FicWad

I’m not going to lie and say that Jepha was just a one night stand that I could care less about. There was something about him. Something that was almost comforting. I thought about what it could be long and hard as I walked down the busy street back to the club. I understand I probably should have taken a cab but I could use the fresh air.

By the time I got my car I couldn’t figure out what the familiar feeling was so I shrugged it off as nothing. I had a slight smile on my face that I didn’t want to admit was there.

~

There was something strange going on. A little smile here and there that seemed to be for no reason. Brian had questioned me on it multiple times and I honestly couldn’t answer. I didn’t want to say I had feelings for Jepha after only meeting with him over a couple of weeks, but I couldn’t deny that I liked being in his presence. It wasn’t just sex with him. It was just watching a movie or eating at a small diner with shitty food and amazing malts.

I knew that Jeph was respecting my boundaries when I didn’t like to cuddle that much just like I respected how he didn’t want to be at his apartment because of his roommate. Of course I had fun with him but there was always something off. I felt like I was betraying myself. I didn’t think I deserved to actually feel any sort of happiness after Him. I’m not going to lie and say it was his entire fault. I know that I must have done something wrong, even if I don’t exactly know what it was.

The one thing I really liked about Jepha was that he knew when I wasn’t feeling to good and just let me be. He never pushed things. I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell him what was wrong. I could never open up again. All I said was that I had been in a bad relationship.. that’s all it was, wasn’t it?

I was scared, though. There had to be a catch. Wasn’t there always? I guess I would find out when my life started to go downhill again. It always did.

~

It started when I was going to a gig with Jepha on a Saturday night. His car was in the shop and I was going to pick him up. He was running late, of course, so I parked outside and went up to meet him at his door. He answered the door looking like he just took a shower, don’t ask me why because we were just going to go get sweaty anyways.

“Hey Frank, just uhh, take a seat I’ll be right there.” Jepha smiled. I did as told. He seemed a little uneasy but as I sat there longer I realized I could hear some people talking in the other room. His roommate must be home I supposed. I didn’t exactly get why he still lived with his roommate if he was so uncomfortable with him. I figured I would ask him later about it.

Getting a little bored and wondering what Jeph could be doing that would take this long, I got up and started looking around the apartment. I walked around the living room looking at the stubbed out cigarettes and the unused ashtray. It was definitely a mess, but not in a bad way I guess.

I saw and unfamiliar wallet laying on the coffee table. It must be the roommate’s wallet. Out of pure curiosity, I reached for the black Velcro thing. As I was about to grab it Jeph came bursting into the room yelling, “Alright, I’m ready. Lets go!” I guess I would find out later.

But walking out the door I heard a noise the made my stomach clench. A cute high pitched laugh. Just a laugh. A laugh that sounded so familiar but, it was different. It couldn’t be His. It was too.. broken I supposed. Jeph asked me what was wrong but it was only a faint murmur. I shook my head saying I was fine and walked out the door with him.

It couldn’t be the same, it never was..