Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Athena's Children
Reviews
Athena's Children
(#) plums 2013-06-23
Interesting premise, but your chapter length is horrible. Chapters in stories should never be single scenes. There are plenty of places you could have expanded things here. What were the details of the memories that were shared? How did he escape the Dursleys? What happened when the will was read? How exactly did he get in contact with his sister and get her information? How was his plane trip?Athena's Children
(#) jediprankster 2013-06-24
I am curious to see where you go with this, but I have to agree with plums one hundred percent. Everything that he or she said was spot on. Thirteen hundred words in barely an appetizer, but that is two chapters from you.Athena's Children
(#) Bronze 2015-08-31
Oh the old goat is going to go out of his mind now that his weapon is out of his control! Not to mention getting some true training to kill old Moldysnorts!Athena's Children
(#) Bronze 2016-06-06
Will this ever update? I'd love to read where you take this!
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