Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The boy from New Jersey

15. I just want to be a Ghost

by dustyhalo 0 reviews

Rachel snaps, Gerard's in trouble, and Frank lends a helping hand.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2013-04-26 - 3929 words

A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter is loaded with grammatical errors... I don't have time to proof read, sorry!


I had woken up in a horrendously bad mood. I was pissed off at my parents, at Bob for no reason at all; I just woke up and had the sudden urge to punch him. I was pissed off at the world in general but most of all I was pissed off at Gerard. At first I had been upset with him given the way he yelled at me and then left me at the bus stop, but then I was just plain and simply mad.
Raven had told me that she would find me somewhere to go. But that probably meant having to move to London. The big city never appealed to me. Maybe for a few days, or maybe even a holiday but to live was just undesirable.
I left early so that I didn’t have to face anyone. I threw my bag down under the tree in the usual spot, and sat there on my own for a while as I drew pictures.
Eventually Frank, Bonnie and Alicia sat down and joined me. Bonnie and Alicia barely acknowledged me, and kind of ignored Frank, too. They talked about how ‘amazing’ their weekend was and babbled on about the most annoying crap, which made me want to puke. Just as I was about to scream at them to fuck off, Bob and Ray showed up and sat down next to me. Bob turned to me.
“You left early…?” He noticed my glare and just nodded instead of questioning.
“So!” Frank exclaimed, breaking the awkward silence as Alicia left to go to the toilet. “Did you all get my txt about Gerard’s party at mine?”
“Yeah,” Ray was the first to speak. “What do you mean by needing an alibi?”
“Well I want to get plastered, and I don’t want parents showing up or my parents finding out about it. They’ll be away this weekend so there’s no way of them finding out if you guys just keep it within the circle. So tell your parents you’ll be elsewhere.”
“Sweet, I’ll just say I’m at Bob’s.” Ray smiled.
“Yeah that’ll work!” Bob exaggerated. “And I’ll say I’m at yours so that if your Mum comes over to see you, my Mum will tell her that she thought I was with you. Perfect alibi, Ray! No really! You fuckin’ idiot!”
“I accept that.” Ray looked at the ground. Bonnie and Frank giggled.
“I’ll just say that I’m at Alicia’s,” Bonnie smiled. My blood boiled. It used to be that she was at mine if she needed an alibi.
“I’ll tell my Mum that I’m at my cousin’s,” Bob said. “And I’ll be taking Ray with me so that he doesn’t fuck this one up for us.”
Bonnie and Frank giggled some more as Ray shifted his squinted eyes at Bob, who was smiling, pretty pleased with himself. He held up his middle finger in Ray’s face while keeping his head facing straight ahead. Then they all turned to me. I could feel their eyes burning through me. I tried to ignore them but then Frank tapped me on the shoulder, I glared at him.
“Is everything okay, Rach?” Frank asked softly.
“Just leave me the fuck alone!” I spat. I snatched my bag and stormed off, bolding Alicia over in the door way as I made my way to the empty year class. I sat down in my usual seat and continued drawing.
I was only in there for ten minutes when my classmates poured in as Bonnie grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me outside the class.
“Let go of me!” I roared as I ripped my arm out of her grip. My breathing was heavy and my nostrils were flared as straightened up my hoodie that I bought in the mall with Gerard. I looked at her with eyes as sharp as knives.
“So you’ve got to find somewhere else to go,” She spat. “That sucks. It really does. But that’s no reason to give us the cold shoulder, especially Frank!”
“Oh what would you care?” I snarled. “You’re so far up Alicia’s ass even you were ignoring Frank!”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” She gasped. “You’ve changed into something horrible ever since you got with Gerard.”
“No,” I growled. “YOU changed into something horrible when YOU started hanging out with that bitch! You’re just too blind to see it!”
She crossed her arms as she slowly moved closer to me, not taking her eyes away from mine.
“I don’t know what your problem is,” She said through gritted teeth. “But you better sort it out before you lose all your friends, starting with me.”
“Like I haven’t already.” I stared daggers into her. “My problem right now is that you’re just a spoilt little rich bitch with no clue how things work for everybody else. You don’t know what it’s like being on the edge because you already have everything you need and want. Go fuck yourself.”
She pursed her lips and stood up straight. With her arms crossed she looked down her nose at me.
“You better sort your fucking self out. Stop being jealous and move on with your life.” She looked me up and down and walked back into the classroom.
I followed behind her and sat down next to her. I ignored everybody around me, including the teacher. As soon as she said that we could go, I grabbed my bag and I raced off to English class.
I stormed to the back of the room and drew some more. Mr. Gerrison must have noticed the bad mood I was in because he just left me to do my own thing. About half way through the lesson, Gerard walked in.
“Sorry I’m late Mr. Gerrison. Can I explain to you later in private?”
Mr. Gerrison agreed as Gerard scanned the classroom for me. As soon as he spotted where I was he strode over and sat next to me. I turned my back to him slightly and put my elbow on the desk and rested my head on my hand. He tapped me on the shoulder; I ignored him.
“Rachel…” He whispered. “Please look at me, I’m sorry.”
I continued drawing. I was doing my best not to turn around and tell him to fuck off.
He passed a note over to me; I screwed it up and shoved it back over to him without even reading it. He sighed and rested his head on his hands.
As soon as the bell rang I grabbed my stuff and I raced out the door; Gerard followed very quickly behind me as he kept calling out my name. As we left the classroom we walked straight into two tall police officers.
“Mr. Way?” The one on the left asked. Students who were passing us by stopped dead in their tracks and watched curiously.
“Uh… Yeah?” Gerard scratched the top of his head.
“We need to you to come back to the station with us.”
“Now’s not a good time. Can I come over after school?” He sighed.
“That’s not possible.” The one on the right said. “Unfortunately you can come with us voluntarily or we’ll have to arrest you. I highly recommend that you come with us voluntarily, it’s an easier and quicker process for all of us; being arrested at school looks bad.”
“Arrested?” He gasped. I turned to him wide eyed. “What for?”
“The assault and threatening to kill Martin Robinson.” The cop on the left said.
“My Dad.” I went red. I hid my face in my hands. My Dad had stooped to some really low levels in his time, but never quite as low as to getting a seventeen year old arrested. Gerard sighed and nodded his head.
“Yeah I’ll come with you.”
The corridor erupted into gossiping whispers. ‘Oh my god, the boy from New Jersey’s getting arrested!’
I watched Gerard leave the school with the cops. I felt so guilty and I was slightly freaking out. The thought of him going to jail was something I really didn’t want to be thinking about but I couldn’t help it. I felt bad because he had tried to apologize to me but I had shrugged him off like he was nothing. I turned around as someone tapped me on the back. It was a very smug looking Alicia.
“Are you pleased with yourself?” She asked.
“Excuse me?” I frowned.
“That,” She said as she pointed towards the door. “Was your doing. So I was just wondering if you were pleased with yourself.”
“I didn’t tell him to do anything!” I rebutted. “I tried to pull him away!”
“You’re a burden, Rachel.” She smirked. “You taint everything and everyone that walks into your life. Bonnie can’t stand you, Bob’s Mum got Larissa to move back in just so that she could get rid of you, and now you’ve gone and got your own boyfriend arrested.”
“Larissa got beaten up!” I spat.
“Oh is that the story they told you?” She raised an eyebrow. My heart sunk. A part of me knew that she was a shit stirrer but a huge part of me also believed her. “If I were you I would be so ashamed of myself.”
“Fuck you Alicia!” I choked up. I turned off in the direction of where Gerard had left with the cops. I ran off before the teachers could call me back to the school grounds; I had no intention of coming back.

-Gerard’s POV-

I sat in the interview room twiddling my thumbs, looking at the ground as the cops walked in with a file.
“So Mr. Way,” They sat down. “I’m Officer Benton and this is my co-worker Officer Carter. Your parents have been informed that you are here.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. I was already in so much trouble with them; this was just going to be the straw that broke the camels back. It couldn’t get any worse.
“They weren’t surprised…?” Officer Benton sort of asked.
“I never been in trouble with the law before,” I told honestly. “But they were there when I punched Rachel’s Dad.”
“You broke his nose.” Officer Carter said. I bit my tongue. I wanted to say that the bastard deserved it if not more, but I knew better than to dig a deeper hole for myself. So I nodded.
“Would you like to tell us why?” Officer Benton asked. “And while you’re at it, explain why you also threatened to kill him.”
“Rachel’s my girlfriend.” I sighed. “I’m quite protective of her. Her parent’s kicked her out not so long ago and I was already raging about that. But then he started hurling abuse at her in street for all to hear, he told her that she was a waste of space and all. I just lost it, I punched him. I didn’t plan to, but I did. The threat was empty; I have no intentions of killing him and I didn’t back then either. I just said it because I was angry.”
“Do you regret it?” Carter asked.
I sat back and sighed. I looked at him in the eye. I wanted to tell him that I had no regrets of anything to do with the situation other than I didn’t beat the living crap out of him. But instead I nodded.
“So you do regret it?” He asked again, raising an eyebrow. I nodded. “You sure about that?”
I looked down at the edge of the table, and started playing with the peeling paint. My leg shook up and down uncontrollably in my nervous state.
“I thought that might be the case.” Carter sighed. “We know you haven’t been in trouble with the law here, at least. We’re still waiting to hear back from the New Jersey police.”
I nodded. I kept pick at the grey paint for a little while before I looked up at them, to find that both of them were still looking at me with straight faces.
“Look,” Officer Benton said as he placed his finger-locked hands on the table as he leaned forward. “Martin Robinson is no stranger to us. We know him quite well, I guess you could say he likes to visit us after he’s gone to the pub and he’s mouthed off to someone and got a punch in the face for it. In other words, we know kind of trouble he provokes. We understand that you’re young and have a lot to learn, and moving from home to another country couldn’t have been easy for you. But a physical attack is a physical attack with or without provocation. A price to pay for harder crimes must be set in place.
Given the circumstances of the situation involved and your own personal situation, fortunately for you, you’re going to get a small slap on the wrist as a warning.”
I looked up at him, hopeful.
“You can choose to either write or verbally give your apology to Mr. Robinson.”
“And if I don’t choose either of them?” I grunted.
“Then you’ll be charger with assault. If convicted you’ll face either deportation back to the United States on the very next plane, or a prison sentence and then deportation. I don’t get a say in either of them, it’s up to the judge. So I recommend the apology, because again, it’s a quicker and easier process for all of us.”
I sat back and banged my fist on the table. I rested my elbow on the arm of the chair and chewed at my fingernails. I knew that Rachel’s Dad deserved what I gave him; there was no question about it. But if I didn’t apologize then I would be deported or sentenced, or both.
“We don’t want to charge you, Mr Way.” Carter cleared his throat. “You’re too young to ruin your track record and mess up your future. If you’re convicted, then a chance for your return to the UK drops drastically and even in twenty years time customs will still be sceptical. This is your opportunity to learn from a mistake, accept a slap on the hand, and move on with your life. We don’t give out these opportunities often.”
“Fine.” I growled. “I’ll apologize.”
“I’m pleased,” Benton smiled. “You have the choice of verbal or written. You have twenty-four hours and then Officer Carter and I will pick you up and take you to see Mr. Robinson where you will either hand him your letter or just flat out apologize. But you can’t just say ‘I’m sorry’. It has to be genuine, and you have to explain why you did, that you know it was wrong and that you won’t do it again.”
I rolled my eyes. This was going to be painful.
The officers were kind of enough to drop me back off at school after officially discharging me from the station. I showed up towards the end of lunch time, to find a frantic Frank. He was running up to me with Bob and Ray not far behind him.
“It’s alright,” I put my hands up. “I haven’t been charged with anything.”
“No, it’s not that,” Frank huffed as he bent down and rested his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. “Rachel took off.”
“What do you mean?” I stood up straight.
“After you went away with the cops Rachel just ran away. Nobody’s seen her since.”
“Do you have any idea where she could be?” I panicked.
The three of them shook their heads.
“Right.” I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers as I thought hard of what to do next. “I remember Rachel saying something about a treehouse; I’ll go check there. Bob and Ray you two split up and search every damn room in the school just in case, Frank you go check in the park.”
With that said we all split up and bolted off in our own directions.

- Rachel’s POV -

I sat under the willow tree in the park. I literally had nowhere to go. I had no money, or any food or clothes. I balled my eyes out into my hands. My life of sixteen years so far had literally been persistent struggle after struggle. And just when I thought things were starting to look up it fell down as quickly as it started. My best friend hated me and I genuinely believed that Raven was just trying to get rid of me. I also believed that Gerard had been arrested for standing up for me with his own fists, which is true but if I could just grow a pair and stand up for myself then Gerard wouldn’t be at the police station.
No wonder why he was so angry at me at the bus stop, and he had every right to be even angrier at me for blanking him as he tried to apologize for something he shouldn’t have, right before getting arrested for me.
I looked up; my face pressed in pain and tears. It was Frank. He sat down next to me and hugged me tight. He rubbed my back as I sobbed uncontrollably.
“You’re coming back to mine.” He said.
I sat up and wiped my tears; I controlled my breathing, or did my best to at least. I kept hiccupping. I shook my head.
“I don’t want to be a burden.” I choked, fighting back tears again.
“Rach you are not a burden!” He said. He was frowning with concern. “You’re a friend in a shit of a situation and I wanna help you.”
“I just want to be a ghost,” I sobbed. “If I could just be invisible or non-existent then this would stop happening.”
“Don’t say that!” He said firmly. “Everybody has trying times. Everybody has to face shit we don’t want to face. We all want to hide the bad stuff and we all pretend that nothing is wrong. You’re not alone in this feeling. I face shit like this everyday.”
“You do?” I asked as I wiped my eyes. He nodded. “You haven’t even asked your parents…?”
He rolled his eyes and sighed.
“If they even notice you, then they won’t mind. I reckon you’ll love Agnes.”
“Who’s Agnes?” I asked.
“Well if you come home with me, you’ll find out.” He smiled.
“I sighed. I really didn’t have a choice. I had nowhere else to go; there would be no harm in trying again. I nodded.
“Cool. I’ll get my driver to pick us up from Bob’s.” He said.
“Your driver?” I raised an eyebrow. He avoided the answer.
“So then you can pick up your stuff and I’ll let everyone know that you’re safe.”
He grabbed me by the arm as he pulled me up with him. I grabbed my bag and we walked to Bob’s. It was a thirty minute silent walk. Frank kicked the stones as he kept his eyes on the ground with his hands in his pockets all the way.
When we arrived at Bob’s, he started making calls to the boys from his phone as I spoke to Raven.
“Are his parents okay with this?” She raised an eyebrow.
“He seems to think they will be. We’re being picked up soon anyway.”
“Okay, I’ll let you go,” She said as she stared into space before shaking her head and looked at me. “But you have to call Marie first and then promise me that if it falls through you will come straight back here.”
I agreed. I grabbed the phone and called Aunt Marie, but the phone went to the answer machine; she wasn’t home so I left a message.
“Hey Aunty, it’s me Rachel. I’m just calling to let you know that I’m going to go stay with Frank. Larissa’s moving back home. I’ll call you when I get to Frank’s, I don’t know the address or number yet so I’ll call you as soon as I know.”
I turned to Raven and made my promise. She was still sceptical until Frank handed her a piece of paper with his address and numbers on it. Her eyes widened and she looked at Frank with her jaw slightly dropped.
I didn’t pay too much attention; I was curious but I needed to get my stuff packed. I shoved all my belongings and clothes into big rubbish bags and put them next to the front door.
I walked back into the kitchen where Frank and Raven were talking. I was about to say something when a car horn sounded outside.
“Car’s here.” Frank said.
I walked over to Raven and hugged her.
“Thank you so much for your help and looking after me.”
“Any time.” She smiled.
We walked outside with my bags in our arms. My face dropped when I saw the car. It was a black flash latest model BMW. A man in a three-piece suit probably more expensive than my parents’ cars put together flicked the boot and helped me pile my stuff in. He walked around to the back door and opened it for Frank and I. And after I climbed in he closed it for us.
I looked around. The seats were crème coloured comfortable leather, and the car smelt of mahogany. I looked at Frank.
“Don’t ask.” He said.
We drove for a good thirty minutes in silence before I turned to him again.
“Where are we going?”
“My house.” He answered.
“You live really far away.”
“Yup.” He sighed.
“What’s with the flash car and driver? Are you two related?” I asked.
“No.” He sighed again. “Look Rachel, I can relate to your life story more than you think I can. But on opposite ends of the … spectrum.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as we pulled up a long driveway. He ignored my question.
I looked out the window. The gravel road was aligned with tall trees that would look magnificent in autumn. We drove down the long driveway for at least five minutes before the car came to a halt.
The driver opened up my door and I stepped out. I looked over a field filled with horses.
As the driver opened the boot for us, Frank and I grabbed my bags. As the driver closed the boot, we all turned around.
I took one look at Frank’s house and my mouth dropped and my eyes just about bulged out of their sockets. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
“Holy fucking shit!” I turned to Frank who had a blank look on his face.
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