was mean, but, Dad told me the real reason he left, was because he was offered a new job, out of the country. Mum still thought the real reason he left was mean too, and kept saying he could have at least taken us, or let us visit.
But, enough about my past. I was just adding the final cut for the night, to my collection of scratches and burns that developed over the past seven years, since I started this when I was ten years old, when I heard footsteps thud up the stairs. I froze in my place, hoping it was just my brother heading back to his room or something, but then I heard a small tap at the door, and it opened to my Mum. She saw the position I was in, from the glass, to the bleeding arms, and knew exactly what happened. She entered my room, closing the door behind her, and sat down beside me. She took the glass from my hand with her thumb and first finger, and moved it out the way, before turning back to me and taking both my bleeding arms, studying them carefully.
"Why?" She asked, looking up into my broken face.
"You know why." I say, voice broken from sobbing, and my throat burned from the screaming.
"A boy?" She assumed, as always. "Remember what I told you about boys?"
"Yeah, they're all the same." I tell her, telling her exactly what she has said for the past seven years. "Mean, and only leave when the girl gets bored, or doesn't give him enough excitement."
"Exactly." She said, standing up and walking from the room, soon returning with bandages and disinfectant. She sat back on the floor, the various chemicals and applicants spread out on the floor. First, she gathered the dissinfectant and cotton ball. She dabbed it on, and applied it to my cuts, making them burn. I seethed, feeling the burn of the chemical on my stinging arm. Mum stopped the dabbing, apologising, before repeating the action. I braved through the first bit, knowing the pain of that was much worse than cutting and burning my own, fragile body. Soon, my arms were bandaged. Mum stood up, and sighed.
"I've called the mental hospital again, and I've got you a place there. I'm taking you now, so start packing."
"What?" I rose to my feet, trying to grasp exactly what my Mum was saying. "A mental hospital?"
"Yes, mental hospital." Mum said. She then left my room, without saying anything else. I sighed, looking at my newly bandaged cuts, then walked over to my closet, getting out my suitcase. I opened it up and flung it on the bed. I then walked back over to my closet and got out all my clothes. I sifted through them all, putting them into two piles, clothes I'm going to take, and clothes to keep here. I decided I was mostly going to take skinny jeans, band t-shirts, shirts with skulls on them, and anything with the colour black or dark red, as those were the colours I liked the most, black like my own soul, and red for the blood pouring from it. I carefully folded my clothes, placing them into the black suitcase, then moved over to my box of trinkets and other things. I opened the box, and sorted that into the same two piles. I decided on taking my sketchpad and pencils, as well as my drawings. My drawings ranged from drawings of Vampires or Monsters, to love hearts, coloured black. I was also going to take my ornament teddy bear my Dad got me for my sixth birthday, to remember him I guess. I placed those items into the suitcase, grabbed my iPod off the dock and my eyeliner and beanie, and left my room, switching off the light.
**
The car ride to San Francisco's 'finest' mental hospital was long, but I wasn't really that bored. I had my iPod on full, blasting the Smashing Pumpkins song Tarantula. Mum looked over to me as she drove, and asked me the exact same question as before.
"Why?"
I turned down the volume of the music, and looked over to her, before telling her exactly why I have been self harming for the past seven years of my life.
"Why? I did this to myself, because I was told to."
"By who?"
"Them." I say, through gritted teeth.
"Who's 'Them'?" Mum asked.
"The little voices in my brain, telling me, taunting me, into cutting and burning and I can't do anything to stop it. The anti-depressants don't work, as the voices come back stronger, the only time they stop with the taunts is when I.."
"Cut." Mum soon understood. "See, this is why I decided to take you here. To the mental hospital."
"Because you think I'm crazy. I get it." I roll my eyes, and turn the volume back up on my music, and watched as we rolled into the mental hospital's driveway. The building wasn't exactly new-build, it looked like it had been here for a few years or so. It didn't look like one of those scary-movie manison type things, it just looked old, and large.
"We're here." Mum says, and we get out the car, and I get a proper look at the place, and wrinkle up my nose in disgust. I follow Mum into the place, and it looked much better on the inside, more modern. We were greeted at the desk by a woman, she looked in her late 30s or so. She had one of those fake smiles on her face, the innocent ones, that would probably soon fade when Mum turned her back.
"Hi, welcome to San Fransisco's finest Mental Hospital, Safe Haven." I began to soon hate that word. Finest. "I'm Dr. Masterson, the main therapist."
"Hi, we spoke over the phone, Ms. Masterson." Mum greets politely.
"Oh, yes. Mrs. Hobbs, right?"
"That's correct." Mum smiled, then rested a hand on my back, between my shoulder bones. "And, this is my daughter, Sadie."
"Oh yes." Masterson, as I took to calling her now, smiled. Her hazel eyes rested on my face, then onto my bandages. "Well, Safe Haven will be happy to have her. For how long would you like her here?"
"However long it takes for her to snap back into reality." Mum said, ruffling my brown hair playfully. I just stared straight ahead, the grips on my case getting tighter and tighter.
"Well, we'll soon get her back to normal." Masterson did another fake smile, with a sideways glance at me.
"Don't count on it.." I mumbled to myself.
"Sadie, you'll be rooming with Mia. Mia Cassern." She told me, and in skipped a girl, same age as me it looked, with brown hair, tanned skin and chocolate brown eyes. She hummed a tune to herself, and when she saw me her face lit up like a christmas tree.
"Hi! I'm Mia. You can call me Kitty, all my friends here do. What's your name?" She mused, all bubbly and friendly.
"Sadie.." I trail off, nervous and just wanting to run away from this place.
"Sadie! That's a cool name!" She giggled, then she gasped and pointed to my arms. "What happened to you?"
"I.. self harm." I confess, I'm sure everyone here would soon know anyway, I saw on the board of events that there were group therapy sessions, and I had my thoughts on what they were. "And, that's why I'm here."
"Oh." Mia's face dropped from a smile, but soon brightened up again. "But, I hope you're okay now!"
"I soon will be.." I mumble.
"Mia, why don't you take Sadie to your room and help her get ready for bed." Masterson suggested, and Mia took my hand and lead me down the hall, as Masterson and Mum began talking. As Mia practically dragged me down the hall, I got a look at a few of the rooms. They had a canteen and bathroom, and they had a door leading outside. Mia stopped at a door, with a number 701 on the top of the door, and opened it. She lead me inside, and flicked on the light so I got a better view.
The walls of the room were a deep shade of red, with a black carpet. There were three beds in the room, all set up with black bed covers. Mia lead me over to my bed, which was in the far corner, and helped me to unpack. She helped me put up my drawings and commented well on each of them.
"You'd be cool friends with this guy, Gerard. He's a drawer too." She smiled, and in walked a girl with blue dip-dyed hair.
"Missy!" She giggled, making me jump. "This is Sadie, our new room mate."
"Hi." Missy smiled a tiny smile, before turning her attention back to Mia. "Kitty, Frankie wanted to know if you're still going to the Disco with him next week."
"Of course I am!" Mia blushed.
"Who's Frankie?" I ask.
"Kitty's boyfriend." Missy said.
"You're going with Gabe, right Missy?" Mia asked, clearly not grasping the fact I was confused as fuck about everyone, and everything, that was going on.
"Yes!" Missy rolled her eyes. "He's my boyfriend, duh."
Missy then noticed my confusion.
"What's up?" She plonked herself on my bed, which me and Mia were sat on.
"Disco?" I try and wrap my brain around things. "What's that?"
"Well, every month, we have an annual disco. Where girls and guys are allowed to mingle and have fun." Mia explains. "It's really fun, and a great way to make friends."
"So, you're not allowed to mingle with guys before or after the disco?"
"Nope." Missy says. "This place is seriously strict on abstinence. We're allowed boyfriends, just not.."
"Sex." I knew what she meant.
"Yeah, pretty much." Missy nods. "You'll meet the guys tomorrow, we have group therapy then."
"Cool." I say, un-enthusiasticaly.
"Guys, we should get to bed." Mia points towards the clock in the room, which was telling us it was nearly 10pm. "Lights out in five minutes."
The girls then got off my bed, and we all dressed for bed. I wore a pair of black tracksuit bottoms with a black vest, Mia wore kitty pyjama bottoms and a oversized cat top, with Missy just in a small, black nightgown. We all said our goodnights to eachother, then slid into bed, and I looked out the window over the door and watched as the hall's light flicked off, before setting off to sleep.
Chapter one - complete.
I'm basing this off of A Splitting Of The Mind. I threw a reference in there too! Did ya spot it?
Anywho, this is my second PTV fic. Mia helped me plan it out, helping with the summary and giving some ideas to me. Becca auditioned her OC, and Mia is in here too. I hope you liked the start of this, and I can't wait to give you an update, which will be tomorrow morning.
Stay tuned! Rate and Review! xoxo Sadie
I gritted my teeth and slid the sharp piece of clear, translucent glass across my forearm, wincing in pain as I saw the white line show. This wasn't enough, so I repeated the action, until I got what I was wanting. Blood dripped out my arm and onto my bedroom floor. I smiled to myself, looking at the blood that coated the glass, then I did the same on my other arm. Why was I doing this, you ask? Well, I always got these thoughts, and my mind taunted me. It was used to pain, and it hungered for it. Only my Mum knew of what I was doing, but she was getting sick of it. She always nagged me about it, saying she had enough stress with mortgage and shit, and she doesn't want a self harming daughter on her worries too.
Although, she never really asked why I was doing this to myself. She usually assumed it was all over a boy, and that is the real sympathy she gave to me, is if I was upset over a boy. Every time, she'd say to me, boys are all the same. She says they are mean and only leave when the girl gets bored, and doesn't give him enough action in their life. She then goes on and on about that's what happened between her and my Dad, how he'd left because she wasn't 'treating' him enough with her body, so just up-ed and left. She thought it was mean, but, Dad told me the real reason he left, was because he was offered a new job, out of the country. Mum still thought the real reason he left was mean too, and kept saying he could have at least taken us, or let us visit.
But, enough about my past. I was just adding the final cut for the night, to my collection of scratches and burns that developed over the past seven years, since I started this when I was ten years old, when I heard footsteps thud up the stairs. I froze in my place, hoping it was just my brother heading back to his room or something, but then I heard a small tap at the door, and it opened to my Mum. She saw the position I was in, from the glass, to the bleeding arms, and knew exactly what happened. She entered my room, closing the door behind her, and sat down beside me. She took the glass from my hand with her thumb and first finger, and moved it out the way, before turning back to me and taking both my bleeding arms, studying them carefully.
"Why?" She asked, looking up into my broken face.
"You know why." I say, voice broken from sobbing, and my throat burned from the screaming.
"A boy?" She assumed, as always. "Remember what I told you about boys?"
"Yeah, they're all the same." I tell her, telling her exactly what she has said for the past seven years. "Mean, and only leave when the girl gets bored, or doesn't give him enough excitement."
"Exactly." She said, standing up and walking from the room, soon returning with bandages and disinfectant. She sat back on the floor, the various chemicals and applicants spread out on the floor. First, she gathered the dissinfectant and cotton ball. She dabbed it on, and applied it to my cuts, making them burn. I seethed, feeling the burn of the chemical on my stinging arm. Mum stopped the dabbing, apologising, before repeating the action. I braved through the first bit, knowing the pain of that was much worse than cutting and burning my own, fragile body. Soon, my arms were bandaged. Mum stood up, and sighed.
"I've called the mental hospital again, and I've got you a place there. I'm taking you now, so start packing."
"What?" I rose to my feet, trying to grasp exactly what my Mum was saying. "A mental hospital?"
"Yes, mental hospital." Mum said. She then left my room, without saying anything else. I sighed, looking at my newly bandaged cuts, then walked over to my closet, getting out my suitcase. I opened it up and flung it on the bed. I then walked back over to my closet and got out all my clothes. I sifted through them all, putting them into two piles, clothes I'm going to take, and clothes to keep here. I decided I was mostly going to take skinny jeans, band t-shirts, shirts with skulls on them, and anything with the colour black or dark red, as those were the colours I liked the most, black like my own soul, and red for the blood pouring from it. I carefully folded my clothes, placing them into the black suitcase, then moved over to my box of trinkets and other things. I opened the box, and sorted that into the same two piles. I decided on taking my sketchpad and pencils, as well as my drawings. My drawings ranged from drawings of Vampires or Monsters, to love hearts, coloured black. I was also going to take my ornament teddy bear my Dad got me for my sixth birthday, to remember him I guess. I placed those items into the suitcase, grabbed my iPod off the dock and my eyeliner and beanie, and left my room, switching off the light.
**
The car ride to San Francisco's 'finest' mental hospital was long, but I wasn't really that bored. I had my iPod on full, blasting the Smashing Pumpkins song Tarantula. Mum looked over to me as she drove, and asked me the exact same question as before.
"Why?"
I turned down the volume of the music, and looked over to her, before telling her exactly why I have been self harming for the past seven years of my life.
"Why? I did this to myself, because I was told to."
"By who?"
"Them." I say, through gritted teeth.
"Who's 'Them'?" Mum asked.
"The little voices in my brain, telling me, taunting me, into cutting and burning and I can't do anything to stop it. The anti-depressants don't work, as the voices come back stronger, the only time they stop with the taunts is when I.."
"Cut." Mum soon understood. "See, this is why I decided to take you here. To the mental hospital."
"Because you think I'm crazy. I get it." I roll my eyes, and turn the volume back up on my music, and watched as we rolled into the mental hospital's driveway. The building wasn't exactly new-build, it looked like it had been here for a few years or so. It didn't look like one of those scary-movie manison type things, it just looked old, and large.
"We're here." Mum says, and we get out the car, and I get a proper look at the place, and wrinkle up my nose in disgust. I follow Mum into the place, and it looked much better on the inside, more modern. We were greeted at the desk by a woman, she looked in her late 30s or so. She had one of those fake smiles on her face, the innocent ones, that would probably soon fade when Mum turned her back.
"Hi, welcome to San Fransisco's finest Mental Hospital, Safe Haven." I began to soon hate that word. Finest. "I'm Dr. Masterson, the main therapist."
"Hi, we spoke over the phone, Ms. Masterson." Mum greets politely.
"Oh, yes. Mrs. Hobbs, right?"
"That's correct." Mum smiled, then rested a hand on my back, between my shoulder bones. "And, this is my daughter, Sadie."
"Oh yes." Masterson, as I took to calling her now, smiled. Her hazel eyes rested on my face, then onto my bandages. "Well, Safe Haven will be happy to have her. For how long would you like her here?"
"However long it takes for her to snap back into reality." Mum said, ruffling my brown hair playfully. I just stared straight ahead, the grips on my case getting tighter and tighter.
"Well, we'll soon get her back to normal." Masterson did another fake smile, with a sideways glance at me.
"Don't count on it.." I mumbled to myself.
"Sadie, you'll be rooming with Mia. Mia Cassern." She told me, and in skipped a girl, same age as me it looked, with brown hair, tanned skin and chocolate brown eyes. She hummed a tune to herself, and when she saw me her face lit up like a christmas tree.
"Hi! I'm Mia. You can call me Kitty, all my friends here do. What's your name?" She mused, all bubbly and friendly.
"Sadie.." I trail off, nervous and just wanting to run away from this place.
"Sadie! That's a cool name!" She giggled, then she gasped and pointed to my arms. "What happened to you?"
"I.. self harm." I confess, I'm sure everyone here would soon know anyway, I saw on the board of events that there were group therapy sessions, and I had my thoughts on what they were. "And, that's why I'm here."
"Oh." Mia's face dropped from a smile, but soon brightened up again. "But, I hope you're okay now!"
"I soon will be.." I mumble.
"Mia, why don't you take Sadie to your room and help her get ready for bed." Masterson suggested, and Mia took my hand and lead me down the hall, as Masterson and Mum began talking. As Mia practically dragged me down the hall, I got a look at a few of the rooms. They had a canteen and bathroom, and they had a door leading outside. Mia stopped at a door, with a number 701 on the top of the door, and opened it. She lead me inside, and flicked on the light so I got a better view.
The walls of the room were a deep shade of red, with a black carpet. There were three beds in the room, all set up with black bed covers. Mia lead me over to my bed, which was in the far corner, and helped me to unpack. She helped me put up my drawings and commented well on each of them.
"You'd be cool friends with this guy, Gerard. He's a drawer too." She smiled, and in walked a girl with blue dip-dyed hair.
"Missy!" She giggled, making me jump. "This is Sadie, our new room mate."
"Hi." Missy smiled a tiny smile, before turning her attention back to Mia. "Kitty, Frankie wanted to know if you're still going to the Disco with him next week."
"Of course I am!" Mia blushed.
"Who's Frankie?" I ask.
"Kitty's boyfriend." Missy said.
"You're going with Gabe, right Missy?" Mia asked, clearly not grasping the fact I was confused as fuck about everyone, and everything, that was going on.
"Yes!" Missy rolled her eyes. "He's my boyfriend, duh."
Missy then noticed my confusion.
"What's up?" She plonked herself on my bed, which me and Mia were sat on.
"Disco?" I try and wrap my brain around things. "What's that?"
"Well, every month, we have an annual disco. Where girls and guys are allowed to mingle and have fun." Mia explains. "It's really fun, and a great way to make friends."
"So, you're not allowed to mingle with guys before or after the disco?"
"Nope." Missy says. "This place is seriously strict on abstinence. We're allowed boyfriends, just not.."
"Sex." I knew what she meant.
"Yeah, pretty much." Missy nods. "You'll meet the guys tomorrow, we have group therapy then."
"Cool." I say, un-enthusiasticaly.
"Guys, we should get to bed." Mia points towards the clock in the room, which was telling us it was nearly 10pm. "Lights out in five minutes."
The girls then got off my bed, and we all dressed for bed. I wore a pair of black tracksuit bottoms with a black vest, Mia wore kitty pyjama bottoms and a oversized cat top, with Missy just in a small, black nightgown. We all said our goodnights to eachother, then slid into bed, and I looked out the window over the door and watched as the hall's light flicked off, before setting off to sleep.
Chapter one - complete.
I'm basing this off of A Splitting Of The Mind. I threw a reference in there too! Did ya spot it?
Anywho, this is my second PTV fic. Mia helped me plan it out, helping with the summary and giving some ideas to me. Becca auditioned her OC, and Mia is in here too. I hope you liked the start of this, and I can't wait to give you an update, which will be tomorrow morning.
Stay tuned! Rate and Review! xoxo Sadie
Sign up to rate and review this story