Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Stones Of Words.
Gerard’s POV
It was strange how hard it was to try and adjust back into life without Frank, for the first two months, I found myself still going to Starbucks at 7:30 in the morning like we always had, when I’m sad I go to the cemetery where we used to hang out, and when I’m missing him I’ll be in my room, writing more lyrics about him like a sad little girl.
Frank and I don’t get to talk much, I’ve been pretty busy with the guys and the band I never have time, we’re signed to a small label now, nothing big but I still feel like Frank should be part of this band too but it would seem that’s not meant to be. When Frank and I do get to talk it’s never really for long and we don’t know what to talk about, it’s not the same as talking in person, face to face, it’s less emotional when it’s over the phone or on IM which makes it harder to say things you want to say, the important things, but that’s okay, it’s October 25th today, so it’s six days away from Frank’s birthday and he’s finally turning eighteen and well, I have a little surprise in mind for him, well not a little surprise, quite a big surprise…
Frank’s POV
“six days” I muttered happily as I crossed off yet another day on the calendar, I put the top back on the red sharpie and placed it back on the table, I walked over to the living room and flopped down onto the couch, I didn’t do anything, I just sat there, it was peaceful, mom was at work and well I had nothing better to do, I sat in silence staring at my phone contemplating whether to call Gerard or not, he’s probably busy, he usually is, loads of stuff to do with the band, I sighed and sat back and then my phone started buzzing violently on my thigh, I picked it up and flipped it open, happy to see Gerard’s name flashing on the screen, I answered and pressed the phone to my ear “Hey Gerard, I was just about to call you.” I said smiling, he laughed softly “well great minds think alike.” He answered “So what’s up?” I asked cheerfully, my mood being instantly brightened by the sound of his voice “Not much really, I just had a break from the studio so I thought I’d call you, we haven’t spoken in a while, I was starting to forget the sound of your voice.” He replied, I smiled once again “Well I’m glad you didn’t, hopefully I’ll get to see your face soon too.” I heard Gerard sigh “Yeah…about that, look I’m really sorry, I really am, I miss you a tonne but well mom kinda booked tickets to go to Italy over Christmas to visit some family over there…” my heart sank a little “Oh…when do you leave?” I asked “15th November…” he replied “Look it’s fine Gerard, your family is more important than I am…I guess I can wait a little longer to see you…” I trailed off “I know I’m so sorry, your Birthday present is in the mail though, it’s pretty big so you might have to collect it from the post office but I hope you have a great day, I’ll call you on the morning sometime, but I gotta go, I miss you.” He said before hanging up “I miss you too…” I said bluntly into the dead line. Well that’s just ruined my day.
I flipped open my phone again and went through the contacts, I dialled a number and waited for an answer “Hello?” the voice replied “Hey it’s Frank, you wanna hang out?” I asked “Oh hey Frankie! Sure let’s hang out! I’ll meet you at the park in ten yeah?” the voice replied “Sure, see you later Maddy”
Maddy was the only friend I had here, we knew each other from school, we weren’t friends exactly, but we made conversation now and then if we had classes together, but then I left because of what happened and I met her again a few weeks after coming back, she works in the local record store and I wondered in to see what they had and we got talking, we’re quite good friends now, she knows everything about my time in New Jersey, she knows I was attacked because it’s why I left in the first place, I haven’t told her the full story either.
I grabbed my jacket, keys and put my phone back into my pocket and made my way to the park, once I got there Maddy was already sitting on a bench with her bright blue skull candy headphones on, she had dark brown hair that stopped about two inches below her shoulders, the tips of her hair a vibrant purple, she had blue eyes that were highlighted with a thin strip of black eyeliner, she was wearing faded orange high wasted shorts and black doc martens, and what I assumed to be a band t-shirt with the letters ’MCR’ on it in big white writing.
She smiled as I approached her and she engulfed me into a hug “Hi Frank! What’s up? You didn’t sound too joyous on the phone…” she pointed out, I shrugged “Seeing Gerard’s been postponed, he’s going to Italy with his family for Christmas… so I won’t get to see him until next year now…” I trailed off, saying it like that made it feel like a lifetime away, she placed a hand on my shoulder “It’s okay Frank...” she whispered, smiling at me reassuringly, I nodded and pointed to her shirt “what does that stand for?” pointing at the initials on her shirt, she grinned “oh my god they are this totally awesome band, they’re pretty new, they don’t have an album yet but I found their demos on the internet and I found their merch section on eyeball records website!” she rambled on, I rolled my eyes “Maddy, you still haven’t told me what it stands for…” I trailed off, she laughed “Oh haha, it stands for My Chemical Romance” my heart stopped, “What did you just say?” she looked at me confused “I said My Chemical Romance….why?” I stared at her “That’s…that’s their band…the guys.” I looked at her and her mouth almost dropped open “Oh my god, I’m the biggest fan of your boyfriends band.” She said laughing, I shook my head “Gerard isn’t my boyfriend Maddy, you know that…” she sighed and rolled her eyes “Right, fine sure, because you’re totally not going to get married when it’s legalised and have beautiful impossible babies.” I rolled my eyes “You’re like every fan girl on the internet in human form you do know that right?” I stated laughing, she shrugged “I can’t help being passionate about a lot of things…I’m all for frerard. I ship it” she finished and I looked at her quizzically “Frerard?” I questioned, she nodded and grinned “Yeah it’s your ship name, like…Jalex or Andley…” she explained, I laughed “Right, okay.” I shook my head smiling, “So Frank…can I ask you something?” she said smiling at me “sure.” I said as we continued walking down the path through the park “So have you ever told Gerard you loved him?” I looked at her wide eyed “Um…no, no I haven’t.” I admit, she smiles “Will you?” I sighed and smiled “I almost did once…” I trailed off; she tilted her head “Why didn’t you?” I stopped walking and pushed my hands into my pockets before continuing “It wasn’t what he needed to hear.” I finished “Why?” suddenly my happier mood had vanished and a flood of memories from leaving Jersey came back, feeling queasy, I looked to her “he wasn’t even there at the time…I was leaving, leaving the first time, right before we went to the airport, Gerard had left the house, he didn’t like the negative atmosphere, he went out to calm down and he didn’t know my mom had plane tickets for that night, so my mom made me pack up my things and go basically, Gerard wasn’t there for me to say goodbye, so I was going to ask Mikey to tell him I love him…but I changed my mind, because…well I don’t really know why. I should have told him in person, when I was in the hospital, but I couldn’t.” I finished, tears in my eyes, Maddy engulfed me into a hug “It’s okay Frank, you’ll see him again soon, you’ll get to say it to him, face to face and he’ll say it right back.” She pulled away and smiled, I smiled back weakly “Look, I don’t really feel like hanging out any more, I kinda wanna be alone…sorry I dragged you out for nothing…I’ll call you later.” She smiled again and nodded “It’s fine Frank, I’m feeling a McDonalds anyway so I’ll see you ‘round.” She said smiling and walking away.
I stood there in that spot for a few minutes…
Should I even love Gerard? I mean after what happened to me…even if I did say I loved him…how could he say the same to me? I’m a disgrace, I’m filthy and…and fucking insane if I think I even have a chance at a happy ending, there’s no way anyone could ever love me…not anymore…
It was strange how hard it was to try and adjust back into life without Frank, for the first two months, I found myself still going to Starbucks at 7:30 in the morning like we always had, when I’m sad I go to the cemetery where we used to hang out, and when I’m missing him I’ll be in my room, writing more lyrics about him like a sad little girl.
Frank and I don’t get to talk much, I’ve been pretty busy with the guys and the band I never have time, we’re signed to a small label now, nothing big but I still feel like Frank should be part of this band too but it would seem that’s not meant to be. When Frank and I do get to talk it’s never really for long and we don’t know what to talk about, it’s not the same as talking in person, face to face, it’s less emotional when it’s over the phone or on IM which makes it harder to say things you want to say, the important things, but that’s okay, it’s October 25th today, so it’s six days away from Frank’s birthday and he’s finally turning eighteen and well, I have a little surprise in mind for him, well not a little surprise, quite a big surprise…
Frank’s POV
“six days” I muttered happily as I crossed off yet another day on the calendar, I put the top back on the red sharpie and placed it back on the table, I walked over to the living room and flopped down onto the couch, I didn’t do anything, I just sat there, it was peaceful, mom was at work and well I had nothing better to do, I sat in silence staring at my phone contemplating whether to call Gerard or not, he’s probably busy, he usually is, loads of stuff to do with the band, I sighed and sat back and then my phone started buzzing violently on my thigh, I picked it up and flipped it open, happy to see Gerard’s name flashing on the screen, I answered and pressed the phone to my ear “Hey Gerard, I was just about to call you.” I said smiling, he laughed softly “well great minds think alike.” He answered “So what’s up?” I asked cheerfully, my mood being instantly brightened by the sound of his voice “Not much really, I just had a break from the studio so I thought I’d call you, we haven’t spoken in a while, I was starting to forget the sound of your voice.” He replied, I smiled once again “Well I’m glad you didn’t, hopefully I’ll get to see your face soon too.” I heard Gerard sigh “Yeah…about that, look I’m really sorry, I really am, I miss you a tonne but well mom kinda booked tickets to go to Italy over Christmas to visit some family over there…” my heart sank a little “Oh…when do you leave?” I asked “15th November…” he replied “Look it’s fine Gerard, your family is more important than I am…I guess I can wait a little longer to see you…” I trailed off “I know I’m so sorry, your Birthday present is in the mail though, it’s pretty big so you might have to collect it from the post office but I hope you have a great day, I’ll call you on the morning sometime, but I gotta go, I miss you.” He said before hanging up “I miss you too…” I said bluntly into the dead line. Well that’s just ruined my day.
I flipped open my phone again and went through the contacts, I dialled a number and waited for an answer “Hello?” the voice replied “Hey it’s Frank, you wanna hang out?” I asked “Oh hey Frankie! Sure let’s hang out! I’ll meet you at the park in ten yeah?” the voice replied “Sure, see you later Maddy”
Maddy was the only friend I had here, we knew each other from school, we weren’t friends exactly, but we made conversation now and then if we had classes together, but then I left because of what happened and I met her again a few weeks after coming back, she works in the local record store and I wondered in to see what they had and we got talking, we’re quite good friends now, she knows everything about my time in New Jersey, she knows I was attacked because it’s why I left in the first place, I haven’t told her the full story either.
I grabbed my jacket, keys and put my phone back into my pocket and made my way to the park, once I got there Maddy was already sitting on a bench with her bright blue skull candy headphones on, she had dark brown hair that stopped about two inches below her shoulders, the tips of her hair a vibrant purple, she had blue eyes that were highlighted with a thin strip of black eyeliner, she was wearing faded orange high wasted shorts and black doc martens, and what I assumed to be a band t-shirt with the letters ’MCR’ on it in big white writing.
She smiled as I approached her and she engulfed me into a hug “Hi Frank! What’s up? You didn’t sound too joyous on the phone…” she pointed out, I shrugged “Seeing Gerard’s been postponed, he’s going to Italy with his family for Christmas… so I won’t get to see him until next year now…” I trailed off, saying it like that made it feel like a lifetime away, she placed a hand on my shoulder “It’s okay Frank...” she whispered, smiling at me reassuringly, I nodded and pointed to her shirt “what does that stand for?” pointing at the initials on her shirt, she grinned “oh my god they are this totally awesome band, they’re pretty new, they don’t have an album yet but I found their demos on the internet and I found their merch section on eyeball records website!” she rambled on, I rolled my eyes “Maddy, you still haven’t told me what it stands for…” I trailed off, she laughed “Oh haha, it stands for My Chemical Romance” my heart stopped, “What did you just say?” she looked at me confused “I said My Chemical Romance….why?” I stared at her “That’s…that’s their band…the guys.” I looked at her and her mouth almost dropped open “Oh my god, I’m the biggest fan of your boyfriends band.” She said laughing, I shook my head “Gerard isn’t my boyfriend Maddy, you know that…” she sighed and rolled her eyes “Right, fine sure, because you’re totally not going to get married when it’s legalised and have beautiful impossible babies.” I rolled my eyes “You’re like every fan girl on the internet in human form you do know that right?” I stated laughing, she shrugged “I can’t help being passionate about a lot of things…I’m all for frerard. I ship it” she finished and I looked at her quizzically “Frerard?” I questioned, she nodded and grinned “Yeah it’s your ship name, like…Jalex or Andley…” she explained, I laughed “Right, okay.” I shook my head smiling, “So Frank…can I ask you something?” she said smiling at me “sure.” I said as we continued walking down the path through the park “So have you ever told Gerard you loved him?” I looked at her wide eyed “Um…no, no I haven’t.” I admit, she smiles “Will you?” I sighed and smiled “I almost did once…” I trailed off; she tilted her head “Why didn’t you?” I stopped walking and pushed my hands into my pockets before continuing “It wasn’t what he needed to hear.” I finished “Why?” suddenly my happier mood had vanished and a flood of memories from leaving Jersey came back, feeling queasy, I looked to her “he wasn’t even there at the time…I was leaving, leaving the first time, right before we went to the airport, Gerard had left the house, he didn’t like the negative atmosphere, he went out to calm down and he didn’t know my mom had plane tickets for that night, so my mom made me pack up my things and go basically, Gerard wasn’t there for me to say goodbye, so I was going to ask Mikey to tell him I love him…but I changed my mind, because…well I don’t really know why. I should have told him in person, when I was in the hospital, but I couldn’t.” I finished, tears in my eyes, Maddy engulfed me into a hug “It’s okay Frank, you’ll see him again soon, you’ll get to say it to him, face to face and he’ll say it right back.” She pulled away and smiled, I smiled back weakly “Look, I don’t really feel like hanging out any more, I kinda wanna be alone…sorry I dragged you out for nothing…I’ll call you later.” She smiled again and nodded “It’s fine Frank, I’m feeling a McDonalds anyway so I’ll see you ‘round.” She said smiling and walking away.
I stood there in that spot for a few minutes…
Should I even love Gerard? I mean after what happened to me…even if I did say I loved him…how could he say the same to me? I’m a disgrace, I’m filthy and…and fucking insane if I think I even have a chance at a happy ending, there’s no way anyone could ever love me…not anymore…
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