Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Why would she be interested in you?
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Why would she be interested in you?
(#) MCR-99 2013-05-21
Oh god, I'm gonna feel bad for giving you Constructive Critisism as this is your first fic and you're new and all, but, it may help in future maybe? A few pointers, that's all.
1. You need to capitialise the 'I' if it's first person.
2. Spacing between commas, please. I did this when I was fairly new on this site, but I learned that you need a space after punctuation.
That's it, really. Other than that, this story is good, but for the third chapter, you need more description.
And, if you're really on three chapters, this story isn't really complete, because, for a proper flow of a story, you need more than three chapters, filled with as much information about the characters and the setting as possible, so the reader can actually see the place and the characters for themselves, and it makes the story feel more real.
But, all in all, this is pretty good for your first fic. Hi, I'm Sadie by the way.
:)
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