FicWad

-I know you didn’t mean it, I know you didn’t mean it.-



**



(Ryan)



I smoothed out the tux I’d picked up at the last minute. It fit snugly, and looked appropriate enough.

There was a large crowd already gathered, and more and more people seemed to show up with each passing moment. Evidently, this guy had a lot of friends.

Juliet hadn’t noticed me yet, and I’d lost track of her.

Someone stopped me, and sniffled. She didn’t look all that broken up. “Hi, did you know David personally?” She asked.

David? Must be the dead guy. I stole a glance at the pamphlet. Yeah, David. Music played lightly in the background, but it was lost behind the chatter. “I didn’t know him as well as I would’ve liked.” I responded, deciding against outright lying.

“You look quite young.” She giggled. I gagged on the inside. She had fake eyelashes that were barely hanging on. “What business are you in?” Was she feeling me out, for information?

“I’m a musician.” I answered, confidently.

She batted those horrible eyelashes, and I realized what she was doing. She wanted to know if I was worth the time before she started flirting. Smart, and classless. “My husband loved music.” She faked a frown, but it didn’t last long.

She was his wife? For fuck’s sake. She wasn’t even waiting for him to be buried before she started moving on to new targets.

I immediately knew what kind of woman she was.

It wasn’t a surprise. Most women were gold diggers, but the least she could do was try and hide it.

“Who doesn’t love music?” I looked around, beyond her, searching for Juliet. I thought I’d caught a glimpse of her earlier, but I wasn’t sure.

She giggled again, as if I’d said something funny. I wasn’t aware of any joke that we were sharing, and so I just stared at her. “I certainly do.” She let her hand fall upon my arm, and it lingered there.

I watched her, forcing a blank stare on to my face. It made her nervous, obviously. “So, are you Juliet’s mother?”

Juliet hadn’t talked about her mom at all, just her dad… and she didn’t talk about him much. I was assuming, since she said he was dead, that this was his funeral. It made the most sense.

The woman looked insulted for a moment, but quickly covered it. “No, no. Juliet was from David’s first marriage.”

Step-mom.

“And his first wife, is she dead?” I was curious, and not willing to really hide it.

Her features wrinkled in distaste. “Yes, she died before David married me.”

“Oh, Joy!” Someone interrupted us, and I found it kind of funny that the woman’s name was Joy. She didn’t seem to live up to her name, from what little I knew of her. “I’m so sorry about David… such tragedy.” The two women hugged and I took the chance to escape, as I glanced around at each face. Some seemed apathetic, others were actually crying.

I nearly walked past her, since she wasn’t wearing her customary sweats. She was wearing a black dress, which totally screamed ‘funeral’- though I guess in this situation that did fit. Her hair was smoothed out, flowing past her shoulders. She was wearing mascara, and she shouldn’t have. It was running down her cheeks, as she’d already started crying.

She stood, a few steps away from all of the chairs that had been set up. She was staring at the ground, and all of the headstones. The setting was obviously having an impact on her, along with the situation.

She wasn’t alone.

I paused, watching the boy beside her whisper something else in to her ear. A boyfriend, perhaps?

He was well dressed, and attractive enough. More attractive than I’d expect out of her. She seemed like the bleeding heart type, that would date anyone with a pulse and some type of positive view on the world.

One of those girls that said, ‘looks don’t matter’ even though they did.

That’s how hot girls ended up with ugly guys.

He brushed hair away from her neck, and leaned close again. This time she closed her eyes, and fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

He smiled.

I found the exchange to be strange, but we were at a funeral… emotions were running high, and things were bound to get weird.

I took a few steps forward, careful not to appear eager. “Juliet.” I said her name, gaining her attention.

Her gaze landed on me, and her lips parted in surprise. “Ryan?”

“Thought you guys would be in a church.” I admitted, glancing around.

Juliet’s eyes stayed glued to me however, and I could feel them burning through me. “My step-mother would burn.”

I was surprised by the little joke, and I immediately looked at her, catching her gaze. She looked down, but a tiny smile tugged at her lips.

The boy behind her rolled his eyes. “Real mature, Jul. You’re hurting, and so you’re lashing out at Mom.”

“She’s your mother, not mine.” Juliet snapped. I was surprised by the anger. I didn’t know Juliet well, but I knew enough about her to know that she wasn’t an angry person… and she wasn’t a rude person.

And he was her step-brother? I had been way off on my guess.

“She’s all you have.” The boy harshly whispered, though loudly enough for me to hear. “Well, her… and me. We are all you have. Get that through your thick skull.”

“That’s just not true.” I acted insulted, as I sized the boy up. I had decided that I didn’t like him.

Juliet looked at me, and I could see the conveyed warning clearly, but I didn’t really care. He was just a punk, nothing else.

I held out my hand, and through Juliet’s confusion she managed to catch on and place her hand in mine. “She’s got me.” I told the boy, and it came out as a challenge… one he wisely let go, as he turned from us. “So, is there arranged seating at funerals?” I asked, cluelessly.

Juliet took a step towards me, closing off whatever distance we had managed. I still held her hand, unsure of what exactly I was doing with it. It seemed right to do. It had ticked off her step-brother, and that made me happy. “What are you doing here, Ryan?” She whispered the question, as she gazed at me intently. The crying had stopped… for now.

“You told me about it on the plane.” I informed her, as if it was obvious why I was here.

“That wasn’t an invitation.” Juliet replied. “You didn’t even know my father.”

I held the pamphlet up with my free hand. “He liked spicy food. I know that, and that’s something… and since I know something about him, I’m completely entitled to mourn him with everyone else.”

Juliet shook her head, annoyed. “This isn’t a joke. This is a funeral. You can’t just stride in, and make it some big show.”

“Do you see any cameras?” I responded.

Juliet sighed heavily, and seemed to take notice that we were holding hands. She let go, and so I did as well. “Seriously Ryan, why are you here?”

“I thought you might need me.” I replied.

Juliet stared at me for several seconds, but all I did was stare back.

“There is no assigned seating.” Juliet finally broke the silence. “Family generally sits up front, kind of like at weddings.”

“Weddings have seating arrangements.” I replied.

“Yes, well, this isn’t a wedding.” Juliet answered. “I’m sitting here.” She brought me to the end of the front aisle, and pointed to a very uncomfortable looking chair.

“So, I sit here?” I asked, gesturing to the chair next to hers.

“Yeah, I suppose so.” Juliet answered, and she sounded a little relieved.

I wondered if it had anything to do with her douche bag of a step-brother.

It probably did.



**



Brendon and Jon were fashionably late, and dressed like casual rock-stars. They gained the attention of nearly everyone, including Juliet.

She immediately looked at me. “You invited friends… to a funeral?”

I shrugged. “It’s always a little nice to embarrass them.”

“You didn’t tell them it was a funeral, did you?” Juliet caught on quick.

“Nope.” I grinned, waving in their direction.

Brendon smiled in a friendly way, but he looked confused. Jon was frowning, as he obvious knew what they’d walked in to.

Juliet leaned towards me, and her nose wrinkled up in disgust. “You smell like alcohol, Ryan.”

“I went out drinking last night.” I informed her.

“Aren’t you in Italy for rehab?” She called me out.

I shrugged. “Haven’t checked in yet.”

Jon and Brendon reached us, sinking in to chairs. Jon pulled a chair up next to Juliet, obviously annoyed with me. Brendon sat next to me. “Who died?” He whispered, looking scared.

“My father.” Juliet calmly informed the both of them.

“Sorry.” Jon offered.

Juliet turned to look at him. “Thank you.” She sounded sincerely grateful.

I let my hand fall on to her thigh, and I gently caressed her skin… pulling out all my special moves. “I’m sorry too.”

Juliet pushed my hand away.

I didn’t think she was going to say anything, but then she did. “Thanks for coming, Ryan. I guess I did need you. You’re a distraction.” She wasn’t looking at me, but that was okay.

“I knew you’d need me.” I replied.

Juliet stole a glance at me. “You need to check in to rehab.”

Jon noticeably perked up.

Damn her.



**



The service was long, and painfully boring. Once people started talking about David, Juliet started crying. She kept it quiet, and classy… whereas her step-mother cried loudly, and it didn’t seem as heartfelt.

Brendon dabbed at his eyes, and I had to stop from laughing.

Leave it to Brendon to cry for someone he didn’t even know.

“Now please, let the family rise.” The priest spoke with compassion. Juliet’s step-mother rose quickly, and the boy from earlier joined her. Juliet rose slowly, and unsurely. I lightly rubbed her back, encouraging her before she parted from me, and the rest of the crowd.

Juliet grabbed a white rose, while her step-mother and step-brother grabbed red roses. They approached the coffin, which was pure black. The air was heavy, as tears fell down their faces. I watched Juliet, forgetting about the other two.

Juliet muttered something, but no one could hear. Her step-mother loudly, and rudely asked, “What did you say?!” She acted as if Juliet had insulted her.

The crowd watched.

Juliet looked directly at her step-mother, and her eyes burned with an unknown emotion. “I forgave him.”

“Forgave him?” Joy, who was looking less and less like a ‘step mother’ and more like a ‘step monster’ laughed. “Save it. He deserved an apology, not some misguided forgiveness.”

“An apology?” Juliet’s face didn’t betray her, and her emotions were hidden from all watching.

I watched, shocked at the behavior… and I’d seen some pretty bad behavior. I was usually the one displaying bad behavior.

“This is going to get bad.” Jon whispered.

The priest opened his mouth, but then quickly shut it.

“You left him when he needed you.” Joy all but shouted. “He got sick, and you didn’t come back. He waited for you, and hoped you’d show. You didn’t. He died feeling betrayed.”

“I gave him an ultimatum.” Things got even more shocking at Juliet’s confession. “I told him to leave you, and if he didn’t then I would leave and I wouldn’t come back, and I didn’t.”

Joy laughed. “Well, at least everyone in the family now knows what a heartless little bitch you are.”

“I’m not hiding anything from anyone.” Juliet’s eyes fell to her step-brother, but she said nothing.

The priest cleared his throat, and tried to talk over the drama. I missed what else was said amongst the three grieving family members, and then Juliet sat down beside me.

I leaned over, whispering in to her ear. “Daddy issues, or step-mom issues?”

I thought she might smack me, or simply ignore me. Instead she turned towards me. I turned my head, giving her my ear. She brushed her lips against my ear, whether by accident or not I was unsure, and whispered back. “Both.”

God, that felt nice.

I felt my pants tighten, but tried to focus on the fact that I was at a funeral. I wasn’t a total douche bag… always. I could always try for sex later. I mean, she was a girl, why not?

We all stood, as the end of the service was reached. Now they were lowering the casket in to the ground. Jon, being the nice guy that he was, took a gentle hold of one of Juliet’s hands. She was startled at first. I placed my arm around her shoulder, giving her my support.

Tears freely flowed, and as dirt was thrown on to the casket she turned, burying her face in my chest. I was momentarily clueless as to what I should do, but then Jon started rubbing her back and I realized… I wasn’t supposed to do anything.

So, I let her cry.

It was wet.



**



Whispers started. People were still grouped together, talking… and gossiping. I caught bits and pieces as I walked out to my car to get my jacket for Juliet. She was cold. There was a breeze outside. I left her with Jon, and Brendon.

Brendon was doing what he did best: asking her questions. Lots and lots of questions.

Jon was playing the strong and silent role, kindly holding on to her hand. I knew he didn’t mean anything romantic by it… but obviously the crowd wasn’t so convinced.

“I heard he sent her away because of her… inability to keep her legs closed.” The gossiper giggled.

“Doesn’t surprise me. Did you see all three guys? I mean, who brings three guys to a funeral? It isn’t a date.” Someone replied.

They didn’t even see me approach.

“I heard one of the guys even tried to flirt with Joy!” Someone gasped. “At her own husband’s funeral!”

“Doesn’t surprise me. Young people nowadays… they have no morals. She’s holding that one boy’s hand, but she was holding on to the other one too. What’s next, she going to start kissing them?”

“Excuse me.” I gained the gossiping parties attention with my words, though I desperately just wanted to use my fists. This was why I hated people. They sucked. “I’m actually here to mourn the dead.” I coldly told them. “You seem to be here to gossip over the living. Move it somewhere else.”

They looked shocked, but no one said anything… at first.

“Oh my god, are you Ryan Ross?”

Another drooling fan, and anything I said previously fell away.

I didn’t have time for it.

Juliet was waiting for me, and around here… around these people that were supposedly family… she obviously did need me.

Well, she needed someone.

I just happened to be here.