FicWad

I'm so so so so so sorry I have been gone for so long. It's been a nightmare, but I'm back and I'm sooooooo not even close to done with this story, I promise! I hope you guys like what I have in store!



Chapter 22

A Thousand Bodies Piled Up

July 4, 2002

Its a couple weeks before our album drops and here I lie in the dark, on the couch listening to the sound of both Gerard and Matt snoring. Gerard is asleep in his bed and Matt is on a blowup mattress next to the couch; right next to me. Are you fucking kidding me?

It’s been a few weeks since I opened that mystery box. The one with the blood and….I sigh out loud trying not to think about it. But I’m defeated again and my mind wanders. I’m still not sure if the blood was real or fake. Who the fuck would send me something like that? Why now? And how in the hell did they get that picture?

I sigh yet again, audibly and turn onto my back; staring at the ceiling. I stare at the ceiling; watching passing lights of cars bounce and dance across it like an intricate dance routine. It’s amusing for about two point five seconds and then I’m bored again. I can’t go back to sleep. Oh who am I kidding? I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks and Matt being here all the damn time wasn’t helping. When he’s here I’m stuck on the couch and not in the warm and safe arms of Gerard. Bastard. Why can’t he go away? Why is he always here?

I’ve been spending a lot of my free time with Taylor. She’s a doll. It’s like I’ve known her my entire life. We are attached at the hip. I talked Blaine and Nate into letting her be their roommate since she was between homes when I met her. It was the least I could do after her having to witness Frank and I’s fight the fight time we hung out.

Gerard has been trying harder to spend time with Frank since that night too. He told me he wanted to make up for being a terrible friend and he was really trying. Frank was letting him try too, so things were looking up on that front.

Gerard and I are the only ones that know about the box. Gerard is worried about me and I really haven’t given him a reason to worry. I am strong and I haven’t shown weakness over it.

Jamia, Taylor, and I have been running around Jersey. After shows, we go to Jamia house a lot of times and get completely trashed, which has angered Gerard, but I try not to worry him or argue with him over it. He does the same when I’m there or not. He has no right to say what I can and cannot do. Why is he so controlling? Why do I love him so much? I still haven’t said the words out loud, but he must know; surely?

A loud snore draws me back to reality. GODDAMMIT! Really, Matt?!

I hate him. I hate to say that. Hate is a strong word, but I do. I hate him.

The box has given me nightmares when I do get to sleep and that is causing me to not sleep, which is wearing me down. I mean really wearing me down to where I feel like death warmed over. I look and feel like shit, but still I am unable to sleep. I try to close my eyes, but something is gnawing at the back of mind; that fucking box. Where did they get that picture? How? No one had access to them but us.

I shake the thought away and roll over, now facing the douche bag on the floor. I sigh and switch to the other side.

Things have to look up soon. They have to. Shit can’t stay this way forever. Right?

Why does my mind and gut keep telling me Matt is bad news and he has something to do with this box? He’s never liked me and him being friends with Kat should be a good indicator that he’s just a bad person. Why am I the only to see that? I know Gerard and he go way back, but does he really know what kind of person he really is? I’ve seen it, but no one else has. Why is that? Why does Matt hate my guts? He’s made it perfectly crystal clear that I am someone he loathes entirely and in turn I have voiced my disgust for him. It’s a hate relationship and if things continue to escalate, what’s going to happen?

I wanna get me out of my head, because it’s getting quite cramped, ya know? So, I decide I need to get up and get out of the dark ass basement and see some day light before our gig tonight.

I lean up on my elbows and look around the dark, gloomy basement for my clothes. I then swing my feet off the couch, careful not to bump Matt’s bed. I scoff out loud in annoyance. GO AWAY!

I stand up, tip toe over to the bathroom with my clothes in hand, and close the door quietly behind me. I dress in black skinnies, a white undershirt and a dark red v neck t-shirt, a silver studded belt, and my black converse. I put on my black eye make-up and straighten my long dark hair. I check my reflection in the mirror; pleased with the results, I quickly and quietly tip toe through the basement to Gerard’s desk. I scribble him a short note:

G-

Going to Starbucks for some caffeine; be back in a little bit!

P.S. I took your car. Don’t be mad.

- T

I pick up his keys and leave through the basement doors and up the stairs to the driveway and the Subaru.

The sun was just now coming up at a little after six in the morning. What a beautiful Independence Day morning in New Jersey?!

I got in his car and careful made my way through what little traffic there was in the neighborhood to the main roads of Belleview. My mind kept wandering back to the night I got the package.

-Flashback-

“What is it?” He asked as I took a pair of scissors to the tape across the top of the small brown box.

I shrugged in response. I opened the box and gasped.

Gerard looked up from the box at me, “Is that real blood?” Gerard asked almost too loudly, making me clap my hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. Gerard and I stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds till I took my hand away.

I looked back down at the box. What the hell is this?

I quietly examine the contents of the box: blood and one small 2x3 of Gerard and I from the first My Chemical Romance show last year, and written on the back of the picture was: I warned you.

No one had those pictures but Gerard and I. No one else would have access to them.

Why was our picture covered in blood? And the words: I warned you….keep running through my head over and over.

Gerard snatched the box from my hands and studied the contents; a puzzled look planted on his face. I didn’t give him much time with the box, before I snatched it right back and crammed it into one of the many drawers in his desk.

“Tristan-” Gerard tried to protest, but I was finished before he could get another word in edgewise.

Gerard continued to stare at me with concerned eyes, “What?” I asked trying not to sound too bitchy. “It’s nothing,” I explained, “Look, we don’t need the drama, so don’t mess with this. It’s nothing. Don’t push this. I don’t know who sent it or what they are talking about, so don’t worry about it.” I placed a hand on his shoulder to try to comfort him.

Gerard just stared for a moment, and then shook his head in a manner that said he wasn’t going to ask anymore about it; least not at this moment in time.

He placed his hand over mine on his shoulder and squeezed it in response to reassure me and my protest. Gerard took a staggered breath, “Ok, Trist.” He smiled, but the smile didn’t meet his eyes. I knew he was upset.

-Back to reality-

Jesus Christ, I’m an asshole.

I finally pull into the mall parking lot. The city looked dead; like everyone was still sleeping.

I park in the desolate lot, get out; adjusting my aviators from my eyes to the top of my head, and head into the mall. Coffee….coffee…coffee.

I took long strides, just wanting to get the coffee and get out of there. Something about malls freaks me out, especially when they are so empty. Creepy…even.

I made it into the Starbucks, being the first at the counter; I ordered Gerard’s favorite coffee and a cappuccino for myself. I stood next to the counter, waiting for my order; being one of four people in the whole place at this hour.

“Look whose up early,” a familiar voice came from behind me. Shit. I slowly turn around to be met with two evil grins towering over me. Fuck!

I shrink back against the counter, while sucking in a deep breath, “What are you two doing here?” I asked through a mischievous grin that I can’t seem to wipe off my face when faced with the unwelcomed sight of Troy and Jared.

Jared and Troy both stared down at me with amusement across their collective faces; not believing that I had just had the lady balls to speak to them, let alone, in a sarcastic tone.

I then noticed their foot locker uniforms and a smile tugged at my lips and I let out a small laugh, “Oh shit, sorry. I didn’t know you guys worked in the Belleview mall.” I knew I was pushing them and it wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t help myself. I wasn’t afraid of them.

Their eyes set ablaze. Jared’s jaw twitched in anger. Troy just stared at me with hate-filled eyes.

“TRISTAN AND GERARD!” The barista called out for my order.

As soon as the names were called, Jared’s face went red with anger, “I warned you,” he grunted through gritted teeth. I warned you. Oh my god. They sent the box.

I backed up, feeling my heart pounding against my ribcage. I grabbed my order and high-tailed it out of there, knowing full well if they caught me, I would end up the hospital or worse. I rushed through the mall; I could hear their hurried footsteps behind me.

“Say hey to Otter for us, bitch!” Jared sneered from behind me. Otter? Where the hell have I heard that name? Fucking Matt is Otter! That motherfucker!

I finally made it to the car and locked myself inside. I drove as fast as I was able back to the Way house.

I sat in the driveway in silence. It was still early and I sipped on my cappuccino while thinking about my encounter with Jared and Troy. Why did I feel the need to provoke them? That was so close. Too close. If Gerard knew what I had done, he would be so pissed at me. That bastard, Matt!!! I put my head on the steering wheel and tried not to freak out.

I was brought back to reality by Gerard gently knocking on the rolled up window. I jumped, opened the car door, and presented Gerard with his luke warm coffee. He smiled while taking it and helping me out of his car.

“It’s probably cold. I’m sorry,” I said lowly as I took his hand and got out of the car, closing the door behind me.

Gerard sipped it, “Sugar, its fine. That’s what a microwave is for,” he grinned while kissing the top of my head. “Thank you for leaving a note and thank you for the coffee.”

I can’t tell him who sent the box. He can’t know. He can’t find out that Matt is working with them either. He wouldn’t be rational. But on the other hand if he finds out I knew and didn’t tell him, he’ll be so angry, but if I do tell him- I’ll be under house arrest for sure.

I wrapped my free arm around his waist and nestled his neck. I could feel him relax into my embrace and wrap his arms around me, pulling me even closer to him. He kissed the top of my head and smelled my hair.

When we finally pulled apart he was frowning.

“What is it?” I asked, trying not to sound like I was hiding something.

He shook his head and smiled, “Nothing, just Taylor called like fifteen minutes ago asking for you. I told her you were gone,” Gerard furrowed his eyebrows, “You gotta tell her that this particular hour isn’t best to call my house,” he says sarcastically.

I roll my hazel eyes at him and grin sideways, “What? Did she wake you?” I laugh, “Poor poor sleepy Gerard.” I giggle and poke him in the ribs, making him laugh and grab for my arm, pulling me to him.

He plants a chaste kiss upon my desperately wanting lips before saying, “I’m not the one whose cranky this morning,” he smirks then kisses me again, but this time it’s deeper, but oh so brief.

When he pulls away, I’m pouting, “I’m not cranky,” I protest, but only to keep up the camaraderie between us. It’s pleasant for me having such an eventful morning, especially at this hour.

He smiles once again, planting his forehead upon mine, “Whatever you say, sugar.” He’s so playful sometimes. I love playful Gerard. He’s fun.

He kisses my forehead again, before taking my hand and leading me back down to the basement.

Later that night, July 4th, 2002

We played earlier in the night at the Belleville venue to at least a couple hundred people at a local club, but now we are all standing against our old ass white van, waiting on the firework show that Belleville, New Jersey was putting on for Independence Day.

Jamia was snuggled up to Frank and they were pretty much causing our scene to be nearly rated R.

Ray and Mikey were in some deep conversation about….honestly it could have been anything. I wasn’t really paying attention to them.

Taylor, Blaine, and Nate were talking about something to do with their apartment and all were smoking.

Gerard and I were trying to be part of the conversation between Taylor, Blaine, and Nate, but we were failing miserably. I was standing hand-in-hand with him and leaning against his shoulder like I was tired; which I was because I haven’t been sleeping. That is beside the point. I was trying to be close to him and I was succeeding to a certain point. I wanted more. I wanted to kiss him and be alone with him and well….you know. This, of course, was NOT happening. It felt like everyone was trying to chaperone us at all the shows and even at home, with our permanent babysitter, Matt.

As you can tell, I was and am frustrated with the way my relationship with Gerard was going in the physical department. Well, every department, really.

I sighed out loud, adjusting my hand in his.

Gerard looks down at me, “What is it, Trist?” he smiles sweetly at me, with a cigarette hanging from his delicious pink lips that I just want to bite. My God, I have it bad right now. STOP THAT! I shove those thoughts away!

I muster up a smile, “Just tired,” I yawn to show him.

“You wanna go?” He asks, “Cause, we can if you want,” I cut him off before he says anything else.

“N-no, I’m ok,” I laugh, “I’ll live. I’m gonna go in and get a water though. You want anything?” I ask before letting go of his hand, and started walking toward the backstage door of the club.

Gerard’s eyes light up with raw amusement, “not anything you can get in there, darlin’,” My knees feel weak. Oh my.

I shake my head at him in disbelief and a tad bit turned on. I’m so over this babysitter shit. I turn on my heel and disappear behind the door.

I find myself on the end of a long dark hallway leading back to the bar of the club. The place is overloaded with people on the other side of the hall, but the hall itself was empty, except for me.

I walk toward the end of the hall as fast I can. When I am only halfway down the hall I hear a man say, “You know he warned you, right?”

I turn around to see Matt eyeing me from an empty doorway on the left of the hall. He takes a single step toward me, causing me to take a step away from him. Something is wrong. I can feel it in my gut. This is bad. So fucking bad.

I narrowed my eyes, “What are you doing, Matt?”

Matt then springs forward, grabbing me by my arm and literally throwing me into the room he just came out of, before slamming the door and locking me inside. I am now staring at the door in bewilderment, wondering why he would do that. Then I hear a sound come from behind me. My scalp pricks and I know I’m in danger. Fuck.

“I warned you.”