FicWad

I woke up peacefully on the Sunday morning. I snuggled into the pillow and curled the duvet up to just under my eyes. I rolled over and faced a still sleeping Gerard. He looked so peaceful; his hair wasn’t in his mouth this time. Instead he looked like he was smiling. On occasion he twitched and grumbled something in his sleep. I giggled I tried to figure out what he was dreaming about.
We had only been together for a week and already it felt like a lot longer than that, already I was almost completely comfortable around him. I thought back to a mere three weeks ago and couldn’t believe how fast and drastically my life had changed. I had gone from being neglected by my parents who had kicked me out, to living with Bob and being in what was already a serious relationship with Gerard.
My chest grew so heavy and collapsed under the pressure of the sudden realization that Gerard wasn’t going to be living in the UK forever. In less than a years time he would be moving back to New Jersey with his family. What would happen then? Would he look me in the eye and tell me it’s over before he goes? Would he ask me to go with him? Would he stay here with me and somehow get around immigration laws? If I was to go back with him how would I get around the immigration laws? Would his parents even let me go back with them? Would they even let him stay with me? My mind riddled with worry and raced to a million miles an hour; I started panicking. My breathing intensified and I couldn’t control it. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, and began tugging at the roots as I tried to calm my breathing. It wasn’t working. I tried to think of something else, like the party Frank was holding at his parent’s house next weekend, instead I thought even more of this situation.
I felt Gerard’s hand rub up my back and across my shoulders as he sat up. He pulled me in for a close hug.
“Just take some deep slow breaths, you’ll be fine.” He said as he played with my hair. “Slow breaths Rachel, you’ll pass out if you don’t get it under control.”
The room darkened as I went dizzy from the hyperventilation. He rubbed my back and held my hand.
“Just slow breaths,” He whispered. “Inhale. Pause. Exhale. Inhale. Pause. Exhale.”
As I inhaled and paused it felt like my lungs were going to explode. I slowly exhaled and paused; again I felt my chest about to burst. I inhaled slowly and felt my body begin to relax. I repeated the process until I had calmed completely. Gerard rubbed my back and caressed my hand.
“That’s better,” He smiled. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I lied.
“You had a panic attack for the hell of it?” He raised an eyebrow. “There’s no such thing. What’s wrong?”
“You’ll think I’m stupid.”
“Try me.”
I sighed and looked down at our hands. His hand was so much bigger than mine; it was broader and longer, but his touch was soft. I looked up at him and he was looking at me, half smiling.
“You’ll be gone in less than a year.” I sighed.
“Where am I going?” He asked.
“Back to New Jersey.” I looked back down at our hands. “You wont be here forever.”
“Hun that’s just under a year away, why are you thinking about that now?” He asked. His tone was of worry.
“I don’t know, it just crossed my mind,” I paused. “And then I tried not to think about it but then it got worse.”
“The pink elephant.” He looked up. I slowly raised my head to him, frowning slightly.
“What?” I asked.
“The pink elephant theory.” He smiled, realizing how random it sounded. “If you try not to think of a pink elephant, you’ll think of nothing but the pink elephant.”
I cracked up laughing. Now I was picturing a big pink elephant in the room. He smiled at my laughter.
“And for the record,” He kissed my shoulder. “It could be over a year. Remember how I was telling you my Dad could get his job extended by six months if they need him? I’ll be eighteen then, I’ll be legally allowed to make my own decisions. So let’s not worry about this until the time comes, okay?”
I nodded and smiled. I rested my head into his chest as he hugged me and kissed the top of my head.
“You silly thing.” He giggled. “I have an idea.”
“What’s that?” I said as I sat up and looked at him, I kissed him on the lips.
“I’ll go downstairs and get some food, bring it back up and we’ll sit in here and watch the entire Hannibal trilogy. How does that sound?”
“That sounds good.” I smiled. He kissed me on the mouth and smiled back at me.
“I’ll be back.” He said in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. He got up and left the room.

-Gerard’s POV-

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I grabbed a large plastic container and piled in some left over’s from yesterday’s breakfast. I grabbed a whole bunch of muffins and pancakes. As I turned to walk back upstairs I bumped into my Mom.
“Breakfast in bed?” She asked as she made herself a coffee.
“Yup! Good breakfast too, don’t have to put any effort into it!” I grinned.
She smiled. She paused and slowly turned around.
“Look. I’m sorry with the way I almost brought up ‘The Talk’ yesterday during breakfast.” She sighed. I kissed her on the cheek.
“Don’t worry about it, you were just concerned as mothers are.” I rolled my eyes. “As you always have been. I remember the Talk you gave me and Victoria, now that was-”
“I wanted to say something yesterday, but then I cut to the chase.” She recalled. “The reason I cut to the chase was that I didn’t want to put Rachel on the spot in front of your Dad.”
I looked at her blankly.
“When I knocked on the door and asked if you were awake, do you remember what you said?”
“I said I was busy.” I cleared my throat.
“Right. Were you two having sex?”
I cringed. I just looked at her with begging eyes, begging her to stop.
“You were weren’t you?”
“No.” I gulped. “We were smoking, and I didn’t want you to see it.”
“Uh huh,” She shifted her weight onto one leg and crossed her arms. She eyed me out suspiciously. “And why were you smoking?”
“Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” I sighed.
“Not particularly.” She answered.
“Then why ask?”
She paused for a bit. “I didn’t.”
I chuckled, she had put herself in an awkward position.
“Look,” She paused again. “I know what it’s like. You meet someone, you fall in love, you can’t keep your hands off each other. I get that. I was like that with your D-”
“I GET THE POINT!” I yelled. She laughed.
“Good.” She said. “But all I ask is that you don’t do anything else. Not until she is on the pill, Gerard. And I am being serious. Once she is on the pill and it’s all safe, you two can go at it like rabbits for all I care.”
I screwed my face up. I appreciated my parents for being so relaxed and calm about everything, and understanding. I got that not many teenagers’ parents remembered what they got up to as teenagers. But that didn’t make it less awkward when my Mom felt the need to say things like that.
“Thank you.” I said awkwardly. “Can I go back to my room now?”
She smiled and nodded. I walked slowly down the hallway and up the stairs with my face still screwed up.

-Rachel’s POV-

He walked in with a plastic box full of food. He dumped it down on the bed and plugged the T.V in at the end. He grabbed some DVDs and chucked them on top of the DVD player that he had placed at the end of the bed. It was when he turned to get back on the bed I noticed he looked so uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Mum felt the urge to give me the sex talk again. I’ll just sum it up. We’re not having sex until you’re on the pill. Got it?”
I burst into laughter. He gave me an evil glare, and pushed play.
The next six and a half hours we spent watching the Hannibal trilogy and munching on muffins and pancakes. Half way through Silence of the Lambs, Donna brought us in some Krispy Kreme donuts for us. She had looked at the TV and rolled her eyes and shook her head on her way out of the room as she said, I don’t understand teenagers these days.
“So what did you think?” He turned asked me as he pulled out Hannibal from the DVD player and put the DVDs back on their shelf.
“I just about shat myself in Red Dragon, nearly fell asleep in Silence of the Lambs and died from the intension in Hannibal.” I answered. Gerard laughed.
“You nearly fell asleep!? Silence of the Lambs is AWESOME!” He cried.
“It’s fucking boring.”
“Would you fuck me?” He danced. “I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me hard. I’d fuck me so hard.”
I looked at him, slightly disturbed.
“You must have fallen asleep during that part.” He laughed.
“Sounds interesting…” I rolled my eyes.
“It was marvellous!” He cried out dramatically. I shook my head and grinned. “But unfortunately, now I have to take you home. We’ll go by bus. It takes longer.”
I sighed. I dragged myself out of the bed and over to my stuff. I shoved everything into my bag and kicked it.
“Hey,” He said as he hugged me from behind. “Don’t worry. You’ll see me tomorrow.”
“Can’t we just watch one more movie and then I’ll go?” I sighed. He kissed me on the neck.
“I would agree to that if only I didn’t know that you’d ask the same thing after that movie, too.” He kissed my neck again. “Like I said, don’t worry. You’ll see me tomorrow.”
“I promise it’ll be just one more movie!”
“Babe,” He turned me around and held my face. “You’ll see me tomorrow. It’s already 5.30, I don’t want to push Raven’s luck. We’ll go by bus, okay?”
I sighed and nodded. He kissed my forehead.
“I’ll meet you downstairs.” He left the room.
I turned and looked out the window. The street I once lived on was getting dark. I studied my parents house; it looked even more lifeless than it did before I left. My parent’s car wasn’t there, I wondered where they had gone to. I shook my head, why did I even care?
I grabbed my bag and art folder. I left the room and walked down the stairs and into the living room where everybody was.
“Are you going now, Rachel?” Mikey asked as he stood up. This time he wasn’t watching the Ninja Turtles, to my surprise. He was watching Ghostbusters with Don and Donna.
“Yeah I am,” I smiled.
“Why doesn’t Rachel just come live here?” He turned to Donna.
“Say goodbye, Mikey.” Donna rolled her eyes.
He ran up to me and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and smiled.
“You’ll see me again soon,”
“I hope so!” He beamed.
“It was good having you here, Rachel,” Don smiled as he stood up and pulled me in for a hug. It took me by surprise. “You’re more than welcome to come over any time.”
“Definitely,” Donna smiled. She shoved Don out the way and hugged me. “I’ll call you in the week once I’ve made your appointment, okay?”
I nodded and Gerard cringed.
“Thank you for having me you guys,” I smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”
As we left Gerard’s house and began our journey to the bus stop, I noticed my parents’ car pull up outside the shithole state house. I froze on the spot, Gerard tried to pull me along but it was like trying to drag an unmovable force. It was like somebody had super-glued my feet to the ground and my bones and joints together. I could not move at all.
“If you’re hoping for a free pass you’re wasting your time!” My Mum slurred as she stepped out of the car. She had three bottles of wine and my Dad had a couple of two dozen beer boxes.
“We’re not trying to bother you. I’m taking her home.” Gerard growled.
“Oh, are you now?” My Mother spat. “This thing has a home now? ‘Suppose you think you’re better than us. You and your happy family life, you’re so perfect aren’t you?”
“Compared what you call life, fuck yes I am!” Gerard growled.
“Who the fuck do you think you are talking to us like that?” My Dad slurred. “You oughta show some us respect boy, you don’t wanna run your mouth around here.”
“Or what?” Gerard stepped up to my Dad. I came back to reality and tried to pull Gerard back, he wriggled his arm out of my grip and stepped up face-to-face with my Dad. “Or what are you gonna do old man?”
“Don’t you get in my fucking face!” My Dad screamed. He slammed the boxes of beer down on the car and rolled up his sleeves.
“I asked you a question! What ARE you gonna do old man?” Gerard yelled back. The pair of them starred each other down.
“Gerard let’s go, don’t do this, please.” I tried to pull him back again, but again he wriggled out of my grip. Gerard’s lips were pursed, and his nostrils flared. His fists grew into grips so tight his knuckles were turning snow white. My Dad was slightly swaying side to side, breathing heavy and lightly growling. His face was slightly pointing downward but his eyes were at Gerard’s. He was getting ready for the fight.
“Go back inside, Rachel.” Gerard said through gritted teeth. “I don’t want you to see this.”
“Oh how sweet,” My Mum mocked. “He just doesn’t want you seeing him get his ass kicked!”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Gerard yelled at her. My Dad took a swing at him; Gerard dodged. “WATCH IT! FUCKING WATCH IT OLD MAN! I’LL FUCKING TEAR YOU TO PIECES AND BURY YOU WHERE NO ONE CAN FIND YOU!”
Donna and Don came running out the front door.
“Gerard!” Don screamed as he raced up to him. “GERARD! WALK AWAY!”
My Dad shoved Gerard back and laughed at him. “I pity pieces of shit like you on a daily basis.”
“I’m a piece of shit?” Gerard’s eyes widened. “I’M A PIECE OF SHIT!? YOU’RE A FUCKING DRUNK! YOU DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD AND I’M A PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!?”
“SHE’S A WASTE OF SPACE!” My Dad screamed. Don tried to pull Gerard back but he failed. Gerard shoved Don back and turned to my Dad.
“YOU’RE A FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE!” And with that said, Gerard raised his fist and punched my Dad straight in the nose, breaking it.
“GERARD!” Don yelled as he grabbed Gerard by the roots of his hair and dragged him back to the sidewalk. He pulled his head down and kicked lightly at his feet, causing Gerard to sit down. “STAY THERE!”
Don turned back to my Dad, who was still holding his nose and started giving him a piece of his mind.
“You’re so big and tough aren’t you?” Don said more than asked. “You’re so big and tough taking on a teenage boy in the street. Go back inside before I tear you a new one.”
“You filthy whore!” My Mum screeched at me before grabbing my Dad’s arm and shoving him in the direction of the house. “GRAB YOUR FUCKING BEER!” My Dad grabbed the boxes and turned to Gerard.
“You think this is over, little punk?” My Dad warned. “You haven’t seen shit!”
They stormed off inside.
Gerard stood up and tilted his head back as Don yelled at him.
“What the HELL were you thinking?!” Don’s eyes were fatal. “You can’t go around punching people because you fucking damn well feel like it!”
“He needed to be taught a fucking lesson!” Gerard pointed towards my parents’ house as he screamed back at Don. “Fuck him and FUCK YOU!”
He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me down to the bus stop. I tried to keep up with his storming brisk walk but ended up jogging. I took a glance back, Donna was hugging Don and they slowly turned and walked back in side.
Gerard shook with rage as we waited at the bus stop. His middle knuckle had a cut on it.
“You shouldn’t have said that to your Dad,” I said softly. He grunted and looked to the left, folding his arms. “He was only trying to help.”
Gerard didn’t say anything. He was still fuming and shaking.
“He was just upset.” I stepped up next to him.
No response.
“He just wants the best for y-”
“I GET YOUR FUCKING POINT!” He turned and yelled at me.
I jumped back into the seating area of the bus stop. I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t take my eyes off Gerard. He just turned and looked back down the left side of the street. He grabbed a cigarette and lit up. He chain smoked the entire cigarette and his free hand was balled into a tight fist.
He finished his cigarette and he turned to me. His eyes were raging, his lips were pursed and he had both his fists at his sides. I felt terrified of him.
“Please don’t hit me,” I shook. “I was just trying to make you feel better.”
He spat onto the ground. He stormed up to me, I flinched. He handed me the money.
“Take the bus home. I’ll see you at school.” He stormed off.
I sat in the bus stop shaking, nervously looking up and down the street for anyone that might be coming. When the bus arrived I jumped on and sat directly behind the driver, and faced the side of the bus so that I could keep an eye on everyone on board.
As soon as the bus stopped at my stop, I bolted back to Bob’s. I raced in and slammed the door behind me. Bob was standing the hallway, scratching his head. He looked pissed off.
“What’s the matter with you?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Are you okay?”
“No.” He replied too quickly. “Come with me.”
I followed him into the lounge. Raven was sitting on the leather couch opposite the doorway, with a very traumatized looking Larissa. It took me a few moments to realize that she had been beaten up.
“I’ve got bad news, Rachel.” Raven said. My heart sank. “I’m afraid Larissa’s coming back home.”
I sat down on the couch. My head fell into my hands.
“She was living with her boyfriend.” Raven said through gritted teeth. “And I’m afraid he’s the one who has done this to her.”
I burst into tears. Bob sat down next to me and hugged me.
“It’s okay.” He said. “We’ll figure this out again. Don’t worry, we’ll all be okay.”
“Bob’s right, doll.” Raven said. “We’ll figure this out.”
“I’m so sorry.” Larissa cried.
“It’s not your fault!” I wiped my tears. “I’m just an emotional wreck today, I’ll be fine in the morning.”
“Larissa needs her bed tonight, doll. You can sleep in Bob’s bed until we find somewhere for you to go.”
I nodded. I grabbed hold of Bob’s hand as he walked us to his room and I swallowed my tears.
“I’m sorry,” I sat down on the bed. “I’m not crying because I can’t live here. It’s just the straw that broke the camel’s back today.”
“Everything okay with you and Gerard?” He asked.
I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t know. He got into a fight with my Dad. Punched him and flipped his own Dad off. Then when we got to the bus stop he screamed at me. I was only trying to help him” I burst into tears again.
“Did he hurt you?” Bob growled. I shook my head. He relaxed slightly and sat down on the bed next to me, and sighed. “We’ll figure this out.”
I crawled into bed and cried into the pillow. He turned the light off and got into bed. He snuggled up to me and cuddled me, holding my hand as I cried myself to sleep.