FicWad

“Mikey. Please.” Gerard pleaded into the phone. ‘I haven’t seen you in month’s man, and Ray and Frank are getting antsy. I miss you and I want to catch up, and we also have to have a band meeting sometime. You can’t forget your commitments’ Gerard gnawed on his lip anxiously as he waited for Mikeys most likely sarcastic, lazy reply.

A long, exasperated sigh could be heard over the phone. It was a message that was loud and clear; ‘Fuck off’. Gerard clutched his chest, his heart felt like it was being stabbed from all different directions by hundreds of cold, icy, knives.

“Honestly, Gerard, I don’t know why the fuck you keep calling here. I told you, I’ve got other shit to do, can you just stop being such a controlling ass and let me have a bit of freedom? I’ll see you guys when I’m fucking ready”.

Gerard felt like he was going to collapse. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that Mikey could, in what felt like the space of just one day, completely transform his personality into an angry and sullen man that Gerard, Frank, Ray or anybody else for that matter could stand to be around for more than 15 minutes.

“All right, all right, forget about the band meeting. I just care about you at the moment; you really don’t seem like yourself. If I could just see you to make sure-“

Click Then sounded the mechanical beep that announced that Mikey had abruptly hung up the phone. Gerard stood perfectly still, clutching the bulky home phone to his ear. He slowly placed it back on its hanger and with a sigh of defeat; he shuffled into the kitchen with sunken spirits.

Lindsey was sitting on a bar stool, sipping a steaming drink as she flipped through a tattoo magazine. Gerard checked around the room for Bandit, but thankfully she was nowhere to be seen. He would have hated for her to see him like this, it was as if a storming rain-cloud was hanging over her head.

Bandit was very observant; she would pick up on his deathly vibe and most likely become inconsolable as well.

Gerard slithered around the cluttered kitchen, picking out the last clean cup left in the cupboard and rinsing off a used teaspoon to make himself a coffee. While he waited for the kettle to boil, he turned around and leaned with his back to the counter to face Lindsey, who was already watching him with her eyebrows furrowed together in concern.

“Mikey”. Gerard stated simply as he stared down at his hands and picked at his jagged cuticles.

Lindsey put her cup down and ran her hand through her hair in annoyance, pushing it up out of her face.
“Gerard… I just, I don’t know why you keep calling. All he does is shoot you down and then you become a mess for days afterwards. Why not just let him a sad sack, and then let him call you when he’s done with this temper tantrum?”

Fury erupted inside Gerard, burning away all the sadness he felt and replacing it with a white hot anger.

“Because what if something is wrong! You know how he- How we both are. He was suicidal once, what if he is again? And I keep calling because nobody else seems to give a damn about my brother! Yeah, he’s acting like a real prick, but he’s probably depressed and I just want to help him, but every time I go to his house to see him he doesn’t even answer the door”.

Lindsey was visibly taken aback, her eyes widened in shock and scarily enough to Gerard, a hint of fear. That expression on her face was like a bucket of ice cold water, it dumped all over Gerard’s angry fire and he was back to feeling blue and guilty.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry Lyns. I didn’t mean to take it out on you… I just… I don’t even know.” Gerard slumped down on the island bench and held his greasy hair in clutched fists.

“It’s okay. I know. Shhhhhh. I know” Lindsey kissed Gerard’s head and caressed his hands until they let go of their firm grasp, which she immediately took hold of. The feeling of his wife’s hand in his helped Gerard calm down.

Gerard lifted his tear stained face from the counter and looked around again. “Crap, where’s Bandit? Did she hear me?”

“I’m not sure, she’s upstairs colouring” Lindsey replied.

“Shit.” whispered Gerard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bandit fidgeted in her chair, pushing her tomato covered pasta around her plate with a Dorothy the dinosaur plastic fork.

“You finished, honey?” Lindsey asked as she dove into another forkful of her own pasta. Bandit nodded silently in reply and licked sauce off her chubby little fingers while she waited for Lindsey to come back with a napkin to clean the remaining sauce up off of her face, hands and arms. Bandit was a pretty messy eater.

Bandit had been pretty quiet this evening, Gerard noted. Silence had replaced her usual gleeful giggles, and instead of grinning at her parents, she kept her head bowed down solemnly.

“I’m done too actually” Gerard announced and followed Lindsey into the kitchen to put their dishes in the sink. “Should we have a talk to her about before?” He asked his wife underneath his breath.

“I think so. I need to get her ready for bed though, I’ll bring her out once we’re done”. Lindsey replied.

“Okay, Lady B! Bath time!” Lindsey called to Bandit. She was met with a high pitched “Ewwwwww!” In response.

“Too bad! We’ve got to get you clean! Look at you; you’re covered in pasta sauce”. Lindsey teased playfully, chasing after Bandit who was running as fast as her short little legs could carry her.

Gerard just stood and listened to the happy squeals and giggles of his daughter and his wife contently, and he felt his heart warm, chipping away at any of the resentment he felt towards his brother before.


By the time Lindsey had cleaned Bandit up and gotten her into her pyjamas, the little girl was yawning and rubbing her eyes. She was adorable, tuckered out for the day and ready to fall asleep in a warm bed. She clung to Lindsey’s chest with the corner of a teddy bear between her little teeth, her eyes on her father, who was sitting in the corner on a big arm chair.

Lindsey passed her from her own arms to Gerard’s and whispered in his ear. “She heard, and she asked about it. She’s worried about you”.

Gerard looked down at Bandits sleepy face. “Hey, you”. He smiled.

“Hi” She answered in her small voice.

“I know you heard me yelling before, and I want you to know that everything is okay. I’m fine and so is Mommy. Sometimes when people get upset, they lose their temper and they do things they shouldn’t have. It’s not a very good thing to do though, is it? Daddy should have used his words properly and kept his voice down, because it could have hurt yours, and Mommy’s feelings, right?”

Bandit furrowed her brows together, pondering this response and nodded in agreement.

“Is there anything you want to say?” Gerard asked.

“You said bad words”. Bandit said staunchly.

Gerard chuckled quietly. “Yes I did, and that was a bad thing of me to do. Don’t start saying them, or there will be trouble. I love you” He pushed a lock of hair that fallen in front of her eyes aside, and kissed her gently on the forehead.

“I love you too, Daddy” She said sweetly, smiling back up at him.

“Okay, now. Time for bed, isn’t it?” asked Gerard, looking up at Lindsey, who was already leaning in to take the tired 3 year old back into her arms.

Lindsey’s eyes filled with motherly affection at the sight of her child’s vulnerable face. “Why yes, yes it is”.