Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Some things are better kept a secret.
Gerard awoke early the next morning shivering. The room was dark and rain was pattering gently against the window. Lindsey was snoring softly next to him, cocooned in blankets that she had hogged while they were sleeping. Gerard slowly rolled onto his side and brushed away loose strands of hair that had been caught in his mouth and eyes. He attempted to take back some of the blankets from Lindsey’s vicelike grip, which proved to be a waste of time. He stood up and walked shakily to the wardrobe.
The door was closer than Gerard had anticipated. His head collided with the hard wood and rebounded with a dull thud, nearly knocking him off his feet. He fumbled around for the door handle for what seemed like hours and when he finally got the closet open and the light switch on, he saw, with a barely concealed scream;
He wasn’t alone.
Mikey, clear as anything, was standing in the centre of the tiny room completely still and staring directly at Gerard with pained and panicked eyes.
Gerard blinked and Mikey was gone. He didn’t move for a few moments, he didn’t dare to for fear that something evil would be waiting for him outside of the wardrobe. But he couldn’t go back to bed now. He was wide awake, and very, very shaken.
Gerard brushed his irrational fears aside and grabbed a woollen blanket, then left to head downstairs. Still; No matter how hard he tried, Gerard couldn’t brush off the chilling feeling that this was more than just a hallucination. He had seen Mikey standing there with his own eyes.
Gerard glanced at the clock. It was already 7:00am to his surprise. He supposed he just wasn’t adjusted to the new winter season. He glanced at the kitchen, contemplating food, but decided against it. He wouldn’t be able to stomach it. Gerard shuffled into the next room and sat down on the leather couch. He stayed for a few seconds as he thought out what he was going to do. He had to see Mikey today; it was just his gut instinct.
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Hours passed, and Lindsey had come downstairs to investigate where Gerard had gone after waking to an empty bed. He told her that he woke up early and couldn’t sleep, then came down to watch TV. She thankfully seemed to buy it. Gerard didn’t want to tell her what had really happened. She would probably just tell him that he was dreaming and not to take it seriously.
The family had made breakfast together and were sitting in the quaint kitchen as two of them tucked in. Gerard managed to swallow down his buttered toast and a coffee, despite his stomach protesting at every mouthful, so as not to raise suspicion to the others. While pretending to read the newspaper, he hatched a plan.
He was going to tell them that he would be at the stores to look for a new fantasy book. Really he would go to see Mikey. He wished he could just be honest and tell Lindsey what he was really doing, but she wouldn’t understand.
When Lindsey and Bandit were distracted with a bright and colourful TV show, he slipped on a few warm clothes and went to say goodbye. Lindsey frowned, but didn’t try to stop him from leaving. “Okay, have a good time” She called after him with a suspicious tone in her voice.
Gerard felt the tingle of anxiety coming on before he left the house. The feeling grew stronger with every step. His knees felt like heavy weights while he walked to his car; he was sweating with effort when he finally slipped into his seat.
‘Come off it’ he thought to himself.
While he drove, Gerard’s mind was distracted with possible reactions Mikey could have to him being there, and none of them were good. The short drive seemed to pass much faster than usual, and when Gerard finally saw Mikeys street come into view, he felt panicked and ill-prepared.
‘It’s your fucking brother; the worst he can do is yell at you and push you out.’ said Gerard’s logical conscience.
Unfortunately, Gerard had never been one for logic – He had always ignored it and let be overtaken by his other thoughts, this moment being no exception.
Gerard opened the car door and walked to the door. He stood there for longer than he’d like to admit, raising and lowering his fist to knock on the door, several times, before finally gaining the courage to actually do it. Soon after he could hear footsteps approaching the door, they were light and quick; whereas Mikey pretty much stomped everywhere he went.
The door opened a crack, and a head that definitely didn't belong to his brother came into view. It was a young girl, short and slim with black, wavy hair. She looked at Gerard shyly with wide blue eyes and didn’t say anything.
“Uhhh… Is Mikey in?” Gerard questioned. She looked confused. “Oh! You mean Michael?” she asked.
“Um, yeah” replied Gerard.
“Hang on one second.” She shut the door. Gerard could hear her walk away from the door. Then he heard a muffled conversation between her and his brother, he didn’t sound very pleased.
A few seconds passed and Mikey pulled the door open. He radiated anger like an open flame. Gerard put his foot in the door to stop him from slamming it in his face.
“What do you want Gerard?” Mikey hissed through his teeth.
“Mikey, if I could just talk to you for a second” Gerard begged. He searched his brother’s face with his eyes, trying to see if there was anything left of the old Mikey he knew in there. The younger brother gave him a ferocious look and looked back inside the house at the terrified girl. “What are you just standing there for?! Can’t you see I have shit to do?” Mikey growled.
When she stayed frozen to the spot, Mikey raised his voice again. “Get out!”
The girl quickly went into the bedroom and grabbed an armful of clothing and a pair of gigantic high heels before running out of the house and into the freezing rain in just a t-shirt and bare feet.
Gerard felt absolute disgust. He didn’t know what had become of his brother, but this man in front of him sure wasn’t as fuck the Michael Way he knew. The real Mikey wouldn’t have looked at another woman; he would have been infatuated with Alicia… Speaking of Alicia, where was she?!
Gerard wanted to smack Mikey over the head, but exploding and yelling wouldn’t grant him access to the inside of the house, so, he kept his mouth shut.
“Whatever” Mikey sighed as he let go of the door edge and wandered inside the house again. He had left the door wide open, and Gerard took that as an invitation to follow him.
Gerard gingerly stepped into the dimly lit hallway. The house radiated depression and the musty smell of sleep hung heavy in the air. A small ray of watery natural light was at the end of the hallway where the kitchen was situated. Gerard felt as if he was entering an ancient undiscovered tomb. His steps were soft as if not to disturb anything, and he felt as if he were in a dream world. If he made any sudden movements, the imaginary world would shatter around him.
Mikey was rummaging through his filthy kitchen and pulled out a packet of chips. This was the first time that Gerard had seen him in months, and the change in him was striking.
Mikey had always had a skinny frame, but he was now uncomfortably skeletal. Gerard could see his ribs and shoulder blades protruding through his shirt. His skin was translucently pale and his lips were blue with cold. Gerard then noticed that every window he could see was wide open, with rain dampened curtains lifting and falling heavily in the icy winter wind.
“Jesus Mikey, I’m freezing my balls off in here. Why are the windows still open?” Gerard scolded, and then walked around the room; closing each window with a shiver.
Mikey didn’t reply and just stood behind the counter watching Gerard with big sad eyes. He had changed his demeanour had completely, and now he just looked like a little boy, lost and in need of a hug.
Gerard decided to just say what was on his mind. “Mikey… I don’t know what I can say that won’t result in us arguing”.
Mikey’s face suddenly contorted into an expression that Gerard could only describe as complete and utter agony.
He quickly hid his face into his hands and half stumbled, half ran into his bedroom. It looked like he had no control over his legs. The door slammed behind him, a click signalling that he also locked it and from inside the room came a strangled scream.
“MIKEY!” Gerard yelled, running after him and trying with all his might to open the door. “Let me in! What the fuck! What’s wrong?!”
Another scream was heard, and Gerard became even more hysterical. “Are you in pain?! Tell me god dammit or I swear I’ll break down the door and drag you to the hospital myself”
Mikeys deathly appearance sprang back to Gerard’s mind, and thoughts of kidney failure, heart attacks and whatever else could be brought on by Mikeys self-destruction raced back and forth like a pinball machine inside his head.
“Gerard!” choked out Mikey. He sounded completely helpless and needy. Gerard had never been more confused in his life.
The weak lock finally gave away and Gerard pushed through into the messy bedroom that stunk of sweat and sex.
Mikey was lying barely conscious on the unmade bed.
His mouth was lying slack while he gasped for breath and his greasy hair was slathered messily on his sweaty forehead. Gerard’s hands trembled as he smoothed away the mask of hair and took in the gut wrenching sight of his brother.
At that moment, Gerard thought for sure he had lost him.
The door was closer than Gerard had anticipated. His head collided with the hard wood and rebounded with a dull thud, nearly knocking him off his feet. He fumbled around for the door handle for what seemed like hours and when he finally got the closet open and the light switch on, he saw, with a barely concealed scream;
He wasn’t alone.
Mikey, clear as anything, was standing in the centre of the tiny room completely still and staring directly at Gerard with pained and panicked eyes.
Gerard blinked and Mikey was gone. He didn’t move for a few moments, he didn’t dare to for fear that something evil would be waiting for him outside of the wardrobe. But he couldn’t go back to bed now. He was wide awake, and very, very shaken.
Gerard brushed his irrational fears aside and grabbed a woollen blanket, then left to head downstairs. Still; No matter how hard he tried, Gerard couldn’t brush off the chilling feeling that this was more than just a hallucination. He had seen Mikey standing there with his own eyes.
Gerard glanced at the clock. It was already 7:00am to his surprise. He supposed he just wasn’t adjusted to the new winter season. He glanced at the kitchen, contemplating food, but decided against it. He wouldn’t be able to stomach it. Gerard shuffled into the next room and sat down on the leather couch. He stayed for a few seconds as he thought out what he was going to do. He had to see Mikey today; it was just his gut instinct.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hours passed, and Lindsey had come downstairs to investigate where Gerard had gone after waking to an empty bed. He told her that he woke up early and couldn’t sleep, then came down to watch TV. She thankfully seemed to buy it. Gerard didn’t want to tell her what had really happened. She would probably just tell him that he was dreaming and not to take it seriously.
The family had made breakfast together and were sitting in the quaint kitchen as two of them tucked in. Gerard managed to swallow down his buttered toast and a coffee, despite his stomach protesting at every mouthful, so as not to raise suspicion to the others. While pretending to read the newspaper, he hatched a plan.
He was going to tell them that he would be at the stores to look for a new fantasy book. Really he would go to see Mikey. He wished he could just be honest and tell Lindsey what he was really doing, but she wouldn’t understand.
When Lindsey and Bandit were distracted with a bright and colourful TV show, he slipped on a few warm clothes and went to say goodbye. Lindsey frowned, but didn’t try to stop him from leaving. “Okay, have a good time” She called after him with a suspicious tone in her voice.
Gerard felt the tingle of anxiety coming on before he left the house. The feeling grew stronger with every step. His knees felt like heavy weights while he walked to his car; he was sweating with effort when he finally slipped into his seat.
‘Come off it’ he thought to himself.
While he drove, Gerard’s mind was distracted with possible reactions Mikey could have to him being there, and none of them were good. The short drive seemed to pass much faster than usual, and when Gerard finally saw Mikeys street come into view, he felt panicked and ill-prepared.
‘It’s your fucking brother; the worst he can do is yell at you and push you out.’ said Gerard’s logical conscience.
Unfortunately, Gerard had never been one for logic – He had always ignored it and let be overtaken by his other thoughts, this moment being no exception.
Gerard opened the car door and walked to the door. He stood there for longer than he’d like to admit, raising and lowering his fist to knock on the door, several times, before finally gaining the courage to actually do it. Soon after he could hear footsteps approaching the door, they were light and quick; whereas Mikey pretty much stomped everywhere he went.
The door opened a crack, and a head that definitely didn't belong to his brother came into view. It was a young girl, short and slim with black, wavy hair. She looked at Gerard shyly with wide blue eyes and didn’t say anything.
“Uhhh… Is Mikey in?” Gerard questioned. She looked confused. “Oh! You mean Michael?” she asked.
“Um, yeah” replied Gerard.
“Hang on one second.” She shut the door. Gerard could hear her walk away from the door. Then he heard a muffled conversation between her and his brother, he didn’t sound very pleased.
A few seconds passed and Mikey pulled the door open. He radiated anger like an open flame. Gerard put his foot in the door to stop him from slamming it in his face.
“What do you want Gerard?” Mikey hissed through his teeth.
“Mikey, if I could just talk to you for a second” Gerard begged. He searched his brother’s face with his eyes, trying to see if there was anything left of the old Mikey he knew in there. The younger brother gave him a ferocious look and looked back inside the house at the terrified girl. “What are you just standing there for?! Can’t you see I have shit to do?” Mikey growled.
When she stayed frozen to the spot, Mikey raised his voice again. “Get out!”
The girl quickly went into the bedroom and grabbed an armful of clothing and a pair of gigantic high heels before running out of the house and into the freezing rain in just a t-shirt and bare feet.
Gerard felt absolute disgust. He didn’t know what had become of his brother, but this man in front of him sure wasn’t as fuck the Michael Way he knew. The real Mikey wouldn’t have looked at another woman; he would have been infatuated with Alicia… Speaking of Alicia, where was she?!
Gerard wanted to smack Mikey over the head, but exploding and yelling wouldn’t grant him access to the inside of the house, so, he kept his mouth shut.
“Whatever” Mikey sighed as he let go of the door edge and wandered inside the house again. He had left the door wide open, and Gerard took that as an invitation to follow him.
Gerard gingerly stepped into the dimly lit hallway. The house radiated depression and the musty smell of sleep hung heavy in the air. A small ray of watery natural light was at the end of the hallway where the kitchen was situated. Gerard felt as if he was entering an ancient undiscovered tomb. His steps were soft as if not to disturb anything, and he felt as if he were in a dream world. If he made any sudden movements, the imaginary world would shatter around him.
Mikey was rummaging through his filthy kitchen and pulled out a packet of chips. This was the first time that Gerard had seen him in months, and the change in him was striking.
Mikey had always had a skinny frame, but he was now uncomfortably skeletal. Gerard could see his ribs and shoulder blades protruding through his shirt. His skin was translucently pale and his lips were blue with cold. Gerard then noticed that every window he could see was wide open, with rain dampened curtains lifting and falling heavily in the icy winter wind.
“Jesus Mikey, I’m freezing my balls off in here. Why are the windows still open?” Gerard scolded, and then walked around the room; closing each window with a shiver.
Mikey didn’t reply and just stood behind the counter watching Gerard with big sad eyes. He had changed his demeanour had completely, and now he just looked like a little boy, lost and in need of a hug.
Gerard decided to just say what was on his mind. “Mikey… I don’t know what I can say that won’t result in us arguing”.
Mikey’s face suddenly contorted into an expression that Gerard could only describe as complete and utter agony.
He quickly hid his face into his hands and half stumbled, half ran into his bedroom. It looked like he had no control over his legs. The door slammed behind him, a click signalling that he also locked it and from inside the room came a strangled scream.
“MIKEY!” Gerard yelled, running after him and trying with all his might to open the door. “Let me in! What the fuck! What’s wrong?!”
Another scream was heard, and Gerard became even more hysterical. “Are you in pain?! Tell me god dammit or I swear I’ll break down the door and drag you to the hospital myself”
Mikeys deathly appearance sprang back to Gerard’s mind, and thoughts of kidney failure, heart attacks and whatever else could be brought on by Mikeys self-destruction raced back and forth like a pinball machine inside his head.
“Gerard!” choked out Mikey. He sounded completely helpless and needy. Gerard had never been more confused in his life.
The weak lock finally gave away and Gerard pushed through into the messy bedroom that stunk of sweat and sex.
Mikey was lying barely conscious on the unmade bed.
His mouth was lying slack while he gasped for breath and his greasy hair was slathered messily on his sweaty forehead. Gerard’s hands trembled as he smoothed away the mask of hair and took in the gut wrenching sight of his brother.
At that moment, Gerard thought for sure he had lost him.
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